#49485 +(376)- [X]
<[-FcG-]Digger> LOLOLOL, Some lady just called my cell and was like "Hi I'd like to place an order" So I took it! She's gonna be pissed when the pizza doesn't arrive.
<[-FcG-]Digger> LMAO CLASSIC
<[-FcG-]Digger> Oh man, I RULE!
#49486 +(235)- [X]
<cranky-> pagan: I just catch her when she's not looking
<cranky-> I'll buy her dinner first so it's not rape
<KK-> its just buying sex then
<cranky-> what do you think marriage really is?
<cranky-> it's long term financing on a piece of ass
#49499 +(481)- [X]
<Praetor> i got jury duty and I was like
<Praetor> "well.. I don't believe in drug laws... i couldn't convict someone on drug posession bc i don't believe it should be a crime, unless he was black of course"
#49505 +(393)- [X]
<sieco> i still use it to play duck hunt
<ion> my nintendo went out the window after that last time I failed to beat ganon and bring home the tri-force
<ion> my girlfriend was like "you fucking sissy. if you don't bring me home the tri-force I'm going out with Bobby next door"
<ion> I'm like "fuck you bitch!" and I flung the nintendo at her
#49507 +(158)- [X]
<wabbit> wanna know something funny dave?
<wabbit> about nora
<wabbit> and what the spend money on?
* |Dave hands wabbit the manual for his keyboard.
#49513 +(480)- [X]
<blabur93> I swear it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen
<Zoogle> like all male senior citizen bukkake nasty?
<blabur93> ........ no
<blabur93> but thanks, now i just imagined the most disgusting thing ever
<Zoogle> np, anytime
#49514 +(347)- [X]
*** Malach has changed the topic on #nz to If your parents get divorced, are they still cousins?
<lower> Shouldn't it be "If your parents get divorced, are you still your own cousin?"
<Malach> lower - you inbreed your way, I'll inbreed mine.
#49515 +(36)- [X]
<spd> can you be charged for not giving the money back
<EnronExec> only if you're caught
#49519 +(18)- [X]
<DJ_Antonissen> isn't that for nerds?
#49521 +(180)- [X]
<Nyphur> I want to grwo my hair long so that if I get a girlfriend, people will think we're lesbians.
#49522 +(246)- [X]
<Hunter`> someone has a life long grudge against me
<ineffable> Hunter` : yeah, thats probably god
#49525 +(446)- [X]
xekk: i went to go see the ring
xekk: and this little kid, like 10 years old was sitting behind me
xekk: i guess he had his finger in his mouth
xekk: cause everytime something scary happened, he'd say "I bit my fingo!"
unslaught: hey everyone, im here!
MovieMan112: I bit my fingo!
#49528 +(108)- [X]
<@Skute> so what is elf doing going out with a 14 year old??
<+Rebs|busy> having a good time it seems
#49529 +(393)- [X]
<UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
<Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot under that suit
#49530 +(155)- [X]
<Potrod> you get buffy episodes from newsgroups?
<Killa> newsgroups are like, the primary source for anything big
<Uncle_Tobias> My penis is all over newsgroups
#49531 +(13)- [X]
<Pikaben> I was born a girl, but mom made me get a sex change because she wanted a goddamn son.
#49532 +(273)- [X]
<Tak777> my intel FAILED TO INFORM ME THAT THIS PLACE IS CRAWLING WITH SNIPERS
<Tak777> fucking shitty intel
<Ragnaar> Yeah... go with AMD. ;)
#49538 +(196)- [X]
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and you poke her on accident
#49542 +(179)- [X]
<Jagged> -t is like giving a bunch of small children loaded handguns and telling each of them that the other ones all stole his christmas pressies
#49543 +(239)- [X]
<Shino> internet people are creepy...
<Shino> if i wasnt me, and met myself, id piss myself with fear
#49545 +(181)- [X]
<BusyChild> im witnessing the building of a porn site as we speak
<BusyChild> i cant wait to tell my grandkids what i did when i was 21 the night before thansgiving
#49547 +(398)- [X]
<@martini> my weed dealer, was drunk last night
<@martini> and she started feeling me up
<@rommel> did you advance?
<@martini> i said "call me when you sober up"
<@rommel> aw, you weren't lookin for some butt that night?
<@martini> not at that very moment
<@martini> shit was crazy
<@martini> too many things going on at once
<@kvm> u were chewing gum then?
<@martini> har har
#49552 +(75)- [X]
<GaveUp> i stopped skate boarding when i started dirtbiking
<YenSid> ah yea, you can really injure yourself like that
<GaveUp> hehe i've totalled three bikes but the worst injuries i've ever had were self-inflicted ... go figure ;P
<webby_g> stupidity related injuries are always the best
#49558 +(172)- [X]
<j4yj0hn> look at me! i watch mtv all day! I am brainwashed into thinking pop is an excellent style of music! Road Rules! Real World! Now to go buy my $100 dollar shirt from american eagle or abercrombie because i am a consumer whore!
<j4yj0hn> i hate television...
