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#53241 +(252)- [X]

<bda> I need a job where I can get laid in the line of duty.
<beady> teacher?
<claws03> grade school?

#53274 +(596)- [X]

BaxterBandito is listening to: [MP3] Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - Do You Wanna Touch Me
(somecrap) someone go touch bax so he'll be happy
BaxterBandito is listening to: [MP3] Divinyls - I Touch Myself
(somecrap) nevermind he took care of that himself

#53275 +(19)- [X]

* odds5050 has sent you a Christmas greeting. Type /server mail to view the attachment
*** King_menthol has quit IRC

#53284 +(657)- [X]

<@Headlor> when i live somewhre less gay
<@Headlor> im getting a cat
<@Headlor> and calling it "Hitler Stalin Mao"
<@Headlor> or just stalin
<@Headlor> "whats your cat called?"
<@Headlor> "stalin."
<@Headlor> "."
<@Headlor> ill write on its littertray "human rights"
<@Headlor> and on its bowl "flesh of the capitalist pig dogs"

#53285 +(1415)- [X]

<Slime> I think in ten years time I will look back on days like this and cry.
<Slime> The times I spent at 2am talking about girls who have dicks and legs made of slugs eating each other whilst melting.
<Slime> My future wife will be all "Tell me what you did as a teenager" and I will say "NOW IS TIME FOR SLEEP"
<MechaMrEd> And then you'll notice she has an erection

#53299 +(217)- [X]

<hobbs> SetiAtHome -- turn your laptop into a space heater. :)

#53301 +(105)- [X]

<Angelic> man who catch fly with chopsticks ... should eat in different restaraunt!

#53320 +(310)- [X]

<RedRabbit> guys does os/2 mean only half an operating system ?

#53321 +(373)- [X]

<IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
<BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.

#53327 +(144)- [X]

<tokumei> green tea incense yo
<tokumei> and no pot for me today
<PFunk> Trying to quit?
<JeffreyAtW> Ooh, Toku's turning Republican and lying about his heavy drug use instead of admitting it

#53338 +(340)- [X]

<AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today while I was naked
<AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask what that noise was

#53346 +(109)- [X]

<Kruge> I think there should be a seperate internet for ugly bitches
<Kruge> suuuure, if you wanna take amateur porn pics of yourself, you go right ahead.  But post them on the Ugly Bitch Web

#53353 +(388)- [X]

<NightO> Jesus is coming, everyone, look busy!!
--- solicit sets ban on jesus!*@*

#53382 +(36)- [X]

<nuance> er s/./,
<cherub> don't forget to s/0,5/0.5/!
<nuance> regexp nazi
<cherub> s/nazi/victim/

#53419 +(172)- [X]

<Oliver> uni is too hardcore for me
<Oliver> spent 2 days there
<Oliver> could hardly walk
<teles> lol :)
<teles> that'll teach you to visit the toilets in the art school :p

#53448 +(157)- [X]

[@ToastyX] I almost typed cd / to try to leave a channel

#53451 +(-2)- [X]

<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> whats with all the netsplits?
<Rodzilla> J0 MAMA
<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> o_O
<Rodzilla> SHE'S SO FAT SHE SPLIT THE FREAKING INTERNET IN HALF
<Rodzilla> AHAAHAHAHAHHAH

#53456 +(309)- [X]

<codewolf> I need a new toy, I've played with this one enough
<codewolf> maybe a Z4
<Teatime> Or a miata.
<Teatime> codewolf: A ferrari.
<Teatime> Or an RUF Porsche
<fluffy> Teatime: or he could just save a lot of money and get a sign that says "im insecure about the size of my penis."

#53457 +(105)- [X]

<TreeSquid> he's not foreign, just stupid

#53462 +(140)- [X]

<bunneh> he used to talk to my mate and he admitted to liking me and the next day we found out we were related...

#53473 +(-15)- [X]

<Jesse> shit. i dont know wether i should anally rape you like a blonde ass whiteboy or beat you like a red headed stepchild

#53478 +(282)- [X]

<Marand> My girlfriend's parents are paranoid.  They don't trust the internet and are extremely against chatrooms.
<Marand> if ($person == 'online') { $person = "pervert dograping kiddiefucker" }
<Marand> Maybe it's because they know me

#53481 +(171)- [X]

<SiZZuRp> this is from www.pk-hq.com
<SiZZuRp> Most users ever online was 138 on 02-14-2002 at 13:33.
<SiZZURp> a sad valentines day......... date much?

