#59749 +(183)- [X]
<jgaddis> boolean: I just got outta prison last Monday.
<boolean> jgaddis: how many people in jail use linux?
#59757 +(-82)- [X]
<sKratch> you know what? if we could choose our nationality at birth, there would be no canada
<sKratch> or it would just be a country full of morons
<sKratch> oh wait...
#59763 +(22)- [X]
<Nark> flash2 is the easiest shit to learn next to wanking off to Pamela Anderson
#59788 +(300)- [X]
<+sysys> i could tell you if WINDOWS FUCKING ME didn't crash
<+sysys> WINDOWS ME
<+sysys> that didnt come out right
#59803 +(254)- [X]
<Hemlock> cloning one's pet doesn't seem that costly
<Hemlock> i am seriously considering doing this
<Compute> hem: you can't clone rocks, dumbass
#59830 +(-51)- [X]
<DislocatedStyle8> *God attacks True_Yoshi dealing .0000000000000000001 damage*
#59834 +(170)- [X]
<@DarkHoly> you live in canadian future, that's like, wright brothers just invented airplane
#59839 +(326)- [X]
<Volt9000> My friend asked me to be in his movie
<Volt9000> I think Im gonna do it
<Volt9000> I must admit my acting skills aren't the greatest
<Volt9000> But I do have SOME acting experience
<tsingtao> <Volt9000> I've managed to convince my whole school that I'm straight!
#59847 +(235)- [X]
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.
#59863 +(275)- [X]
<phrenzy> i went to laser force yesterday all that cs made me really good
<a3LegdCat> so you camped like a mofo?
#59874 +(463)- [X]
* dazalyn *wisks* off her bra... aaaahhhhh freedom
<nymph`grl> daz: Hehehe. This is why I love tank-tops with the shelf bra.
<dazalyn> my boobs are too big for the shelf bra to actually work...
<dazalyn> i wear them anyway
<nymph`grl> same here, lol
<Wildcard`> too much information
<nymph`grl> on a DDD it's really hard to keep them in check in those things. :)
<shayden> too much information?
<shayden> not enough visuals
#59880 +(17)- [X]
<fetman> when I read the quotes on bash.org I feel that I too wan't to be as stupid as they are and make such stupid comments and make everyone laugh
<fetman> How do I become as stupid as they are?
<tfg> There are two steps, as follows:
<tfg> 1) Bang your head repeatedly on the wall until you pass out
<tfg> 2) Repeat step 1 until you get that stupid idea that you can actually be funny out of your head
#59894 +(269)- [X]
<tamrfc> HOW DO YOU CHANGE A .ZIP FILE TO .EXE I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR ABOUT 40 MINS NOW.
#59896 +(15)- [X]
<Nvrmr> were gonna have stalkers
<Nvrmr> gonna have turks knocking on our door asking how to use FlashFXP
#59907 +(482)- [X]
«Edgar_the_Fish» i sat and watched 3 male hamsters gang bang a female hamster for about an hour at a pet store
#59927 +(19)- [X]
<KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
<Flaming_Duck> oh god
<Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
<Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
<KeeperX> yes, that is gay
<KeeperX> external CDROM
#59967 +(944)- [X]
<stormo> im watching the best movie atm..
<Aurian> why is it so good??
<stormo> any film where a clown fingerfucks a nun has got to be good
<Aurian> okay, i now consider myself lucky for not watching it
<Aurian> isn't it meant to be about ninjas???
<stormo> now they're having actual sex
<stormo> the nun is a ninja in disguise
<Aurian> and who's the clown?
<stormo> another ninja
<stormo> look, i'm not watching this film for it's complex and involved plot
#59970 +(0)- [X]
<SithAdmin> * Now talking in #rape.support
<SithAdmin> * Retrieving #rape info...
<SithAdmin> * SithAdmin changes topic to 'You were all begging for it!'
<SithAdmin> * You were kicked from #rape.support by RSBot (banned!)
