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#56714 +(138)- [X]

<Verlaine> That Walmart commercial where they say they are giving free shopping sprees to needy kids and the lady starts to cry at the end is making me nauseous.
<Verlaine> I need someone to share in my outrage.
<kalista> you could turn off the tv
<kalista> that way you never have to see that commercial again.
<Verlaine> But then I would never know what stores not to shop at.

#56719 +(104)- [X]

<blitzoid> My ma got me a copy of PC Gamer'
<blitzoid> I was like "Did you save the receipt?"
<Jarky> haha why?
<ChaosMage> Parents think gamers like those gay gaming mags
<ChaosMage> Makes you wonder who the hell reads 'em
<d0gZpAw> i used to like PC Gamer.. when i was on dialup.. because it was a pain in the ass downloading demos to see whether a full release is worth 2 days of leech
<blitzoid> "HOW TO MANIPULATE THE CAMERA TO LOOK AT LARA'S ASS! PLUS: OTHER DIGITAL BOOBS." - Sample from PC Gamer

#56722 +(329)- [X]

<Pepe> I need to know if college consists of a lot of fucking, or is that just in movies and is it like, masturbation all the time? This decides whether I buy fifty boxes of condoms, or fifty boxes of Kleenex.

#56723 +(214)- [X]

<_absent> Dilbert: why dont you tell everyone about the time you overdosed on shrooms, and the cops found you in a field covered in your own feces shaking a hand in the air and claiming the federal government was planning to take your life

#56725 +(363)- [X]

<Wegs> I can get my 2Kb/sec, so it must be working
<Gothmog> wow 2K a second!!!
<Gothmog> i got better than that on our old 33.6 :/
<Wegs> yeah...
<Wegs> I am connected at 26.4
<Wegs> so blow me
<Gothmog> lol
<Gothmog> at those speeds, i could start blowing you now and you wont feel it unil saturday :P

#56730 +(92)- [X]

<VonFluf08> crb - cheap digicam $500
<crb> Yeah, but id' want better
<VonFluf08> average digicam $800
<VonFluf08> good digi cam $2000
<VonFluf08> holiday porn - priceless

#56734 +(225)- [X]

<Kitsa> I had a frightening moment today
<Kitsa> I looked at a piece of sheet music and realized I couldn't tell what key it was in
<Kitsa> :/
<Kitsa> "This quality music degree from a prestigious university can be your child's for the low low price of $35,000"

#56748 +(177)- [X]

<TonicBH> [Tonic Hedgehog's mIRC Software] - [Windows XP Uptime: 2wks 1day 19hrs 43mins 24secs] - [mIRC v6.02 Uptime: 4days 11hrs 31mins 40secs]
<TonicBH> O_O
<TonicBH> 15 days ;/
<TonicBH> ph33r :/
<Sep> wtf
<Sep> turn your damn computer off

#56749 +(361)- [X]

Jersey Seven: 2DAY IS NATIONAL PRESENTS DAY!!~! SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 30 OTHER PPL AND YOU WILL RECIEVE MANY PRESENTS FOR XMAS AND UR TRUE LOVE WILL FINALLY START TO LIKE U!!!~
U ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES SO U BETTER HURY!!!~
Chant320: Hey. Tomorrow is national shut the fuck up with the stupid chain letters day. It never hurts to get a head start.

#56752 +(273)- [X]

<DildoDaggins> isn't this a great hobbit porno name?

#56757 +(244)- [X]

-!- [lsd] has quit [Remote closed the connection]
-!- [lsd] has joined #lgl
<[lsd]> hehe
<[lsd]> i love it when you change the time on your box
<[lsd]> and xchat thinks "shit, i haven't seen a ping for 20 mins"

#56758 +(241)- [X]

<JMG> I went water skiing
<JMG> and It turns out that I scream the same way that i would if a great white shark were about to attack me
<JMG> If seaweed touches my foot
<JMG> Theres a moment I want back

#56762 +(315)- [X]

<CursedBurger> i hate it when i'm watching some good porn and the entire clip's ruined because one of the guys has a mullet

#56767 +(155)- [X]

<bob[notn00bsoft]> i can make better games then you. i just need help with the engine and graphics and stuff
<Sarthek> So you're better than us at making games...
<Tempyst> So in otherwords you need us to do everything for you, and then you take credit.
<Tempyst> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, MISTAR

#56773 +(263)- [X]

<Kamz-History-X> where do bad folks go when they die?
<Lid> into politics.

#56775 +(233)- [X]

<GladX> do people still wear the farmer johns type ski pants?
<kickingdog> yeah...they sell those.  north face has gore tex ones
* GladX hates those
<GladX> gotta fidget for 15 minutes just to take a piss
<kickingdog> north face ones are the shizzle fo sheezy
<GladX> babelfish is having troubles translating what you just said to english

#56776 +(167)- [X]

<pneumatic> i look out one window and it's sunny and nice.. the other windows.. grey, gloomy.
<autistk> other windows = windows 2000?

