#49265 +(137)- [X]
<RetardedCrow> Crap, I put the head phones in, and I here "Anal beads, whatever. Now you can get realistic animal genitals. How bout a kangaroo penis?"
#49268 +(40)- [X]
* Potatocake wonders why the fuck he is listening to DDR songs
<cbf> double data rate is a band now?
<Potatocake> Dance Dance Revolution :P
#49271 +(200)- [X]
<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST!
#49278 +(138)- [X]
<ctrlbreak> i went to Coles to get cigarettes
<ctrlbreak> but forgot what i went there for
<ctrlbreak> and came home with cordial and milk
<ctrlbreak> i feel ripped off
#49288 +(133)- [X]
<Morokiane> you go fishing for couches? that's gotta suck
<Khe> you're telling me
<Khe> only got two catches last month
<Khe> had to throw the other one back, too small
<Morokiane> damn...bad day
<Khe> they bag you if you keep loveseats
<Morokiane> figures they wouldn't let you have the best
<Khe> cause then they can't go upsteam and spawn
* Morokiane makes note not to couch fish in Cali
<Khe> and you fsck with the population for next season
#49289 +(14)- [X]
[gsf]Tomato: It's only rape if you don't take them out to dinner first.
#49293 +(210)- [X]
MetalMantisX: ozzy's daughter obviously got none of her fathers talent
KennyGetsum: both of the kids look like the mom.. ud never guess they were even related to Ozzy
MetalMantisX: his other daughter looks like him though
MetalMantisX: the smart one, thats not on the show
KennyGetsum: ya cause she was concieved while ozzys blood alcohol content was under 20%
#49295 +(323)- [X]
<Japhro> I like my coffee like I like my women: $2.50
#49298 +(275)- [X]
<Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start life over cause you didn't know what to do the first time around and messed it all up?
<Tetsubo> why doesn't real life have a tutorial mode?
#49300 +(160)- [X]
<NikJam> gonna take a shower
<NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
<NikJam> I have school tommorow
<NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the counter
<Lime> you like her, dont you
<NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
<NikJam> i take what i can get
#49309 +(363)- [X]
<Grimmel> STICKING YOUR PENIS INTO ANOTHER DUDES ASS IS DISGUSTING
<Grimmel> UNLESS ITS MARDOM
#49310 +(333)- [X]
<Gir> brb I gota get out of the shitter now.
<Mardom> the fuck
#49313 +(215)- [X]
<dustin> seti@home isn't actually doing anything worth while, they're just trying to see how many morons they can get to waste cpu cycles
<Teck7> no there doing a great thing
<dustin> when they finally do find intelligent life they're gonna come down and kick your ass for wasting cpu cycles
#49315 +(130)- [X]
<Nerd> IE closed while I was logging in and now when I try to open it, it triggers a fatal exception.
<Nerd> I really don't want to be forced into using the AOL browser, damn it.
<MikeyPain> Does it say "Click Yes if you have a small penis?" and then won't let you click no?
#49317 +(394)- [X]
<CommanderStab> It just dawned on me that the "pen" I was chewing was actually a pair of scissors @_@
<CommanderStab> It dawned on me when I cut my lip on them >_<
#49322 +(79)- [X]
<Lestat> I should invent a way to make porn into music.
<Lestat> So you could be rocking out and looking at porn at the same time.
<Lestat> By like, rocking out to porn.
#49323 +(366)- [X]
<CoRDS> there is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
#49325 +(62)- [X]
<FatZZ> sif vinc, you were just so uncool that even the magic players rejected you ;)
#49326 +(179)- [X]
<red_one> fear the wrath of the sexually frustrated op.
#49328 +(292)- [X]
<Tetsuo> Isn't using NOSPAM in a Hotmail address kind of like trying to stop a hurricane with plywood?
#49329 +(323)- [X]
<Ronwe> when I signed onto IRC I didn't expect to be involved in sodomy
<Ronwe> or incest....
<Ronwe> or be enjoying it....
#49336 +(156)- [X]
<Mhoram> I'll just say, anus is an aquired taste
#49341 +(-23)- [X]
<Kamatz> Tails is cute. But I part of what I like about him is his innocense.
