#53617 +(228)- [X]
<DeadKenne> we're all naked under our clothes
<DocGonzo> we are?!?!!? shit!
<DocGonzo> i'll never look at 13 yr olds the same again
#53618 +(6)- [X]
<devinfo> i guess bacon is good too, or a deadly weapon for Blanka. In the future, breakfast features caffeinated bacon, baconated grapefruit,
#53620 +(138)- [X]
<@PrincessSleia2> uh, so a few months ago i stopped drinking coffee
<@PrincessSleia2> so i had two cups this morning and drank dr pepper with lunch, and i am now unstable
<@PrincessSleia2> ok, more unstable than usual
#53621 +(344)- [X]
<@Ocean-Saurian> But you know... I realized somthing last night
<@Ocean-Saurian> I realized you could buy trophies, and all these years I have been trying to do sports
#53669 +(263)- [X]
<MeatEating> why in the name of fuck are we talking about Star Trek?
<MeatEating> I think I'll leave again temporarily
<Uncle_Matt> Or you could leave temporally, in a way pleasing to us Trekkies.
#53706 +(501)- [X]
<StuGhattz> I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a handjob for being so good.
#53711 +(-44)- [X]
Anonymous: Ramadan is over, i can eat!!!
Anonymous2: I was surfing the internet and i found a page that said more women go for guys that are/were in the Air Force then any other profession.
Anonymous: Really, I wanna join the air force one day.
Anonymous2: Wat, so u could learn how to fly planes into skyscrapers.
Anonymous: Fool, you're muslim too.
Anonymous: You r a disgrace to brown pple.
Anonymous2: Don't be silly i'm not brown, i'm just a really tanned white person.
#53719 +(480)- [X]
* Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...
* Santa_Clause is now known as Steve
#53737 +(988)- [X]
<Tristan> I have a very bad headache, I need about 20 or so asprin.
* Ari huggles Tris
<Kryptonite> I LITERALLY BROKE MY ARM all i got was a HEH
#53762 +(882)- [X]
<TheOffspring326> Do you ever get the feeling that someone has mis-understood you?
<TheOffspring326> but you're not sure
<Motorbreath151> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, ASSHOLE?
#53763 +(124)- [X]
<+LagSucks> the other day i downloaded korean porn because i was curious as i've never seen it
<+LagSucks> and the men all had smaller members than i did
<+Zulehan> that's how it starts, lag.
<+LagSucks> i thought to myself, 'wow, that's a first'
#53769 +(407)- [X]
[Glare]: Hey guess what i did last night?
[Tank]: Im assuming something revolving around....."My mother/Sister"???
Glare bows in acceptance of ownage.
#53776 +(371)- [X]
[spork`] bukakke is the most intimate act that 2-50 people can perform
#53780 +(117)- [X]
<smarm> needs to have a line break :P
<CRC-Away> man, only a geek would see a nice set of tits, and comment on the line break :)
#53782 +(1537)- [X]
<alphageek> "are you currently alive? [ ] yes, [ ] no"
<alphageek> lol. this isn't pin the tail on the donkey
<Help747> X X
#53785 +(213)- [X]
<Kaladias> Kal need nookie
<Kaladias> *sigh* i wish women would take me more seriously
#53806 +(961)- [X]
<Carter> Periods rock
<Carter> It's the only time you have enough blood to cover yourself in warpaint unpainfully
<Carter> you can recreate Braveheart with red!
<DireWolf> Sorry you two, but the idea of a bunch of lesbian feminist bitches on their periods re-enacting BraveHeart is enough to make all the men on the face of the earth curl up in a fetal position and await death.
#53817 +(283)- [X]
<Anatole> The PS2 is the *only* choice, if you like those kinds of games.
<SINsApple> Not *really* since the xbox *is* the *one* that has Nascar *Thunder* and Outlaw *Golf*
<SINsApple> I'm mocking your use of asterisks, in *case* you didn't *notice*
<Anatole> Wow...you sure are *funny* when you're *drunk*, you dirty *bitch*
#53821 +(535)- [X]
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus has quit IRC (QUIT: User exited)
#53833 +(483)- [X]
<greeny> so i turn this box upside down and you know what i find printed on the bottom?
