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#40572 +(345)- [X]

<Kyle> So you're going to be responsible for 65 Windows 2000 Desktops *WITHOUT* a Windows 2000 Domain.
<Kyle> Run for the hills, boy.
<Kyle> Run for the fucking hills.

#40577 +(82)- [X]

<Suparmono> its a dilemma, i dont ask girls out. No, there is only one way to go about this
<tynka> oerr.. and what's that?
<Suparmono> NONCONCENTUAL INTERCOURSE
<Suparmono> except spell consent with an S

#40582 +(11)- [X]

<Isengard> the www is BOOOOOORING!
<Isengard> ah.. no.... there's life in the old dog yet!

#40583 +(37)- [X]

<q|x> with an ' on the e
<q|x> well you know
<q|x> like a slanty thing
<Suparmono> slanty?
<Suparmono> we dont want them here thanks
<Suparmono> unless you mean people will crippled legs
<Suparmono> we'll shove them out of the way
<Suparmono> somewhere

#40584 +(-19)- [X]

<DeathscytheFish> Jessica, i'm not kidding, all the gay people my mom work with were going apeshit over it
<Kevyn> Why does your mom work with so many gay people?
<DeathscytheFish> Kevyn, she works at a hospital
<Kevyn> Oh. AIDS ward?

#40586 +(164)- [X]

<Jermsnap> Seen the new projector cell phones? they project their screen on the ground or a wall with lasers, up to a 20inch "screen"
<danno> that sounds incredibly useless
<Jermsnap> not at all, those screens are tiny, cant really do shit on em, now thats solved, also I believe it will make humans LOOK more futuristic.
<danno> oOOOoh...
<danno> it would make a little more sense to see that on a PDA...
<Jermsnap> PDA phones, same thing soon
<Jermsnap> I dont have a cell phone, but if I could project stuff on stuff, Id get one :)
<Jermsnap> PDA's are usaeless to a loner like me, dun work, no friends, what the hell would I put on there?
<danno> then what would you need a damn cellphone for?
<Jermsnap> hmmm... good point
<Jermsnap> :(

#40592 +(175)- [X]

* Sotek would also like to know what the fuck anyone is doing raising six children. >_<
<Ark> Sotek - Obviously not birth control pills.

#40593 +(233)- [X]

<Poutremos> Win98 / Win98se CD
<Suparmono> i located dad's copy
<Suparmono> so you want me to bring it tomorrow?
<Suparmono> or want me to copy it on to 340 5-1/4" floppy disks?

#40594 +(316)- [X]

<Reeve> Every freaking time I ask for a Big Kid's Meal at this one Burger King they give me a Kid's Meal
<Reeve> WHERE'S THE BIG YOU COCKSUCKERS?!
<Elmina> The big is in your pants.
<Reeve> Damn right it is
<Reeve> But I'd appreciate it if it could also be in my burger once in a while
<Elmina> Reevey wants to have sex with burgers! :>

#40606 +(150)- [X]

<Elmina> IRC politics are exactly like junior high politics, only they make less difference in the real world.

#40653 +(121)- [X]

<fredrik> i once slipped while wanking
<fredrik> hurt my head badly

#40692 +(167)- [X]

[ @Paula ] i used to have a teacher
[ @Paula ] who gave us something to suck on for brain stimulation.

#40716 +(34)- [X]

<Lina> Women are like cars.. if you want optimal performance, you have to warm them up. :P

#40725 +(498)- [X]

<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.

#40728 +(354)- [X]

<nach0king> "i had a gay time at the zoo today" - is that a slur?
<@Technogeek> Depends what 'gay' is supposed to mean. It could mean either a good time, or that you got assraped by one of the animals.

