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#46961 +(270)- [X]

<Trahen0ts> nobody loves me
<Trahen0ts> that's it
<Usiel> grow boobs. i'll love you
<Trahen0ts> *turn up polka*
<Trahen0ts> how do you know I don't have boobs?
<Usiel> your picture
<Trahen0ts> that could be somebody else
<Usiel> looks like you
<Trahen0ts> how do you know?
<Usiel> i saw you
<Trahen0ts> when?
<Usiel> couple years ago
<Trahen0ts> ..
<Trahen0ts> that coulda been somebody else.
<Usiel> kind of an elaborate hoax just to fool me
<Trahen0ts> well, I'm an elaborate guy
<Trahen0ts> I have boobs, trust me

#46962 +(369)- [X]

<@neotek> can you imagine how many neck injuries occur each year from camwhores with small tits trying to lick their nipples?

#46981 +(306)- [X]

<@neotek> i saw the best book title today
<@neotek> 'the complete idiots guide to religion'

#46986 +(443)- [X]

<+jadedragon> so are any of you boys going to talk to me?
<@neotek> do you have nude pics?
<+jadedragon> nope
<@neotek> then probably not.

#47006 +(94)- [X]

<Schoonzie> dude
<Schoonzie> 16
<ApoIIyon> but like. cmon.. SHE IS SIXTEEN
<Schoonzie> getting her kit off
<Schoonzie> unpopular?
<Schoonzie> i dont think so
<ApoIIyon> illegal?
<ApoIIyon> i think so

#47032 +(203)- [X]

*** julia_roberts was kicked by neotek (banned: spamming)
<@neotek> who would have thought that a successful actress like julia roberts would stoop to spamming her "phat pic site"

#47044 +(178)- [X]

<+PrincessKristen> --Thanks for the Voice, Magestryn--  Hvly ddo
<+neotek> --Thanks for the making IRC a gayer place to be, Hvly ddo--

#47059 +(495)- [X]

<dysfunctional-24> only idiot use computers
<neotek> i hardly like to point out the obvious irony, but...

#47060 +(427)- [X]

<@PhatBob> try smoking bud with pubic hairs in it, now that shit fucks you up
<@neotek> if you're smoking your pubic hairs, i'm PRETTY SURE you're already fucked up.

#47064 +(284)- [X]

<Rudeboi> winme does something that no chick will over do... continously goes down on me...

#47068 +(1444)- [X]

<kolby> dude...true story...Jacob was masturbating in our bathroom and the light doesn't work so instead of grabbing lotion, he lubed up his dick with ben-gay. I had to take him to the fucking hospital. It was like a movie.
<Wes> hahahah
<kolby> yea but hey, don't make fun of him, it's been a rough fuckin night
<Wes> Ah come on
<kolby> nah man, seriously
*** Jacob has joined #e/n
<kolby> HAHA! How's your red cock feel you fucking idiot?

#47069 +(108)- [X]

<milenko> september was much better for my downloads
<Rudeboi> i've been too busy these last few months so mine has been down a bit
<milenko> hahaha you dont dl coz you are busy. i dont dl coz ive got all the lesbian porn on kazaa

#47083 +(279)- [X]

<ZeBFFd00d> oh yea, just set up my sixth CPU running Folding@Home
<pl3x> you must be quite the ladies man

#47084 +(630)- [X]

<Chris_Away> On a UK keyboard the dash, the space bar and the 5 are all on the same key.
<NapkinEater> YOU LIE!!!
<Chris_Away> You5can't prove-that.

#47103 +(373)- [X]

<xjeff> ya'll want to see how fast I can type?
<Cereus> not really
<Cereus> i'd be more interested in seeing how correctly you can type
<xjeff> me dont know wat u tlkin bout
<xjeff> .........
<Cereus> I, don't, what, you, talking, about
<Cereus> congratulations. one word correct

#47106 +(196)- [X]

<morgaSTFU> MBoffin: did you hear about the new IE hole?
<MBoffin> The one they posted the code for on BugTraq?
<Drg> i'm over the hype of the new ie hole heh.. had enough fun backdooring the girls on my msn list.. haahahahahaHAh
<morgaSTFU> eeew
<MBoffin> Drg, backdooring girls should be discussed in another channel, please

#47108 +(693)- [X]

Jahidi:   like 10 minutes ago i was walking down the hall and it sounded like
          that ugly freak of nature with the unibrow that lives next door was
          fucking some other dude...freaked me out
bbyhewie: really?
Jahidi:   yeah...but it must have been something else...couldn't have been that
bbyhewie: how do you know, maybe he just happened to meet the most pathetic
          inbred dumbass cock-starved crackhead loser of all time and they're
          gonna live happily ever after.
Jahidi:   Nah, you wern't idle

#47116 +(913)- [X]

<DruMorgan> Anyone remember Big Bird singing the song about the alphabet pronouncing it as one big word?
<DruMorgan> AbkaDefGiJekylmanopriqstuvixez
<MrSnazz> didn't that open up a gateway to hell or something?

