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#46310 +(723)- [X]

<decifer> you should've seen the chicks clawing each other at the beach to get to me when they heard about my 231day uptime

#46313 +(402)- [X]

Rangsk: I'm watching a movie and I hit some key by accident... dunno which
Mmytacism: haha
Rangsk: and all the sudden something seems... not right
Rangsk: after about a minute I realize that the sound is going 2x as fast but the video is still going 1x
Mmytacism: hahahahaha
Rangsk: and I'm like... wtf... why would someone program that as a FEATURE?

#46315 +(29)- [X]

<@chucky> . <= a map of the world zoomed out alot
<@Diesi|> ha-ha

#46316 +(222)- [X]

<ryda> earlier, i was lookin up doom 3 stuff
<ryda> and i clicked on this doom 3 screenshot link
<ryda> and it redirected to a pornsite
<ryda> and then my mum comes up to me and offers me a pringle
<ryda> and im just like sheeet
<milenko> ahhahaha
<milenko what did she say?
<ryda> i couldnt get it off the screen
<ryda> she pretended not to noticed
<ryda> alt f4 wasnt workin lol
<ryda> thing is, it looked really really gross
<milenko> what was it, cumshot?
<ryda> im not sure
<ryda> but i think it could have been tranny
<milenko> dude, YOUR FUCKED

#46324 +(635)- [X]

<w|zzy> had to help sister in the shower
<w|zzy> fuck
<w|zzy> as in she couldn't get it hot enouguh

#46327 +(194)- [X]

<Diablo-D3> RichiH: only you would have a chainsaw strapon.
<RichiH> yeah, this completely redefines "treehugger"

#46338 +(337)- [X]

<Kai-jin> violence is always an answer
<Aan|trigu> ah..no
<Aan|trigu> :P
<Kai-jin> yes it is..it may not the *the* answer...but it is always *an* answer
<Aan|trigu> well so is bestiality

#46347 +(359)- [X]

(+_Penguin) ican typw qirh my wywa ckoswd

#46375 +(154)- [X]

<flawed> they got a weight loss patch now
<flawed> if you're a sexually active fat chick who also smokes, you could be wearing three patches.. one for weight loss, one for birth control and one for quitting smoking
<NuFrost> patent the multipatch(tm)

#46386 +(397)- [X]

<FeSTeR> oh ya great job pullin out of the parking lot today..lol almost hit a woman
<GABAR> dude if i was any good at pulling out, you wouldnt be alive

#46391 +(232)- [X]

<Eticam> omg
<Eticam> there's a hole in my pants, right at my asshole
<Eticam> how the hell did that get there? :/

#46396 +(400)- [X]

«+ aisu_kurimu » damn right
«+ aisu_kurimu » wait i think i messed up my ghetto lang
«+ aisu_kurimu » damn straight*
«+ aisu_kurimu » ughhhh 17 years in the ghetto, you'd think i'd pick up something
«@Xellos-san» yeah, herpes

#46411 +(48)- [X]

<Guyp> like a week ago this indian
<Guyp> interviewed my english teacher
<Guyp> and he didnt know english
<Guyp> so he said
<Guyp> excuse me, my english bad, because class is boring and when teacher are teaching i smoke out class
<Guyp> it was so funny
<Guyp> ;[

#46420 +(281)- [X]

<Angelz> cya bskfdhdt
<Hoopy> can I buy a vowel? :/

#46421 +(658)- [X]

<gbp> er det noen som har Silence Of The Lambs
<dortch> i have silence of the lambs
<dortch> but i dont know what the fuck you just said

#46424 +(260)- [X]

<ef~ian_> I saw a hot chick working at Radio Shack once.  I think it was a mistake.

