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#58247 +(424)- [X]

<Turnspike> Wouldn't it be cool if they had implants with goldfish in them

#58297 +(211)- [X]

<Sock_Monkee> yeah, i came out of the closet today....i went in looking for my jacket but all that was there was a  bunch of queers

#58301 +(152)- [X]

<Oreo_Boy> Wal-Mart = microsoft with groceries

#58316 +(394)- [X]

<Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
<Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
<Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!

#58319 +(1315)- [X]

<patti11_> anyone wanna talk to a f/10???
<Desantnik> patti11_: Of course you're one of those 10 year olds that goes to Columbia university
*** patti11_ (Ender_@sidious.cs.columbia.edu) has left #Kids

#58392 +(-35)- [X]

<{fedom}> Dude, I am MCSE and A+, but I dont act lame like you!
<{fedom}> I am MCSE, A+, CIW, Oracle DBA......I am sitting here
on a dual p-Xeon 2.8Ghz, 10GB RAM, 1TB 15,000RPM ultra160 SCSI RAID HD;
give a fucking break kid, I make more money than you ever will.

#58417 +(263)- [X]

Ryan : political correctness has gone too far! in the card store i went to, the category for christmas  was labelled "Wednesday, December 25"

#58421 +(194)- [X]

<cornbread> The last time I got an SMS from a chick, it said 'i h8 u fgt.'
<cornbread> I shit you not.

#58422 +(390)- [X]

<Spammy> shit. i just ate my brothers christmas present

#58428 +(-19)- [X]

<HitlerYouth88> all i want is a white girl for xmas :(

#58441 +(178)- [X]

<Jeph> Anyone have a dedicated server, my host is going out of business, and we were buds so I wasn't paying anything, and can't right now... heh?
<sbrain> maybe thats why they were going out of business

#58443 +(407)- [X]

* SilverH|Work is now known as SilverHorse
<SilverHorse> OMFG
<SilverHorse> I mean jesus
<SilverHorse> you could hear the splash across the house
<SilverHorse> it literally covered the entire surface area of my ass
<SilverHorse> japanese people died when I let it go

#58447 +(84)- [X]

<threeve> woohoo moms password is still same as last month

#58449 +(88)- [X]

* DrZaius sets mode: +b *.*!*@*
<DrZaius> lmao
<sneve> haha
<Air|THPS2> doc
<Air|THPS2> why *.*!?
<DrZaius> i've been using dos a lot lately
<DrZaius> and wasn't thinking
* DrZaius sets mode: -b *.*!*@*

#58450 +(269)- [X]

<+ [Frost2] > fuck theres something in my eye
<psychicbug> frost got a cumshot in the eye
<psychicbug> ...again
<@ [ArtForz]> he prolly saw it cumming
<psychicbug> hahaha
<+ [Frost2] > you guys are sick k thx

#58454 +(139)- [X]

<Mosqui^> but don't diss clothes
<Mosqui^> clothes rule
<Mosqui^> i love clothes
<Mosqui^> and i love shopping for clothes
<Mosqui^> .....god i'm a woman

#58455 +(823)- [X]

<Matto20V> get lost
<uneekwahn> I can't
<uneekwahn> I have a map
* Matto20V points at his asshole
* uneekwahn opens his map for "the grand canyon"

#58471 +(210)- [X]

<Kaitlin> Holy shit my chair just broke right out from under me... I was just sitting here and next thing I know I'm on the ground and the keyboard tray has fallen down on top of me
<Kaitlin> I'm not a fatass, I swear!!!! *inno*
<Shala> i was refraining from that comment, tubby

#58473 +(200)- [X]

<voidnull> Computers destroyed my life. Today when my mum told me to get up, I asked her for the password.

#58482 +(-69)- [X]

*** m0ndi changes topic to '[01:08] <Lottiepie> now i don't have pussy anymore [01:10] <m0ndi> u left it at your ex bf's place that he can have some fun with [01:10] <Lottiepie> yep  :)'
<m0ndi> i guess thats enuff
<Lottiepie> the topic is too big
<mensab> nothings too big as long as is all goes in
<mensab> errrm... that could go into bash :P

#58490 +(42)- [X]

<cronwrk> this is a really stupid question.. but anyway.. what drivers should you use with microsoft wheelman mouse.. will logitech drivers work?

#58491 +(219)- [X]

joerodZ3: ppl should chase their dreams
joerodZ3: it's the route to happiness
RGarza983: and jailtime

#58495 +(16)- [X]

<robg> Fuck. My room is still on fire.
<robg> It's a small electrical one, though.
<robg> My moms trying to take care of it.
<NonToxic> robg then GET OFF IRC!!

#58505 +(437)- [X]

<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB

#58507 +(407)- [X]

<LeX|NgToN> i got a blister on the inside of my hand =/
<Vagabonde> haha, from wacking off?

#58520 +(193)- [X]

* Mr`Anders is now known as MrAndersn
<TreOptik> mrandersn sounds like a pedophile biochemestry teacher
<_spirit_> hmm mr anderson... that reminds me of highschool
<TreOptik> i said something like that too ..

