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#48958 +(195)- [X]

<notklister> what kind of people make computer programs?
<klister> programmers
<notklister> alright
<notklister> I think thats what Im going to tech school for

#48959 +(147)- [X]

<SiZZuRp> bend over and spell run

#48965 +(195)- [X]

rageatm005: procrastination patrol™ would beat me with flaming torches and throw me into a volcano right now
Dr SpaZZo: Except theyre too lazy

#48967 +(348)- [X]

<ChaosDragon> Can someone explain this to me?
<ChaosDragon> "Christmas Star - Outdoor Icicle Lights
<ChaosDragon> For indoor use only."
<Custodian> lol
<Custodian> that's almost as good as the shower cap box with "fits one head" on it
<Custodian> (from a hotel in disney, france)
<Roachie> LOL
<Custodian> I can only assume the french have some odd shower habbits

#48970 +(153)- [X]

<N41LGuN> You're a gay dumbass.
<SaxxonPike> yeah
<SaxxonPike> RIGHT
<SaxxonPike> NO I mean YEAH RIGHT
<N41LGuN> uh huh.

#48975 +(265)- [X]

*** Malrothien was kicked by Malrothien (this rooms too ghey for me)
<Mardom> whoa shit
<Mardom> you can kick yourself?
<Mardom> thats deep

#48978 +(217)- [X]

<Coco13> Girls are a waste of polygons.

#48980 +(958)- [X]

<Adrenna> Mom's misguided kitten crawled under the covers while I was recovering from a tonsillectomy & thought my clit would be good to lick.. holy mother of god I screeched

#48990 +(93)- [X]

<VirtualServ> -±- CurrentSong: Linkin Park - A Place For My Head -±-
<[0G]ftwilli> told you Linkin Park was talking about sex the whole time...

#48993 +(90)- [X]

<Medic_> wow.. this is new. http://www.christianlesbians.com/
<mfreeck> damn, no pictures.
<Medic_> they're christans.. they're modest.
<Medic_> and they're probably ugly. :)

#48994 +(207)- [X]

<Daimyou> SUPERMARKET!
* Daimyou starts rapping
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YOU HAVE TEH CHEESE AND TEH VEGGIEZ
<Daimyou> AND TEH TROUTTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YAYAY I RIDE AROUND IN TEH SHOOPPPPPING KAAAARTS
<Daimyou> AND THEN I GO THROUGH THE TAAAAAAYKEOUT
<Daimyou> I MEAN CASHIER
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> BUT THEN I DON'T HAVE TEH MONEYZZZZ
<Daimyou> SO MY MOM PAAAAAYS FORRRRRR ITTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> THE ENDZ0RZ

#48996 +(278)- [X]

<Hat> Windows XP isn't that bad, foO.
<Hat> At least it's better than fucking ME.
<Hat> Wait, I think I saw that on bash.org.
<Hat> aggggrggrgrh, I DID see it!
<Hat> Man, I'm fucking pathetic.  I have IRC quotes in my subconscious.
<foO> the funny thing about it is that you actually have a girlfriend that puts out, yet you still irc
<Hat> I'm hideous! Don't look at me!

#49005 +(365)- [X]

* LordMadOne dreams of his soon to be girl
<eMEraLdwPn> you talked to her at all recently?
<LordMadOne> no :(
<eMEraLdwPn> call her
<LordMadOne> I got a poem for her too
<LordMadOne> I have no phone
<eMEraLdwPn> well that sucks..
<eMEraLdwPn> get arrested and make her your one phone call!
<eMEraLdwPn> now that's romance!

#49006 +(485)- [X]

<Hat> How many seconds are there in a year?
<sirus> 2
<Hat> No.
<sirus> 7?
<Hat> That's not even an educated guess...
<sirus> i know
<sirus> im being stupid on purpose
<Hat> It's hard to tell.

