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#38831 +(161)- [X]

<Tarl> Never try and whack off to TV commercials btw.
<Tarl> Because eventually, the old republican woman will come on to bitch about demoncrats while you're doing it.
<Tarl> And you'll just explode, in a bad way.

#38833 +(214)- [X]

<Siidu> What's with the best taste thingie on these cans of pepsi? Has anyone done this? And waited for the date?
<Siidu> This one says... March 10th of 2003
<Elexion> .....
<Elexion> I think that's when it expires, Pete. That's why no one waits that long.
<Siidu> Eh..
<Siidu> Okay.
<Siidu> lol.

#38838 +(430)- [X]

<ANonRhymingNick> Messed my english teacher up friday when we were writing that essay..
<ANonRhymingNick> She was like "what school did you come from?" "Live Oak." "Ahh..That's why you don't have a problem with this kind of stuff." "No, I don't have a problem with this stuff because I got most of my education outside of Louisiana" "*silence*"

#38858 +(1931)- [X]

<rompiku> I think I am going to wait until the hacker is in my computer, then I will disconnect from the internet and trap him inside

#38872 +(271)- [X]

* Andrew has quit IRC (Quit: In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.)
<Mank> Andrew's quit makes me want to duct tape him to a tree and rip his eyes out.
<Coco13> But then he wouldn't have his FREEDOM

#38877 +(845)- [X]

<darknation> wtf is the point in storing quotes?
<boris_> darknation: it's like taking a photo in real life :P
<darknation> I wouldn't want photos of retards

#38880 +(171)- [X]

<ComWizz> also, i was thinking that Linux should have a built-in UNIX shell
<ComWizz> because when I once did this: chmod -rwx /bin/sh
<ComWizz> and tried to restart the computer, it wouldn't shut down, so I turned it off
<ComWizz> when i turned it on, it wouldn't boot

#38888 +(283)- [X]

<Doomer> i want to compile some kind of calculater
<Doomer> its my first good program
<fraggle> er what language is it in
<Doomer> uh
<Doomer> wait
<Doomer> english

#38893 +(332)- [X]

@(mhweaver) new philosophy on life:
@(mhweaver) "I may have to share this planet with animals, but I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them."

#38897 +(407)- [X]

<|JKZ|Silvr|3ull3t> truth:  even tho i hav many girlz 2 choose from, i am single b/c i havent found the rite one 4 me
<Mr`K> Translated from nerdspeak: No girls will go out with me

#38901 +(157)- [X]

<bender_> lol.. Like 2 women on PMS
<Khafra> Alright, can someone help me with my actual problem before I start craving chocolate then?
<bender_> (I assume there are no women on this channel...)
*Khafra looks at the extensive list of users
<Khafra> Statistically, probably not

#38918 +(312)- [X]

<XX01XX> What's an interesting website?
<Phlegyas> an oxymoron

#38921 +(101)- [X]

<Zeon> and ya i have a bottle of brut, that stuff smells like crap, i only bought it cus the playboy ad said it would get me sex... anothr broken promise :(

#38925 +(214)- [X]

<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(
<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking

#38926 +(117)- [X]

<Mike|sleep> Redwolf probibly has a record for # of people that setinfo him
<RedWolf> :/
<RedWolf> im soo popular
<Mike|sleep> nah. you just say stupid shit all the time.

#38927 +(1074)- [X]

<Gemini4t> I'm going to become rich and famous some day when I design a keyboard that has spring-loaded needles hidden inside the caps lock button.
<Gemini4t> Some newbie tries to type 'WOW WUT IS UP???? LOLZ' and instead he types 'AH FUCK MY FINGERZ BLEEDIN'

#38931 +(13)- [X]

(Null-O): Women without teeth give the best head.
(Null-O): They "gum it".

#38951 +(144)- [X]

(nyisles) see, what i need the dremel for is to cut the center pieces out of the Caravan grille after putting the FMIC in
(TheDrip) use a fuckin steak knife (guess how I know a steak knife cuts plastic grills)
(minime-) because you eat steaks made of plastic?