#49346 +(317)- [X]
<sampson> twisted my fuckin ankle...don't go to riots in birkenstocks
<sampson> they aren't good rioting shoes
#49347 +(59)- [X]
<Upth> did you know that the plastic used to make the keyboard keys warps when it gets wet and dries off?
<Upth> my keys are beginning to wrinkle from sheer skin moisture.
<ChryoZach> And now I've learned something today.
<Upth> a bunch of the keys you can't even read anymore.
<ChryoZach> I don't know whether to laugh or feel really bad. Wow. This place really has made me numb.
#49349 +(149)- [X]
<Compute> man I'm going insane here..I hope katie decides not to go clubbing tomorrow night :|
<Mercster> com: so lay down the law and tell her not to go.
<Compute> merc: I don't think she'd pay any attention ;)
* Mercster hands compute the pants.
#49355 +(20)- [X]
<HUGE_SUCKER> IT'S PART OF TEH CONSPIRACY HATTER DON'T ASK WE'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU
<HUGE_SUCKER> Is that supposed to be a dick, Timbo? Because I read that (including your nick) as "Timbo Finance Blows Cock"
<TimboFinanceBlows> it would not be far off from teh truth
<Nicodemus> man... if that is supposed to be a dick, timbo needs to see the doctor
<TimboFinanceBlows> finance sucks my left nut
<HUGE_SUCKER> Of course, the fact that I see '<---!!!!!' and read 'cock' means I've been reading bash too much
#49363 +(71)- [X]
<@elf> my liver is more masculine than yours
<@Vexer`> my liver is a female.. ofcourse yours is..
<@Vexer`> but i bet mine is hot..
<@elf> of all the dumb things you've ever said, i think that's the dumbest.
<@Vexer`> i don't say many dumb things..
<@Vexer`> do i?
#49369 +(124)- [X]
<Ronwe> I think I've done one of the evillest things imaginable
<Ronwe> in my twins search I came across faked olsen twin porn
<Ronwe> I downloaded them
<Ronwe> so I went into channels on IRC the other night and said..
<Ronwe> If anybody is interested in some decent faked celeb pron to /msg me
<Ronwe> those who messaged me got olsen twin porn
<Ronwe> I'm banned from about 20 rooms in dalnet now
* Ronwe grins evilly
#49377 +(153)- [X]
<Howard> My wife keeps getting sales calls on her cell.
<Howard> I picked it up this afternoon and told the salesperson "I need two things from you."
<Howard> "First, I need you to put me on the no-call list."
<Howard> "Second, I need your credit card number so I can charge you for calling me on this cell phone."
<Howard> They fell all over themselves apologizing and hung up.
#49393 +(-5)- [X]
<PooJou> very very wrong
<milenko> btw, how did goatse start?
<Rainwulf> i think the only pic that ever really made me feel funny was that pic of the guy whose cock was split down the middle
<Rainwulf> that was..... not good
<Rainwulf> i mean wow, that must of hurt. fuck.
#49398 +(181)- [X]
<Nick> i go over my friends' houses with the sole intention of eating their food.
#49409 +(36)- [X]
<pr0tman> my gpa was in airforce. flew u2 n shit in cold war
<sn1per> i don't like u2...none of their music is any good
#49425 +(12)- [X]