#46427 +(440)- [X]

<crushdmb> blah
<crushdmb> I HATE EXES
* crushdmb kills all exes
<vap0r> hahaah
<vap0r> why?
<crushdmb> 'cuz my ex is an asshole
<vap0r> i thought you meant .exe

#46431 +(148)- [X]

* Admiral_Justin shoves vex into /dev/null
* Vex Quit (Connection reset by peer)

#46445 +(328)- [X]

* DocHopper is now known as DocRestarting
<DocRestarting> brb
* DocRestarting has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Sean> that was so pointless

#46449 +(114)- [X]

<generic> but ive decided to switch this lappy to mandrake instead of linux

#46461 +(20)- [X]

<miv>   http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm
<miv>   final meals of people who are on death row
<miv>   "Justice, Equality, World Peace"
<miv>   what kind of request is that
<miv>   U CANT EAT THAT! moron
<miv>   if it was me i would have asked for a 6 year old japanese girl
<miv>   i'd eat her out

#46471 +(555)- [X]

<stern_7> on CNN, story number 1: North Korea has a nuke.
<stern_7> story number 2: Does standing on your head cure hiccuphs?
<stern_7> This is what happens when AOL is allowed to own the news.

#46472 +(182)- [X]

<magusXXX> I think it's funny that roxio wants to buy napster.
<magusXXX> "You steal it, we'll burn it!"

#46475 +(125)- [X]

<fahd> stop making fun of my religion.  islam isn't funyn, it's serious
<fahd> now shutup, i have to study for calculus
<Hat> Fahd, is Allah good at calculus?
<fahd> >:(
<Hat> Yeah, I guess not.  He's only good at bomb mak.... I mean chemistry.

#46485 +(17)- [X]

<Tibor-> grr. . .I don't have adobe, though, and I don't know what the hell "vector" is, nor does it outline the process of "converting" it :(
<Darth-Phenom> Tib, by Adobe do you mean Photoshop?
<Tibor-> Yea, probably, Phen. It just says Adobe Illustrator and such

#46496 +(359)- [X]

<nirosys> whoever decided it'd be a good idea to rar an iso up, then throw it in a tar... then gzip it...
<nirosys> should be shot..

#46498 +(179)- [X]

<World_Corrupt> I once knew this guy who was 45 and we were good friends. and i was 11 then
<ascian> you didn't meet him in a bathroom, did you?

#46504 +(401)- [X]

<Grumman> man, tough week for my fantasy hockey team
<JustNoodle> any luck with your fantasy sex life?

#46517 +(327)- [X]

<+The_Steel> I scored a 96% on the procrastination test
<+The_Steel> I'm not suprised
<+emul8or_> i put off the procrastination test till tomorrow

#46526 +(42)- [X]

<MistaED|CrazyTaxi> ARGHH
<MistaED|CrazyTaxi> Crazy_Taxi.Deviance.ShareReactor.bin.exe, it doesn't bloody work
<[whee]Kris|bah> .......you don't run the file, ed

#46541 +(791)- [X]

* Sep mst find a working free ISP for gods sack
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> God's Sack? Isn't that..
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> Sack-religious?

#46550 +(1374)- [X]

<BlazeHedgehog> Cripes. ANYTHING is innuendo nowadays
<BlazeHedgehog> "I had a glass of milk." "WHOA GOOD JOB, HOW WAS SHE?"
<BlazeHedgehog> "No. I mean, I poured milk into a glass and drank it." "You sure did!"

#46552 +(110)- [X]

<Wheeze> "yo baby...we all urinate...wanna do it?"
<BIGmog|site> wanna urinate?!  that's your pick up line?
<BIGmog|site> you need to put something in between then
<BIGmog|site> otherwise you're gonna get pee'd on

#46559 +(611)- [X]

*** Ugly_Stick is now known as Bueghty_Stick
*** Bueghty_Stick is now known as Buehty_Stick
*** Buehty_Stick is now known as Buhty_Stick
*** Buhty_Stick is now known as Beuhty_Stick
*** Beuhty_Stick is now known as Beugty_Stick
<Beugty_Stick> how the hell do you spell beughty!

