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#48433 +(297)- [X]

<sprawd_> how do i delete the history in konquerer?
<RichiH> the smart way of saying "i've been browsing porn at my dad's computer"

#48435 +(163)- [X]

<Nike> i swear, my MP3's get scratched
<Loop> probably nike
<Nike> like i got a really annoying little brother sim wandering around my home directory

#48443 +(88)- [X]

<Smerdyakov> ... based _only_ one, I mean
<Smerdyakov> s/one/alshfsafa
<Smerdyakov> s/alshfsafa/afsaagagaskhaah
<Smerdyakov> s/afsaagagaskhaah/on

#48470 +(190)- [X]

<Nazgul> my grandma got some pictures developed, and she was showing them to me, and said that they must have accidently one of someone else's pictures in with hers
<Nazgul> because there was a pic of a woman and man standing beside each other with their dog
<Nazgul> and I was looking at it, and thinking weird..then looked in the upper right hand corner and saw a flying saucer in the sky
<Nazgul> and was like "SHIT!"
<BloodFromStone> o_o
<BloodFromStone> Don't send them back.
<Nazgul> then flipped it over and it was a promotional advertisement thing for "Taken" on the scifi channel
* Nazgul chuckles.

#48472 +(344)- [X]

  abcdefg (smiley@HSE-MTL-ppp75343.qc.sympatico.ca) has joined:  #geekissues
<datacide>[@] abcdefg
<datacide>[@] your nick sucks
<Soberguy> my friend has a cousin whose name is actually abcde
<Neon[UK]>[+] lol
<Neon[UK]>[+] bored parents?
<Soberguy> when you pronounce it like she does it actually sounds quite cool

#48488 +(336)- [X]

cptchris F O O: i was measureing my dick and it said 10 in, i was happy till i realized the ruler was backwards

#48500 +(281)- [X]

<@JeffRaven> I posted a question about putting a time limit on how long someone can be logged onto win2k
<@JeffRaven> and several people from IT departments of companies have emailed me wondering if I found an answer
<@JeffRaven> boy they'd be shocked if they found out I'm just a unemployed college graduate trying to limit the time of my brother on the computer

#48501 +(516)- [X]

Phut: ooh
Phut: I just had an idea
Phut: I wanna save up a lot of money...... rent a billboard, and just simply put "www.goatse.cx" on it.  Nothing else but that.
Phut: that would own

#48504 +(206)- [X]

<NinjaStu> ack! Scotch Irish on my keyboard!
<NinjaStu> if i start typing funny
<NinjaStu> my keyboard is intoxicated

#48505 +(785)- [X]

Jigglyjuff: that's worse then that peanut, butter and jelly sandwich i hear all americans like
<CHAT MattDavis>  no
<CHAT MattDavis>  peanut butter
Jigglyjuff: oh! that makes much more sense

#48510 +(94)- [X]

<leper> i'm a linux nub
<leper> so
<leper> do i edit that in... ?
<leper> notepad?

#48513 +(585)- [X]

<Snoogans> oh man...I forwarded the goatse.cx site to a shitload of people at work
<Snoogans> heeh
<Snoogans> all I heard was OH FUCK
<Catcher80> lmao
<Snoogans> it was gold
<Catcher80> where do you work?
<Snoogans> a large internet security company
<Catcher80> haha
<Catcher80> "do your security holes look like this?"
<Snoogans> I sure hope not
<Snoogans> then any homo can get in
<Snoogans> HAHAHAHAH

#48519 +(470)- [X]

<Pikaben> Dude. I just heard my little sister shout "I'm not naked!".
<Pikaben> Should I go check what's going on?

#48523 +(495)- [X]

<Caffy> I was just in my Attic and I heard a few rat's run around and I was like, dad did you know there are rats up here?
<Caffy> And he replied with, "It's alright, Mortin doesnt bite"
<Caffy> WTF, MY HICK FATHER NAMED THE RAT MORTIN?!?

#48538 +(261)- [X]

<Liza> but.. plis.. tell to everybody that in argentina we live.. with human rigths broken i dont know how to express because my english is not so good help us!
<divdiv> stop complaining, you get adsl, I'd gladly give up our human rights for adsl

#48548 +(407)- [X]

<Vincent_T> natl: are you m/f?
<natl> Yes, I am.

#48566 +(207)- [X]

<Saiy> Pringles is the new masturbation fad
<Splat> Which must mean that Pringles is AKIN to...
<Splat> ...
<Splat> CANNED SEX!
<Ed> Pringles is the new masturbation?
<Ed> I guess now it's "Once you pop the fun stops"

#48581 +(372)- [X]

<alexs> documentation is like sex, when its good, its very good, when its bad, its better than nothing

#48582 +(149)- [X]

<BenZor> I once kissed a guy for $20, but he wouldn't take $50 for a handjob :/

#48590 +(825)- [X]

(AnAcOnDa): www.goatse.cx
(sd3mon): been there done that
(blackanese): done that?

