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#62481 +(823)- [X]

<haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
<haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
<haz3l> really?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
<haz3l> Would that owrk?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
<haz3l> :D
<haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
<haz3l> LGBR HELP

#62507 +(298)- [X]

<PSX> my ex told me she was late one time.. i kept telling her "yea, its going to be ok babe" but in my head i was saying "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCCCCCK FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!@#%"
<Skier> heh
<robs> psx: been there done that
<`Nemesis> they call "I'm pregnant, call me!" and then you fedex them a coathanger with a note that says "You know what to do.". They generally don't call back after that

#62519 +(333)- [X]

<_bryan_> its a good thing MS isn't in the condom business

#62539 +(278)- [X]

<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send me a picture?
<+Ziphy> :x
<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down there ;)
<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^

#62540 +(301)- [X]

<totalreality> Dail-up has its Pros
<syphonic> Like..?
<totalreality> like when your girlfriend finds out that you slept with another girl so she trys to call your house to find out whats going on or give you shit
<R^J> couldent she just knock on the front door?
<totalreality> Shit! Brb
* totalreality is away: locking the doors

#62543 +(507)- [X]

<ruca> my dads work pays for my cable modem so my mom always says "ERIN! dont look at porn cause dads work will get in trouble"
<ruca> im like wtf woman you cant even turn my computer on. dont school me you ho
<ruca> she REALLY believes my dads boss is gonna go up to him and be like "kevin, we found out your 20 year old daughter looked at ron jeremys nads last night. explain yourself!"

#62546 +(59)- [X]

<crazythunder> does crucial seel virtual memory?

#62557 +(268)- [X]

<LayMon> PH33r me
<LayMon> woot
<LayMon> i am pheered
* LayMon (c6c2@ Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad

#62558 +(243)- [X]

<AaronAFK> Anyone Active?
<SenorWeir> i am
<Spoon35> I think he meant sexually.

#62578 +(56)- [X]

<Spud> Man, watching Fear Factor earlier.  Two Hot Chicks + Horse Rectum Eating Contest = TurnOn++
<rzrshrp> *barf
<Spud> Synthetic horse rectum, of course, but still...

#62596 +(382)- [X]

<joey-sleepin-workin> at work i got a email asking if the mail server was down
<joey-sleepin-workin> wtf am i sposed to reply to that? :P

#62600 +(147)- [X]

<rottle> i am going to write a program that clears the window clipboard about 15 seconds after you set it. because pasting large chunks of incriminating text into irc sucks.... not only are you laughed at but also kick/banned

#62608 +(208)- [X]

Rangsk: why does everyone spell it "grammar"
Rangsk: fuck

#62622 +(868)- [X]

<KBC> "Welcome to America. You can easily find someone to shoot you to put you out of your misery by screaming NIGGER anywhere if you're white"
<Goonigoogoo > and if you're black?
<KBC> scream out "I'M BLACK!" and some police will shoot you

#62632 +(954)- [X]

<prence> oh fuck oh fuck man
<prence> my mom got this new canon digital camera today and they are asleep so i took a picture of my cock and i can't figure out how to delete it
<prence> fuck what the hell do i do?!

#62645 +(959)- [X]

<Killrbyte> !googlepop "anal sex";"oral sex"
<migas> - "anal sex" is more popular than "oral sex" (2220000>1360000
<Video`> NO WAY
<Killrbyte> Video`: Exactly.

#62659 +(183)- [X]

<Akinaga> I skipped my wedding to play Tribes
<Akinaga> comeon, it was a match for the #2 spot
<apollyon> at that point you really need to rethink why you're alive
<merc> or just dump the bitch =)

#62681 +(167)- [X]

<dizzyg> Sinbad + hamster + KY jelly == happy
<RubberDuck> the thing about hamsters is that the ky sticks to the hair and to get them clean afterwards is a beech
<RubberDuck> or so i've been told

#62682 +(146)- [X]

beachbub hi
beachbub does anyone know if u can turn any image into a html code?
BoB_JonEz no u cant
BoB_JonEz well you could i suppose
BoB_JonEz if you made a table of 1x1 cells and set each colour individually
beachbub lol i have no idea wot dat means but thanx anyway
beachbub thanx 4 da help bye

#62685 +(481)- [X]

<puppydo> what speed do you burn svcd at?...is 48X ok?
<_super_> 12
<_super_> never 48
<_super_> no
<_super_> never go that fast fools
<_super_> think of the reader
<_super_> give it a break
<_super_> why stress the dvd player
<_super_> trying to read at 48x
<_super_> stupid
<_super_> just slow that shit down
<_super_> just because a burner is fast is no reason to go that fast
<_super_> it isnt that fast anyway only on the edges
<_super_> so cd has all kinds of speed on it
<_super_> fluctuates
<_super_> too mnuch
<ciscosyko> wait a minute..are u telling them if they write the cd fast the dvd has to read it at that speed?
<_super_> yes
* ciscosyko stares at super for a minute and wanders off

#62695 +(252)- [X]

<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common?
<HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in

#62705 +(209)- [X]

<toe2toe> the part i like is where IRAQ's going "we got nothing"
<toe2toe> and US is going "PFFFT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT"
<toe2toe> and then
<toe2toe> North Koreas going "CHECK OUT OUR NUKES, BUDDY"
<toe2toe> and US is going "Hey... are you iraq? no? THEN STAY OUT OF IT"

#62707 +(227)- [X]

* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.