#47118 +(368)- [X]

* |taint| brushes qcommand hair back, traces lips gently with finger, staring into eyes...and then a kiss.
<|taint|> omfg wrong one!
<|taint|> =(((((
<qcommand> OMG
<Garak> LOL!!!
<|taint|> !!!!!
<Garak> ROFL!!
<|taint|> gah
<|taint|> rofl stfu =(
<qcommand> i feel strange
<Deena> eeewwwwww.......
<|taint|> rofl
<Deena> grossss.....
<|taint|> i hit the wrong one damnit!
<SCORPION> lol
<SCORPION> Q has been tainted

#47127 +(237)- [X]

<The_Dude> mac is god compared to microsoft
<The_Dude> and linux is the science that disproves god's existence

#47132 +(433)- [X]

<mikebeauc> man, there's a hot chick in the Java Lab..
<flawed> mikebeauc: go ask her "miss, are you lost?"

#47134 +(171)- [X]

<flawed> i wish they had Summary Software .. you paste in a huge chunk of text and it gives you the gist of it :)
<flawed> then you can use some Text to Speech software to read the summary out loud
<flawed> ah the Age of Laziness

#47145 +(226)- [X]

<BloodFromStone> XP probably has a button that summons local monkeys to brutalize my isp.
<[Sl]Ashy> no, bfs
<[Sl]Ashy> I'm afraid that first the monkeys duct tape you to a chair and taunt you, then proceed to take off your clothing, take pictures for later blackmail, and -then- rip your ISP's server to shreds.
<BloodFromStone> o_o
<BloodFromStone> XP is dangerous.
<[Sl]Ashy> Yes.
<Iepetus> yeah
<[Sl]Ashy> Handle with care.
<Iepetus> monkeys seem cute and all
<Iepetus> but when that happens... it's no fun
<Iepetus> ...
<Iepetus> or so I hear

#47157 +(114)- [X]

<Cowclops> wtf
<Weng> WTF
<NKD> WTF
<Weng> SOMEONE USES OS/2
*** ben6 has joined #athlon
<Cowclops> [Austy VERSION reply]: Internet Adventurer for OS/2 PM (Registered) : Version 1.50 : Get it from http://www.inetadv.net
<NKD> HAHAHA
<Weng> I have OS/2
<NKD> I hope to god thats a fake version reply
<Weng> But I sure as fuck don't USE it
<Cowclops> I kinda hope that too
<NKD> I have OS/2
<NKD> Oh wait nm
<NKD> thats a PS/2 port

#47170 +(255)- [X]

<TDS> THAT MAKE NO SENSE ANYWAY. IF 50 % OF AMERICANS ARE BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE, HOW CAN IT BE AVERAGE?
<SneakAtack> TDS is an idiot. half the people are below the average and half the people are above the average. that's why it's an average.
<Moik> >_< TDS makes the upper half possible.
<Bob_Dole> ROFL @ Moik
<SneakAtack> hehee
<SneakAtack> I feel almost bad. I should have waited for more people to reply and then agreed with TDS.
<TDS> that was a momentary lapse. my iq has been found to be 163.
<FFVI> You forgot a decmial point, TDS
<SneakAtack> TDS: 163 with a mean of 500?

#47176 +(485)- [X]

<djdan> You are a really weird d00d.
<djdan> hm.
<djdan> d00d upside-down is p00p.

#47209 +(384)- [X]

<Tirlas> I remember the dream vividly... I don't know how to express it :-(
<Schroe> My suggestion is to use words and phrases in English grammatical structure.

#47220 +(902)- [X]

<Lacan7>Oh. My bad. I'm so used to speaking english here that I've become a tad rusty on my stupid.

#47226 +(234)- [X]

<Moik> Jesus would drive a Jesus Bus from GTA.
<KatR> As God, I can say that Jesus would drive a BattleMech. 
<Moik> Jesus would drive K@R's mom like a Shriner's Mini-Car. 
<KatR> Moik, I have no mother. +Creator of all [including me] 
<Moik> Sorry, that was a typo. It should say: "Jesus would drive K@R like a japanese schoolgirl on rollerskate heading to bukakke class."
<Moik> The keys are like, right next to each other. 
<KatR> Of course they are. You're still wrong. K@R > Jesus. 
<Moik> Doesn't mean you wouldn't like it. 
<KatR> Moik: Methinks you're projecting again. 
<Moik> In essence, yes, that's what a man must do when participating in bukakke. 
<Dark Shadow> that's one of the best 'come'backs I've ever seen.

#47227 +(485)- [X]

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb

#47228 +(288)- [X]

*** Now talking in #math
<Jahidi> One time nnitro sent me a picture of himself wearing nothing but a calculator.

#47229 +(270)- [X]

<Logic_BomB> supprise your friends: put a chip bag over your croch and cut out the bottom of the bag, undo zipper, take it from there
<Logic_BomB> or put mouse traps inside, whatever, just dont do both

#47234 +(94)- [X]

* Genin grabs laz and sticks his thumb up his butthole
<laz> at least i cut my fingernails yesterday

#47235 +(134)- [X]

<Kilcannon> stealing builds character 
<Genin> i have soooo much character

#47236 +(29)- [X]

* BriteNite evens out gwen's ass
<Gwenllian> thank you, dear
<Genin> BriteNite: with donor tissue?