<greeny> "don't turn the box upside down"
#53843 +(428)- [X]
<Sharna> i dont do linux tho
<Snooky> it solves all the world's problems
<Sharna> world peace too?
<Snooky> actually, let me check
<Snooky> ahh, here we go:
<Snooky> Summary of changes from v2.4.20-rc2 to v2.4.20-rc3
o Change mark_dirty_kiobuf() to use set_page_dirty() instead of SetPageDirty(). The latter fails to move onto mapping->dirty_pages(), which breaks filemap_fdatasync()
o PROVIDES WORLD PEACE
<Snooky> as of kernel 2.4.20-rc3, linux has world peace
<Sharna> why dont more people know about this
#53849 +(165)- [X]
(takai) ffs _ph
(takai) dont be gay
(_ph) thats like telling me not to eat
#53850 +(325)- [X]
<Red_Avatar> Select [192kbps 44100Hz 03:53min] Mandy Moore - Only hope
<Darth-Phenom> Mandy Moore!! ROCK ON
<Red_Avatar> don't mock the music my girlfriend gave me!!
<RaptorMkII> Sure, your girl friend.
<RaptorMkII> IF YOUR GIRL FRIEND'S NAME IS KAZAA!
#53851 +(437)- [X]
(_ph): im hungry
(kingy`r): eat a dick :P
(_ph): im a little hungrier than that
(sole): eat two dicks then
(_ph): we're talking at least 5 here
#53854 +(38)- [X]
Rann XXV: The "What's regular coffee?" joke isn't just lame... it's paraplegic.
#53855 +(315)- [X]
<guardian> whos john lennon
<obi-rav> has the same sounding songs like the beetles, they must have inspired him
#53856 +(39)- [X]
<snookum> this reminds me of teens .. everyday..
<mulhollanddrive> u have pedophile eyes
#53857 +(114)- [X]
<Ktulu> Bob, so far - my day in this "everyday life" has consisted of waking up, having breakfast, playing games... and cracking jokes at your expense over IRC
#53858 +(358)- [X]
<MooFoo> Fuse, get yourself a shock rifle, that shoots instant blue shit and slow moving blue shit
<MooFoo> Also, if you manage to hit the slow moving blue shit with the instant blue shit, you will get an explosion of blue shit, that will turn the enemies into red shit
<Fuse> That's a lot fo shit
<MooFoo> fo real
#53859 +(285)- [X]
i am RAWK: you know, I don't think I ever really realized how much boys jack off before I started reading bash.org
i am RAWK: i mean, I kinna figured it was a frequent thing, but it seems astronomical now
QuakeZop: haha, I've done it fifteen times since you left here
#53873 +(273)- [X]
*** Idiot__ has joined #israel
<Baa0595> Wow. The first honest man on IRC.
#53877 +(292)- [X]
<Frozen_Shadow> OMG my cousin had sex with her dog, when i stayed the night at my aunts house, got up to go pee and her room is right by the bathroom and i walked past she had the light on and the door open
<cheesegoduk> what the hell frozen?
<cheesegoduk> your cousion was having sex with the dog
<cheesegoduk> what did she say when she saw you?
<Frozen_Shadow> she didnt say anything
<Frozen_Shadow> i just dont go to the bathroom in the middle of the night any more
#53882 +(234)- [X]
<wandarah> Quote added as #53880. Thanks for participating. :-)
<arryola> you quoted me? YOU CUNT!
* arryola refrains from speaking
<wandarah> Quote added as #53881. Thanks for participating. :-)
#53898 +(169)- [X]
sweet-dick: my dick very up baby
chika: aww... so up that you forget the predicate? ;)
#53901 +(117)- [X]
<Jaz> there is not enough time in the history of civilisation to watch all the pr0n on earth
<utopian> 1000 videos on 1000 screens
<utopian> all at once
<utopian> the law of statistics says you'll see a shakespearean sonnet sooner or later
<Jaz> im sure john T bone has done a pr0n shakespeare
<utopian> sure, according to the law of statistics...
