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#42383 +(394)- [X]

<Nailbomb> ugggh, I swear I'm gonna be seeing pixels for the next week, can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow
<Demigoat> yeah
<Demigoat> so you can look at the sand
<Demigoat> and go
<Demigoat> "hmm, those look like pixels"

#42384 +(52)- [X]

<Supachikn> i've been getting off on my moving-to-japan thing lately
<Supachikn> so asianthumbs.org is in my cache for the last few days
<Supachikn> :(
<Demigoat> move to tokyo and become a porn star
<Demigoat> "Chen Hung Long"

#42385 +(191)- [X]

<Supachikn> square and sony are based in japan
<Supachikn> and heaps of other game devs
<Supachikn> and anime
<Supachikn> and hot chicks
<Supachikn> and rally cars
<Supachikn> and nice motorcycles
<Demigoat> and all night whale-meat buffets!

#42386 +(118)- [X]

(nark): under age girls in pvc... sigh
(nark): only in japan

#42388 +(31)- [X]

<ZeroHour> that NYLUG looked decent
<ZeroHour> if we did a Mississippi LUG
<ZeroHour> it would be a buncha grungy ass rednecks
<ZeroHour> with ghetoo laptops and paintless rides
<ZeroHour> rides where the paint peeled off
<ZeroHour> rides with different colors on each panel of the body of the vehicle

#42390 +(929)- [X]

Thainthallas: oh... so... the other night, i go into software etc.
Thainthallas: and i walk up and say "i want to reserve a copy of metroid prime"
Thainthallas: the guy starts trying to talk to me about the game, and asking stuff like if i was "really excited to see the new metroid"
Thainthallas: i said "well... I'm really not sure about the whole thing, but the girlfriend said 'me wantie' so I buyie"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants metroid prime?"
Thainthallas: "yes, yes she does"
Thainthallas: "she also says i need to buy vice city"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants vice city?"
Thainthallas: by now, i start to realize that he's getting a little jealous
Thainthallas: so i just say "yeah, and she's hot, too!"

#42391 +(203)- [X]

<@Phillip> so
<@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me
<@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)
<@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to
<@Phillip> p is pi
<@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk
<@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is

#42395 +(240)- [X]

<][Omen][> This is the wierdest channel I've seen in a long time
<Fahr> YES! it IS Omen! and you know WHY???
<][Omen][> erm ... no Fahr
<Fahr> about a week ago, all the members of this channel won a lifetime supply of pure LSD acid!
<Fahr> they put it into a nice infuse and directly into the spinal cord!
<][MoC][Gk> mmmmmmmmm superman :p
<Fahr> GODS WE'RE STONED!
<][Omen][> erm ... pure LSD acid would kill you
<Fahr> yes, most of us are also dead...

#42402 +(301)- [X]

<Enderski> redheads are nuts
<Badtz> I like my girls nuts

#42403 +(133)- [X]

<SA-Thrillias> Watching porn is... different on 1600x1200.
<SA-NiteFox> You'll go blind.  Really.  With all the squinting.

#42404 +(251)- [X]

<Nago> i wonder what the chemical formula for warez is
<n[a]naki> Nago: W Ar Es
<n[a]naki> Tungsten, Argon, Einsteinium

#42408 +(91)- [X]

<TML> simon-: You're single, aren't you?
<simon-> TML, yes, why?
<TML> simon-: I can tell by the fact you think in terms of
'TML->wife'
<octatron> TML: would you have used TML['wife']? :P
<TML> octatron: No. I'd use wife->TML

#42433 +(351)- [X]

<Wevah> BUY YOUR COMMUNION WAFERS NOW!
<Wevah> SMALL
<Wevah> MEDIUM
<Wevah> LARGE
<Wevah> WHOLE JESUS SIZE

#42440 +(258)- [X]

<plod> i love wireless network card and laptop
<plod> u aint lived till youve irced on the toilet

#42453 +(732)- [X]

<aurikan> i got a pre-broken AOL cd in the mail today
<aurikan> how considerate of them
<aurikan> they saved me the trouble of breaking it

#42465 +(283)- [X]

<@Miz> Buffys on. You told me to remind you, Porn-Star.
<@Porn-Star> erm i dont like buffy???
<@Cheez> you gay or something?
<@Porn-Star> no i think its boring and predictable
<@Cheez> ok ill rephrase. do you like sarah michelle geller?
<@Porn-Star> of course!
<@Porn-Star> look anyone who doesnt like "that scene" in cruel intentions is a bit weird
<@Miz> the one where the guy is naked in the pool?

