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#54474 +(549)- [X]

<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> I've had the internet since I was 9
<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> course back then, when I looked for porn, I'd type "pictures of men and woman having sex"
<rpliving> now u just type in "pictures of men"

#54490 +(288)- [X]

<Rodzilla> -- 12 percent of Brazilian ladies have had sex with animals.
<Santa_Smith> ew those brazilian women have sex with anything
<Tessai|modeling> smith: THERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO GET SOME ;D!!

#54519 +(174)- [X]

(shadow-ohki) I mean Cabbits are very teratoryatal animals. I cant help but dislike you.
(@Arrow) "teratoryatal"
(@Arrow) That is a horrendous bastardization of that word's proper spelling
(@Arrow) territorial
(shadow-ohki) sp what If I cant spell

#54520 +(11)- [X]

<Trestkon> A girl got her tonsels (sp?) out, so we all sign the card, and someone gives it to her, and she's like "..."
<Trestkon> cause she can't talk yet:P

#54531 +(521)- [X]

<HistoryHm> well, i could never date her 
<HistoryHm> three strikes rule 
<HistoryHm> republican 
<HistoryHm> christian 
<unga-work> conscious

#54543 +(1000)- [X]

Tarja: TODAY in auto shop
Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's engine and i insisted no one kill it
Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed him it
Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he checks the oil and stuff
Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok

#54546 +(157)- [X]

<Fogie> not a tivo, just a creative labs tv tuner card with tivo-like functionality
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if i had that card fogie, i would rip the trinity broadcasing network 24/7
<Fogie> what is that, pr0n?
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if televangelists for jesus = pr0n, then yes
<Fogie> to each his own
<Fogie> somewhere in America a man is jerking off to jesus

#54550 +(277)- [X]

<nondesc> All I need's a basic optical mouse.
<nondesc> This Logitech is like $12 street price.
<Livewireo> Strret price? are you buying illegal mice from ugly mexicans on the street corner?

#54552 +(277)- [X]

*** KeeperX (KeeperX@24.120.83.177) has joined channel #idle
   <KeeperX>: ...
   <KeeperX>: Why isn't anyone talking?

#54580 +(195)- [X]

<Gobblin> this guy i know is getting like a microwave connection or something
<Gobblin> sounds pretty 1337x0rz
<avat> "damn you old man with your pacemaker, you are slowing my uploads"

#54582 +(272)- [X]

<Throttle> man, farting in the shower kinda kills that whole clean feeling u get

#54588 +(512)- [X]

<BalkanEmperorGlaug> Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask  you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
<Schroe[Sleepies]> On my first flight ever, the captain came on over the intercom -
<Schroe[Sleepies]> "We aren't really a flight crew ... but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!"
<mike> :P
<mike> i wanna be a pilot
<mike> then i can come over the intercom, "What's this button do...OH FUCKING SHIT!!"
<mike> then after panic ensues, "Just kidding!"
<Glaug-Eldare> "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive."
<Glaug-Eldare> Then you can get fired!
<Glaug-Eldare> =D
<mike> then i can get a job that's on the ground!
<Glaug-Eldare> And throw wrenches at planes' windows while they're taking off?
<mike> i was thinking more along the lines of programming

#54652 +(205)- [X]

<miz> man, you just pushed the geek meter right off the scale with the combined MS bash and LOTR reference

#54715 +(152)- [X]

* +MegamanX2K takes out a freon thrower and freezes Sitara to the core
* +MegamanX2K then raises her body above his head and shatters it
<+MegamanX2K> FATLITY
<+MegamanX2K> err
<+MegamanX2K> FATALITY
<+MegamanX2K> ...damned typos
<Snow_Angel> fatlity?
<Snow_Angel> is that some sort of gamer geek word?
<+MegamanX2K> It's Mortal Kombat, but Scorpion let himself go

#54722 +(1142)- [X]

<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."

#54729 +(351)- [X]

<Jessica> lol my grandpa has gay dogs Lol
<Jessica> he has two big dogs and they are both boys and they were umm lol
<Anthony> I SAW!
<Anthony> that's sick
<Anthony> heh
<Jessica> my day was boring
<Anthony> not that boring if you saw gay dogs! heh
<Jessica> I laughed and told them to get out of me
<Jessica> lol
<Jessica> OOPS
<Jessica> out of my room
<Jessica> not me
<Anthony> hahahahahahahaha

#54742 +(272)- [X]

<kleitin> where are u guys from?
<Hyperbyte> I am from the Netherlands
<kleitin> netherlands is in usa ?

#54757 +(276)- [X]

<TrouT> anyone know what this means:
<TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/RegisterVh3Service'
<+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin/RegisterVh3Service

#54760 +(463)- [X]

<DarkLich> DarkLich had his first homosexual encounter =(
<DarkLich> It was horrid. I'm not 100% straight.
<DarkLich> NOW
<DarkLich> NOW. I said NOW 100% straight.

#54791 +(193)- [X]

<GregMoore> -v raxor
<GregMoore> FUCK
<GregMoore> lol
<GregMoore> -ox raxor
<GregMoore> -o raxor
<GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!