#59995 +(252)- [X]
<comet_11> can't you just see someone using quake to learn how to kill?
<comet_11> "...So then I ran up to him with my rocket launcher, even though I couldn't find the quad damage anywhere. He turned and I swear he was going to fire a slime ball at me. I tried to strafe, but someone must have set my mouse/keyboard combo up wrong and I turned backwards and fell over."
#60012 +(46)- [X]
<zamros> THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING MY OWN COMPUTER IS THAT I CAN JIZZ ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD AND NOT FEEL GUILTY THAT MY FAMILY IS GOING TO TYPE ON IT
#60025 +(1114)- [X]
<WTM2K> i accidentally turned on auto-catch, and everytime someone says a url it pops up in explorer
<|Cheez|> sorry about this but www.goatse.cx
<WTM2K> i hate you all
#60049 +(142)- [X]
<DooD> and for the record i worship kim -_-
<``Erik> kim? one of my playtoys is named kim
<DooD> you name your blowup dolls?
#60053 +(580)- [X]
<seph2k> The idea of old people getting it on makes me SICK *BARF*. MANDATORY CASTRATION AFTER THE AGE 60. Man I hate people.
<toad-> I agree with seph2k
<toad-> I think old people should be killed at birth
#60061 +(-8)- [X]
<FlaVouR> if http was cooler it would be YO!/SUP!
#60066 +(293)- [X]
<polyWog> my welfare sim family keeps having babies
<polyWog> how true to life
#60092 +(149)- [X]
<KaRn> so if i made a million $ american and moved to canada.....i'd be richer?
#60103 +(314)- [X]
<xNichG> 'when nuclear weapons... attack.'
<xNichG> next on fox
#60105 +(324)- [X]
«[LoKiX] » jesus IIS takes FOREVER to install
« vip_ib » What is Jesus II? is it a roleplayin game?
« vip_ib » FPS?
#60108 +(95)- [X]
<@Scarecr0w> Guest67082, we are the performers of a new play called " You are a fuck-wit"... wanna join?
#60112 +(89)- [X]
<@widea`way> if i wanted the CIA to track me, id buy a cell phone too
#60113 +(789)- [X]
<Bleepy> hmm this isn't good... not good atall
<Bleepy> i have an auto responder to my emails, and so does my friend i emailed, and umm it kept boucning, and now i have 17041 emails (16000 of which cannot be displayed)
<Daishi> that waas you!?!
#60114 +(548)- [X]
<KBC> brb, i think i heard a girl say "desperate" about 3 miles away
#60115 +(535)- [X]
<+Rustblade> I'm so angry!!
<+Rustblade> fucking computer
<+Rustblade> I'm gonna kick it
* +Rustblade kicks his computer *
Quits: Rustblade (email@example.com) (Remote host closed the connection)
#60119 +(629)- [X]
<Zaboomafoo`> aw shit someone help me!
<Zaboomafoo`> I happened to mention bukakke and my mom wondered what it was
<Zaboomafoo`> Im afraid shes gonna like, ask some of her japanese friends what it is and then find out!
<saijinsux> what did you tell her it was?
<Zaboomafoo`> a japanese food ;_;
#60120 +(115)- [X]
<Blinxuh> I can't order any of this shit because of these damn economy fluctuations
<Spudnewt> fluctuations? fluck chu asians?
<Spudnewt> well, fuck you too, americans
#60124 +(225)- [X]
<froggie> short lines are bad, mmmkay? please add to your short lines, to make them long. like this, y'see? long lines, good. short lines bad. pretty simple. I'm goint to beat you, acidblood. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THE BEACHES!
<froggie> actually, I'll play volleyball with you on the beaches
<froggie> I'll fight you online on IRC and DoD maybe one day. but either way, I'll fight you in a verbose and extended mannor so that I may be one step closer to that almighty long winning line! haha! madman? ME? of course, thankyou.
