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#44900 +(297)- [X]

<Marvin> I've found one, and only one practical application for "13375p33k"
<Marvin> secure passwords

#44906 +(-272)- [X]

<uiop> go read a book with that guy from star trek
<pork> which one
<uiop> that black one, who was always reading on PBS
<uiop> take a look, its in a book, a reading negro.
<pork> oh him
<jre-la> CONCLUSION: there's only one negro that can read

#44916 +(201)- [X]

<Thamwlad> i'll attempt to disbelieve the floor

#44917 +(166)- [X]

<Kosta> I'm paying for 4 different hot chicks' EQ accounts in the hopes that one of them will put out.

#44922 +(404)- [X]

<j4yj0hn> oh, a kid in my class got called to the office for stalking a girl
<Threeboy> strange kids.
<j4yj0hn> she caught him in her yard with a camera
<Threeboy> just say it was a project.
<Threeboy> unless he was naked.
<Threeboy> then say it was an ART project.

#44923 +(248)- [X]

<sm4k> i wish you could record dreams
<sm4k> i'd have the best porn

#44931 +(808)- [X]

<NapkinEater> I had a dream about a game show where parents compete to see who can keep their baby in the freezer the longest.

#44932 +(283)- [X]

<Ophiel> someone asked me if LOL was a different version of AOL :O

#44938 +(44)- [X]

<StoneColdSpider> YAY IM FINALY BACK ON FFS!!!!!
<k> worst 5 mins of your life eh scs
<k> you missed
<k> [16:30] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has joined #NV
<k> [16:35] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has left #NV
<k> ;p

#44940 +(32)- [X]

surfichris: hey, do u know c++
surfichris: or c
Kasper_2010: well, i can see, i dont know about the ++ bit

#44953 +(123)- [X]

<wolfstg> I stopped watching wrestling when i got gay.

#44964 +(-17)- [X]

<Musc> hm
<Musc> a dog with a fatty p00n would clearly be preferable to assraping a male dog

#44969 +(276)- [X]

<nroklost> your life is a lie
<somery> dood i'm just talkin' about your mullet, don't get all existential on me

#44977 +(369)- [X]

<LARZ_GOD_ME> lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing
<LARZ_GOD_ME> which one
<darque9> considering your spelling, i'd say "studing"

#44983 +(14)- [X]

<eDRoaCH-nothere> akuma noticed me
<Nariz> "noticed" you? so you were hiding and he saw your big ass behind the curtians?
<Nariz> you should never hide behind the curtians
<Nariz> i've tried it before, it doesn't work...
Nariz was kicked by eDRoaCH-nothere (/notice Nariz ur an idiot)

#44985 +(1043)- [X]

<LieparDestin> i challenged god to a duel once
<LieparDestin> the next day my rabbit died
<LieparDestin> i guess i lost :(

#44990 +(159)- [X]

<je> my PC died completely as it booted tonight .. lights come on but nothing happens
<je> now I'm stuck with ye olde PC that doesn't even have a good enough vid card to show flesh tones
<reverend> stop looking at pr0n

#44999 +(342)- [X]

<HSOK> my dad just came up stairs, he said i was playing my music too loud
<HSOK> im using headphones

#45007 +(397)- [X]

<fats> whats a kernel?
<_astrodz_> kernel is the man who made kfc!
<fats> huh?
<_astrodz_> his chicken is built from source

#45009 +(489)- [X]

<fireslide> i turned the windows narrator on
<fireslide> it funny as hell :)
<Tolkien`> what does it do?
<fireslide> it narrates stuff man
<Tolkien`> like the text on the screen?
<fireslide> yes
<Tolkien`> is it for deaf people
<Tolkien`> or something?

#45013 +(189)- [X]

<comet_11> efnet's just like dalnet except no services and we have 'servers' instead of 'occasional connectivity emulators'

#45018 +(391)- [X]

[Sober|wrk]: Christina Aguilera's Nipple Tweaker Goes on Strike
[pHluid-]: This dude *quit* being Christina Aguilera's nipple tweaker?
[Sober|wrk]: hehehe
: pHluid- is away: Making a resume.