#46565 +(197)- [X]

<Scott> i dunno, Bill Gates porn would get sooo many hits
<Scott> they'd wanna see how micro and soft he really is

#46581 +(222)- [X]

ComNerd1: would you have sex with anybody?
Auto response from KarpenkoSoup: No women, no kids
ComNerd1: oh, ok
KarpenkoSoup: Yeah, those are the rules.

#46589 +(25)- [X]

<Killrbyte> I hate faggots.  They stole our word.
<Killrbyte> Gay used to mean you were happy.  Now it means you have a sore ass.

#46593 +(374)- [X]

<kmad> ppl should stop using worn-out cliches because they're not funny anymore
<}}T-DuB--> is that your final answer?

#46598 +(925)- [X]

<Guest17888> its me Where can i mk trilogy doiwnload???
<Garret> http://www.firstgov.gov/fgsearch/index.jsp?
         dom0=www.fbi.gov&mw0=warez+sodomy+porn+microsoft+illegal+
         MORTAL+KOMBAT+TRILOGY+DOWNLOAD+FREE&rn=218&in0=domain&
         parsed=true&Submit=Go&domain=fbi.gov
<Garret> Just go here.
<Guest17888> garret its true or false
<Garret> It's true.
<Garret> I'm getting it at 400KB/s!
<Guest17888> garret its not true
<Garret> You clicked the link?
<Guest17888> yes garret and.....
<Garret> You do realize you just searched fbi.gov for warez, porn, sodomy, illegal, microsoft, and mortal kombat right?
<Guest17888> fuck ya all
* Quits: Guest17888 (MKIRCN-003@212.182.122.Kg9=) (QUIT: User exited)

#46608 +(-10)- [X]

<AlBo^StUd> eyyyyyy
<AlBo^StUd> i have a virus i fink
<AlBo^StUd> like wen im on the net
<AlBo^StUd> my mouse goes nuts
<AlBo^StUd> n cliks everywere
<AlBo^StUd> n wen i move it it makes it worse
<AlBo^StUd> d only way i kan get it off is by d/c my mouse n reconecting it
<My`Albanian`Ass> u running windows 98?

#46610 +(25)- [X]

(&) rak (rak@vw-7462.idx.com.au) is trying to send you Gayness.exe(20 kb) on port 3283.

#46611 +(-9)- [X]

* Anaconda doesnt feel to well :\
< josie> whyyyy?
<@Anaconda> stomach virus going around down here atm
<@Anaconda> think if got it
<@Anaconda> was painting the toilet bowl last night.. if u get what I mean

#46619 +(286)- [X]

<cin> i have friends in my bum
<cin> My mum says they're worms
<cin> But I know better

#46621 +(432)- [X]

<|MonK|> I have a 16X dvd rom drive,  so why dose it still take an hour and  a half to watch a whole DVD?

#46630 +(206)- [X]

<_Godless_> what can say to the ex that killed a part of you that you'll never get back ... with out souding bitter?

#46632 +(235)- [X]

<flook> bugger, I accidentally printed a page of all black and now I have no ink left :-/
<Steve_Cajun> flook> practising your goth poetry then? :)

#46634 +(234)- [X]

<Kobe> I just got an sms before.... " This message cost 22 cents. This could feed a muslim boy in afganistan for a whole day. Send this to 7 of your friends and starve the c**t for a week "

#46635 +(404)- [X]

<-- Matias has quit (Exit: Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs)

#46637 +(245)- [X]

<SLURPee> i remember in yr 9 i questioned something
<SLURPee> ohh about genesis and the order in which it occured
<SLURPee> her response was
<SLURPee> 'as catholics we don't question. we just accept'

#46640 +(92)- [X]

<Udeth> i fucking HATE counterstrike-players
<Udeth> i hope they all die.
<Udeth> irl


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