#38961 +(149)- [X]

* ZondrZout has entered
<Arathorn> hello
<ZondrZout> Well, how typical...
<ZondrZout> Only the bot greets me
<Karyon> lol

#38966 +(172)- [X]

<PsychicSeagull> I should make a book - Procrastination for Dummies!  It will just be a bunch of empty pages.

#38992 +(238)- [X]

<+Yamatto> im keeping my ass virginal,
<+Yamatto> coz like if i go to jail
<+Yamatto> i want to be like
<+Yamatto> a rare commodity
<+Yamatto> and be protected for my ass

#39012 +(319)- [X]

<tngkicksbum> that book sucked ass
<tngkicksbum> there was no sex in it!
<tngkicksbum> and the violence wasn't intense enough
<tngkicksbum> and there was no math either
<tngkicksbum> i liked reading euclid's elements
<fizzie> so euclidean geometry has violence intense enough for your tastes? interesting.

#39035 +(11)- [X]

<d00m2k> lol, when have you ever seen an azn be 6'6''
<d00m2k> ive seen an azn on another azns shoulders
<d00m2k> be 6'6''

#39060 +(450)- [X]

<darkdragon18> yeah i live in England too
<Crystal> Damnit, the strap on my bra broke.. >_<
<darkdragon18> you shoudl buy a new brassyeah
<Primigenus> "brassyeah"?
<IceDelta> I think he meant brassière ;-)
<Primigenus> ...
<darkdragon18> fuck you, i thnk Id know how to spell words tat orignate in my own language

#39079 +(703)- [X]

<+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short while and already so many acronyms :-)
<+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still. :-)
<@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?

#39083 +(226)- [X]

(GoatBoy) WHO IS THIS SANCHEZ GUY
(GoatBoy) AND WHY IS HE DIRTY?

#39087 +(160)- [X]

<Jay^^> But I might interrupt your work...;)
<JaG> im not working im surfing bash.org
<JaG> like i work at work, pleeeeeease

#39091 +(541)- [X]

<thrust> so, I just went to the snack bar and bought a "Three Musketeers Bar"
<thrust> the label reads "Whipped Up, Fluffy Chocolate-on-Chocolate Taste"
<thrust> which made me think of overweight black lesbian porn
<thrust> and made me realize that I get way too much spam

#39092 +(98)- [X]

<WintrHawk> I fart a lot in my jeep so if thieves try and break in to steal something, the gas will repel them

#39093 +(31)- [X]

<tulmad> there's lots of hot chicks in the egr building now
<tulmad> too bad they're all freshmen and will all drop out of the CS program
          by the end of this year
<tulmad> this hot redhead was just in here for a few minutes
<da4> end of the year = enough time to get some coed action
<da4> tulmad: webcam dood

#39095 +(221)- [X]

<jalex> hmm, they recycled 14,226 lbs. of paper here in Sept.
<Vco> all porno?
<cruentus> 14,226 lbs. of pr0n
<cruentus> what is that, 7 tons?
<_spartan_> just over
<roundfeh> heh
<cruentus> what method is used to seperate the paper from the sticky stuff in the recycling process?
<Vco> cheap immigrant labour

#39108 +(577)- [X]

<Satan> I need.
<Satan> A fucking optical mouse.
<Satan> So I don't have to deal with dirty balls anymore.
<Satan> .. Er, yeah.
<rapty> X_X

#39121 +(267)- [X]

<tofuhunters> what instruments can you play?
<tofuhunters> i can play the electric guitar
<tofuhunters> bass guitar
<tofuhunters> drums
<tofuhunters> and saxophone
<bobsonfire> i play the radio.

#39122 +(18)- [X]

<myutwo33> i should stick to stupid jokes... for stupid people... that means you guys!

