#48433 +(297)- [X]
<sprawd_> how do i delete the history in konquerer?
<RichiH> the smart way of saying "i've been browsing porn at my dad's computer"
#48435 +(163)- [X]
<Nike> i swear, my MP3's get scratched
<Loop> probably nike
<Nike> like i got a really annoying little brother sim wandering around my home directory
#48443 +(88)- [X]
<Smerdyakov> ... based _only_ one, I mean
#48470 +(190)- [X]
<Nazgul> my grandma got some pictures developed, and she was showing them to me, and said that they must have accidently one of someone else's pictures in with hers
<Nazgul> because there was a pic of a woman and man standing beside each other with their dog
<Nazgul> and I was looking at it, and thinking weird..then looked in the upper right hand corner and saw a flying saucer in the sky
<Nazgul> and was like "SHIT!"
<BloodFromStone> Don't send them back.
<Nazgul> then flipped it over and it was a promotional advertisement thing for "Taken" on the scifi channel
* Nazgul chuckles.
#48472 +(344)- [X]
••• abcdefg (smiley@HSE-MTL-ppp75343.qc.sympatico.ca) has joined: #geekissues
<datacide>[@] your nick sucks
<Soberguy> my friend has a cousin whose name is actually abcde
<Neon[UK]>[+] bored parents?
<Soberguy> when you pronounce it like she does it actually sounds quite cool
#48488 +(336)- [X]
cptchris F O O: i was measureing my dick and it said 10 in, i was happy till i realized the ruler was backwards
#48500 +(281)- [X]
<@JeffRaven> I posted a question about putting a time limit on how long someone can be logged onto win2k
<@JeffRaven> and several people from IT departments of companies have emailed me wondering if I found an answer
<@JeffRaven> boy they'd be shocked if they found out I'm just a unemployed college graduate trying to limit the time of my brother on the computer
#48501 +(516)- [X]
Phut: I just had an idea
Phut: I wanna save up a lot of money...... rent a billboard, and just simply put "www.goatse.cx" on it. Nothing else but that.
Phut: that would own
#48504 +(206)- [X]
<NinjaStu> ack! Scotch Irish on my keyboard!
<NinjaStu> if i start typing funny
<NinjaStu> my keyboard is intoxicated
#48505 +(785)- [X]
Jigglyjuff: that's worse then that peanut, butter and jelly sandwich i hear all americans like
<CHAT MattDavis> no
<CHAT MattDavis> peanut butter
Jigglyjuff: oh! that makes much more sense
#48510 +(94)- [X]
<leper> i'm a linux nub
<leper> do i edit that in... ?
#48513 +(585)- [X]
<Snoogans> oh man...I forwarded the goatse.cx site to a shitload of people at work
<Snoogans> all I heard was OH FUCK
<Snoogans> it was gold
<Catcher80> where do you work?
<Snoogans> a large internet security company
<Catcher80> "do your security holes look like this?"
<Snoogans> I sure hope not
<Snoogans> then any homo can get in
#48519 +(470)- [X]
<Pikaben> Dude. I just heard my little sister shout "I'm not naked!".
<Pikaben> Should I go check what's going on?
#48523 +(495)- [X]
<Caffy> I was just in my Attic and I heard a few rat's run around and I was like, dad did you know there are rats up here?
<Caffy> And he replied with, "It's alright, Mortin doesnt bite"
<Caffy> WTF, MY HICK FATHER NAMED THE RAT MORTIN?!?
#48538 +(261)- [X]
<Liza> but.. plis.. tell to everybody that in argentina we live.. with human rigths broken i dont know how to express because my english is not so good help us!
<divdiv> stop complaining, you get adsl, I'd gladly give up our human rights for adsl
#48548 +(407)- [X]
<Vincent_T> natl: are you m/f?
<natl> Yes, I am.
#48566 +(207)- [X]
<Saiy> Pringles is the new masturbation fad
<Splat> Which must mean that Pringles is AKIN to...
<Splat> CANNED SEX!
<Ed> Pringles is the new masturbation?