#40735 +(227)- [X]

<Ronwe> wtf.. I'm ignoring this commercial on the TV behind me and then it says..
<Ronwe> "you can beat your beef. OR you can watch Britney Day"
<Maur> WTF
<Ronwe> I think I'm going to beat my beef *while* watching Britney Day

#40743 +(318)- [X]

<td> i use my webcam as a mirror
<td> i dont have a mirror
<td> :|
<td> damn i am a geek

#40750 +(670)- [X]

<yah-yah> what is CAPS ABUSE?
<Nyarlathotep-> half of your question

#40751 +(34)- [X]

<Lexcanium> Oh, didn't you know? Microsoft buys random domain names and has them point to their main page. It's part of their new marketing strategy of monopolizing the internet, since they con't do so as well with OSs anymore. ;-)

#40766 +(248)- [X]

<Cam> its good thing kids don't get all their sex ed from porn flicks, cuz its more difficult to conceive when you always blow your load on her face.

#40772 +(25)- [X]

<concordia> i dare the zionist to end the intifada
<concordia> long live intifada
<milez> concordia, leave the sovereign territory of our holy channel.
<milez> NOW.
* FireWALLs sets mode: +b *!*@207.134.74.190
* concordia was kicked by Pazit (Banned)

#40779 +(376)- [X]

<Chris> DeMonYus!cyrus@a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.p.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.xy-z.org <-- prime example of why some people should NEVER be able to touch a DNS server

#40787 +(464)- [X]

<patchmonkey> I want to start a line of sex toys called "I Can't Believe It's Not Dick"

#40791 +(680)- [X]

<MadManDaz> I bought one of those camouflage shirts and put it in my closet. Now I can't find it.

#40798 +(201)- [X]

<Phucker> I just tried moving a box on my bed with my mouse
<Phucker> :/

#40800 +(401)- [X]

<Mach17> i haev the firewall up
<@Curator> firewall, what kind?
<Mach17> redhat 7.2 :o
<@Curator> thats a OS you fruitcake
<@Curator> not a firewall
<Mach17> stfu newb
<@Curator> ...

#40803 +(241)- [X]

Dirt Devil351: i found this chic
Dirt Devil351: and she likes porn
Dirt Devil351: alot
ianepson: uh huh
Dirt Devil351: shes horny
Dirt Devil351: i tell ya
Dirt Devil351: dude
Dirt Devil351: she was lookin at a porn site
ianepson: did she ask ur credit card number and offer a three day trial too?

#40811 +(407)- [X]

<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> You know what I saw today that was really sad?
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> We got these quizzes back in US History. They were on some civil war stuff...
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> One of the questions was "What was Lincoln's original reason for fighting the civil war?"
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> This girl behind me had written "To defeat the north."
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> It made my head hurt.
<Yardbomb> Ghand....Those kind of people are fake
<Yardbomb> they must be robots, because there is no fucking way a real person can really be that stupid
* Raxc raises his hand.
<CoMpUdOc> He's got a point there, Yardbomb.

#40815 +(892)- [X]

<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?

#40821 +(126)- [X]

<Eusis> "Where's the Anime opening?"
<KeeperX> between the legs

#40822 +(-7)- [X]

<Tyger>there's something i dont understand...
<Tyger>why is it that some people are just plain stupid...?
<Tyger>i mean... i hate stupid people!
<Tetley>yeah, its a shame women try and play a role other than sex and dishwasher in the world

#40826 +(59)- [X]

<Bateau> how come there's so much illegal kiddy porn on the net but not illegal necro porn?

#40828 +(424)- [X]

[@SI-pHluid]: ::: You successfully sent (Brazillian Horse Sex.mpg) (54.83MB) to (si-sonder) in (33m 18s) at (28.1KB/s)
[@SI-pHluid]: er.
[@SI-pHluid]: ignore that.
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: ROFLMAO
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: asdkf;mhsdFHG@$%^@$%^@$%^YRG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: NEW QUIT MSG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: askfgsdfGSE%^$W%^#$6
[@SI-pHluid]: /clear :|

#40833 +(287)- [X]

<Kuros> ya, but your in canada...
<Error_404> it's colder... but we get to fuck 14 year olds
<Error_404> so it evens out

#40840 +(152)- [X]

<Error_404> hmm... they seem to be covert snackfoods...
<Error_404> hostess/frito-lay denies their existance
<Cache_> see, they suck so much you can't even find shit about them on the internet
<Cache_> goatse is on the internet and canadian potato chips aren't
<Cache_> tells you something about the chips, man...