#39127 +(334)- [X]

<lambtron> lol the other day my mom was on the computer and I was in the other room and she goes "I won! I won! What did I win?"
<lambtron> and I yell "what are you talking about?"
<lambtron> and she goes "It says that if this is flashing, I just won!!"

#39132 +(221)- [X]

<sac|metal|werk> anyway, star wars is real and star trek is some made up bs

#39135 +(213)- [X]

<Tassadar2000> Hey! Why did you ban me? I pay my taxes!

#39141 +(20)- [X]

<PenDragon> ((don't... I don't find it funny... and neither does Kelli...))
<Tarl> (Weelll..for some reason, I consider my amusement more important than your own.)
<Tarl> (Besides.)
<Tarl> (Playing brother sister, while being "sexually active"..)
<Tarl> (It kind of opens yourself up to ridicule.)

#39142 +(256)- [X]

<Cornell> damn I wish I could have gone to my friends summer camp.. 9 guys my age, 18 girls, and another 18 or so a year younger
<Cornell> *18 or so girls
<Beoulve> Dude.
<Beoulve> You'd still be a virgin in the end.
<Cornell> most likely.
<Cornell> but still, you knever know, and think of all the possibilities...
<Tarl> Yeah..
<Beoulve> It's possible that you'd die.
<Beoulve> Horribly.
<Tarl> "Hey <Insert cornellmun's name here>! Could you go to the convienience store and pick up some more condoms for us? Thanks!"

#39143 +(175)- [X]

<Beoulve> Some women insert cups with razor blades in them into their vaginas.
<Beoulve> Would you want to fuck one of those women?
<Beoulve> DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH DANGER?
<Tarl> ...
<Tarl> Adam.
<Tarl> That only happens with women *you've* slept with before.

#39157 +(248)- [X]

<kryz> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to build me the ultimate weapon of mass l33tness. Instead of some lame chemical or nuclear POS, it's going to be a giant bomb of ice cream. So when It hits, there will be no collateral damage, but everyone will have the biggest ice cream headache. Then I will win the prizes.

#39162 +(320)- [X]

<Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in DC and it isnt good news for CS players
<Whisper> want to hear it?
<CJ> Sure
<Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking...

#39163 +(298)- [X]

onkeybutt87: I saw more tonight then I've seen in the past fifteen years of my life
onkeybutt87: I saw several girls in their bras
onkeybutt87: (and, yes, they knew I was there)

#39164 +(463)- [X]

<Tarl> You ever meet me, and I'm depressed, I will hit you soooo hard if you hug me.
<Beoulve> You're not secure enough in your sexuality for me to hug you.
<Tarl> No. I'm not secure enough in *your* sexuality for you to hug me.

#39176 +(72)- [X]

<Diablo-D3> we have seenserv now?
<RichiH> Diablo-D3: ask for BrainServ
<RichiH> perhaps you can pre-order

#39177 +(620)- [X]

<Ak> Today, a blind man who was begging for change addressed me as I walked past.
<Ak> I gave him a quarter, and he said "thank you kind sir"
<Ak> then, he asked me what time it was, so out of habit, i held up my watch.
<Ak> He said, "11:56? Thanks buddy."

#39183 +(392)- [X]

<fanf1> linux is more compatible with unix than windows is with windows

#39186 +(540)- [X]

<Purelimit> Fuck man we hear about all these terrorists nowadays
<SgtPayne> Yeah but most came here legally staying after their visas expired
<Purelimit> Are u fucking serious
<SgtPayne> Yeah compare that too blockbuster if your 3 days late their people are all over you
<Purelimit> yeah lets put blockbuster in charge of immagration
<SgtPayne> rofl

#39211 +(342)- [X]

<Asskicker064> I enjoyed the irony at Blockbuster today when a guy whose last name was Moron returned an empty movie case.

#39231 +(256)- [X]

<D3v1in^jr> i learned just how hardcore goth girls can be last night
<D3v1in^jr> got with this girl sarah...her clit was painted dark purple


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