#45029 +(-76)- [X]

<kolby> I'm up at UT and my friend fucked Chris Simms but would never give me his number, she left her phone here...I'm so gonna get laid
<KenKaniff> Who
<KenKaniff> Wait
<kolby> Chris Simms is the QB for U.T.   I don't know, he's famous here
<KenKaniff> Are you a girl?
<KenKaniff> Because if you arent
<kolby> and he's also a douche bag
<KenKaniff> You're talking about getting fucked by a guy
<kolby> im a guy
<KenKaniff> And that would make you gay
<kolby> you're talking about little boys
<KenKaniff> I'm Ken Kaniff.
<KenKaniff> Thats what I do
* kolby was kicked by timmo (GAY KICK)

#45030 +(384)- [X]

* typobox43 looks for life
<Marie> try out of IRC :p
<typobox43> WHAT?!
<typobox43> :P
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> you mean there is such a place?
<Marie> you know, close the IRC screen and sign offline? :)
* typobox43 shudders at the though
<typobox43> *thought
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> my vocal organs are underdeveloped... i don't think i'd get very far
<typobox43> although i think i'd win a thumb war in a heartbeat
<Craig> join #reallife
<Craig> ?
<typobox43> --- Cannot join #reallife (Channel is invite only).

#45037 +(18)- [X]

<@WSBN-MeBaD> Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
<@WSBN-MeBaD> Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

#45059 +(21)- [X]

<wild`> Afghanistan Quick Facts: Life Expectancy 46.62 male, 45.1 female (2000 est.) <<<soon to be revised

#45062 +(175)- [X]

<beamz> do they sell penis warmers like those 9volt handwarming gloves/
<Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"

#45063 +(1408)- [X]

<saloo> hey wanna chat;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> yeah hot guy
<saloo> a/s/l
<saloo> u thr
<Nataliehotgurl16> 16/f/ca
<saloo> 29/m here
<saloo> wanna talk sex;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE

#45064 +(165)- [X]

<Sart> WASHINGTON The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will decide if public libraries can be forced to install software that blocks sexually explicit Web sites, the latest in Congress' string of attempts to shield children from Internet pornography.
<Dark-e> ack
<Dark-e> why would anyone goto a libary
<Dark-e> if that passed

#45070 +(450)- [X]

<pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'

#45077 +(113)- [X]

<pubatch> any idea how to find out a phones phone number?
<pubatch> i cant call my regular line, my parents are in bed
* verve thinks
<pubatch> its not written on the machine, or on the phone it goes to either
<verve> i know, just call the operator and ask :P
<pubatch> hah, 'where am i!?'

#45079 +(776)- [X]

<pubatch> i saw the funniest fucking thing last night
<pubatch> i was driving home and this guy walks out in the crosswalk when im barreling towards it
<pubatch> it turns out to be a blind guy with his big gay white stick, and a yellow jacket with SECURITY written on the back
<pubatch> i donno what the fuck he was guarding but im pretty sure its stolen by now

#45089 +(11)- [X]

<Tispie> Well..Iam formatting my computer..so i want to save my quake files..but they are way too big for a disk
<Sulyspa> Use a CD?
<Lyssa> Gahhh its Tisp
<Tispie> stfu Lyssa. Iam not in the mood
<Lyssa> haha
<Tispie> Suly, do I not need a burner? I dont know how to put it to a cd lol
*** Quits: Pati` (nukkumahan)
<Thogart> formating always puts people in bad moods..
<Thogart> its like loosing a part of your soul..

#45097 +(156)- [X]

<@Mi3Z> and im only on 56k
<@Mi3Z> takes about 2 hourse for win2k SP3 on this
<@Mi3Z> hours*
<@Cheez> 2 horses for a service pack?
<@Cheez> doesnt sound like a fair deal to me
<@Mi3Z> yea i know
<@Mi3Z> they rip you off like fuck, you know what MS are like
<@Cheez> still, winXP SP1 checks to see if the horses are stolen :o

#45101 +(732)- [X]

<Ethrakus> is partitioning your HD that risky?
<Ceiri> partitioning a hard drive is like cutting a pizza into slices
<forvrin> With a baseball bat

#45104 +(805)- [X]

<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"

#45109 +(207)- [X]

