#42037 +(496)- [X]
<Arno^QS> Intel Inside: The world's most widely distributed warning label
#42056 +(378)- [X]
*** ROFOL is now known as AOLROCKS
<AOLROCKS> What a surprise
<AOLROCKS> Not taken
#42060 +(753)- [X]
<ThelegendarySCM> me and my buds lit a car on fire once- kinda by accident
<ThelegendarySCM> but it was fun to watch the gas tank blow up.
<Artanis> :-) where did this happen?
<ThelegendarySCM> we were out playing pranks on one of our friends when we saw our principles's car- he was a TOTAL ass, and we all hated him. Was a drop top, and the dude left the top open. We climbed n and started fucking with the car, when somehow the cifggarette lighter wnt itm goit red hot, fell out and lit the floormats ablaze
<ThelegendarySCM> Never ran so fast from anything in my life. After we got about 2 miles away we turned just in time to see the gas tank go.
<Artanis> and uhh, you never got caught?
<ThelegendarySCM> nope. No one saw us(for some wierd reason)
<ThelegendarySCM> Man, that dude was HEATED the day after at school. He dragged us all into the auditorium and we spent 6 hours there. I mean the whole school, in a crowded auditorium, and he wouldnt lets us leave until someone confessed. No one did, and when school did end the superintendent was waiting for the principal. He was promptly fired for keepoing us in that room for 6 hours.
<ThelegendarySCM> Talk about insult after injury.
#42062 +(220)- [X]
<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew "cd .."
#42064 +(512)- [X]
<MechaDragonX> it's a time of akwardness for everyone
<MechaDragonX> not yet and adult but not a child
<MechaDragonX> you all got things to work out within yourselves and it is confusing as hell
<MechaDragonX> everyone has to do it
<MechaDragonX> any kind of relationship has complications
<MechaDragonX> humans are idiosyncratic by nature
* MechaDragonX rereads what he justwrote and realizes it sounds like a Britney Spears song
* MechaDragonX shoots himself
* MechaDragonX relaizes he doens't have a gun and just tried to kill himself with a ham sandwhich
#42066 +(335)- [X]
<Artanis> ok, nobody ever told me when its better to use static memory
<Artanis> thats why i do everything w/ pointers
<Veldhar[GD]> heh, don't tell me
<Veldhar[GD]> you do horrible things like
<Veldhar[GD]> int *i = new int;
<Veldhar[GD]> for (*i=0; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't continue writing
<Veldhar[GD]> too awful
<Veldhar[GD]> my fingers are burning
<Veldhar[GD]> my eyes are bleeding
* Veldhar[GD] dies
#42089 +(21)- [X]
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> ok if you're going to hunt fellow dorm members to feed on, would you get a girl, fuck her then eat her? My friend wouldn't b/c he'd feel like she'd be tainted
<lrrl> Gotta add the cream filling
<lrrl> everyone knows that
<XX01XX> I don't think I'd be comfortable with having sex with something I planned on eating
<lrrl> XX01XX trust me it tastes better that way
<XX01XX> it's a perversion of the predator-prey relationship
<XX01XX> either be a sexual predator or a regular one.
<XX01XX> or at least wait 45 minutes between roles
<lrrl> how about 31 and you kill them first?
<XX01XX> oh... well, if they're already dead, that's different... then you're just tenderizing the meat
<lrrl> now you tell me....solves all my problems then
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> he won't even do it with a condom, says the smell would taint it
<XX01XX> (nonoxynol-9 on your steak)--
<XX01XX> if it's dead you don't even have to use the vagina... there are probably other newly created holes to be used
#42094 +(328)- [X]
<cursedgenie> damn it i have pins and needles in my foot
<Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?
#42095 +(86)- [X]
<Draco889> Chickengod got caught masturbating in school
<Cunnilingus> in his class ?