#53482 +(158)- [X]

<weebl> i might have a meet saturday morning
<weebl> cuz of that fucker
<weebl> who took a shit in wakefield's pool
<weebl> the remeet might be like, 8 in the fuckin' morning
<DoubleHelix> LOL!
<DoubleHelix> someone drop'd a deuce in the pool!
<DoubleHelix> lol
<DoubleHelix> wtf is that shit
<weebl> yeah
<weebl> and they didn't notice till after the divers had gone
<DoubleHelix> HAHAH!

#53487 +(171)- [X]

<JanusLexington> have you guys seen the new MSN commercial?
<JanusLexington> with friend browsing?
<JanusLexington> worst
<JanusLexington> invention
<JanusLexington> EVAR
<Caff> pay $14.95 to browse web with your friends
<JanusLexington> friend porn browsing...
<Caff> it's like "SHARE YOUR PORN PASSWORDS!"
<Caff> "DON'T BE EMBARASSED UR NOT TEH ONLY ONE MASTER BATING~~~~~"

#53492 +(697)- [X]

<Insomniak> thank god Ling's not here
<Linguica> yes, thank god i'm not here

#53503 +(238)- [X]

<Theogony> odd
<Theogony> one of the playboy playmates kinda looks like my mom
<Theogony> hmm
<Theogony> quite strange

#53508 +(782)- [X]

<Dekan-> WHAT THE FUCK... My Right nut is folded down under and then backaround ontop of my left nut
<%Eizneckam> Umm
<souletr> did you know that jesus smoked three packs a day?
<@mootlif3> what the fuck is wrong with this chat..

#53514 +(204)- [X]

<@Psych0> I wake up to find that someone created a folder in my shared
Folder
<@Psych0> Called Psycho is gay
<@Psych0> Furthermore i find two instances of nimda in it
<@Psych0> anyone find that weird?
<@Forty> Sounds normal
<@Forty> Did you update Windows lately?  It's in service pack 2
<@Psych0> I have win 98
<@Psych0> :
<@Forty> Yeah that sounds right

#53520 +(164)- [X]

<@kmad> its fun as hell
<@kmad> you know what, thats a bad simile
<@kmad> because i would assume hell isn't very fun

#53523 +(231)- [X]

<Volt9000> I had wood today
<Volt9000> I'm proud
<AL9000> Me too
<SROL> I did, too
<SROL> And I believe we all know what happened soon after
<AL9000> Volt's pet goat hid behind the couch

#53525 +(196)- [X]

<Coogaar> You really cant mince around with these TiVos, Todd. If you wanted to turn on a machine and have it tell you you were gay all the time, you would just play Counter-Strike online.

#53557 +(344)- [X]

<jsmithown> well i'll brb i gotta write a letter by hand
<thegleek> wow
<thegleek> old school

#53558 +(783)- [X]

<maverick> I hate you leo, go fuck yourself.
<leo> Dont tell me what the fuck to do
<leo> Your not my fucking mom
<maverick> uhh, yeah i am..
<leo> ??????
<maverick> oh, i thought you said "your not fucking my mom"..

#53560 +(553)- [X]

<Ophelia>: I had college once, but I drank a lot of fluids and got a lot of rest and eventually it was cured.

#53567 +(130)- [X]

[+   oracel] my exam went well =)
[@   zipper] My job searching didn't.
[@   zipper] Going to go out with a friend and do a coop search wednesday. :o
[@   zipper] Multiplayer job searching > Single player

#53583 +(2619)- [X]

<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck

#53584 +(351)- [X]

<kolby> my mom doesn't even have confidence in me
<kolby> she was like, hey did you get my e-mail?
<kolby> and im like "nope, just spam...send it again"
<kolby> sure enough, she sends it again with the subject reading "Don't have a sex life? Enlarge your penis!"

