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#70559 +(149)- [X]

<Spike> I had a cook at my job ask if I wanted to go out for a beer and a bong hit today.
<Spike> I should have known to just say no when a 40 year old man who was in jail for a year says to me (age 19) "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

#70562 +(797)- [X]

<CaffieneHead>  We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart.

#70565 +(703)- [X]

<wig> Seriously...   .45k/sec it is a joke.. I could have just gone out and taken my own photos of children in this time

#70567 +(178)- [X]

<Arch1942> oh my god i love this WC3 mod
<dj> whats it like?
<Arch1942> 4 races that have 3 abilities each
<Arch1942> orcs, humans, night elves, and undead. 
<Arch1942> Very Cool.
<dj> cool
<dj> whats the differences between the races?
<Hamster-AFK> dj - Well, white people can't jump for one thing

#70608 +(160)- [X]

<MegamanX2K> Heh, I wonder what my mom'll think when she sees my Dune 2000 T Shirt.
<MegamanX2K> "Long life the fighters? Arabs? WTF, my son's a terrorist!"

#70667 +(454)- [X]

<Zeal> Ignorance is bliss. :]
<devilsad> Ignorance is leaning out the car window at 100 miles per hour, feeling the wind in your hair... then hitting a pole.
<Brass> Ignorance is watching the instant replay, and hoping the guy makes the catch this time.

#70681 +(37)- [X]

*** Tartuf has joined channel #college
<Tartuf> hey
<xab> who in the hell is that?
<Tartuf> ...
<Tartuf> ur worse nightmare :p
<xab> mum?

#70746 +(369)- [X]

<timmo> i wonder if gay people are ever like
<timmo> "oh man that is so straight"
<timmo> or
<timmo> "youre so heterosexual"
<Livewire0> "Quit being such a hetero!"
<Livewireo> with the limp wrst flick, of course

#70774 +(56)- [X]

<[MAAO]ricequeen> HEY GUYS
<[MAAO]ricequeen> SHOULD IS AY YES
<[SA]Portable591> do it
<[SA]diekthx> IT"S A DUDE DUDE
<[sa]unsound> what sort of fuqn question is that
<[sa]-piston> SHE HAS A PENIS
<[SA]TheFlyingTortillaMan> PIX PLZ
<[SA]eloH> traceroute ur sperm 2 her face
<[sa]unsound> of course the answer is LOL K, U GO FIST
<[SA]rizzou> fist? or first?
<[sa]unsound> fist
<[sa]-piston> FIST

#71077 +(272)- [X]

<Ifenna> In a CDROM drive on a PC, does the CD spin or the laser?

#71086 +(-11)- [X]

<WhatUSee> does anybody know a decent format utility other than the windows default?

#71089 +(203)- [X]

<Rose> can someone explain to me why are the celeron 1ghz so much cheaper than the P42.2ghz?
<Rose> are they that much different?
<Rose> speed wise?

#71091 +(35)- [X]

<PD-FATAL> does windows update use java?

#71108 +(241)- [X]

<unclefu> why the hell is network browsing so slow with xp
<unclefu> ... perhaps it's cause the other computer is off...

#71125 +(553)- [X]

<+sic6sic> HOLY FUCK!
<+sic6sic> i just found a cd full of pr0n i forgot i had
<+sic6sic> }=]
* +sic6sic is gone (reason: uhhhhh...uhm.....sleeping? )

#71136 +(599)- [X]

<egernness> jeg leder efter en sød pige som vil lære mig bedre at kende... hun må godt have lidt de samme interesser som mig, en webdesigner ville være overdrevet vildhed.... /msg me
<@bamsefar> egernness: what?
<egernness> need sex

#71139 +(537)- [X]

<edeity> DDoS attack on a nightclub bar, get all your friends to keep asking for water.