#49562 +(244)- [X]
<moistyman> i saw in paper a position for tiolet cleaner at a laxative company
#49564 +(354)- [X]
<XorTiN> I am sad, I ain't got nuffin to do and all I can do is think about my g/f
<XorTiN> and she out partyin' w/ some friends or somethin
<XorTiN> and she's grounded so I can't call her
<LlnK> she's grounded.. yet she's out partying with guys?>
<LlnK> you're st00pid
* LlnK backhands some sense into XorTiN
<Illustrious> weird how she's out partyin and grounded
<Illustrious> and can't call you
<Illustrious> blah LlnK you bastard quit reading my mind
<LlnK> Illustrious: i stopped when i saw all the kiddy and beastiality pr0n
#49565 +(14)- [X]
<foop> 30% soy, 60% whiskey, 25% cock
<foop> the three main food groups
#49566 +(163)- [X]
<foop> i need a manpurse
<foop> but a dressy one
#49572 +(318)- [X]
MageGal: MageGal: You know what one of the coolest things is?
BubblyLikeSoda: umm...a duck...?
MageGal: Baby wipes.
MageGal: We have no toilet paper downstairs right now, but there are babywipes.
MageGal: I feel so very fresh and clean.
#49573 +(174)- [X]
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred
#49574 +(30)- [X]
<Jon> turn to the victorias secret show
<Jon> theres a present for you :D
<merc0> Wish i could open that present
#49579 +(679)- [X]
<BigBadGangsta> Not right now, trying to seduce a girl right now
<BigBadGangsta> Damn, her dad came home, she had to sign off
<IMJack> by that 'she' means "we don't have enough to convict you and my shift is over"
#49580 +(144)- [X]
<Dilbert> Whats the best material to use to wrap marijuana?
<[LPK]Serj> Saran Wrap
<Dilbert> k thx.
Quits: Dilbert (zorkz@Cheatlist-5F46206.md.comcast.net) (Quit:)
#49583 +(41)- [X]
<SiCkNeSs-> <-------fucking maggot slipknot fan!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> got my own channel!!!!!
<dreamHOBO> i believe you mean fucking faggot
#49586 +(44)- [X]
<@Vexer`> I just got a new pen, it says "IPMORTANT: WHEN TRAVELING ON A PLANE, UNCAP THE PEN WITH THE TIP FACING UPWARD TO REDUCE ANY RISK OF INK LEAKAGE
#49588 +(179)- [X]
<betachken> i want a Mac.
<@Burned> me too
<@Burned> its raining alot these days.
#49589 +(44)- [X]
* Neu[Mann] has a life but can't wait to get the upgrade!
#49590 +(115)- [X]
`rush» pokemon stadium is so tight
«@ Alp|nE» pokemon is fucking gay.
«`rush» i know
«`rush» save me
#49596 +(211)- [X]
<McMoo> monday's going to suck.
<McMoo> we are going to get fucked in the ass at work
<maff> sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays.
<ChafedNut> McMoo's name is really Milton
* ChafedNut was kicked by McMoo (i don't even have a stapler you fucking faget)
#49599 +(215)- [X]
<tReMeR> I was cleaning out my closet today and when i was putting my shirts back in the dresser. i wanted to put them in a particular order. I would temperaly put the shirts on this chair until i put them in the closet, in order. and i thought to my self, I have 1, 32$ office chair of cache.
<Gedit> you need a life tReMeR
#49601 +(141)- [X]
<anomaly> im talking to gf
<darkzeratul1> u have a girl?
<anomaly> gothic freak
<darkzeratul1> hmm...should have figured that out for various reasons ;)
#49602 +(67)- [X]
<crypt-> in my bios, should I have AGP fast write enabled or disabled?
<uNK> do you want agp to go fast?
#49606 +(78)- [X]
<BombScare> RAM Usage: 349/503MB (69.38%)
<DSLDemon> snag usage: 512/512LBS (100%)
<snag> that's 512more lbs of man than you
<DSLDemon> i'm not sure what that means
<DSLDemon> but ok
<BombScare> dont try to understand snag
#49607 +(307)- [X]
<Antiarc> Ever have one of those moments where you get out of the shower, get dressed and all, and then realize that you left your webcam on broadcast mode?
#49610 +(369)- [X]
SwEeTi6724: Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual postions.
#49612 +(356)- [X]
< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC
#49614 +(296)- [X]
<Dekkon> the meaning of life is as follows:
<Dekkon> "up up down down left right left right B A select start"
#49622 +(293)- [X]
<kinzillah> now THAT'S some word association right there
#49623 +(28)- [X]
<exemplary> !BrewMstr (meatloaf)-paradise_by_the_dashboard_light.mp3
<exemplary> well then
<exemplary> i'm gay
<exemplary> don't tell
#49626 +(-67)- [X]
<Ffieldboy23> dim sim get a life
<chineseguy4u> why dun u go bak to greasy wogland and shave dat monobrow
<chineseguy4u> and take dat fully sik rear schpoiler of urs bak to wogland