#42496 +(158)- [X]

WhitePony) I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable modem, where do i download the patch?

#42544 +(203)- [X]

<Joe_> I know a girl who's being cheated on, yet she is oblivious to it.
<Joe_> It's funny, until I realize I'm dating her.

#42549 +(565)- [X]

Jesus: my girl mastrabates more then i do
Finque: seeing as how your girl is your hand, i'd like to hear you explain that one

#42550 +(190)- [X]

<RahRaH> hey theres an idea
<RahRaH> to keep my mum off the computer i can paint all of the keys black

#42551 +(479)- [X]

*** Yukanojo sets mode: +b stupid!people@everywhere
(Yukanojo): PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK
*** Renegade_R (renegade_@24.101.100.99) has joined #help
(Yukanojo): Damn, didn't work
(Renegade_R): what?

#42565 +(220)- [X]

<Mal> I was hoping for a mod chip on my dick so I can screw foreign chicks

#42573 +(321)- [X]

<FFGnome> I got an E-mail from someone weird who wants to protect my Domain Name.
<FFGnome> I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE! ^_^
<Hellspawn> Send them someone elses domain
<Hellspawn> tell them its already been stolen
<Hellspawn> and you will sign up if they get you it back

#42586 +(447)- [X]

<Codek> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
<Codek> You're a Siamese twin. Your brother is gay and you're not.
<Codek> But you only have the one ass.

#42587 +(312)- [X]

<RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
<RushMore> guess what he said
<RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"

#42594 +(176)- [X]

<@TheWongOfBisdom> (4288) IN WHICH RANGE OF HILLS ARE THE CHEDDAR CAVES ?
<@TheWongOfBisdom> Hint: @@@@@@@
<+CapeTownJunk> mendips
<@TheWongOfBisdom> Nice going CapeTownJunk! The answer was MENDIPS. You got it in 4.692 seconds.
<+CapeTownJunk> what a gay name
<SuperFlea> what?
<+SuperFlea> mine?
<+CapeTownJunk> no, mendips
<+CapeTownJunk> it's like having savoury crackers, and dipping them in semen

#42597 +(-84)- [X]

<Supachikn> i'm on bash.org
<Supachikn> FAMOURS
<Supachikn> err
<Supachikn> famous
<Supachikn> ILLITERATE

#42598 +(217)- [X]

<Aussiedog> lol you know what happend in myers the otherday
<Aussiedog> i was in there and i go.. wow this is a cool cd, *talks to shopkeeper* hey what is this cd
<Aussiedog> she gives me it and asks me if i am interested in buying
<Aussiedog> and i go nar.. i just wanna kniow what songs are on it so i can download them
<Aussiedog> she was so pissed

#42599 +(249)- [X]

(Circastes) hmm
(Circastes) i want to watch tomb raider
(Circastes) but i just jacked off
(Circastes) so it wont be very interesting

#42600 +(375)- [X]

(cow) like if you translate the shit she said into one sentence
(cow) it was pretty much
(cow) i want cock
(cow) man i shoulda put quotes round that

#42602 +(95)- [X]

--- Bigchris[porn] is now known as Bigchris
<Bigchris> damn i hate this weather
<Bigchris> cant get it up

#42606 +(464)- [X]

<Rossell1> weird thing happened last night
<Rossell1> I had a dream where I was on IRC
<Rossell1> and everybody kept saying potatoes
<ASk> potatoes
<Winquman> potatoes
<Rossell1> :/
<Phobius> Tomato

