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#44638 +(307)- [X]

cranky> I upgraded to the internet 8.0 as soon as AOL released it

#44640 +(8)- [X]

<cappicard> whew... got that splinter out.
<VicViper> cappicard: wooden keyboard?
<Apollo-> VicViper: No, I think he was playing with his wooden dildo
<VicViper> hehe
<Apollo-> good thing he was stroking it with his hand and not ramming it in his ass
<Apollo-> it'd been a little tougher getting a splinter out of his ass

#44641 +(76)- [X]

<Saralou023> its a veteran computer......i think mines got a virus
<CamboniMachine> dont u have norton or something like that?
<Saralou023> a norton? ......is that a type of computer?

#44642 +(197)- [X]

<chronic1> damn, that chatroom is about as active as my grandma
<Teakk> chronic1: must be pretty active then
<Teakk> cause i KNOW your grandma...and DAMN

#44654 +(166)- [X]

<Xalot> Can Anyone here Help me, I put a CD into my Player and It makes a Weird Noice. but no Sound..?..Anyone?..
<Notice> Is there a Sound Card in there?..As in the Computer?..
<Xalot> ..No...
<Notice> well..think about it
* Xalot (Xalot@h24-71-124-70.ss.shawcable.net) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))

#44657 +(543)- [X]

<+Spazz> Oh, man.  I feel bad now.
<+Spazz> I thought my cat had a scab on its belly.
<+Spazz> So I've been picking at it.
<+Spazz> Turns out, it's his nipple.  X.x

#44664 +(206)- [X]

(SaMaNtHa^) as long as you're not attracted to chipmunks
(MarK^MacLeaN) i'm not
(MarK^MacLeaN) except for that whole chipmunk raping incident
(MarK^MacLeaN) poor lil guy
(MarK^MacLeaN) girl girl.. i mean girl lol
(SaMaNtHa^) homosexuality and beastiality all rolled into one
(MarK^MacLeaN) yeah it was a tough year

#44674 +(478)- [X]

<R0SS1> theres a new technology place in my city and i know a couple of dudes who are gonna steal some tv's from it...some sony 45inch flat panel hdtv plasma diplay tv's
<R0SS1> seriously
<R0SS1> i'm gonna get one for cheap ass fuck
<R0SS1> as
<R0SS1> lol
<here4ever> lol
<Bearxor> lol

#44677 +(232)- [X]

<Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I know my tax money goes to it.
<Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot them?
<qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail card do you get to take a raft ride
<arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game, where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of pixels representing a buffalo
<Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card, Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car

#44685 +(197)- [X]

*Duck has joined #linux
<Duck> does anyone know how to fix my harddisk memory when i get the error: After you restart your system, check that you have sufficient hard disk memory secured.
<@Cradly> Duck try not filling your hard drive 100%
<Duck> how do i not do that

#44686 +(173)- [X]

<Abbazab> okay, next time ur with a chick and ur bumpin and grindin, give a nice rub right where the leg meets the croch and tell me that sweat doesnt smell like the back of ur nuts
<datagram`> why the fuck would you want to smell the back of your nuts while you're fucking

#44693 +(438)- [X]

<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off??

#44695 +(-26)- [X]

<durn> are u _the_ r0b0c0d?
<r0b0c0d> yes bish
<durn> omfg everyone is talking about u, u ddos attacking dalnet??
<r0b0c0d> is the pope fuckin old?

#44700 +(230)- [X]

! @Snuffy wonders why jiesal doesnt take the 20mins needed to learn irc
( jiesal ) because i'm a girl

#44705 +(56)- [X]

-ChanServ- (#help) >>>READ THIS<<< AUTH INSTRUCTIONS: /msg authserv@services.gamesnet.net auth <handle> <password>
<Hk> Plz... How do I auth with chanserv?

#44718 +(338)- [X]

<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union centre: priceless

#44724 +(135)- [X]

<dr_qous> it's nice when people call me 'hon'
<kmcwork> hey 'hon', pass me the lube

#44726 +(27)- [X]

-ChanServ- Welcome to #abichat, the asshole of the Internet!

#44730 +(-101)- [X]

<Chris974> my logon on this computer doesnt let my use expolorer or oh thats right ANY FUCKING THING so i have to use my cousin's logon and he is like 6, how demeaning
<DJ_Random> you think THAT'S demeaning?? you should have seen what i did to ya mum last night

#44732 +(297)- [X]

(ratt) is ur sister hot ?
(obo-(a)) she's taken =p
(haze) INCEST

#44733 +(163)- [X]

(@Hanky) does anyone in here no if Tupac Shakur still has a web site?
(@DCx3) yer he updates it regulary

#44735 +(272)- [X]

(@RattX) i almost got a mate hit by a car, he was stoned and i told him there were these really cool stripes in the middle of the road

#44738 +(179)- [X]

CodeMaster007x2: I gotta go play "drums" with my sister..brb

#44755 +(132)- [X]

<Jedateach> anyone in here got a spare xtra dialup account I can use
<_Godless_> lol. yeah ... sure ... no realy ... have my first born too while yer at it.

#44758 +(931)- [X]

<Llarack>  You are what you eat ^_^
<Iskandor>  I AM NOT A PUSSY
<Iskandor>  >_>
<Kletian>  yeah, you're a dick.