<Ed> I guess now it's "Once you pop the fun stops"
#48581 +(372)- [X]
<alexs> documentation is like sex, when its good, its very good, when its bad, its better than nothing
#48582 +(149)- [X]
<BenZor> I once kissed a guy for $20, but he wouldn't take $50 for a handjob :/
#48590 +(825)- [X]
(sd3mon): been there done that
(blackanese): done that?
#48594 +(547)- [X]
<VooDoo3dfx> She's a lesbian dude.
<VooDoo3dfx> She's never had a guy though.
<Absolut> Once you go dick... you never go chick.
<Absolut> Oh shit
<Absolut> I didn't say that!!!
#48595 +(209)- [X]
<orion> fuck pints
<orion> our corner store is selling QUARTS now
<Hat> Where do you live, Ireland?
#48600 +(542)- [X]
*** d3 (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #blackskies.ca
<Hat> You sunk my battleship!
#48601 +(67)- [X]
<+Black_Ninja> What's the difference between the catholic church and the national prison system?
<RedComet> you dont have to drop the soap to get it up the ass?
<+Black_Ninja> Ans: the prisions wait until the kids are over 18 before sending them to places where they can get raped
#48604 +(93)- [X]
<Chubbzilla> MSN just offered me txt porn
<Chubbzilla> what the fuck is the world coming too
<Ruu> MSN isn't nearly as bad as ICQ
<Chubbzilla> no, but this is liek
<Chubbzilla> first one ever
<Chubbzilla> bcos i got the new msn messenger liek, an hour ago
<Chubbzilla> it has great new features, liek txt porn
* HKR|VC downloads
#48611 +(197)- [X]
<Igatona> Seriously, the biblical club at my school only plays minesweeper and never do anything else
<+MegamanX2K> do they think the mines represent sin and your pointer is jesus
#48613 +(110)- [X]
* APE_ wonders if u can actually buy them
<SonicRageX> ape do you know how many people there arethat want babies but cant have them
<APE_> something like a few million
<KiLLaKoW> that is such a retarded figure
<KiLLaKoW> there are probably more than twice that number up for auct...err, adoption
#48616 +(28)- [X]
<Ear> andy: but Methodists think jebus and god are one.
<Ear> Which means he impregnated his mother with himself.
<andy> he was jerking it in the womb
#48621 +(949)- [X]
#48629 +(450)- [X]
<Xellos-san> don't confuse barbecues with hookers
<Xellos-san> the only way you can tell them apart is to set them on fire
<Xellos-san> if it runs away, it's a hooker
<Xellos-san> if it stays, it's a barbecue
<Xellos-san> or a dead hooker
#48650 +(323)- [X]
<+ariana_> good perl code is indistinguishable from line noise
#48654 +(304)- [X]
<Tatws_> i typed "cg_draw2D 0" in the console to get rid of the 2D things and i dont know how to get them back!
<Tatws_> how to get them bak!?
<Buck> switch the 0 for a 1? dumbass
<Tatws_> ha that wil never work! you think im stupid?
#48673 +(214)- [X]
<Scruffypoo> BaLLeriNNa: dunno about best friends. me and the kernel aren't even on speaking terms at the moment. i have to tell bash a message for the kernel, and it tells the kernel. then, hopefully, the kernel doesn't get massively depressed and run away or anything.
#48676 +(666)- [X]
* DuneBoy is fucking dead tires
#48684 +(287)- [X]
<voyweiser> what's the record for the most blowjobs in one day? cause i think i broke it.
<LlnK> how many guys did you give head today?
<voyweiser> stfu whore. i guess i walked right into that one huh?
#48690 +(396)- [X]
<Dashiva> "There comes a special time in every young woman's life when special things start to happen.."
<hibbert> every month, for afew days, its ok to be a bitch
<Lanfear> ...you men dont know how easy you have it
<hibbert> you dont have to deal with carting around this huge piece of meat everywhere
<hibbert> its like im pregnant, and the baby is hanging between my legs
#48695 +(-181)- [X]
<orion> goh, despite your new image of being an intelligent nigger
<orion> you are still
<orion> a nigger.