#42607 +(105)- [X]

<@Slasher1> on the subject of porn, it seems like JT has been 'away' for a fair while

#42625 +(6)- [X]

*** Quits: Noirgrim (I sold my kids for cheese)

#42626 +(261)- [X]

<CapnCloud> i have a screenshot coming... it's coming... hrrrrrghhhh
<ashen|nekogirl> O.O
* ashen|nekogirl backs far far away from CapnCloud
<CapnCloud> XD
<ashen|nekogirl> >.o
<plubeard> ....screenshots have never sounded so dirty

#42629 +(22)- [X]

<Nagosaki>   ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;lkjh/;.lmnbv bnm./'"?:>,mcv b m,/."
<Nagosaki> "?VGbm/'
<Nagosaki> sorry
<Nagosaki> wiping off keyboard

#42634 +(103)- [X]

<|42|-D> i just had one of those farts where u pause after and think... "oh shit did i follow through"

#42636 +(173)- [X]

<gleep> Damn.  The internet must be screwed up.
<gleep> You know there's something wrong when you can't download porn.

#42643 +(492)- [X]

*** WFTP-Stats has entered[#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> sux my dick
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> losers
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
<Loman> weeeee
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> lazy bastards
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> alright im sorry
<WFTP-Stats> help me with my php now plz

#42648 +(154)- [X]

<SeXaH> damn i broke my g-string
<SeXaH> oh hrmz
<SeXaH> that looks bad
<SeXaH> i ment the g-string from my guitar

#42653 +(400)- [X]

<aq> dont ever tryu to beets a yiugolsavian at tequikla

#42656 +(176)- [X]

<Anarchos> my mom went to old navy and bought me all these clothes
<Rance> and now you have to dress like a dork?
<Anarchos> yeah :(

#42657 +(566)- [X]

<Kosh> Wait for the LotR cereal to come out... Frod-O's, with a free prize ring inside

#42660 +(132)- [X]

* TRIPtych2 realizes that danno must be drunk
<danno> I don't drink thank you very much.
<danno> :/
<TRIPtych2> shit, i was hoping it was just the alcohol talking and not you
<TRIPtych2> :/
<danno> I'll take that as an insult, kthx

#42662 +(194)- [X]

<ian> I have done it. Zidane you are stupid. End
<Zidane> dude im a 13 year old with the iq of a adult
<Zidane> it is you who is the dumb
<ian> it's "an adult"
<ian> and IQs for adults vary widely
<Zidane> no a
<ian> what you say means absolutely nothing.
<ian> NO, it's AN
<Zidane> i mean all!!
<Stuntman21> What a fucking retard
<xXkenXx> its AN
<Zidane> an....then
<Stuntman21> AN is proper grammer you dumb motherfucker
<xXkenXx> d00d,
<xXkenXx> theres a vowel
<Zidane> ....yep
<ian> " i r 13 and supar smar!"

#42663 +(76)- [X]

<@JE> Hosting: $5 per month. Domain name: $15, your site being down twice a week: Priceless.

#42666 +(21)- [X]

<MrSaturn> AHHHHHHHHHh
<MrSaturn> it blew up in a freak accident
<MrSaturn> i must restard my computer is on fire
<MrSaturn> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
* MrSaturn has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<poik007> seems funny

#42678 +(365)- [X]

<danhon> overheard in the lab:
<danhon> "try doing javac first before you do java"
<Cringer> hahaha
<danhon> "what does that do?"
<danhon> "dunno, but it works"

#42684 +(172)- [X]

<cstine> my libido pretty much vanished after i gave up porn.
<cstine> not that it's a bad thing.
<cstine> i don't have to do as many sheets in the laundry now.
<cstine> or towels.

#42687 +(234)- [X]

(Tome): GRRRGH MAKE ME A MOD SO I CAN KICKBAN YOU
(griph): you mean an OP?
(Tome): thatssaone
(Tome): I WANT AN AMPERSAND
(griph): you mean an AT


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