#62749 +(277)- [X]

<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit.
<fluffy> ....
<Massive_Potato> ...what the hell
<MishimaYukio>  Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers.
<fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years
<DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio

#62770 +(297)- [X]

<|SoliD|> dude, i think i'm gay
<The_Loserkid> WTF ?
<The_Loserkid> plz don't tell me how you found that out
<|SoliD|> i downloaded some gay porn just for fun
<|SoliD|> i put it on for a minute or two, just to check it out
<|SoliD|> suddenly i get a boner
<The_Loserkid> i hate you :'(

#62781 +(39)- [X]

*** malapropy is now known as cd-german
<_mrT> ls pr0n
<Craig> lol

#62789 +(204)- [X]

<Charles> I've got mock exams network
<Charles> oops .... *next week
<Neil> now theres an example of someone who spends too much damn time on the computer.

#62790 +(101)- [X]

<FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space heater on.
<FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn.
<nitrifik_> neat
<nitrifik_> eat them
<FlipTopBx> heh.  that would be the obvious thing to do.  i'm not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.

#62798 +(1076)- [X]

<looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help
<looooly> ?
<voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can read your mind.
<looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ???
<voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties understanding sarcasm.

#62799 +(496)- [X]

<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross physical deformity
<Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either
<Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are well on their way
<Al> Gudrow: good point

#62810 +(292)- [X]

<Kcred1176> you have to be circumcised to their magazine
<cmn22> ?????
<jrock81> easy killer
<Mooky13> what?
<Kcred1176> subscribed
<Kcred1176> sorry

#62814 +(1344)- [X]

<Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.

#62842 +(312)- [X]

<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?

#62847 +(118)- [X]

<Muzzle79> i'm so poor that we make the koolaid with water, then steal a bunch of sugar packets from restraunts so that we can add sugar to each glass...
<Astanix> lol
<Astanix> awesome
* Muzzle79 is serious.. i've done it before..
<Muzzle79> lol
<Jerki1989> im so poor i cant even afford to go to the restraunt to steal sugar....
<Muzzle79> by restraunts i mean
<Muzzle79> arbys

#62851 +(36)- [X]

<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than

#62874 +(604)- [X]

<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::... ..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::

#62877 +(1539)- [X]

<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said "COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me"
<Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing
<APE_> is she hot?
<Dilbert> yes
<Dilbert> my sister is very hot
<Chris_Walken> ....................
<ragnarok2040> ............
<ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org
<Dilbert> why?

#62882 +(938)- [X]

<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink
<@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor
<+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy

#62886 +(685)- [X]

·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .-- .... --- .-. . ...
·cronO· morse code?
·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -. -.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. -
·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ... --..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. .
·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse code

#62899 +(41)- [X]

*** You were kicked by Carrot_Top (1 800 c-a-ll att)

#62902 +(332)- [X]

<MaNiAk> damnit
<MaNiAk> damnit damnit
<MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit
<Psyko> lol
<Psyko> what kinda porn?
<MaNiAk> not even porn
<Andaru> German Scheisse
<MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk
<MaNiAk> yea
<MaNiAk> its lolita porn
* Psyko pretends he's not interested
<Psyko> ew lolita porn
<haylo> Thats horrible.
* haylo clicks
* Psyko clicks as well

#62907 +(109)- [X]

<MoeFugger> shit, when i go back to my high school, i feel like r kelly at the playground
<PhD> are you sure thats not the elementry school you frequent?
<MoeFugger> :|

#62922 +(264)- [X]

<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist

#62981 +(699)- [X]

<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
<DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella
<open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.

#62988 +(1758)- [X]

<RushMore> fuck yuo
<RushMore> fuck yuo
<RushMore> fuc kyou
<Diablo1399> okay rushmore, you've tried to say "fuck you" 3 times now
and you still can't get it
<RushMore> twice
<RushMore> the seconds was a repeat of the first
<Diablo1399> whatever, you're still retarded
<RushMore> fukc you

#63048 +(3236)- [X]

<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...

#63049 +(256)- [X]

* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind
<moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
<moktod> brb
* moktod hides under desk

#63054 +(204)- [X]

* kurt[A] is now known as kurt
* kurt was away, and is back from: life
<Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?

#63064 +(128)- [X]

< Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that ruined your life.
< Scribble> ...
< Scribble> Ask any married guy.

#63067 +(182)- [X]

<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack it
<@ketsugi|scanning> like marker pens?
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> CD-R drives
<@ketsugi|scanning> close enough

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