<_overkill> how do you eat high protein
<EnchWORK> bukkake

#45112 +(410)- [X]

<`KArmA> and now, an Ode to Redhat 8, in free verse
<`KArmA> I heard that you were cool
<`KArmA> I read the reviews which said you were
<`KArmA> I downloaded your isos and burned you to CD
<`KArmA> The install was beautiful
<`KArmA> You loaded just fine
<`KArmA> But your network configuration sucked and you lied to me about my soundcard
<`KArmA> Then you wouldn't update your software like you said you would
<`KArmA> you lied repeatedly to me about my kerberos 5 libraries
<`KArmA> the sound still won't work despite your assurances
<`KArmA> and I'm left rage hating you, your company, the development community that spawned you and Linus Torvalds himself
<`KArmA> Fuck you Red Hat 8, if you are the example of what Linux Desktops are supposed to bbe
<`KArmA> then I will continue to use OpenBSD
<`KArmA> . . .
<`KArmA> thank you
* JaG cheers
<phr0work> hehe
<phr0work> that was pretty nice karma
<DesScorp> ha ha ha ha
<`KArmA> see? poetry does not suck r0b
<`KArmA> it just has to hit you in the right spot
<phr0work> hehe
<`KArmA> and if anyone posts that to bash.org I'm going to jam my Redhat 8 install CDs up your ass sideways
<DesScorp> you could've just done a Haiku......"Red Hat sucks my cock......OpenBSD rolls over the penguin......As I shave Linus Torvald's Mother's back"

#45113 +(462)- [X]

<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively

#45115 +(2)- [X]

<Rhyos> Anyone wanna hear a bad geology joke?
<Midknight> go on, humor us
<Rhyos> Ok. A bit of background.
<Rhyos> Everyone know what halite is?
<Midknight> if it fails then you will have to be killed a most imaginative and horrible way :)
<Rhyos> It's just a big block of salt.
<Rhyos> *not the joke*
<Rhyos> Anyways, basalt is the stuff that's on the ocean floor.
<Rhyos> So... what do geologists call the stuff on the ocean floor?
<LordJD> fish shit
<Rhyos> Sheep halite. *it was on a test* Fish shit is probably even funnier.

#45124 +(213)- [X]

<Quik> Quake is the mother of all games!
<fridaY13th>  yes... a very old and ugly mother.

#45126 +(13)- [X]

<SI-pHluid> so I had to go to the bathroom with a face full of fucking cum and wash that shit off

#45130 +(195)- [X]

<BlackComb> any 1 have 04-ja_rule-leaving_(always_on_time_pt_ii_ft_ja_rule)-brm.mp3
<DvsG> ja rule featuring ja rule?
<DvsG> that's twice the gayness
<DvsG> woohoo

#45131 +(156)- [X]

<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to please a man ? A man or a woman ?
<Sway> damn right
<Sway> a man
<Sway> a rough and hairy man
<Sultan> Your sick, lol
<DarQ> That's not sick...
<DarQ> That's being realistic.

#45132 +(99)- [X]

<Vel> 9th graders are in 8th grade or 7th grade
<Vel> err 13 year olds*

#45135 +(173)- [X]

<Mime> It's getting hard for me now :
<Mime> Last few levels of Normal, then on to Hard.
<Mime> Atom Smasher = bastard
<Sigma> <Mime> It's getting hard for me now
<Mime> ..
<Sigma> I love those wacky out of context quotations
<Mime> .
<MightyBlueJustice> Someone make a joke pertaining to Mime's penis and his "getting hard" comment please.
<MightyBlueJustice> Oh, there we go.

#45137 +(-9)- [X]

<Xiautau> my nose is running like a negro out of a convinence store

#45138 +(207)- [X]

<Cringer> By an 8-1 vote Monday, the members of the U.S. Supreme Court collectively resolved to lose their virginity by Dec. 31, 2002.
<danhon> Who gave the dissenting opinion?
<Cringer> I bet Scalia.

#45139 +(229)- [X]

<Phreak407> why the fuck is there purple m&ms in this bag?
<Anti-Social> Because they're tryin to tell you you're gay
<Phreak407> oh

#45143 +(325)- [X]

<craNKGod> ASK ME
<craNKGod> 0

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