#40247 +(110)- [X]
<^Jenn^> hard to find good landlords that work with you
<Glyolis> Your landlord works for McDonalds?
#40252 +(522)- [X]
<fRaz0r> there was a guy who ran into a bank with a gun and shouted freeze mother stickers this is a fuckup
<JennyRae> did he get any money?
<fRaz0r> all the people in the bank just laughed and he ran off embarrased lol
<JennyRae> darn... he didnt get any money.....
#40253 +(137)- [X]
<ishmal> im so naiive sometimes, for a while, i thought "Dubya" was some russian guy
#40256 +(1)- [X]
<Hogan> hah some asswipe went to support to ask how to open iso files
#40260 +(233)- [X]
<Bloodshedder> HEY YOUR PENIS IS MISSING
<macvilewhore> HEY I FOUND IT
<macvilewhore> ITS IN YOUR ASS
<Bloodshedder> must be small, i don't feel a thing
#40268 +(365)- [X]
<|YoShi|> FBI just came to my house
<Shorty> when they held up their fbi badge didn't u say somethng heroic
<|YoShi|> yeah i said, hold on let me get dressed
#40271 +(414)- [X]
<luva_bd> i want a dick in my pussy
<luva_bd> oh and a puppy
#40277 +(497)- [X]
<torm_> fuckin gay school tommorow
<Avram`> There is school for that?
#40293 +(392)- [X]
<@CMX> got a speeding ticket the other day
<@CMX> and the fucking asshole cop
<+mootlife> how fast?
<@CMX> insulted my car
<%jdp> wtf... lol
<@CMX> 69 in a 55
<+mootlife> insulted your car?
<@CMX> fucker asked if I had any dead midgets in the trunk implying I have a little car
#40301 +(45)- [X]
<spookshow-away> playing: Various Artists - Track 10
<FadeJade> good track
#40309 +(180)- [X]
<@LordZERO> I used to think a girls butt was forbidden. I was so young, and naive...
#40312 +(262)- [X]
<bbyhewie> my roommate just asked me how to change the font of text in a picture he just downloaded
<PhsyCon> tell him to drop it in notepad :P
<bbyhewie> no, i told him to shut up and stop talking to me
#40313 +(235)- [X]
<Shut^D0wN> one time i called office depot and asked "What kind of RAM do you guys have?" and the guy said "We dont have RAM just memory..."
<Wario64> So what kind of memory did they have?
<Shut^D0wN> I dunno... I think i had an anyerism
#40326 +(172)- [X]
<p1astik> i think i should just dry shave, i mean, the razor is just right here and it saves me a trip to the bathroom
<bugster> but you could get a beer at the same time
<p1astik> tempting...very tempting....oh..the decisions i have to make
#40345 +(205)- [X]
*** Melchior (email@example.com) has joined #allniterz
*** Ass-Mastah sets mode: +a Melchior
<Orlyx> ur hostmsak
<Tripper> Melchior you, my friend, are gay
<Orlyx> what happened?
<Orlyx> *** Melchior (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #allniterz
<Orlyx> lol wtf
<Orlyx> whyd u get that as ur vhost
<Melchior> lol wtf!
<Melchior> i have no idea
<Orlyx> i bet if u quit and come back itll go away
<Melchior> i never saw it
*** Melchior (email@example.com) Quit (Quit: )
<Orlyx> god i love him
#40353 +(350)- [X]
*** Ashy_Boy has joined #rpgfan
<KeeperX> ashton: http://www.goatse.cx
* KeeperX waits
<Ashy_Boy> FUCK YOU
#40360 +(300)- [X]
<MegamanX2K>yeah, the best thing Saddam could do now would be to go to the Un and hold a conference in which he tells then plainly, "The only place you need to send weapons inspectors to is...MY PANTS! Cuz baby I've got a big one stowed away there, ready to launch! Ohhhhh yeah!"
<MegamanX2K>...it's not like he's actually respected to begin with...
#40376 +(396)- [X]
<souletr> god i hate fucking stupid bitches
<souletr> *hate stupid fucking bitches
<souletr> i'd fuck stupid bitches
#40378 +(535)- [X]
<masttime1> i gotta pee
<masttime1> IM SO KILLING MY BROTHER
<masttime1> he put saran wrap on the toilet
<masttime1> and i peed all over my foot
#40380 +(228)- [X]
<Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my walls.
<Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
<Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
<Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
<Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
<Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
#40388 +(809)- [X]
<[CSI]X-Crispy> bagging groceries is like tetris in real life, I realised
#40392 +(194)- [X]
[+Badtz] good sex = the best shit out there
[@orion] what's the bandwidth requirements?
#40393 +(11)- [X]
<oneshadow> hi there, im looking for a guy under 25 to severely and permanently damage my penis, im from ny and will travel, also offering $500 maybe more, lets talk private!!!
#40416 +(463)- [X]
<phr0work> using linux is like using windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head
#40419 +(425)- [X]
<bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
<bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just gets her legs
<bell-chan> you see nothing
<bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried
#40426 +(80)- [X]
<Claud> when you've got enough people pressed up against you so you're reaming someone in the ass, someone's reaming you in the ass and the 3 people on your sides are fondling your testicles, people sweat regardless
#40430 +(167)- [X]
(matthardy) mxlbody: i have been in trouble for irc'ing @ work
(matthardy) mxlbody: like my fat boss came in and there was someone on IRC
(matthardy) going "YOUR FAT BOSS"
(matthardy) and she saw it
(matthardy) she didn't let on , but i saw she was hurt
(matthardy) and i was laughing inside but scared
#40437 +(40)- [X]
* beady husg plastering
<Guilty> I wish I was plastered
<beady> its like hugs, but hornier
<kalypso> in the leg humping sorta way?.
<beady> kalypso, yes
<beady> i hold the leg
<beady> and hump like a bitch :)
<kalypso> tmi! tmi!
#40441 +(234)- [X]
<@CC-Myshra> (Your Mom) + (Your Dad) + (Your Dog) = You
<+[PQ3]UlTiMaTeP> no wonder i like to drink out of the toilet
#40443 +(121)- [X]
<mdl> i think nec uses aperture grille tubes
<mdl> and mitsu
<AlmtyBob> there ar ea few I believe
<RevMarcus> afaik nec and mitsumi both do invar shadow mask
<AlmtyBob> if I wasn't masturbating I'd look on the back of my monitor and tell you
#40456 +(350)- [X]
<PuffinFreshWog> Lord_Lamb: a cop came to our school and said that if two underage ppls fuck, they are, strictly by law, raping eachother
#40460 +(293)- [X]
* SexySam has joined #avision
<Jasper> SexySam: Leave now, while you still can :|
<SexySam> what's up?
<CY666> We talking about first time mastrubation experiences.
* SexySam has left #avision
#40461 +(177)- [X]
<CY666> Yeah, I sticked multiple things in my ass in my life.
<CY666> I even went to look for a virbrator in my GF's stuff once, since I was somehow convinced that she had one. :|
<BUBA_kiNG> fuck.. i never gotto try out a vibrator
<CY666> Me neither, because she didn't posses one.
<CY666> I dried a force-feedback psx controller though.
<CY666> Kind of hard to do...
<CY666> You had to summon those Guardian Forces in FFVIII without the view on your controller, holding one side of the thing firmly, and laying in a weird position on your chair.
<CY666> Didn't give me much satisfaction.
#40463 +(790)- [X]
<Bulbareon> Avalanche prevention goggles.
<Bulbareon> Battery powered battery charger.
<Bulbareon> Braille Drivers' Manual
<FlareonAtma> helicoptor ejection seat
<FlareonAtma> submarine screen window
#40466 +(79)- [X]
<DrNick668> man, a volvo hit me yesterday
<DrNick668> the volvo hit me and it's gunna cost me like 200 bucks or some shit coz it was my fault
<Warkha> was it an old person in the volvo?
<DrNick668> nah, fat chick
<DrNick668> i turned across the traffic and couldn't see her comin
<Prozzy> at least the fat chick didn't hit on you, you woulda had to pay another $200 to make her go away
<Warkha> or throw food
#40470 +(458)- [X]
<billa> rock climbing == need a partner
<billa> maybe ill just join #gym
<billa> join the gym
#40471 +(289)- [X]
* Mike grabs a pitcher of ice cold water
* Mike then pours the ice cold water over narzy
<Mitch_Shrader> i did that to a skunk once. it was educational.
