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#54019 +(93)- [X]

<Jason> i've onyl done acid in my eye
<Jason> or snocapped my bud wit it
<Budda> fuck that shit its not gettin near my eyes
<Budda> i mean fuck my lungs
<Budda> but im keepin my eyes

#54029 +(365)- [X]

<Torontoye> Hi guys,. i have a P90 24mg Ram,.I would like to make it a gateway,. how much Swap space should i give it??
<afterstep> Torontoye: 24 milligrams of ram?
<afterstep> oh, i'd say about an ounce or so of swap.

#54040 +(273)- [X]

<XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
<TheGreatHio> manoower?
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
<XtG|HW> no
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> WTF is that
<XtG|HW> poop
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH   MANURE!
<XtG|HW> shit.

#54046 +(437)- [X]

<MY2K> can you hear me? :P
<TheDingo> no
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater
* MY2K has joined #8-bit.theater
<TheDingo> still can't hear you
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater

#54048 +(226)- [X]

<Afsan> the question is.. would the fbi suspect a terrorist from a university in Australia?  arn't we ment to be the good guys?
<Gothmog> we're everywhere...
<Gothmog> i mean...
<Gothmog> _they're_ everywhere
<Gothmog> phew lucky save there
<Afsan> yes you almost exposed us!
<Afsan> one of your camels must now be castrated!

#54074 +(610)- [X]

Cat1013: Whoops
Cat1013: I just really confused my grandma.
HermitKing: She has IM?
Cat1013: She just got it. I was talking to her, and she asked about my new car.
Cat1013: I said that it was fine, but that it makes a funny noise whenever I shift.
HermitKing: So?
Cat1013: I left the "f" out of "shift".

#54086 +(211)- [X]

<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> we have two horses outside our halls
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> one of them is hung like a fucking
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> i dunno what man
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> but he has one ginormous fucking penis!
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> I got a picture of it too!!!

#54087 +(265)- [X]

<Socrates> why do i get .06 kbps from kazaa....
<Socrates> thats 60 bits.. i can almost type that fast

#54099 +(1366)- [X]

EmoKidDavey: I once masturbated 24 times in 24 hours
Fallen Tabris: O_O
Fallen Tabris: That's really unhealthy.
Fallen Tabris: How much juice did you get out?
Fallen Tabris: when you have so little left, is it even called masturbating any more?
Fallen Tabris: When you've done it that many times in a day.
EmoKidDavey: yeah
EmoKidDavey: a stick comes out and a flag unfurls that says bang

#54110 +(198)- [X]

<kow> anyone know where active desktop info is stored in win2k?
<kow> like the HTML files
<APE_> same place bill gates hides the porn in win2k
<kow> fuck
<kow> I'm not gonna find it right?
<APE_> theres 200mb worth of porn built into windows, i mean how do u think it got that large?

#54120 +(911)- [X]

Seppuko I: ever jack a guy off with your feet?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: do you want to?
PrettyPrincess1 no
Seppuko I: would you if asked?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: what if he had a gun to your head?
PrettyPrincess1: yea
Seppuko I: SCORE

#54134 +(233)- [X]

<Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or something
<dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
<Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
<Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
<dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich

#54142 +(145)- [X]

MattDavis: i have to re-do an application because i misspelled "republic", leaving out the L
MattDavis: no joke, it says repubic 
MattDavis: no spellcheck when you write by hand
MattDavis: that's what i get for masturbating while doing grad school apps

#54163 +(137)- [X]

<bladezero> Hey guys, i need u to help me solve the porblem i got
<zefer> k, shoot
<bladezero> well i really like this girl and i want to impress her should i buy her a rose?
<zefer> lol, if u wana say u like her with a rose all ure saying is "I'm cheap"
<bladezero> o shit, should i buy her a bouquet then?
<zefer> no cuz then she'll think ure just trying to buy her over
<bladezero> then what do i do damnit, this is like the first girl ive ever really liked
<zefer> buy her some chocolates. U cant go wrong with chocolates, i say when in doubt look to the chocolate.
<bladezero> ok thanks man bye :)
<majinTB> uhh u sure thats a good motto to live by?
<zefer> no ha ha but hes gonna fatten this girl up real nice and then he'll either 1) dump her or 2) she'll get desperate and settle with a loser like him who can't even deal with what to get a girl on a date.
<zefer> way to "let your heart decide."
<majinTB> ha ha yea what a dumbass

#54173 +(479)- [X]

<Zoogle> So my mom comes in to my room and starts bitching about how pirating software is immoral and wrong and is worse than stealing.
<Zoogle> When she's all done she gives me 2 cd's and says "Oh, and can you copy these for me?"