#71152 +(241)- [X]

<Antimatter> for a moment I thought M$ was going into the arms contracting business there
<Antimatter> oh, wait. they are, aren't they
<Antimatter> battleships running Windows... *shudder*
<NightmareBlade> o-O
<Antimatter> yes, they're pushing to get windows used in control systems for ships & stuff
<Antimatter> gives a new dimension to "blue screen of death"
<Antimatter> "Uh-oh, the fire control computer got infected with a virus"
<NightmareBlade> ***WARNING*** U.S.S New Jersey could not load targetting codes. Please insert your Windows 98 SE cd into b:

#71162 +(863)- [X]

<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly, you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.

#71167 +(769)- [X]

<mattttttt> shut up
<mattttttt> all of you
<cat9> fuck off
<mattttttt> shut the fuck up and stop filling up my logs
<cat9> if you want silence, go and idle in notepad

#71176 +(695)- [X]

<@ANARCHEY> LOL da_rut@hotmail.com intentionally sent me a few mails with a virus in it.. luckily my Norton picked it up... now i was gonna subscribe his e-mail address with some gay porn sites... first site i tried he was already subscribed to :P

#71181 +(284)- [X]

(@f00kaG0at) im still trying to figure out how to get to minesweeper
(@f00kaG0at) in xp
(@Yemen) :D
(@f00kaG0at) goddamn new start menu
(@Yemen) yeh
(@Yemen) it confused me for a couple of days too
(@f00kaG0at) ive had it 5 months
(@Yemen) oh
(@Yemen) ^_^

#71204 +(470)- [X]

<Lady> wat does your nick mean or stand for
<Gandalf> you serious?
<Lady> wat i say
<Gandalf> I just can't believe that you don't know where Gandalf comes from
<Lady> sorry i'm way behind you lovey
<Gandalf> it's ok.. do you watch porn?
<Lady> not that much
<Gandalf> oh ok.. it's the name of a porn star
<-- Lady has quit (Quit: Leaving)

#71216 +(699)- [X]

<julia> my inglish is pore
<Nurgle> engrish
<julia> ja! my engrish is pore

#71241 +(169)- [X]

*** kkkkkk was kicked by Rimbaud (Two kkk's doesn't make a black panther)

#71254 +(696)- [X]

<Cypher_Dyne> I feel like ipizza tonight.
<Nakoo> Ipizza?
<[Smoke]> That's the pizza for Mac users
<[Smoke]> iPizza
<[Smoke]> It's semi-transparent and comes in at least 5 colors
<[Smoke]> Also, iPizza is in no way compatible with your current pizza cutting tools

#71269 +(294)- [X]

<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM  up 33 days,  5:21, 1 user, load averages: 0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2): 5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09, 1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s) today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT 2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]>   6:13pm  up 33 days, 20:07,  1 user,  load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it up

#71349 +(366)- [X]

<@Dave> a hooker that doesn't charge upfront is known as "a girlfriend"

#71385 +(378)- [X]

+|+ [PIT]Kabar has joined #linux
< [PIT]Kabar> ok i got a dumb question
< [PIT]Kabar> <-- linux newb
(+soroh6) well
(+soroh6) we don't allow dumb questions
(+soroh6) sorry.
< [PIT]Kabar> bah usless
< [PIT]Kabar> some great community
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has left #linux []
(+soroh6) HAHAHA
(+soroh6) omg

#71406 +(223)- [X]

Dutchman: I admit ignorance, I have no idea what a Dirty Sanchez is but thats the name of my fantasy football league

#71433 +(424)- [X]

<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not only against our rules but it is also against the law. It constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud. Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
<hans> 0_o
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?

#71434 +(588)- [X]

*** anonimis has joined #kdl
<anonimis> join #5fm
<orbit> erm...
<orbit> what?
*** anonimis was kicked by orbit (dont advertise in here)
<Quench> lol
<Quench> he missed the /
<Quench> you moron

#71435 +(256)- [X]

<Slyder> I think i found what i am going to buy
<Slyder> http://www.futureshop.ca/catalog/proddetail.asp?sku_id=0665000FS10006972&
<Slyder> thoughts?
<Hadaken> Get a shorter URL

#71436 +(217)- [X]

<1stStrike> is everything in britian closed on a saturday or something?
<Jericho24.> at 6pm, yes
<1stStrike> well it's only 1 pm
<Jericho24.> as u just said urself... B R I T A I N
<1stStrike> oh wait

#71437 +(141)- [X]

<jcarle> We don't have SATs in canada.
<jcarle> All our words stop at 6 letters.