#49007 +(220)- [X]

<dustin> you ever masturbated on a washer when it was on spin cycle ?
<dustin> it's the best
<Sh3lby> if u say  so
<dustin> just make sure it's not a public washing place
<dustin> they don't take kindly to things like that

#49008 +(327)- [X]

<dustin> i'm hung like a zombie process

#49010 +(465)- [X]

<Hat> What is seven Q plus three Q?
<Khryptonite> 10q
<Hat> You're welcome.
<Khryptonite> Huh?
<Hat> haha
<Khryptonite> WHAT!?!! stop laughing at me all the time
<Hat> 10Q, when spoken phoenetically, sounds like "thank you".
<Khryptonite> huh?
<Khryptonite> TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS
<Khryptonite> HAT, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#49013 +(7)- [X]

<Shaka|HeatingUpSomeSaki> child. i dont care if you are a guy. you can show me what it means to be a man anytime

#49016 +(540)- [X]

<armyopsfufu> shoplifting is a victimless crime, like PUNCHING SOMEONE IN THE DARK
<DrivingZucchini> or jacking off into a birdbath

#49019 +(297)- [X]

<fahd> anyone want to volunteer with me at the retirement home
<d3> hell no fahd
<d3> have fun cleaning up 93 year old feces
<fahd> no
<fahd> just to talk to them
<fahd> entertain them
<fahd> and maybe get laid

#49020 +(288)- [X]

<Mr`K> When people find out you play video games, they think.. like..
<Mr`K> You play EVERY video game
<nzc> dont you?
<Mr`K> "Oh, I got this game, I can't get past this part, what do I do?"
<Mr`K> And it's like Barbie's Fashion Designer

#49028 +(127)- [X]

<shadow> I love compact cars. They're small and discreet... kind of like tampons.
<Squirl> exactly
<Squirl> and when youre done you just flush them

#49038 +(620)- [X]

<Ed> Noah's Ark, bah.
<Ed> <GOD> DUDE, YOU HAVE TO LIKE... GET A BUNCH OF ANIMALS AND SHIT. ALL OF THEM.
<crunchyfish> <God> Gotta catch 'em all!

#49041 +(39)- [X]

<waffle> Jon: promise us all you will never have children
<waffle> for the good of mankind
<Ed> He doesn't have to promise!
<Phyresis> I don't plan on reproducing
<Phyresis> but I'm going to mold humanity to the way I see fit
<Phyresis> I'm sick of ignorant fuckers running amok
<Phyresis> we will have enlightenment or extinction
<Phyresis> take your pick
<Ed> So are you like, Asian Jesus or someshit?

#49048 +(404)- [X]

<timer> my penis has a linux distribution on it
<defz> minix?

#49049 +(44)- [X]

[00:00] * Invi20 is now known as Invi21

#49052 +(541)- [X]

<Potatocake> The goatse guy would be good at shoplifting.

#49053 +(327)- [X]

Magical^^:  man i can think of a thosuand ways to get laid, and none of them aint working tonight
moses1:  well since all the ideas involve you , im not suprised

#49054 +(68)- [X]

<RushMore> she couldnt stay away from my animal magnitsm
<RushMore> or is it my immense gravometric field
<issuez> no thats me
<issuez> shes in my time zone
<issuez> im fat
<issuez> it all revolves around me

#49074 +(212)- [X]

<NinjaStu> oh fuckies
<NinjaStu> 2am
<NinjaStu> and such a good book
<NinjaStu> THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS ME!
<NinjaStu> OH MY TORTURED SOUL!
<NinjaStu> OH DAMN I"M OUT OF MASCARA
<NinjaStu> AND MY TESTICLES ITCH
<Hiryuu> XD
<NinjaStu> that was my impression of a Hot Topic employee
<NinjaStu> thank you thank you
<NinjaStu> i'll be here all week

#49095 +(58)- [X]

<cbf> *dances* My nerdiness is now complete, I just said "rofl" in real life.
<smega84> cbf did u actually say rofl or role on floor laughing?
<cbf> [smega84]: "rofl"
<smega84> cbf AWESOME
<smega84> ur transfer is COMPLETE :)

#49102 +(123)- [X]

<droptone> the only afterlife is if a necrophilac gets ahold of you

#49122 +(167)- [X]

<DAnuba> omfg
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<C-rEs> ?
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<C-rEs> haha
<DAnuba> well
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
*later*
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> heh
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!