#54191 +(328)- [X]

<KamiKaze-> im still a virgin
<KamiKaze-> .
<KamiKaze-> oh shit that msg was meant for jennyf16uk

#54193 +(381)- [X]

<CowboyNeal> I got email once from someone who said that /. was "tryin to keep a nigga down"
<CowboyNeal> I told him I didn't appreciate him using that term to refer to our people
<CowboyNeal> race card played and redealt, muhahaha

#54202 +(370)- [X]

<+skrath> I don't think I'm better than others, it just so happens that so far, statistically, I am

#54203 +(510)- [X]

<`Grimm`> you know whats the darndest thing is? its when you mom calls you a son of a bitch, im like, wait a minute, who's the bitch?

#54223 +(561)- [X]

DibbLe: ive come to a realization
Daemonite: ?
DibbLe: violent games like cs, bf1942 and quake DO influence kids to shoot people and commit violent acts
DibbLe: but not because theyre imitating the game, its because everyone who plays them acts SO FUCKING STUPID YOU HOPE THEY ALL DIE

#54237 +(90)- [X]

<Soul`is`away> I was ashamed of the latest KMart catalogue
<Soul`is`away> Flipped to the games bit...
<Soul`is`away> Xbox and PS2, but no cube AT ALL
<risq> there are no gamecubes in ANY catalogues
<Soul`is`away> WHY NOT!>
<Onikage> maybe after they put in the xbox, there was no room for the cube

#54239 +(449)- [X]

<Loco-san> I'm gonna make a game called With Myself, so kids will say "I'm gonna go play With Myself" and freak their parents/friends out

#54240 +(293)- [X]

<Macabre> dammit, y'know what? tday I was waiting for a cab, and the chick next to me was like, hey cutie. And I wink, then she looks down at my crotch, smiles for abit, then smacks my face.
<Macabre> Y'know why?
<Macabre> BEcause I was holing my handphone in my right hand pocket, and it started vibrating because I got a call. I dunno about yous guys phones, but mine vibrates like a pussy vibrator, ie really pwoerfully
<Macabre> she must have thought I was wacking to her or something.. :(

#54244 +(187)- [X]

<|Robot|Pimpbot> does anyone know if that will be part of Internet v2?
<{RA}SKY-UED3> yeah
<{RA}SKY-UED3> but youll have to pay a tax on it
<{RA}SKY-UED3> and stand in a line
<|Robot|Pimpbot> im willing

#54250 +(352)- [X]

<Keiichi> the BSOD doesn't mean you win anything
<PrettzL> It's not like triple sevens :P
<Keiichi> not even close
<Keiichi> it's more like the slot machine punches you in the face and laughs

#54253 +(476)- [X]

<MicrophoneJoe> Fuck me Bowmer is fat
<MicrophoneJoe> Are you talking about masturbation ZoK?
<ZoK> What else takes about 5 mins and involves lubrication?
<MicrophoneJoe> Bowmer putting on a T-Shirt

#54258 +(176)- [X]

<ceydn> Okey dokey, I'm going out
<wrath> He's going out like a deaf kid playing musical chairs

#54264 +(222)- [X]

<Que> i don't mind talking
<Que> but having pictures of my penis online
<Que> yeah, not safe
<Throttle-OSX> nah, havin yer cock and yer face in the same pic is not safe ;)
<Odin> lol
<Throttle-OSX> havin yer cock and yer exgirlfriends face in the same pics...now thats just funny

#54272 +(1385)- [X]

<hamutaro> Check this out
<hamutaro> ^ I'm with stupid! ^
<hamutaro> Oh, wait.
<hamutaro> Fuck

#54278 +(-48)- [X]

<JuicyClawter> I once threw a cat out of a five story building.  I'm not sure if it landed on its feet, because I was too high up to see.

#54287 +(643)- [X]

<mannie77> Hi
<Sexygirl89> hi
<mannie77> m/f?
<Sexygirl89> FFS, what would you think?!
<mannie77> oh right
<Sexygirl89> No girl would be stupid enough to use a nick like this!