#56778 +(493)- [X]

<CrackyMcZap> I'm pathetic.
<Chriso> Cracky: I'm a 17 year old pimply FAT bastard living with his parents while in college who has no money, a 3.0 gpa which means it goes up .5 next semester or ELSE i lose my scholarships, i cant buy my own smokes, i cant legally look at porn, I cant drink cuz of my medicine, i have a university-issued restraining order preventing me from entering the dorms at school, and to top it off, I'm bi but i dont like it up the ass. So yeah. Who's pathetic?

#56782 +(488)- [X]

<Hat> I'm the king of giving girls oral sex.  Ask my girlfriends.
<Jeokitty> You're so good at all that, Mark, how good is she?
<Hat> She fucking sucks dick.
<Hat> Err
<Hat> I meant that in a bad way.  Like, she sucks dick...  poorly.

#56784 +(1543)- [X]

<Rigel> KingKashue ur pc is not as 1337 as my i have a 122 gighz pinteum 4 pc w/ 5 617 gigbyte hds and a cd-wr-rwr-drwxr-xr-x 3-way burning/dvd/vcd/mp3 playing drive and a 37 gigehurz L7 cacheeeee a 58 inch flat moniter w/ 2134x5654 resolushun and teh best part is my 400 gbps cabul capped to 1 kbps connecsion wich routes thru severel dedicatud OC-255 powered masheens wich are on T460 redirectors
<KingKashue> riiiiight...But can your's do this?
*** Rigel was kicked by KingKashue (to prove I can)
*** Joins: Rigel
<Rigel> Nope.

#56785 +(568)- [X]

<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> : (
<cabbage> your nose fell off

#56790 +(139)- [X]

<St_Zartan> all my scenes were deleted from "8 mile"
<St_Zartan> apparently training for the paralympics isn't "street" enough for them, the bastards

#56798 +(926)- [X]

(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool

#56800 +(14)- [X]

* THEJRC checks out the softer side of sears.....
<Christina> lol you fag

#56808 +(148)- [X]

<SJr|Tecra> Someone say something to take my mind off the pain.
<wizer> just pleasure your self you will feel better
* wizer brb
<arrow|> probably going to take his own advice

#56809 +(219)- [X]

<Steempy> Merc: Got any amusing tales of retail stupidity?
<Mercster> hmmm.......this isn't a good email address:
<Mercster> "Lubeking@aol.com"
<Steempy> Could be a Korean guy called Lu Bek Ing

#56813 +(179)- [X]

<ame> get on it
<ame> jungle bugie
<ame> dielsuo dielsuo
<ame> jungle boogie huhuhah wha hwo
<ame> (i used to be the lead singer for the local super market PA system)

#56826 +(140)- [X]

<Polaris> is my phone number on whois?
<Fina> Yes
<Fina> *picks up phone*
<Fina> *dials slowly*
<Polaris> I would know it was you.
<Polaris> Unfrotunently my caller ID is broken.
<Fina> ...my elves did their job well...

#56828 +(232)- [X]

<Jarp> No porn break. i actually have no more porn on this computer
<Jarp> just the other day, i moved all 8,000ish pictures to the other computer and organized 'em
<Sisgmund> lordy!
<Sisgmund> how much space does that take up?
<Jarp> about 600mb
<Sisgmund> crimminy
<Jarp> i forget exactly how many
<shavenwookiee> wow
<Jarp> Hrm. I don't have a very broad colllection. that 8,000 is of maybe 20 girls.
<Jarp> don't have any particular favorite.
<shavenwookiee> 20 girls.. 400 poses each??
<Jarp> hrm
<Jarp> more of some
<Jarp> less of others
<shavenwookiee> so THAT's how you get your porn movies on dialup.
<screevo> ???
<shavenwookiee> you print up a set of one girl, staple them together, and flip the pages :D
<Jarp> it's like a movie, one frame at a time!

#56829 +(753)- [X]

<Moebius> remember when neptune was the farthest planet?
<Moebius> good times

#56831 +(386)- [X]

<mikes_> what does this mean? eth0: Promiscuous mode enabled.
<`> it means your ethernet card wants to party

#56836 +(645)- [X]

<Wohali> girls kissing on cbc
<math> WOOHOO!!!
<math> YAY CANADA!
<Wohali> now there's two boys getting ready to kiss.
<math> oh thats just gay

#56840 +(257)- [X]

( dvast8 ) so if a tattoo gets you friends, what gets you laid?
( jesusprime ) military outfits
( jesusprime ) or a loud car
( dvast8 ) i think your getting laid by the wrong sex

#56849 +(383)- [X]

<clompers> if i could, I'd paint my room a dark gray
<clompers> maybe a #666666
<Azi> you can tell you're a web geek when... 
<Azi> you walk into the home improvement store asking for paint in a shade of #3264AA

#56856 +(198)- [X]

<pann> my brother was working on site and they were waiting for a jap cable delivery dude to drop off some cable, anyways
          he was 20 minutes late and my brothers boss goes to him 'its about time you rice eating mother fucker' and the
          jap guy comes running past 'hey fuck you round eye!'