*** Now talking in #athlon
*** Topic is '<pitz_> just good ol fashioned diesel talk <---I thought this was Taxi Cab Confessions?'
*** Set by Richteremail@example.com on Tue Nov 26 23:37:20
<Weng> Diesel talk: What goes on in truck stop diners when teenage prostitutes are absent
<Weng> Suddenly, pitz appears out of nowhere and refutes the idea that semis use true diesel because there is no "Freightliner FL70 TDI"
#49429 +(187)- [X]
shocka: God should have put women's eyeballs in their boobs
#49438 +(206)- [X]
<Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
<Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
<Rogue> i pressed down
<Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
<Rogue> he is an asshole
* Rogue slaps his dad
#49441 +(282)- [X]
<+sp0re> most CS players are illiterate
<+sp0re> infact nearly everyone on the internet is
<@nem0r> its alliterate
<+sp0re> shut up
<+[IRF]Peng> illiterate nem0r :P
<+DCCwis> <nem0r> alliterate
<+sp0re> he's a n00b
<+DCCwis> so if you were sick you'd say i'm "all"
<@nem0r> forget it
<@nem0r> fucking n00b clan anyway
* Parts: nem0r (firstname.lastname@example.org)
<+sp0re> you can tell the CS players from a mile
#49446 +(288)- [X]
<radiohead> hey emp
<Emperor3D> i'd fuck her
<Emperor3D> and cum on her tummy and face.
<photons> did you go all the way down..
<radiohead> would you cum on her dick too?
#49449 +(275)- [X]
<sad|st> im going to *kill* my ex
<TblunT> ex's suck
<TblunT> fuck em
<sad|st> i spend 20 mins making fresh whipped cream every year and she demands i put Cool MotherFucking Whip on her shit
<TblunT> sounds like the cream isn't the only thing whipped y0
#49462 +(215)- [X]
<energize> i just cant' think of anything to code
<pantherqs> code some porn
<energize> how the fuck do you code porn?
<Linkadmin> haha I wish I knew
<Linkadmin> but it would be cool... a random porn scene generator
<pantherqs> that'd be sweet... have the program randomly insert a chick's body with randomly generating tit size, hair color, shaved or not shaved.. then have a whole slew of randomly chosen actions... suck, fuck, bukakke.... oh man. i wish i could code.
#49468 +(72)- [X]
<Targen> I'm using a particular method to take the gas out of my coke that involves sinking the bottle's head somewhat deeply into my mouth...and some of the coke was dripping out because of a miscalculation.
<Targen> and my hand was right next to my nose
<Targen> I don't think I have to tell you what my hand smells like
<Targen> but the point is... eww, I will never use this method again
<Ender_Ray> thats what you get for having oral sex with a coke bottle :
#49470 +(28)- [X]
<jkl> umm.. I felt a slight fastening of my heartbeat...
<jkl> but that coulda been cause i farted :\
#49471 +(224)- [X]
*** Topic is 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I WILL ASK THIS FOX FOR GUIDANCE'
*** Set by JoeMustDie on Tue Nov 12 18:34:04
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I WILL ASK THIS FOX FOR GUIDANCE 4818'
*** Squinky changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED'
<Sopabuena> No keep that number there
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED 4818'
<Squinky> What is the number?
<Sopabuena> part of a phone
<Sopabuena> i put it there or i will forget to call
<Squinky> You may be addicted when you use channel topics as reminder notes
#49472 +(85)- [X]
<DiamonDie> why does asl matter?
<enzo_> age,sex ,location?
<DiamonDie> yes i know, i've irced since '97, but why does it matter?
<enzo_> because i am n ot gay!
<enzo_> and i do not chat with men!
#49474 +(39)- [X]
<sk8er^BzY> But i want to have Sex
<sk8er^BzY> when i press sex
#49476 +(244)- [X]
<Byte> i cant find a good isp :(
<Byte> vcisp.net looked good
<Byte> but 30 hours/week...
<Byte> i use at least 56 hours
<Byte> per day
#49477 +(292)- [X]
<aNuBiS-> she humps me from behind sometimes tho
<aNuBiS-> as a joke
<aNuBiS-> when shes walking behind me
<JayWhoa> she wants to be a man
<JayWhoa> a gay man
<pagan> its all fun and games untill soemone gets their anus poked out
#49480 +(150)- [X]
<+Zebz> someone should plot a graph of how much money each of these nigerian emails is offering against time
<+Zebz> I think it's some kind of hidden message
#49481 +(66)- [X]
<Minion> I BECAME A NUDIST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO BROWSE THE INTERNET FOR UNDERAGE PORN!
#49483 +(141)- [X]
<[-FcG-]Digger> Let's all hold hands and sing...on second thought, let's wait until Soad washes his hands.
<[-FcG-]SOAD17[-RawR-]> i don't f@p THAT much :/