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#38248 +(396)- [X]

<trunck> how long doesschool have a vacation?
<Nec> till monday, i think
<<Nec> next week, that is.
<trunck> whoa
<trunck> really long
<trunck> fucking school kids
<Nec> is illegal.

#38250 +(163)- [X]

<Daedalus> i think i am sexy
<Daedalus> in a gay way
<riz> *crickets*
<Phusion> wow.

#38251 +(404)- [X]

Cr|t|cal kicked by cajuncook (those "|"s are really obnoxious) 6:10pm
(|N-64|) those "|"'s are called pipes.
(cajuncook) well
(cajuncook) they are quite obnoxious
(gogglespy) so would #| be a hash pipe?

#38258 +(329)- [X]

<brent> I think when you check all the empty beer cans you have a problem on your hands
<sledge> and that would be no more beer

#38284 +(2030)- [X]

<JerryBeep> There are two kinds of jokes in the world:  Jokes that people respond to by saying "lol" and funny jokes.
<melipompous> lol
<JerryBeep> You bastard.

#38286 +(248)- [X]

<TreFitty> bloodClot`, I remember when you made fun of my viewsonic monitor
<TreFitty> :(
<bloodClot`> you remember a lot of weird shit that never happened

#38289 +(231)- [X]

[st-packing-car] going and doing errands
[st-packing-car] collecting what I need
[MrFootsy`] oh
[st-packing-car] dump, bank and letting the kids put bottles and cans in the redemption machine
[MrFootsy`] never seen one of those
[st-packing-car] well you just haven't lived
[MrFootsy`] a redemption machine...those catholics sure have embraced technology
[st-packing-car] lol

#38297 +(314)- [X]

[JJJTTT] what's this 707 thiong?
[st-707-afk] oh
[st-707-afk] that's LOL upside-down
[JJJTTT] gotcha
[st-707-afk] HTTP 707:  File Not Funny
[st-707-afk] that's gonna be one of my new error messages
[st-707-afk] well, neither of us are gainfully employed so that's what happens
[st-707-afk] sit here and think of stupid shit

#38301 +(266)- [X]

<Max-> worse than shite 200mhz pentium with 32mb ram and monitors @ 60hz?
<CUI> Max- That's not computer
<CUI> That's a calculator

#38302 +(371)- [X]

<Alien> there's not 365 weeks in a year xjeff
<xjeff> enless it's a leap year

#38303 +(81)- [X]

* GazzaG pee'd in a bottle
<GazzaG> too busy watching star wars to goto the toilet

#38306 +(166)- [X]

<kow> heh, lil is too anal
<kow> I REALLY pissed him off today with that frozen fly
<_absent> find a photo of a dead cat on images.google
<_absent> post it on your site
<_absent> and tell lil you killed that
<kow> rofl
<kow> I don't need to use google
<kow> d:picsdead animals

#38314 +(197)- [X]

<martha> alesha...dont listen to them...sugar has been proven to cure hiccups
<martha> a spoonful will do it, wash it down with liquid if you need to
<eclipse> so is a quick shake of my protein drink
<martha> I have this feeling eclipse's 'protein drink' is something he carries with him at all times, in a convenient little sac

#38318 +(304)- [X]

<skeetuh> sell shit on the web
<skeetuh> easy money
<halcyon`> like spam newsgroups?
<skeetuh> no
<skeetuh> I just take stuff out of my family when I have no money and put it on ebay
<halcyon`> like kidneys?

#38320 +(113)- [X]

<daenonok> they should make a programming language for pron in shareware progs
<daenonok> so when your work, or family runs an xxx scan prog on your bitch, you come up clean
<FURI0U5> ur work or girlfriend ran a pr0n chexxor on yo comp?
<daenonok> no, but last night i had a bad dream =[

#38321 +(295)- [X]

<Chimerasame> my cs-ethics prof is a bigger dork than i am
<Chimerasame> he just learned the internet term 'flame' today apparently
<Chimerasame> and he kept using it wrong
<Chimerasame> "i'm such a flamer today~"
<Chimerasame> "what! why's that so funny!"

#38322 +(39)- [X]

<daenonok> yea, but keep in mind when you're talking to d4n you're talking to someone so poor
<daenonok> he used to steal five dollars worth of caps (like for cap guns)
<daenonok> empty the power into a paper towel, wrap it up and light it
<daenonok> and that was his 4th of july

#38331 +(109)- [X]

<^shauny^> i have a prob here
<And-1> don't we all ...
<^shauny^> no no really
<And-1> we're all on here ... that's our prob

#38336 +(767)- [X]

<dudeXIII> you guys hear about that sniper in washington?
<dudeXIII> camping bitch D:

#38345 +(673)- [X]

<FlyNavy> why the fuck does every crisis our country has have to have a catchy title, graphic, and it's own theme song?