#56864 +(106)- [X]

<@WrmSlayer> i just peeled off my keyboard glove thingy
<Ironmax^> keyboard glove?
<@WrmSlayer> yeah
<@spidey> you got a conny on your keyboard?
<@WrmSlayer> yeah its like a condom
<@WrmSlayer> stops spooge from leaking down between the keys
<@spidey> it must take away all feel :)

#56865 +(94)- [X]

<SlimSurdy> remind me never to cyber a 16yr old using bitchx under
                     linux with no pvt msg windows
<SlimSurdy> at least not with you fuckers in the #
<Fanboy> hahaha

#56876 +(255)- [X]

<TittySmasher> Do you think if you were having sex with a chick, and had a condom on and lightning struck you, the condom would melt and the chick would shit/piss melted plastic?
<rTenshi> uhh, you'd die man.
<TittySmasher> ... oh

#56879 +(1511)- [X]

<CuZZa> i lived there for a month
<CuZZa> japan is great
<CuZZa> really fucked up, but great
<CuZZa> its weird. me being a 6'4 white guy standing on a train with a bunch of japanese people who are around 5'
<CuZZa> i had a fucking guy dressed as sailor moon looking at me as if I was the weirdo

#56881 +(540)- [X]

<Kuroko> Hey...I need to ask you guys something.
<Kuroko> Sleep or Trigun?
<CrackPr0n-E> masturbation -=X
<CrackPr0n-E> c. masturbation </= that's where it's at
<Kuroko> i'm not male.
<CrackPr0n-E> girls can masturbate too
<SPOONwork> Kuroko: what, women don't masturbate? lies
<CrackPr0n-E> spoon:she's 12
<SPOONwork> CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants: it's not stopping you. :P
<CrackPr0n-E> what does stop me?
<Kuroko> my mum also has a lovely habit of checking on everyone late at night.
* Yukanojo thinks this conversation falls under the category of "Reasons Parents Keep Kids Off the Internet"
<CrackPr0n-E> Kuroko:that's what locks are for
<Kuroko> trigun i can explain. irc i can explain. but...yeah...
<Kuroko> Crack: she has the keys.
<CrackPr0n-E> or "I had an itch... that's all"
<Yukanojo> hahahaha
<CrackPr0n-E> psssh, while she's unlocking the door, pull your panties up
* Smugami wonders what he's stumbled into ... o.O
<CrackPr0n-E> and just sit in a blanket
<Kuroko> ...
* Kuroko will spend the entire night trying to erase this conversation from her memory
<Kuroko> Thanks for helping me decide.

#56885 +(156)- [X]

<Alien8or> I was using a silicon gel to jack off. i had a little accident.
<Alien8or> i was really rushing and then when I cummed i rest for a bit. The silicon dried and where the silicon squished between my fingers are little spieks. I got a spiked cock!
<Alien8or> heh, wait, its spiked Darth Maul style, this owns!

#56890 +(43)- [X]

<pimpybra> christ, my computer is freezing more than a french soldier during wartime.

#56907 +(275)- [X]

<-- FaNt0m_ has quit (Quit: Procrastination is like masturbation; it's all good until you realize you just fucked yourself.)

#56917 +(132)- [X]

* Angelofmoon is now known as studywudyangel
<AngelSakura> there can be only one true angel in here....me! :)
<Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- Listing nicknames matching [*angel*] --
<Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- End of list (88/90 matches shown) --

#56922 +(183)- [X]

<Nike> i went to see LoTR with the flu :P
<Nike> i was almost carried
<AardWolf> I tend to go with females... rather than sexless diseases

#56930 +(42)- [X]

(Regarding a Diablo II game and password)
SchroeDotOrg: naked/asusual
J Jorenko: *joins you*

#56943 +(174)- [X]

<BeZeRK> |NEWS FLASH| ALL K-MART AND WALMART STORES WILL BE CLOSED IN IRAQ. - they will be replaced with Targets!

#56949 +(33)- [X]

[18:04:13] Nick change [ crashloop CrashFOOD ]
---
[23:03:48] Nick change [ CrashFOOD Crashloop ]
[23:03:52] ([Binary]) That's a long lunch.
[23:04:25] [Crashloop] it is important to eat proper. :)

#56978 +(119)- [X]

*** Anatole|ChickFilA is now known as Anatole
<Anatole> I went to the ATM, and I didn't have enough to break $20. So instead of Chick Fil A, I made myself chicken-flavored Ramen. Does this officially make me a college student now?

#56996 +(440)- [X]

<Jackal> If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?


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