#48594 +(547)- [X]

<VooDoo3dfx> She's a lesbian dude.
<Absolut> Really?
<VooDoo3dfx> Yeah.
<VooDoo3dfx> She's never had a guy though.
<Absolut> Once you go dick... you never go chick.
<Absolut> Oh shit
<Absolut> I didn't say that!!!

#48595 +(209)- [X]

<orion> man
<orion> fuck pints
<orion> our corner store is selling QUARTS now
<Hat> Where do you live, Ireland?

#48600 +(542)- [X]

*** d3 (d3@xtreme25-113.aci.on.ca) has joined #blackskies.ca
<`brad> d3
<`brad> d3
<`brad> d3
<Hat> You sunk my battleship!

#48601 +(67)- [X]

<+Black_Ninja> What's the difference between the catholic church and the national prison system?
<RedComet> you dont have to drop the soap to get it up the ass?
<+Black_Ninja> Ans: the prisions wait until the kids are over 18 before sending them to places where they can get raped

#48604 +(93)- [X]

<Chubbzilla> omg
<Chubbzilla> MSN just offered me txt porn
<HKR|VC> !
<Chubbzilla> what the fuck is the world coming too
<Ruu> MSN isn't nearly as bad as ICQ
<Chubbzilla> no, but this is liek
<Chubbzilla> first one ever
<Chubbzilla> bcos i got the new msn messenger liek, an hour ago
<Chubbzilla> it has great new features, liek txt porn
* HKR|VC downloads

#48611 +(197)- [X]

<Igatona> Seriously, the biblical club at my school only plays minesweeper and never do anything else
<+MegamanX2K> do they think the mines represent sin and your pointer is jesus

#48613 +(110)- [X]

<KiLLaKoW> http://www.discountbabies.com/cgi-bin/ebaby/auction.cgi?afterdinnermints&1077202666
* APE_ wonders if u can actually buy them
<SonicRageX> ape do you know how many people there arethat want babies but cant  have them
<APE_> yeh
<APE_> something like a few million
<KiLLaKoW> that is such a retarded figure
<KiLLaKoW> there are probably more than twice that number up for auct...err, adoption

#48616 +(28)- [X]

<Ear> andy: but Methodists think jebus and god are one.
<Ear> Which means he impregnated his mother with himself.
<andy> hahah.
<Ear> :D
<andy> he was jerking it in the womb

#48621 +(949)- [X]

<DarkSpork> rock
<Mal> scissors
<Mal> ...
<Mal> DAMN!

#48629 +(450)- [X]

<Xellos-san> don't confuse barbecues with hookers
<Xellos-san> the only way you can tell them apart is to set them on fire
<Xellos-san> if it runs away, it's a hooker
<Xellos-san> if it stays, it's a barbecue
<Xellos-san> or a dead hooker

#48650 +(323)- [X]

<+ariana_> good perl code is indistinguishable from line noise

#48654 +(304)- [X]

<Tatws_> dammit!
<Tatws_> i typed "cg_draw2D 0" in the console to get rid of the 2D things and i dont know how to get them back!
<Tatws_> how to get them bak!?
<Buck> ehrm
<Buck> switch the 0 for a 1? dumbass
<Tatws_> ha that wil never work! you think im stupid?

#48673 +(214)- [X]

<Scruffypoo> BaLLeriNNa: dunno about best friends.  me and the kernel aren't even on speaking terms at the moment.  i have to tell bash a message for the kernel, and it tells the kernel.  then, hopefully, the kernel doesn't get massively depressed and run away or anything.

#48676 +(666)- [X]

* DuneBoy is fucking dead tires
<DuneBoy> d

#48684 +(287)- [X]

<voyweiser> what's the record for the most blowjobs in one day? cause i think i broke it.
<LlnK> how many guys did you give head today?
<voyweiser> stfu whore. i guess i walked right into that one huh?

#48690 +(396)- [X]

<Dashiva> "There comes a special time in every young woman's life when special things start to happen.."
<hibbert> every month, for  afew days, its ok to be a bitch
<Lanfear> ...you men dont know how easy you have it
<hibbert> whatever
<hibbert> you dont have to deal with carting around this huge piece of meat everywhere
<Dashiva> hahahhah
<dogma-> lol
<hibbert> its like im pregnant, and the baby is hanging between my legs

#48695 +(-181)- [X]

<orion> goh, despite your new image of being an intelligent nigger
<goh`> yup
<orion> you are still
<orion> a nigger.