#58524 +(561)- [X]

<MightyBlueJustice> If Jesus would've been shot to death instead of crucified would christians wear jewelry with firearms on it?
<K-Necrocide> It kinda makes you wish he was assraped to death with a big black cock.

#58527 +(513)- [X]

<Sirex> i should set the ping reply as a negative number
<Sirex> and tell people i'm from the future

#58531 +(513)- [X]

<fiddler> how do u ppl say either, like i-ther or like e-ther?
<jnss> i don't say either

#58532 +(1440)- [X]

<wangschlong> So i was walking by some house
<wangschlong> and some hot girl was staring at me from the house
<wangschlong> so i go closer and shes still staring at me
<wangschlong> it turns out
<wangschlong> IT WAS A FUCKING LAMP

#58544 +(117)- [X]

<_apostle_> yea but all the really fun stuff costs more money
<_apostle_> and you need to find the right kid of hooker
<Monk_Grav> The right kid of hooker?
<Monk_Grav> I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
<_apostle_> *kind

#58547 +(331)- [X]

<crunchyfish> It's easier to talk to girls if you find little ways to surprise them.
<crunchyfish> Like punching them in their fucking whore face in a dark parking lot.

#58548 +(87)- [X]

<Kevyn> I think I'm going to buy one of those LCD screens and snap it onto my girlfriend instead of my Gamecube.
<Kevyn> So I can play Monkey Ball and fuck her in the ass at the same time.

#58591 +(295)- [X]

*this took place on December 26th

[00:01] <chewy> </christmas>
[00:02] <berger> haha

#58600 +(205)- [X]

<Meshugga> sleep is supposed to be done between 6 am and 2 pm
<octane> whats this sleep thingie anyways?
<octane> is it something real or yet another urban legend?
<Meshugga> sleep, neut., The thing which makes all your boxen idle
<octane> thats called `power outage' here.

#58603 +(388)- [X]

<jihad> i need crack
<craz> www.gamecopyworld.com
<jihad> not this fuckin software, the drug

#58610 +(132)- [X]

<rover> I took my Ventolin puffer, and puffed it onto this cockroach that was still
<rover> it died

#58619 +(332)- [X]

<Bal> saw lotr2
<biff|JK2> u like Bal?
<Bal> when legolas calls out to gimli at the begining, i was expecting him to say 'come on silent bob'
<Lun> LOL

#58620 +(967)- [X]

<Arcturus|BuF> The Sims is the only game where you can kill someone by trapping them between strategically placed toilets

#58625 +(286)- [X]

<[Knob]> IM NOT COLORBLIND, thanks to this test: http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabotage/vision_sabotage.asp
<rTenshi> I WISH I WERE BLIND, thanks to this page: http://www.goatse.cx

#58627 +(312)- [X]

(@RyJones) new laptop?
(lukehop^) No, it's my old one, just gradually turning it into a cow
(@RyJones) yeah my exwife did that

#58630 +(16)- [X]

<bi0cide> this is rad
<bi0cide> its erotic magnetic poetry
<bi0cide> im getting off just reading the words
<bi0cide> errr
<bi0cide> :|

#58633 +(294)- [X]

< back2u> yeah ... somme ppl r just born loosers like urslef ...
< pairo> Hey, at least I can spell loser.
< back2u> heh.
< pairo> Not to mention "people", "are" and "yourself".
< back2u> good for you ...
< pairo> Oh, and "some".
< back2u> the caybord is not a good one :P

#58636 +(455)- [X]

<[_tOz_]> people saying internet is full of childporn is so full of bullshit...i cant find a single picture

#58639 +(17)- [X]

<T`karthon> This is my hard drive assnip, I just don't like having 10 gigs of mp3s slowing my shit down
<Spleen_work> you are a stupid fuck

#58677 +(234)- [X]

<Miz> why does windows messager not close? :E
<Miz> there isnt anything using it!
<Cheez> hotmail?
<Miz> not visible anyway
<Miz> nope
<Miz> no windows open 'cept this
<Cheez> try killing the process
* Miz has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<Cheez> wrong process...

#58683 +(166)- [X]

<@bmann> once it gets warmer im getting a fucking job
<@rambopfc> just get a snowblower, u could get a blow job

#58690 +(169)- [X]

(hydroponik): lol my penis is naked and its 10 inches long :]
(cursor): hydroponik: objects in mirror are nine inches bigger than they areally are

#58692 +(44)- [X]

<silk|around> whats that site where you put a name in and it says your a homo or somthing
<silk|around> ahh got one
<silk|around> nn all

#58715 +(745)- [X]

<gatewatcher> heh, last year, when my parrents made me goto ccd, i had to sit through a pro-life presentation. after, the guy asked my friend if he was pro-life. my friend goes yes, of course i am, i'm catholic. the guy goes, that's good. then my friend goes, yeah, i mean you can't eat babies unless they're born... the guy was clearly horrified.

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