#38352 +(192)- [X]

<TenBaseT> I'm having a nice voddy tonic
<Scribble> Mmmmmmmmm
<Scribble> VT!
<TenBaseT> when you use that absolut citron, you dont need a lime.
<Scribble> My favorite.
<TenBaseT> yeah. it's sublime.
<TenBaseT> badum dum CHING

#38354 +(947)- [X]

[Rascal] : Well, fuck angelicon, he's weird
[@Unknown_Source] : Dogs are weird and dumb
[@djjason] : Agreed
[@Unknown_Source] : I mean, wave the biscuit, and the dumbass dogs comes
* Unknown_Source waves a biscuit
[Join (#afterhoursdjs)] : [DJAngelicon]
[@Unknown_Source] : ...

#38368 +(371)- [X]

<mstyne> i just wrapped up a 12 hour day at work
<mstyne> surprisingly, i feel okay
<mstyne> which is probably bad : )
<Etan> only if you tell your bosses, and get longer days
<mstyne> well, ordinarily i'd be wiped after 12 hours
<mstyne> but i'm not
<mstyne> i think they must put something in the water
<-- caffine has quit (Remote closed the connection)
<mstyne> aha, that answers it
<Etan> the guilt overpowered him

#38377 +(531)- [X]

<Popgun> at least 24 people have died in a fire in a chinese internet cafe
<Kuss> popgun, they were probably playing everquest, and didn't want to lose their shit
<Argent-> Popgun - how many terminals were pointed to the local fire department website?
<Popgun> they clicked onto elexa and self-immolated
<Popgun> if that were the case, they would probably welcome the conflagration
<Argent-> "De-ah hon-oh-ra-bo fiahman, we buhning up heah, prease send wa-tah, we no wanto stop praying evahquest."
<Kuss> oh my god
<Kuss> argent
<Kuss> that's hysterical
<Argent-> More negatives on my karmic burden.
<ln> I'd be offended by that if it weren't so funny
* ln gives Arg a token asian smack
<Popgun> they ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, argento
<Popgun> remember the trouble you had with Stalin?

#38380 +(492)- [X]

<Argent-> Call a few adoption agencies asking for a hot 17 year-old girl with a birthday coming up, and they start with the suppoenas.

#38382 +(734)- [X]

<_SnakeMan> do the clocks change tonight?
<AlbinoLov> I think they do sunday/
<MiL0> yes
<MiL0> unless you live in some parts of indiana or arizona
<_SnakeMan> sometime in the early am of sunday, right?
<Argent-> The clocks change every night... into fierce blood sucking imps that chase me around the house until I fall over exhausted, then they mock me about my small genitalia.

#38384 +(209)- [X]

<s|urpee> like seriously... "Book Appreciation Month"?????
<s|urpee> Who the fuck thought that one up?
<Argent-> s|urpee - someone who gets hawt talking dewey decimals
<s|urpee> 017.223 JER
* s|urpee shivers happily
<daedalus`> i want to see official geek month... a month where geeks are
no percicuted and bullies get hit up for lunch money.... ... that wouls
rock
<daedalus`> hahaha
<Argent-> I want 'throw a fat old guy a mercy fuck' month.
* Argent- coughs.
<Argent-> Oh, come on- that was funny ,)

#38385 +(346)- [X]

<Ramza> why am I listening to "Here Comes Team Rocket" in polish?

#38395 +(305)- [X]

* byra bounces like a retard
<Argent-> Are you listening to something bouncy?
<byra> nope.
<byra> im listening to the hum of computers
<Argent-> Well, that always perks me up.
<Argent-> The comforting whirr of fans, the faint ozone smell.. ah, I love that new computer smell you get when you buy a new case.
<Argent-> The slick texture of anti-static bags..
<Argent-> the clink of mounting hardware
<countzero> -stop- you're turning me on!
<countzero> ooh la la.

#38399 +(538)- [X]

<godofcows> I decided on some cool things I'm gonna do when I get rich
<godofcows> like ask my mom what car she would like the most, and then buy it
<godofcows> and then when she comes outside to look at it, it'll get run over by a monster truck
<godofcows> and she'll cry

<@godofcows> I thought of another thing I'd do if I ever got rich
<@godofcows> I'd gonna buy a bunch of toys for an orphanage 
<@godofcows> and have them all laid out in front of the building on christmas morning and get someone who works there to wake up all the kids and come out to look
<@godofcows> and when they all step outside and look, I'm gonna run over the toys with a monster truck and laugh at the looks on their faces

#38401 +(34)- [X]

<Afkfuckingselfinass> if i run fast enough backwards my exploding ass-flesh could act as a lubricant

#38403 +(196)- [X]

<reppy> dudes
<reppy> my dad's wife like
<reppy> is a child psycholigist
<reppy> and one of her patients walked in on her mom getting fucked by the dog
<reppy> I got turned on just hearing that:(
<Morris> NIce
<Morris> You'd think a dog like most mammals would finish really quickly and move on
<Morris> But hey, whatever turns her on.
<DooMStalK> "Mommy! Mommy! I've got a boo bo... Mommy! What is the dog doing to you? Why do i suddenly have the urge to clean?"
<Morris> haha
<Morris> "Can I play with the doggy too?"
<DooMStalK> "Bad dog! Take that out of mommy!"