#47237 +(327)- [X]

<BriteNite> somebody kill me now
*  Genin hugs BN 
<BriteNite> you bastard

#47238 +(-37)- [X]

<Genin> i am immortalized by the velocity my ass burgers shoot from my anus.

#47243 +(321)- [X]

<energizer> how should i tell her?
<flawed> just draw a little stick figure in photoshop then some barb wire then another stick figure on the other side of the wire, then put arrows pointing at each, one with "brian" and the other with "shannon"
<flawed> doesn't have to be barb wire either, it can be a dragon.. or a moat

#47259 +(120)- [X]

<skaterboy> astro is ur video up already?
<astrOdz> http://www.skaterboy.is.gay.com:9512/~astrodz/vid/astrodz.avi
<skaterboy> i don't see no video

#47271 +(148)- [X]

<debutante> thanks orion you fucking piece of cow shit
<orion> oo cow shit
<orion> ouchers
<orion> i used to step in cow patties as a child
<orion> bare foot
<orion> and let the shit ooze between my toes
<orion> it felt wild
<orion> my dad taught me that.

#47279 +(683)- [X]

<UPC747> do you need bitches Max?
<Max> I have man bitches
<Max> er
<Max> MANY
<Max> man, what a fucking typo
<UPC747> ROFL

#47283 +(210)- [X]

[coderage] assemblers think c is a pussy language because you use more then half the keyboard

#47297 +(175)- [X]

<zero> apparently the ceo was talking to some manager in the hallway at work today about "change management"
<zero> except he kept on saying "management change"
<zero> i only wish they got photos of that poor managers face

#47307 +(239)- [X]

<lech> porn and programming, what could be better
<antiuser> hmm, a real girl?
<lech> well that's the source

#47316 +(282)- [X]

<ryda> <Skitzo> hold alt and press F+A+X for mirc fax mode
<ryda> lol im not that stupid
<milenko> nah
<milenko> you dont have to hold alt
<milenko> just press alt then type fax,  its for dccing files, not faxing
<ryda> pressing alt f a x quits mirc, you n00b
<milenko> no it dosent
<milenko> it brings up the dcc window
*** ryda has quit IRC
<milenko> whos the n00b now?

#47317 +(291)- [X]

<D-BOY> how is it people can possibly find japanese people smart
<D-BOY> look at their food
<D-BOY> they can't figure out how to cook it
<D-BOY> look what they do with rice
<D-BOY> <Japanese Dude> Maybe if I roll it into a ball it will taste better!
<D-BOY> <Chinese or Mexican Guy> I'll lightly pan fry the rice and season it to perfection while adding in choice meats and vegetables to create a dish in itself
<D-BOY> <Japanese Guy> I can't figure out how to start a fire. I'll just eat my fish raw.
<D-BOY> <Chinese Guy> I'll marinate the fish in a 2:1 ratio of egg to cornstarch and fry it to add a thick breadding. Then coat it in a sauze of ginger, hot bean sazuce, and add vegetables
<MM> Maybe it's just age-old tradition...?
<D-BOY> More like age-old idiocy
<D-BOY> Idiocy is inherited from generation to generation
<D-BOY> Look at Israel and Palestine

#47325 +(465)- [X]

(bi0_away) Universal Realm Enterprises, Inc. (PATHFUSION-DOM)
(bi0_away) PO Box 903
(bi0_away) Volcano
(bi0_away) HI,96785
(bi0_away) US
(bi0_away) HI
(bi0_away) lol
(bi0_away) a city called Hi
(bi0_away) "hi, welcome to hi"
(FenixTxD) Its hawaii
(FenixTxD) idiot.

#47326 +(211)- [X]

<Ranzer> Mish``: btw what kinda connection you on? i dont wanna be laggin you too much ;]
<Torka> Mish`` is Mish_@andover.net * Mish
<Ranzer> and..?
<Ranzer> i dont even know what andover.net is
<paradon> Ranzer: andover.net is the "big evil corporate" that owns slashdot, sourceforge, newsforge, freshmeat, etc, iirc.
<Ranzer> paradon: ah, so it has more bandwidth than god?
<tristan_> pretty much :>

#47327 +(677)- [X]

<Killrbyte> HAHAHA.  My Dad just told me that once when he was in school he took a blank tape, recorded someone screaming about 30 minutes into it, and put it in a tape player and pressed Play right before the end of class.  Then he left it there so during the next class, they suddenly hear a loud scream in the middle of class from this damn tape player.

#47328 +(443)- [X]

<Corrupt_> brb i gotta stir the stew
<shaan> that so sounds like he is masturbating
<shaan> done "stirring the stew" there
<Corrupt_> all stirred up
<Corrupt_> i got some all over my face


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