#53585 +(272)- [X]

<Genasirus> #3928 +(8)- [X]
<Genasirus> <illfates> the first time I had an orgasm
<Genasirus> <illfates> i had my dick buried all the way into a stuffed animal
<Genasirus> <illfates> a kangaroo named "Fred"
<jhtm> that so beats my first orgasm story
<jhtm> I was playing with my parents massager
<Genasirus> wtf?
<jhtm> and all of a sudden I passed out
<jhtm> it sucked

#53587 +(734)- [X]

<BhavFox> FurServ: op me
<FurServ> BhavFox: You are already opped.
<BhavFox> ;O)
<Kas> FurServ: suck me
<Kas> aww
<Hawx> Kas: You already suck.

#53590 +(338)- [X]

<rTenshi> HOLY SHIAZT! THIS IS AWESOME!
<JujubeZ> what,?
<rTenshi> using a .357 magnum to kill cockroaches!
<JujubeZ> a .357? wTF? These are roaches, not deer you moron
<rTenshi> tell me about it, its gonna take an assload of time to clean up, it just went.... "PSSHHHTTTQQQTT!" Hahahahhahaha

#53593 +(-8)- [X]

<Margret> Oh, Henry! Would you like your afternoon TIT?
<Henry> Yes dear, please, do the BLOWJOB
<Margret> One SUCK or two?
<Henry> I am afraid I must watch my SEXUAL HABITS, one ASSGRIND for me please, sweety
<Margret> Gladly dear, could you kindly SUCK ON MY biscotti?
<Henry> where is it WHORE?
<Margret> your HUMUNGOUS COCK has LEAKED SWEET MAN JUICE ON IT
<Henry> Oh, thank you dear, haha! Clumsy of my not to look under your LONG ASS PUBES
<Margret> *sip*
<Henry> *Sip* I do declare darling, what type of CLIT is this? Its very juicy
<Margret> Its essence of WET HOT PUSSY JUICE, d'you like it?

#53594 +(257)- [X]

<Lenore> this computer is set up all wrong... I can't believe James broke my computer
<flawed> first your hymen now your computer
<flawed> what was he thinking?
<Lenore> he wasn't

#53598 +(179)- [X]

* Marilyn-Manson anyone want to chat? i am 17 years old from wales i am gothic, i am a cousin of Kelly Jones of the stereophonics, but they fucking suck, so dont talk to me about them, i also have MSN

#53599 +(238)- [X]

<Doberion> Hello
<Kyron> hi
<Doberion> Is Kryon Here??

#53602 +(966)- [X]

* jasn_78 then sucks ur clit as finger ur wet tight pussy
* hot_gurl_4_u grabs hold of your cock harder, moaning louder and louder, until finally her anus can take no more and she accidentally shits on your hair
<hot_gurl_4_u> hehe, sorry ;)
<jasn_78> yuck
<hot_gurl_4_u> sorry, its a medical problem :(
<-- jasn_78 has quit (Exit: )

#53603 +(-5)- [X]

<v1ru5> fuck
<v1ru5> we have a dog inside!
<v1ru5> in the house
<ikke> w00f
<v1ru5> and it is rabid or something
<Jeian> LOL
* v1ru5 akf
<Jeian> v1ru5: and the first thing you do is tell us about it?

#53606 +(323)- [X]

Snakeyes (Snakeyes@66.227.169.205) joined #help
<Snakeyes> anyone here the master of "DEATH OF A SALESMAN" i gotta answer 25 questions about it in 15 minutes!
<@dewx> i know i didn't watch it!
<@dewx> (isn't it a movie?)
<Snakeyes> its a play
<phoq> the salesman dies

#53609 +(160)- [X]

<Ac|D> i said send it to me on cd
<Ac|D> not over irc
<voltstfu> dicksuckin' tramp. no im not sending you a 38meg file via australia post
<Ac|D> fillup the cd with other shit then
<voltstfu> i have not much of interest
<voltstfu> unless you've never seen a german shepherd do a woman missionary style
<Ac|D> haha

#53611 +(183)- [X]

<ApoIIyon> energy drinks are good
<ApoIIyon> if u have less then 4 a day
<topdawg> i had a couple of v's in a lecture
<topdawg> then went to sleep
<topdawg> i woke up at the end
<ApoIIyon> yeah some people.. it wont work for them
<topdawg> and felt like running around in circles :(
<ApoIIyon> ahahahahahah
<topdawg> it had LAG
<topdawg> OH GOD
<topdawg> V ON DIALUP
<topdawg> :(


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