#48696 +(1005)- [X]

<xjeff> ok this is just the way I talk...I misspell because some word's I say arn't exetly proper so please Lay off I been real nice ever-since I came here because I did NOT won't to make enamey's out of STARS fan's
<xjeff> so there!
<Sotek> You talk with apostrophes in the middle of plural words? o_O
<xjeff> yes that's just the way I talk
<Sotek> ...
<Sotek> NO
<xjeff> ...............
<Sotek> IT ISN'T.
<Sotek> IT CANNOT BE.
<xjeff> it can
<Sotek> YOU CANNOT PRONOUNCE AN APOSTROPHE.

#48698 +(443)- [X]

<cbf> oh that reminds me, I might've given your number out in a irc channel last night
<Mr_E> are you fucking serious?
<Mr_E> if you're the reason some cunt called me at 4 in the fucking morning I'ma throw bricks through your window

#48699 +(166)- [X]

<lbandit> oh god
<lbandit> i'm in the "seattle gay news online"

#48712 +(24)- [X]

<zephir> hm
<zephir> think my moms up
<Hesh> tell her i want peppers and eggs for breakfast
<zephir> should i dcc that to you?
<zephir> ./dcc send hesh peppersandeggs.food

#48713 +(411)- [X]

<FreakingNeo> 20.  Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is a fear of ____?
<Qualjyn> long words
<FreakingNeo> Winner: Qualjyn Answer: long words Time: 4.265 Streak: 1 Points: 114 WPM: 28 Rank: 2nd
<FreakingNeo> O_O

#48714 +(187)- [X]

<chickenpotpie> i'm gunna make a porn rpg
<Spoon> what would happen when you leveled up?
<chickenpotpie> you'd get a better sex toy
<BlackRaven> Chrisetn...  Amarthdae..  Kardelian.. Erandir... and Zelendrile all go off and have fun in that cave that they were in before they went to the castle on the shore..
<Spoon> Ass_Master leveled up!  Ass_Master learned [Doggie Style]!

#48715 +(-22)- [X]

<+Azul_Leon2k2> <sigh>
<+Azul_Leon2k2> anybody know how to get cat blood off your suede shoes???
<+Azul_Leon2k2> nobody?
<+Azul_Leon2k2> u_u
<+Azul_Leon2k2> damn furry football

#48716 +(217)- [X]

<APE_> ive only got 34mb free
<APE_> out of 1.18gb
<ibor132> hah, ape u need a bigger drive
<APE_> yeh i know
<APE_> my drive is slowly filling up with temporary internet files porn and irc logs
<ibor132> hah, at least its important stuff

#48717 +(656)- [X]

<sacarna> okay. so i was in whitcoulls and i walked out and smacked into this guy and i was all ready to go grr and looked up and it was the guy i have the biggest crush on ever
<sacarna> and my face went white
<sacarna> and then i kinda managed to muster up a hey
<sacarna> and then scuttled away
<sacarna> hopefully he will think its all very cute and fuck my brains out.
<autistk> it's hard to fuck people when they're running away
<autistk> and you tend to go to jail for it

#48718 +(11)- [X]

<ZeroHour> Descender: get a real mans gun
<brenden> hah
<Descender> your penis?
<ZeroHour> damn right!
<NoiZe> lol
<ZeroHour> put it in your eye!
<stupidnick_> lol
<ZeroHour> WATCH IT SHOOT!

#48719 +(145)- [X]

<Saiy> Got a job yet Mr Blazey?
<BigGeorgieB> He's on irc. guess. :

#48720 +(487)- [X]

<KenKaniff> Snow
<KenKaniff> MSH?
<kisama> sure
<kisama> only 15 minutes though
<kisama> i tricked my roommate into leaving
<kisama> so i could fucking wack it
<KenKaniff> HAHA
<KenKaniff> Dood
<KenKaniff> Whack it
<KenKaniff> Then we'll play
<kisama> already did
<KenKaniff> Oh
<KenKaniff> So why 15 minutes?
<kisama> he's coming back in an hour
<KenKaniff> So what?
<KenKaniff> Why cant you play when hes there
<jestuh> cause it's cuddle time then
<jestuh> ;x!

#48728 +(139)- [X]

note: Jdun is from Moldova
<Puchu> www.manhole.com
<Puchu> go there jdun
<Puchu> lots of hot women
<Puchu> for all your underground slavic women needs
<Jdun> we are not slavic
<Puchu> whatever
<Puchu> balkan then
<Jdun> not balkan
<Puchu> must...give...label....
<Gin> commie
<Gin> :)
<Puchu> YES


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