#44760 +(345)- [X]

<fiveiron> where is that new space software
<fiveiron> that lets you fly through the universe
<la_haine> i think that's more commonly known as 'LSD'

#44769 +(200)- [X]

<humble> for every job there is an appropriate tool
<anal-ease> that's what she told me
<anal-ease> as she pulled out the 12" dildo

#44774 +(327)- [X]

<NS85> back, i had this fuckin white stuff on my lip
<Red185> .. Well i COULD say something distasteful like, "is that milk on your lip or are you back in buisness?" but i wont.
<NS85> Gee thanks.
<Red185> Np!

#44775 +(160)- [X]

<-- Samah has quit (Quit: public boolean hasALife() return false;)

#44788 +(101)- [X]

(RattX) my mate got slapped by a fat chick today
(RattX) she came up to us and asked him how fat people have sex and if they have to pull the flab up
(RattX) he turned around and said :"you should know u fat bitch"

#44795 +(33)- [X]

<ibor132> on irc, if you dont have a picture you are automaticly a 50 year old man with a bucket of KFC in one hand and your dick in the other
<mulletman13> but in reality they are 45 year old x-con child rapists who get off to you...

#44799 +(442)- [X]

<mycroft> I just got an email about getting access to 230,000 porno sites… I'll see you guys tomorrow.

#44800 +(308)- [X]

<az__> fuck I think I drank plaster
<mc> you drank plaster?
<az__> well theres something in my water
<mc> that could be interesting.. you might crap out a perfect model of your intestines :P

#44804 +(74)- [X]

<Goten> hello i have this problem i had this floppy disc and i had my modules on it but when i put it down and put a magnet on it, the disc was corrupt? what could have happened

#44806 +(9)- [X]

<Derian> Guys, I'll be back in a few minutes. My bedroom's on fire.
<Bryan_Clark> I don't know what's worse... the fact that it's on fire, or the fact that she actually took the time to *tell* us that it's on fire.....

#44807 +(584)- [X]

<PamelaPeaks> i love when you start at a computer screen for a long time and words start to meld...
<PamelaPeaks> so the "Harry Potter Box Set" becomes the "Harry Potter Sex Bot"

#44809 +(208)- [X]

<blender> mmm halloween candy
<BloodNose> kid
<blender> adult
<sevr> sounds like a match made in nambla to me
* BloodNose moves closer to blender
* blender runs in horror

#44810 +(434)- [X]

<moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!Class::function()) { cout << "error\n"; exit(-1);  }
<moe_> but it is not working
<moe_> it prints error

#44820 +(1060)- [X]

<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?

#44823 +(397)- [X]

X3R0G33Z: wut do u mean typing like an aol dumbass

#44830 +(333)- [X]

<Rayne> I need to talk to you about the amount of time your spending "IRL"
<Rayne> how do you know you can trust these "IRL" friends
<Rayne> have you /ns infoed them?

#44831 +(717)- [X]

<yarokod> does alcohol remove permanent ink from a cd?
<defused> dunno...it does remove clothes on young females tho

#44841 +(427)- [X]

<Apollo-> ok, now this is messed up...I work on the 8th floor, I got on the elevator on 1, I was the only person on.  I farted, the elevator stops at 2 and someone gets on and rides all the way up to 6
<TenBaseT> I hate that.
<TenBaseT> did you try to cover?
<Apollo-> No, but I thought about it
<Apollo-> he had a bag of burger king food, I almost said "Man, your food reeks"

#44851 +(170)- [X]

<Nope> I wonder if IRCops know what a wingate is?
*** Quits: Nope (Nope@sju-12-16-46-200.prw.net) (Killed (OperServ))
<@^_-> APPARENTLY.

#44862 +(287)- [X]

<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin that

#44865 +(520)- [X]

<+Spoofthemonkey> hello?
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<+Spoofthemonkey> can you guys see what i am typing?
<@[TSE]yanki> no
<@[SHQ]AgentAndy_eating> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> ? seriously?
<@[TSE]yanki> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> what can i do to change it so you can see what i type?
<@[TSE]yanki> i dunno, maybe if you leave it will get fixed
Spoofthemonkey «jirc@cs24174148-203.satx.rr.com» has Quit iRC

#44867 +(52)- [X]

<Peter> Can I help you John?
<HuH> just call me father penis
<Peter> In that case, call me Lorena Bobbit.
* Peter sets mode: +b *!*Da@*.ath.bellsouth.net
* HuH was kicked by Peter (Bye!)

#44868 +(307)- [X]

<|-|LoD|-|> What website?
<danno> one of my side employments
<danno> redesigning the website for a dance studio
<danno> my girlfriend is a teacher there
<|-|LoD|-|> ooh
<|-|LoD|-|> Dancers are flexible ^_^
<danno> ya
<danno> but they can also kick hard >_<

#44882 +(446)- [X]

<StorDuff> meatball, we should start a channel for n00bs like us
<Meatball> htf do u make a channel

#44892 +(560)- [X]

<htedrom> o youz b3 1 d3d m0th4fuck4
<Cyrus> ladies and gentlemen, i point out the product of today's society
* Cyrus points to htedrom
* nullroot slaps a "As Seen On MTV" sticker on htedrom


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