<Draco889> not sure
<Draco889> its not easy i can tell you that
<Cunnilingus> maybe he just masturbated in the toilets
<Draco889> i wonder how he fit bolth feet in
#42100 +(133)- [X]
<namesis> HELLO GUYS SPEAK ME ASS HOLES PLEASE AND FAST OR I LEAVE
#42105 +(231)- [X]
<Orion> Among the impressive range of Durex products you'll find are three new exciting condoms - Sensation, Close Fit and Classic.
<Orion> oh goody, three NEW EXCITING condoms
<goldberg> put them all on at once
<goldberg> you get a classic close fit sensation
#42109 +(111)- [X]
<sumluzr> anime is part of a japanese conspiracy to lower the collective intelligence of america!
<sumluzr> um... never mind, it can;'t get anuy lower ;)
#42110 +(339)- [X]
<@MudBlud> man i love signing upto vBulletin forums, when its ur bday they email u and it makes you feel like you have friends
#42116 +(1264)- [X]
[orion] my knife just beeped like a cellphone when i touched it
[orion] time to lay off the booze
[orion] it was three electronical tones
[orion] it went
[orion] bo BO BOOP
[cmplx] don't answer it.
#42117 +(594)- [X]
<cuebol> very disturbing when she screams LOL LOL LOL in bed :~(
#42118 +(435)- [X]
<ThaiLand> what time is it ?
<@nimper> tool time
#42119 +(205)- [X]
<weechee> <--- is now 7.5 months preggers member?
<ThndrWolf> awwwww suck. How'd that happen?
#42120 +(-104)- [X]
<@cbf> i was going to bash.org
<@cbf> theres none pending
<BenZor> omg omg omg
<BenZor> submit somethign
#42121 +(24)- [X]
<SteamedHams> what's that euphemism for getting really good head?
<SteamedHams> chumming the bung?
#42122 +(473)- [X]
<cian> I'm gonna call you and hit on your wife
<Nictathan> I'm divorced
<Nictathan> go for it
#42127 +(554)- [X]
<InvisableGuy> you cant get drunk at my place no more
<dope^fish> aw why not?
<InvisableGuy> remember last time? you broke my fucking couch
<dope^fish> hehe shame :) i owned ur couch :0
<InvisableGuy> wel, i owned it, but u broke it.
#42150 +(636)- [X]
<Brentai> "Quake traps children in Italy school, 3 die" Something needs to be done about those violent video games!
#42159 +(507)- [X]
<patches> I like pussy better than drugs
<patches> I've never heard of an OD off pussy
<octane--> its called A CHILD
#42196 +(1083)- [X]
<DVS01> i read about some unix server dying every night
<DVS01> so the techs stayed overnite drinking coffee to see why it dies every nite
<DVS01> then they see the maid come in, unplug the server, plug in the vacuum, vacuum the floor, replug the server and leave.
#42204 +(169)- [X]
<@sequence> linux has its place
<@sequence> if nothing else, it keeps the morons out of *BSD
[S+Z] CTCP VERSION reply from sequence: ircII EPIC4-0.9.2-ssl Linux 2.2.16-3 - Accept no limitations.
#42211 +(151)- [X]
<Kevyn> Frogs always get sucked up into our pool filter, and if you go out to the shed you can see them flying around inside the filter. The suction usually turns them inside out. It's pretty gross.
#42221 +(1322)- [X]
<@jestuh> i was like "i'm never going to get used to getting SHOT AT"
* Quits: jestuh (Connection reset by peer)
* Joins: jestuh
<@jestuh> what was last line you got before disconnect?
<@_ace> <jestuh> anal sex used to hurt at first, but i learned how to relax my muscles
#42241 +(239)- [X]
<Darf> hendrix = god
<WwW> name somthing good hendrix has done the past.. ehmm.. 5 years
#42247 +(432)- [X]
* ArSa is not a scsi expert :\
* slurpee was a scsi expert until they came out with 134533109 flavors of it
slurpee: like ULTRA 2 WIDE MEGA XL ALPHA STREET FIGHTER SCSI
#42256 +(416)- [X]
<[Frank]> -=- Frank's Radio -=- 22.214.171.124:17714 -=- Now Playing: Terra Branford Theme - Piano STYLE! :D -=- Always Taking Requests!