<Mitch_Shrader> the skunk didn't like it much either.
#40472 +(282)- [X]
>>> dsfh [firstname.lastname@example.org] has joined #computers
<dsfh> hey i got 512 ddr ram and my computer is only using...
<dsfh> Memory Usage: (Usage: 197/512MB (38.48%)) º
<dsfh> how do i make it use more?
#40473 +(491)- [X]
<Enrico> do you like your co-workers
<Thibster> I'd like them to leave me alone
<Enrico> have you tried shooting them... I bet you didn't.
<Thibster> no I tried
<Thibster> they respawn
#40474 +(-54)- [X]
<Grimspoon> would you amputate an innocent babie's arm, skin it and use the baby arm skin as a condom in order to save 60 million lives?
<Destrox> you'd get to fuck somone with baby skin to become a hero for earth
<Grimspoon> i'd prolly not skin it, just jab the whole arm on my shlong and the little baby fingers would be like "ribbed for her pleasure"
<Grimspoon> i'd use the baby arm to ass fuck jessepence
<jessepence> ooooh yeah
#40475 +(1236)- [X]
<wirm> going to bed in 15 mins
<wirm> fucking download remain steady
#40476 +(-1)- [X]
<|-|p|> amrit is a h8er
<|-|p|> and what do we do to h8erz in this chan?
<amrit> deop em?
* amrit sets mode: -o |-|p|
* karr sets mode: -o+o amrit |-|p|
<amrit> like that?
<|-|p|> no, we usually don't do anything to haters
<amrit> ooh, heh
* |-|p| sets mode: +o amrit
* karr sets mode: -o amrit
<|-|p|> j00 got revenged ;p
<amrit> faggot ass bot
<amrit> I AM THE FUCKING 0WNER
<|-|p|> that's what j00 get for hating, dawg
<|-|p|> got to be a lover, not a hater
#40477 +(29)- [X]
<chris> aaaaah this class never ends
<chris> i'm bringing headphones next class
<chris> and a zip dick full of oggs
<chris> zip disk
#40479 +(274)- [X]
<Tajar> Just a heads up... I may be gone for a few days
<Tajar> Hurricane Lili is heading our way
<Tajar> and they evacuated the town next to us
<Guildenstern> Back up your harddrive just in case
<Tajar> Guildy, I'm unplugging it. And I have zip disks of the important stuff
<Guildenstern> bout 900
<Kiir> you know you are a computer geek when you have a hurricane headng your way and the first thing you do is backup your harddrive
#40480 +(617)- [X]
* DarkScream watched some kid get hit by a car.
(DarkScream) On his bike too.
(DarkScream) The front end of the bike exploded, i almost got hit by the shrapenal
(DarkScream) I woulda helped.. but.
(DarkScream) I was laughing too hard and stuff.
(DarkScream) I hurt my neck rolling on the ground.
(Vulpes) I feel less bad about laughing when I read about it, now.
(DarkScream) Laughing, of course.
(Riffraff) ...is the kid okay?
(DarkScream) Of course not.
#40482 +(247)- [X]
<j03bl0w> I did a /ignroe *@* CHAN in one window earlier today and only just realised, it worked in every window, and i've had EVERY channel I've been in on ignore today ..
<j03bl0w> No fucking wonder I was bored
<j03bl0w> I just thought "strange, no ones talking today"
<j03bl0w> fucking hell.
#40483 +(275)- [X]
<daimonic> i was standing in the kitchen waiting for my toast for about 2 minutes
<daimonic> stoned out of my head so i just stood there looking at the toaster
<daimonic> then when it finally was done it gave me some fright
#40484 +(172)- [X]
<Dude68> I just spent the last 15 minutes talking to an AI bot
<Homie22m> i think it was like 50 minutes
<Dude68> shhh.. I'm gonna pretend that it was only 15... so I don't sound lame...
#40485 +(30)- [X]
<Tr1v14s3rv314m> 28. tegucigalpa is the capital of ______ ?
<Dr3w529> fuck that.
#40486 +(216)- [X]
<Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
<Soulfly-> YOU THINK ABOUT SEX POSITIONS DONT U?
<simo> i wank
<Croew> oh god
* Croew has quit IRC