#40854 +(293)- [X]

<ultr0s> i think in the whole sense of the "information superhighway", my isp ended up driving a yugo down some dirt road

#40856 +(207)- [X]

*** NormDragon has quit IRC (Quit: c:\dos c:\dos\run run\dos\run)

#40877 +(330)- [X]

<JynxDaddy> YAY ive finished my Mc Hammer HL model!!
<Threeboy> im gonna pretend you didn't say that.

#40897 +(269)- [X]

<Clara> "Hey, this is the 00s. I wonder if there is irony in the use of "00s?" Is it ironic that there seems to be almost 00 morality in entertainment for teens today? Almost 00 attention to morality by the filmmakers of today. Almost 00 open and honest observance of His Word? Publicly anyway?"
<zeniba> the only significance in the "00s" is that the year now is more reminiscent of boobs than it was before

#40902 +(274)- [X]

<surfer> anyone here
<surfer> how do i set up an irc script : S
<surfer> whats the command
<seven> surfer : there's a limit of 3 stupid questions within the first hour of joining, you've only got 1 left.

#40905 +(67)- [X]

(WillJitsu) how do I tell BitchX to use a certain port range for dcc transfers?
(nyisles) /disco DCCportrange <port1> <portwhatever>
(WillJitsu) hmm  that's not working
(WillJitsu) ACiDDoG is the one running BitchX
() join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) me
(ACiDDoG) so I type:  /disco DCCportrange 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) right?
(shattah) yeah
(nyisles) yes
() signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (DCCportrange 5990 6000)
(WillJitsu) funny joke
(WillJitsu) seriously, how do you change it?
(nyisles) /exec -o yes dcc_port_range num1 num2
(WillJitsu) is that another joke?
(nyisles) No
(nyisles) enough humor for one night
(WillJitsu) -:- No target for this window for -OUT
(nyisles) WillJitsu: you have to be connected first
(nyisles) and i think in a channel as well
() join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
() signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (Excess Flood)

#40907 +(153)- [X]

<trog> one day, I'm gonna find the guy that created polaris, and shove bright colourful things down his throat til he chokes on them

#40911 +(225)- [X]

@j0hn: haha
@j0hn: 35 trojans
j0hn quit (formatting)

#40914 +(432)- [X]

* Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
<mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your script
<Praetorian> yep :-) ta
<milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a bit of action?
<milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum tum  after 1mins 12secs

#40918 +(161)- [X]

* Now talking in #chaoslegion
* Topic is 'UpTime[3 days 4 hrs 42 mins] - on win98, ph33r || [Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[1w 3d 6h 4m 31s] (nuff said) | Linux uptime 194d 02:30:57 (0wned)'

#40922 +(185)- [X]

<Pob> GUYS, EVERYWHERE! I just discovered the best chat up line EVER!:
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

#40924 +(199)- [X]

<TeichDragon> batir, host a Pr0n site ;)
<batir> hrm... My digital camera is teh sux0r
<Gilthas> Not pr0n of YOU.
<Gilthas> Ew.
<TeichDragon> *shudders*

#40925 +(944)- [X]

<@icono> i need to lose 60 pounds, my doctor is getting pissed at me
<@LinkDJ> do you happen to be holding a small mammal?
<@orpal> "as your physician, i strongly recommend that you let go of that 60-pound badger"

#40928 +(254)- [X]

<dingo> so i was talking to k-ron on the phone, telling him about that cop talking shit aobut 'distribution', and he says 'bullshit'!
<dingo> and in the background i hear his sister bitching at him for swearing
<dingo> so he says "shut up, mom says 'shit' all the time!"
<dingo> and her retort is: 'yeah, but you said the WHOLE word!'

#40948 +(160)- [X]

<Kimaroo> the pathetic side of being a nerd: http://www.bash.org/?7755
<Mike`away> bash is back up??
<Kimaroo> no i'm just givin out dead links


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