#71440 +(177)- [X]

(@CadWork) for a long time listening to snoop dogg when I was young I was like, wtf is that
(@CadWork) now when I hear them say words I don't know the meaning off, I just assume it's drugs

#71441 +(119)- [X]

<Hiroe> I want to create a new doll toy for kids
<Hiroe> called "Jersey Baby"
<Hiroe> Idea being, it screams endlessly, until you wrap it in plastic to silence it and throw it away

#71442 +(2217)- [X]

<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"

#71486 +(200)- [X]

<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and call it a day
<Shanks> :(
<@Guyver3> sorry
<@Guyver3> i meant
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and methadone and demerol and smoke pot, and call it a day since im so hardcore

#71561 +(230)- [X]

[hardlined] someone give me a phone number
(timmo) 867-5309
[hardlined] area code?
(timmo) 801
[hardlined] whats the name "we" should as for
(timmo) jenny
[hardlined] ;-)
[hardlined] the subscriber u have dialed is not in service

#71573 +(459)- [X]

<saxxonpike> in the restroom in a walmart once, i shouted really loudly "DAMN THIS WATERS COLD" and i heard a plop in the next stall and he said "yeah, it's cold over here too"

#71577 +(114)- [X]

<Skate> I believe in god as much as I believe in a world without porn...

#71590 +(143)- [X]

<Nikita> we got like a foot of snow today
<Nikita> it sucked
--> stef (vix@staff.root.gg) has joined #lameindustries
--- LameServ gives channel half-operator status to stef
<Nikita> i shoveled the driveway and the stairs
<Iced_Eyes> hehe
<Iced_Eyes> i only got about 4 and 1/2 inches
<stef> argh! stupid dialup
<Rav3n> i remeber the good old days
<Rav3n> when i used to say that
<Rav3n> heh
<Nikita> stupid dialupt or only 4.5 inches?

#71626 +(315)- [X]

<jas0n> man im a geek
<jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair

#71641 +(142)- [X]

<DJDevil-San> i currently have no CDBurner/copier/etc....and is it possible to download the drivers and stuff and my CD drive becomes one?

#71657 +(278)- [X]

Sway21: dude frondz how do you type so fast
Frondz: It's not something I'm proud of.
Sway21: why's that
Frondz: It's detrimental to masturbation.
Sway21: .. guess i should stop asking so many questions

#71672 +(133)- [X]

<@madCoder> now its time for me to go raid my roommates food
<@madCoder> :D
<@iota> lol
<@ploppity`away> lol mad
* @iota has a huge chest freezer with some goodies
<@iota> come raid it
<@ploppity`away> iota: pm
<@madCoder> :O
<@iota> i just got a bunch of buy one get one free ice cream too
<@JaZz0r> eyes are blurry
<@JaZz0r> [Sat:3:41:13a] * iota has a huge chest
<@ploppity`away> woah
<@JaZz0r> did you say anything after that?
<@madCoder> lmao
<@iota> FREEZER
<@JaZz0r> "with some goodies"?

#71694 +(519)- [X]

<Rjx> "Funeral" is an anagram for "Real Fun"
<Rjx> Go Figure.

#71701 +(490)- [X]

(cutey) what you upto, cmang
(cmang) cutey: Nothing much. :) Just squeaking.
(cmang) And waiting for an email response from my employeer
(cmang) to find out if I get to go to work today. Hmm.
(cutey) :]
(cmang) cutey: Nothing too interesting, really. How about yourself? ;)
(cutey) :>
(kyr) you DO realize you speak to a bot, right?
(cmang) :(
(cmang) I'm going to cry salt mines now.

#71773 +(239)- [X]

<tsb^blah|fx> beer will get you laid everytime
<tsb^blah|fx> maybe not with an attractive woman
<tsb^blah|fx> or maybe not even a woman at all
<tsb^blah|fx> but you won't know the difference

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