#38404 +(168)- [X]

<@Ramza> When I grow up, I want to be a firetruck.
<Vinic> so you could legally hose women down?

#38408 +(373)- [X]

<@godofcows> I swear that'd have to be the most evil thing you could do
<@Vinic> what about donating 30 billion dollars of countefiet cash to child cancer societies?
<@Vinic> on the back of each bill is you jacking off and saying 'here's your medicine bitch'

#38410 +(333)- [X]

<M-ROTDL> Something you NEVER want your mom to say to you: "You've got a large PENIS!"
<M-ROTDL> I was sitting down to game of MegaMan Legends 2....
<M-ROTDL> And she strolls by and goes, "Wow... you have a large penis."

#38413 +(915)- [X]

<DooMStalK> I was bored, and called 1-800-COW-FUCK once, only to find out COW and BOY take up the same numbers on the phone

#38418 +(206)- [X]

Finque: at least that young black fellow will live
Finque: black people can't die virgins
Finque: it's physically and sexually impossible
Finque: god is still apologizing for burning them
Finque: so he gave them horse cocks
Finque: and now they always get laid
tom: except DE
Finque: true
Finque: but DE is canadian
Finque: that's god's "oops" pile

#38425 +(-18)- [X]

(@Bird2002): wana know how to get free ms keyboards and mice?
(@suicide6x): how?
(@Bird2002): do you have a keyboard or mouse now?
(@suicide6x): um
(@suicide6x): yeah

#38429 +(26)- [X]

<Feerless> SCHOOL haha
<Feerless> i have holidays
<Fleebis> DUMBASS haha
<Fleebis> i have ops

#38432 +(67)- [X]

<blinden|midnightcleaning> I'm going to bakcup my mp3 collection....
<blinden|midnightcleaning> on floppies

#38438 +(47)- [X]

<@McMoo> sometimes i jerk it at work because we've got the super heavy duty industrial soap

#38443 +(205)- [X]

<@Bonfire> I think I shat my pants earlier this morning but have been too scared to check

#38456 +(149)- [X]

<eggs_> yay, kernel is compiling now
<Befw11s4> i like to compile kernals
<eggs_> its really not that exciting
<eggs_> The exciting part is seeing whether your computer still boots afterwards :P

#38465 +(191)- [X]

<mikz> @find quark express
* mikz was kicked by NightDead (Congratulations, you said the magic word!)
* Joins: mikz (~mquiapos@202.164.185.218)
<mikz> hi :)
<^|^> mikz !
<+WhtCastle> mikz: We use !list, not @find here.
<mikz> ok cool
<mikz> thanks
<^|^> !list sorenson squeez
* ^|^ was kicked by NightDead (Congratulations, you said the magic word!)
<+WhtCastle> no damn him mikz was supposed to do it
<+WhtCastle> Its funny when they do it
<+WhtCastle> '!list'
<+WhtCastle> (kick)
<mikz> !list quark express
* mikz was kicked by NightDead (Congratulations, you said the magic word!)

#38474 +(142)- [X]

* FreeFrag finds it strange that as hardware gets older, your respect for it lessens.
<milenko> FreeFrag: same with wives

#38476 +(333)- [X]

<karl> OK, fixed.
<dbaker> Fixed?
<karl> I don't mean fixed like it works.

#38484 +(340)- [X]

<AAA> i cannot lose an argument tonite
<AAA> i just won 3 games of chess in a row
<AAA> 3 *INTENSE* games of chess
<Whoregasm> 3 lonely games of chess played with a bottle of ketchup

#38485 +(429)- [X]

<seven> hooked up with some chick at a party james invited me to last weekend. she comes back to my place, we're fucking around, she gives me a handjob, my vesuvious errupts, I'm content and am ready to go to sleep. then like, 2-3 minutes after said erruption, she's back down there again, and I'm thinking "what the fuck, as if, the guy needs some time to recover", much to my surprise, she got it all back and working again, and lo and behold, a second eruption
<seven> so I said straight away "whoa, you're like, really good at that."
<seven> "do you have a little brother or something?"

#38489 +(743)- [X]

<arnoboltinager> is goatse down for anyone else?

#38490 +(137)- [X]

<L-3-3-7>  i want to dump my gf
<L-3-3-7>  i need to find a good way to do it
<sparc^_>  maybe you could DoS her... or install back orifice on her box


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