#53923 +(684)- [X]
RonnieOchsleder: Do you use Trillian for chat? It rox.
fromagie: i use adium
fromagie: i haven't tried trillian - i shall
RonnieOchsleder: It has lots of nice little icons.
fromagie: oooh icons
fromagie: looking now
fromagie: ah, it's for windows? I no have windows
RonnieOchsleder: Yeah, it might just be for Windows.
RonnieOchsleder: Fu - sorry - ck.
fromagie: It's o - dick - kay
RonnieOchsleder: That's good to kn - fuck off, then - ow.
fromagie: Okay, nice tal - moron - king to you. Take it - up the ass - easy.
#53932 +(518)- [X]
Number-6: i should get a PO box while i'm at the post office
angryskul: so my dad had a PO box
angryskul: but not at the post office, at this little photo/copy mailbox kinkos like place
angryskul: anyhow, he also used to get voicemail there because he didnt' want his insane clients calling the house
angryskul: he used to have to reach over the counter to grab his voicemail
angryskul: after a while he got the guy to install a phone inside his box
angryskul: one day he's all checking his mail, then he reaches in and pulls out the phone
angryskul: punches in some numbers
angryskul: then he notices this dude _staring_ at him
angryskul: anyhow, so he finishes, puts the phone back into the box and locks it
angryskul: outside the guy catches up with him and is all like..
angryskul: "are you in mossad?"
angryskul: (israeli secret police)
#53933 +(31)- [X]
<GeNOc¦DE> man ur making as much sense as a letter box in africa
#53934 +(403)- [X]
<PamelaPeaks> man my assistant is eating some weird ass sausage that smells like farts
<rooster> weird "ass sausages"
<rooster> or weird ass "sausages"
#53939 +(1702)- [X]
<quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER ONTO MY BALCNONY
<quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
<kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
<quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
<quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
#53941 +(139)- [X]
<+Tolkien`> chicks will only last a while
<+Tolkien`> i can use my comp all night
#53945 +(153)- [X]
Ashanth: What would you do if you had athletes foot, and your girlfriend had a foot fetish, and she got athletes vagina?
pnkgoetz: all she'd have to do was get some BOOM!! Tough Actin Vinactin
#53960 +(230)- [X]
<bb-w3rk> If Received By: Pay this Amount:
<bb-w3rk> 12/20/02 $25,692.40
<bb-w3rk> 12/30/02 $25,712.75
<bb-w3rk> 01/09/03 $25,733.09
<ESD-Wyrk> wtf is that
<bb-w3rk> damn tab at the liquor store
#53961 +(149)- [X]
<Mak0> i am a pr0nstar
<vocalizedWHORE> Mak0, is that you on goatse?
#53978 +(195)- [X]
<Amish> women are psychotic
<Amish> cats are great pets for them though
<Xenopax> because they are cold and only want attention when you don't want to give it to them?
<Amish> that, and you get to kick them when they aren't looking
<Amish> JUST KIDDING PETA
#53984 +(319)- [X]
<[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied by a woman moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to three different minor chords"
<NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
<[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly in and and start making out with each other."
<NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay sex
<NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.
#53986 +(36)- [X]
<Vented> I wake up and go "fuck work, fuck work"
<Vented> i give my thanks to my job :)
<TheJesus> that's the trick
<TheJesus> if you mess up and do <go to work> <say fuck work, fuck work> in the wrong order, you get in trouble
<Vented> hahah :)
<Vented> you can always delete the two files, then recreate them in the correct order
<Vented> or just "touch" <go to work> so it has a later date stamp
<Vented> then no one will know what happened :)
#53992 +(324)- [X]
-Taking place in a Battlefield 1942 game-
<monk|GC> one time i saw a guy with binoculars, he was just standing there for like, 5 minutes
<monk|GC> and i asked what are you doing. he says if i wait long enough the lasers will kill all of them
#54009 +(216)- [X]
<rh-Raz_w3rk> if im not married by the time im 30, im going to slaughter a newly married couple
<rh-Raz_w3rk> i like to set goals for myself
#54011 +(521)- [X]
<alakriti> Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.