#54292 +(180)- [X]

<Weng> "6. You are rated higher than 55% of the men on this site"
<Weng> My girlfriend didn't even rate me a 10 :/
<J4k3> she's settling for a 5... inch
<Weng> She's settling for a lot less than 5 inches

#54296 +(400)- [X]

<sora> I don't think goths are evil and satanic, I think they're pitiful and irritating. Like street mimes, only not as much fun to set on fire with kerosene.

#54297 +(360)- [X]

<Scofco> I found out I might have stomach cancer :*[
<kolby> yea, I bought a brand new pack of cigarettes today and dropped them in a puddle...I know how you feel

#54312 +(793)- [X]

<SkyKing> freudian whip
<SkyKing> i mean slip
<SkyKing> doh

#54313 +(209)- [X]

<ChafedNut> I just downloaded the internet
<ChafedNut> it's pretty fly
<Batt0usai> Chafednut: can you burn it on a cd for me please
<ChafedNut> I will try...it may have some copyright protections
<Batt0usai> if you could fit it in a floppy it would be better actually
<Batt0usai> try zipping it
<ChafedNut> ok

#54332 +(593)- [X]

<Karp> If love is a game.... where can i buy the multiplayer-version?

#54343 +(1521)- [X]

* Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
* iphopper reciprocates the hug
* Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it proportianal to 1 over 2
* iphopper primes lil's hug
* Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
* Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the highest and lowest points
* Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused faces and blushes
* iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and the derivative of that value
<ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?

#54352 +(807)- [X]

< cae> you people all suffer from ADD apparently
< krapnggt> i suffer from SUBTRACT.

#54356 +(14)- [X]

<Comarcracy> anyone know a good game for pc that is similar to gta?
<ircbuddy> GTA2
<ircbuddy> (You must have seen that coming...)
<Comarcracy> kinda, i didnt think anyone would say that since i was refering to all gta games...but expect the unexpected
<ircbuddy> Fair enough.

#54357 +(513)- [X]

<NapkinEater> can you hold a dollar between your breasts?  You are allowed to push your breast together with your hands, but you can't touch the dollar with anything but your boobs
<Emily-away> I bet I could.
<Kevyn> I can hold a dollar between my cock and balls.
<Kevyn> That means I have big balls.
<Mike_Works> <Kevyn> How bad do you want the dollar?   <Homeless Person> :(

#54365 +(409)- [X]

<default> say something nice to my mom if your around
<magpie> who's your mom
<magpie> that lady chainded up in the closet
<default> no the women looking over my shoulder

#54373 +(84)- [X]

* Filbert hmms@the work root password scribbled on his hand
* geekster Chuckles at the security
* Filbert wonders what his hand gives him access to, lol
<geekster> mastarbatory pleasure
<geekster> if your chubby arms can stretch round your large stomach

#54387 +(27)- [X]

<Simmons62> the more we get the more weed than we should have we get

#54390 +(204)- [X]

<smee> "Omochannel.com also sells a vibrator equipped with a video camera at its tip. The product can be attached to a TV or video and provides a more in-depth view of the area where it's used. "
<smee> LOOK MUM I'M ON TV!!!!

#54393 +(40)- [X]

<Riku> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to IRC and teach IRC in return.

#54400 +(229)- [X]

<pogo> i get to write on "intertextuality"
<Kevron5000> say what
<pogo> exaclty
<pogo> n: bullshit v: stupid
<serdar_argic> write 10 pages on masturbation
<Kevron5000> now that i can do
<pogo> or i could just masterbate on ten blank pages
<serdar_argic> ewww
<pogo> sign the bottom
<serdar_argic> thats pretty intertextual
<pogo> indeed

#54426 +(743)- [X]

<NevDullH> A/S/L/Uptime?

#54451 +(729)- [X]

<kfc-ginzberg> dude
<kfc-ginzberg> "12 inches" was just an answer on jeopardy
<kfc-ginzberg> someone really shoulda buzzed in, "What is my cock? Alex"

#54470 +(244)- [X]

<@Fuse> !spin
<+SugarFairy>  Fuse spinned the bottle.. and it lands on ..  Sophos
<+SugarFairy>  Now, go kiss  ^-^
<+Sophos> who the hell plays spin the bottle in a room ful of boys

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