<acidblood> Does this count as a long line?
#60125 +(196)- [X]
<Lookn4Poon> i'm in big trouble
*** thekhan_b has joined #d2jsp
<Lookn4Poon> i'm pretty sure the doctor is gonna finger my ass tomorrow morning
<Lookn4Poon> i'm trying to hold in the poop so he can get his finger dirty
#60133 +(-61)- [X]
<wob> I WANT TO CRUCIFY JESUS AND THEN PULL HIS EYEBALLS OUT SO I CAN SKULLLLLLLFUCCCKKKK HIM. ALSO DAD WOULDN'T LEND ME THE KEYS TO THE CAR SATAN WILL DEVOUR HIM.
<wob> i should really be in the music biz
#60134 +(10)- [X]
<@Vexer`> we went out last night to mcdonalds then to a movie with some muslims :P.. i was lookin' for you to see if oyu wanted to come
<@elf> like i would want to go to a movie with muslims
<@elf> you guys played rock-scissors-paper to see who got to drive the explosive-loaded car into the theatre, didnt you
#60137 +(972)- [X]
<Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
<Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
<ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
<ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
<ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
<ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
<Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
<ravuya> more or less
#60139 +(152)- [X]
<True_Hitoare> Yeah, it's amazing this abacus gets internet access... :p
#60140 +(501)- [X]
<DeeCee> they made white chocolate so little black kids could get messy too
#60143 +(567)- [X]
<SJr> ped did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mook did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mojo did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Liam did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<Mook> no I didn't know that
<Mook> happy kiloweek
#60151 +(148)- [X]
<DooD> why is it that it's always the biggest, ugliest, burliest men that get gender reassignment surgery?
<DooD> i could see getting surgery if you're like, 5 foot 3 and look kinda like a girl...
<DooD> but all these 6'4" 250 pound men with stubble and a voice deeper than james earl jones going "i feel like a woman trapped in a man's body" ...
<suzu> if you're already feminine cute looking
<suzu> you wouldn't need the surgery
<DooD> suzu: sure you would
<DooD> get rid of the optional material
<suzu> no way
<suzu> cuz the pretty feminine ones
<suzu> would think "i'm so fucking sexy"
<DooD> would think "im so fucking sexy it's ok to have a penis" ?
#60155 +(145)- [X]
<Spazz> I saw the sign
<Spazz> and it openned up my eyes
<Spazz> I saw the sign
<[IX]Korup> i saw your mom, and it openned up my eyes, i saw your mom. talk about scary. big fat and hairy.
<[IX]Korup> i remember saying that to my brother back in the day
#60158 +(17)- [X]
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> <Harm> anyone have an example ipfilter config they're willing to share?
<Hat> <[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> how do I save a linux file again
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> lol fuck you
#60165 +(420)- [X]
<Poo> Imagine my surprise when Jim said the Hamtaro girl was hot and I was weirded out cause she was a 5th grade girl
<Poo> Then I found out he was talking about the hamster
#60174 +(23)- [X]
<Torey>Lets have a party for people over 500 lbs, and then laugh at all of the fat asses that show up
<Icedpyre> I don’t think that the supports in my house would hold that, we could do it outside though
<Icedpyre> and pretend that we are running a pig farm
<Icedpyre>oh man….you and I are going to hell
<Torey> no dude, I read the bible there is nothing in there that states “THOU SHALL NOT MAKE FUN OF FAT PEOPLE WHO SHIT ON THEMSELVES”
<Icedpyre> phew, I guess your right
#60181 +(289)- [X]
<Suave|Away> Oh, and don't DnD tonight.
<cow> no way
<Suave|Away> Either Dungeons and Dragons, or Drink n Drive
<Suave|Away> Either way, you're a bloody idiot
#60182 +(262)- [X]
<Caveman> fuck...father in law had company this past weekend...including his friends like 17 or 18 year old daughter
<Caveman> and da bitch didnt even use the bathroom with the hidden cam