<`Frieza> i request you go get hit by a car
#42262 +(1451)- [X]
<parnbl00d> I've been questioning my sexuality for a while, but my family's all conservative and stuff, so I don't wanna come out with it to them
<naga> parn: go to goatse.cx
* parnbl00d goes
<parnbl00d> thanks, that'll keep me straight for the next 20 years
<naga> no problem
#42266 +(252)- [X]
<Hardlined> badtz just the man I wanted to see
<Badtz> I didn't do it
#42283 +(310)- [X]
<draxx> my friend has an mirc script that will delete any channel
<draxx> or server
<draxx> ive been trying to get it
<draxx> from him
<XenoWolf> you cant delete channels..
<draxx> oh yah
<draxx> you dont understand
<draxx> this kids a hardcore
#42288 +(150)- [X]
<wishkah> what is is with white fucken vehicles and crimes
#42291 +(121)- [X]
<hitman> I need a girl that doesn't drink
<RageFury> hitman: Then how the hell are you gonna slip her that rufie? On her juicy juice box?
#42294 +(387)- [X]
Chris: im looking at the stileporn popup
Chris: and this girl looks like my sister =/
Propain: Bet yer beating off to it right now
Chris: yeah =/
Chris: well, its not REALLY her
#42321 +(735)- [X]
<inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
<LZ> what does it do?
<inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I TYPED BEFORE
<LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
<inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
#42325 +(78)- [X]
< avoozl> what port did i need again for dns
< avoozl> its not 'domain' is it?
< rigel> 53
< rigel> both udp and tcp
< avoozl> hm i have those
< avoozl> thats odd
< rigel> clippy says: "I see you need some network help! Would you like me to: * search the help files for 'dns setup', * open internet explorer to msdn.microsoft.com"
#42327 +(49)- [X]
<[Lemmy]> hey btw where r u?
<[Lemmy]> aww... after all that bash.org stuff I first read that as 'vagina'
#42331 +(583)- [X]
<Dezzy> actually i was looking for girlie porn for my boyfriend
<Beerman> you're a girlie
<Beerman> you can MAKE girlie porn!
<Dezzy> hm.... true...
#42347 +(159)- [X]
<sayza> Bug: Popup menus appear in strange places
<sayza> Resolution: Turn off "smart window placement"
#42348 +(88)- [X]
<piro> well, irc is the realm of dictatorships, not democracy
#42349 +(46)- [X]
<HentaiZonga> MY LIFE IS A CROTCH!!!
#42357 +(771)- [X]
<Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im. It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla led."
#42359 +(121)- [X]
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.
#42363 +(562)- [X]
<Sorrow> DOWN WITH PANTS! UP WITH SKIRTS!
#42372 +(421)- [X]
<PropWash> I really was hoping I could be 'special enough' for an exception..but alas..im full of myself ;>
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I'm full of many things.
<Karnophage> Like a Pinata
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Very close, actually.
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Except I'm not surrounded by little kids with bludgeons, hoping to consume my innards.
<PropWash> quick, gimmie a stick
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> GET AWAY FROM MY ENTRAILS!!!
#42376 +(0)- [X]
<Daedalus> But you cannot, however, suck human excrement out of spaghetti, no matter how hard you try.
#42381 +(85)- [X]
<decoder> can somebody turn of this heavy lag?
#42382 +(650)- [X]
<Supachikn> Demigoat, you and i are onthe same wavelength
<Supachikn> or at least frequency
<Demigoat> if you and I were ethernet cards attached to a hub our frames would never collide!
<Supachikn> if you and i were polarised light waves we'd be fuckin lazer beams!
<Demigoat> Turtles, The - So Happy Together.mp3
<Demigoat> I <3 supa
<Supachikn> i less than three you too, demi