#54793 +(229)- [X]

(rooster): So, are you hard at work
(rooster): or
(rooster): HARD, at work

#54794 +(198)- [X]

<ChuckD> so i got a massive summer sausage today
<ChuckD> what happened
<ChuckD> is i was talking about summer sausage
<ChuckD> and my friend said "i can bring ya summer sausage! i have tons!"
<ChuckD> i thought he was joking
<ChuckD> sure enough, he shows up with a massive summer sausage
<ChuckD> people looked at me funny
<ChuckD> i was carrying around a summer sausage, after all
<Dancer_the_Reindeer> or were you just happy to see them?

#54801 +(10)- [X]

<NIH> Dec 12 1917
<NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen dead.
<NIH> Worst... or best?

#54802 +(233)- [X]

<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen
<Frostlion> no it'sn't
<tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling

#54809 +(333)- [X]

<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;)
<DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it

#54838 +(617)- [X]

<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL
<Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line?
<nyisles> is it from Speakeasy?
<Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable.  Its faster.
<Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS
<Dekkon> DAMN NERDS

#54914 +(442)- [X]

[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two months.
[Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING
[Video] That's sad
[Ouija] i know
[Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique?
[Video] Release shit no one wants?

#54933 +(232)- [X]

*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]

#54935 +(158)- [X]

<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> Deos anyone know where i can host a site that supports ASP for free?
<ApoIIyon> insecurehosts.com
<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> ok thanks

#54940 +(23)- [X]

zolex: do you call tabbaco a drug?
crummy: yes
crummy: of course its a drug
zolex: its a plant, its not a drug you idiot.

#54978 +(240)- [X]

<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo

#54993 +(256)- [X]

:: join #bitchx :: desane (desane@if.I.were.a.perl.script.would.you.love.fork.ing.me.uk)
:: mode #bitchx :: (+b *!*@*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*) by pheret
:: kick #bitchx :: pheret kicked desane (banned: If you match this, you have a lame host.)

#55020 +(223)- [X]

<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.

#55034 +(578)- [X]

<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
<Dilbert> investors*
<Dilbert> i meant

#55091 +(271)- [X]

<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@*
* Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it die.)

#55095 +(271)- [X]

* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x
<MudBlud> ./Cheez

#55128 +(27)- [X]

<The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4
<[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons desease

#55155 +(331)- [X]

<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at porn my cock swells.

#55167 +(1247)- [X]

(@Li-Sonder) i'm going to build a castle from the empty soda cans on my desk
 (@Li-Sonder) and declare myself king of this desk
 (@Li-Sonder) and rule it with an iron fist
 (@Li-Sonder) and make all the ants pay taxes
 (@Li-Infinite) wow
 (@Li-Infinite) you got way too much time on your hand.
 (@Li-Sonder) you mean my iron fist.

#55170 +(102)- [X]

<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot?
<KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to
<RX> good things kevin
<KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D

#55178 +(382)- [X]

<#C++:Luggage_> guy in the #vb channel thinks vb is too hard.. so wants to learn assembly..  i advised him against it, but he thinks it looks easy "nice small words"

#55187 +(359)- [X]

impOrted megAmi: life does suck, ya know. i mean, at the bad parts, naturally.
JimBob4554: words of wisdom
JimBob4554: "life sucks when its bad"

#55220 +(95)- [X]

<WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a blind 3-legged kitten?
<Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market
<Gentleman> yes
<[N]> yes tape it
<Gentleman> that is hell material
<Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead

#55229 +(325)- [X]

* motionz climbs up the statue of liberty
<motionz> ....
<c-rOCK> JUMP COCKSUCKER
<threeve> jeez what did motionz do
<Video`> Do it, pussy.
<motionz> if that's how you all feel
*** motionz was kicked by c-rOCK (BIG WIND!)

#55231 +(367)- [X]

<SO|Razor> treize do you believe in other intelligent life?
<SO|Treize> in the universe?
<SO|Treize> or on forums?
<SO|Razor> .............

#55280 +(336)- [X]

<@WoWMaN\\> this girl put her finger up my ass once
<@WoWMaN\\> I dont wonna sound gay , but it was the best feeling i ever had !
<@Bart\\> dude , that wasnt a girl
<@Bart\\> And it wasnt my finger either

#55328 +(284)- [X]

<Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/korea.nukes/index.html
<Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making everything up
<Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart
<Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea. Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there '
<Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making fun of asian people
<Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has threatened to destroy any troops coming through their territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's SLANTEYEBASTIDS."
<Jsangspar> gahahah

#55337 +(124)- [X]

<hajjs> a floppy just got stuck in the computer
<hajjs> htf do i get it out?
<Puppet-Master> force?
<hajjs> i sprayed hand lotion onto it
<hajjs> it got out.... but didn't look pretty

#55341 +(831)- [X]

<whiskers> wtf
<whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
<whiskers> told me to turn down the music
<Spyder|TV> crank it
<torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
<Kinuvan> CRANK IT
*whiskers turns up the music
<whiskers>i hear steps
*** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)

#55358 +(28)- [X]

<garyttu> Dude you are not going to believe this... I played golf with my dad today and put my cell phone in my golf bag....well I started to play like ass and took a nine iron to the side of my bag....OOPS!!!!!
<banshee> Do i need to explain what a dumb ass you are??? LOLOLOL
<garyttu> yeah- it was so funny but at the same time I am sooo pissed at myself
<banshee> That is one of those things... where after you do it... you just know... that it was fate telling you to stop acting like a jack ass...


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