#48696 +(1005)- [X]
<xjeff> ok this is just the way I talk...I misspell because some word's I say arn't exetly proper so please Lay off I been real nice ever-since I came here because I did NOT won't to make enamey's out of STARS fan's
<xjeff> so there!
<Sotek> You talk with apostrophes in the middle of plural words? o_O
<xjeff> yes that's just the way I talk
<Sotek> IT ISN'T.
<Sotek> IT CANNOT BE.
<xjeff> it can
<Sotek> YOU CANNOT PRONOUNCE AN APOSTROPHE.
#48698 +(443)- [X]
<cbf> oh that reminds me, I might've given your number out in a irc channel last night
<Mr_E> are you fucking serious?
<Mr_E> if you're the reason some cunt called me at 4 in the fucking morning I'ma throw bricks through your window
#48699 +(166)- [X]
<lbandit> oh god
<lbandit> i'm in the "seattle gay news online"
#48712 +(24)- [X]
<zephir> think my moms up
<Hesh> tell her i want peppers and eggs for breakfast
<zephir> should i dcc that to you?
<zephir> ./dcc send hesh peppersandeggs.food
#48713 +(411)- [X]
<FreakingNeo> 20. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is a fear of ____?
<Qualjyn> long words
<FreakingNeo> Winner: Qualjyn Answer: long words Time: 4.265 Streak: 1 Points: 114 WPM: 28 Rank: 2nd
#48714 +(187)- [X]
<chickenpotpie> i'm gunna make a porn rpg
<Spoon> what would happen when you leveled up?
<chickenpotpie> you'd get a better sex toy
<BlackRaven> Chrisetn... Amarthdae.. Kardelian.. Erandir... and Zelendrile all go off and have fun in that cave that they were in before they went to the castle on the shore..
<Spoon> Ass_Master leveled up! Ass_Master learned [Doggie Style]!
#48715 +(-22)- [X]
<+Azul_Leon2k2> anybody know how to get cat blood off your suede shoes???
<+Azul_Leon2k2> damn furry football
#48716 +(217)- [X]
<APE_> ive only got 34mb free
<APE_> out of 1.18gb
<ibor132> hah, ape u need a bigger drive
<APE_> yeh i know
<APE_> my drive is slowly filling up with temporary internet files porn and irc logs
<ibor132> hah, at least its important stuff
#48717 +(656)- [X]
<sacarna> okay. so i was in whitcoulls and i walked out and smacked into this guy and i was all ready to go grr and looked up and it was the guy i have the biggest crush on ever
<sacarna> and my face went white
<sacarna> and then i kinda managed to muster up a hey
<sacarna> and then scuttled away
<sacarna> hopefully he will think its all very cute and fuck my brains out.
<autistk> it's hard to fuck people when they're running away
<autistk> and you tend to go to jail for it
#48718 +(11)- [X]
<ZeroHour> Descender: get a real mans gun
<Descender> your penis?
<ZeroHour> damn right!
<ZeroHour> put it in your eye!
<ZeroHour> WATCH IT SHOOT!
#48719 +(145)- [X]
<Saiy> Got a job yet Mr Blazey?
<BigGeorgieB> He's on irc. guess. :
#48720 +(487)- [X]
<kisama> only 15 minutes though
<kisama> i tricked my roommate into leaving
<kisama> so i could fucking wack it
<KenKaniff> Whack it
<KenKaniff> Then we'll play
<kisama> already did
<KenKaniff> So why 15 minutes?
<kisama> he's coming back in an hour
<KenKaniff> So what?
<KenKaniff> Why cant you play when hes there
<jestuh> cause it's cuddle time then
#48728 +(139)- [X]
note: Jdun is from Moldova
<Puchu> go there jdun
<Puchu> lots of hot women
<Puchu> for all your underground slavic women needs
<Jdun> we are not slavic
<Puchu> balkan then
<Jdun> not balkan