#49131 +(193)- [X]

<PACHUKA> dude, this chick is so fat, "ribbed for her pleasure" means masturbating with a waffle

#49142 +(620)- [X]

<Trimangle> ahg, my gf tried to kiss me after giving me head, I just pretended to be overcome with a sudden coughing fit and asked for a glass of water, then I took a sip, and gave the rest to her.
<Trimangle> it was subtle
<MikeyPain> heh
<MikeyPain> I woulda handed her some mouthwash and a toothbrush
<Trimangle> I was thinking of just hitting her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper

#49147 +(557)- [X]

(timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
(timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
(timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
(timmo) classic jestuh quote
(timmo) how can that be -61
[pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.

#49151 +(631)- [X]

<TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really H2S04.

#49191 +(433)- [X]

<mikebwork> but, lets say she asked me.. "do you ever have fantasies about
            girls that are petit"
<mikebwork> id' have to answer..
<mikebwork> "on occasion, yes. but not because they are petit."
<sh-> i'd say something like "yes, but occasionally i fantasize about having
      sex with a horse, while a young mexican boy takes pictures, so it's
      nothing you have to be insecure about"
<sh-> but not everyone is as suave as me

#49195 +(194)- [X]

<Ahriman> !google Killing children for the benefit of pig farmers
<BuffyBot> GOOGLE : Canadian Coalition for Green Health Care ( http://www.greenhealthcare.ca/workshop22-09-00.htm )

#49201 +(-111)- [X]

<SiNN3R> %%  %%%%%%
<SiNN3R> %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%%%%%
<SiNN3R>     %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%  %%
<Triffix> heh, that's nice.
<noss> how cute.
<noss> now my mind is all converted and i feel that jews should gassed to death.

#49235 +(271)- [X]

<My`Albanian`Ass> FUCK!!!! MY MUM BUSTED ME LOOKING AT THE GOATSE GUY!
<CoMPLeX> and u were looking at it becoz....
<My`Albanian`Ass> leave me alone, my mum's looking at me funny, brb talking.

#49236 +(24)- [X]

<Sirea> I want a daughter who has a tentacle fetish
<Sirea> I also want to be able to download new fetishes to her brain on the fly

#49238 +(84)- [X]

<P33R\> I suppose you could stand on your hands and take a beer bong in the ass
<pagan> are you talking form experience ?
<P33R\> yeah

#49242 +(133)- [X]

<whirlygig> Oh I know a lot of boys don't know how to aim.
<Deviation> i dont even bother trying anymore
<Deviation> ive converted into a sitter

#49248 +(296)- [X]

<Janemba› its all the wang size moshun
<andriod› anyone watch Buffy the vampire slayer
<MoShun› you wang your dad?
<Janemba› i have before
<Janemba› but not often
<Janemba› no no

#49251 +(57)- [X]

<DiskSpeed> my friend and I were talking and we thought it would be cool if instead of using transistors, processor manufacturers just shrank little sweatshop workers and made them hold hands and the electric shock would go through them
<DiskSpeed> and they would be in a maze and change whos hand they were holding for different things
<DiskSpeed> and the cache with the processor is really meth that is constantly fed to these miniature workers to keep them quick

#49258 +(92)- [X]

* Joins: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Ramza> jhzsdkjdsf
* Parts: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Temujin> Why does he keep doing that...
<DopeHat> He's on crack.
<Temujin> ......
<Temujin> Canadians can't afford crack.
<Temujin> They smoke Clorox.

#49259 +(40)- [X]

<MindGamez> omg that commercial would have been so funny if the little girl had asked santa for a 7 and a quarter inch penis instead of a stereo system or whatever

#49262 +(386)- [X]

<SO|Rancor> go use one of them stupid translators
<SO|Rancor> i used one once for spanish class...............and the teacher almost got me kicked out of school for accidentally saying your a fat old man who loves cock
<SO|Rancor> but the sentence in english was the man owned some chickens:-/

#49264 +(228)- [X]

<notaku> why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
<asiago> notaku, so you can cook slabs of concrete
<asiago> don't worry, as your toaster ages that setting will barely brown the bread


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