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#36725 +(374)- [X]

<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape

#36731 +(168)- [X]

<C4ndl3s> I'm Back
<DirtyMexican> oh god no!
<DirtyMexican> bye
* Quits: DirtyMexican (DirtyMexic@CPE-144-132-225-105.nsw.bigpond.net.au) (Quit: )
<BenZor> rofl
<BenZor> i needed to talk to him too, thanks C4ndl3s

#36732 +(242)- [X]

<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a lesbian pornstar most of the time

#36734 +(524)- [X]

<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.

#36736 +(115)- [X]

<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE

#36737 +(188)- [X]

<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad taste in my mouth", but doesn't)

#36743 +(435)- [X]

<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?

#36744 +(159)- [X]

<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn

#36747 +(930)- [X]

<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet

#36754 +(461)- [X]

<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man

#36760 +(253)- [X]

<BenZor> ASIO hired my cat to spy on me, it goes in. it goes out now it sits here watching me, im sure they bugged it and they call it out every so often to change tapes :/

#36768 +(271)- [X]

<D> I've been blowing my nose on the leg of my pants for the past few hours, and now my spoon just fell out of my bowl.
<D> It landed on a towel.
<Jens> ...
<D> I believe this to be God's way of saying "You fucking dumbass."
<ZMan> D. Never reproduce.

#36769 +(54)- [X]

<UN-REAL> ihel leyha id use http mirc hahaha
<UN-REAL> like idd iwhe ni worked at the ama
<@EzyRider> we need an interpreter in here for UN-REAL..
<@EzyRider> fucked if i can follow half of what he says
<@[[x]]> LOL
<@Bloody_D_Death> LOL

#36771 +(215)- [X]

<clay> ryan isnt here
<clay> im declaring marshall law
*** clay sets mode: -o clay

#36774 +(100)- [X]

*** Rimbaud sets mode: +v HerrZombie
<HerrZombie> yep
<HerrZombie> ty Rim
<HerrZombie> I didn't even have to ask
<HerrZombie> you're on the ball today ;)
<Rimbaud> I'm good like that.  People want me to + them, I just go right ahead and do it.
<Rimbaud> A sort of + rape, if you will

#36775 +(0)- [X]

<ThreeZee> woo
<ThreeZee> overcocked!
<ThreeZee> lol
<ThreeZee> CLOCk
<ThreeZee> my bad
<ThreeZee> hehe

#36780 +(207)- [X]

·Serfer· Let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
·pHluid· 10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead and grease up.
·Serfer· Not enough time.
·pHluid· Must be a lot of you to grease.

#36782 +(474)- [X]

<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all the people around the world who work in any form of customer reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so people will never have to deal with completely retarded customers again.

#36784 +(108)- [X]

<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino

#36785 +(17)- [X]

*** thebold has quit IRC (Ping timeout for thebold[public1-sout4-5-cust8.sout.broadband.ntl.com])
*** jay` has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** TunkeyMicket has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** ThE_DeViL has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** anthrax has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** red_phive has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** BH|lnk has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** stressball has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
*** redphive has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
<Rossell1> damn, not as good a netsplit as I had hoped, :(

#36787 +(121)- [X]

<Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of Rossell's ass?
<ChanServ> Entrope: No.
<Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
<Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
<DrMagus> lol
<Rossell> we're Siamese twins
<Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

#36791 +(20)- [X]

<aidan> hmm
<aidan> does anyone know how to include html code inside a php script?

#36792 +(263)- [X]

<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit

#36797 +(144)- [X]

<psyk0mantis> ick . . . gotta reload windows ME on a comp i'm fixing
<psyk0mantis> i'd rather jump into a bowl of tacks from a diving board

#36799 +(427)- [X]

<AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
<Kurushimi> yes.
<Kurushimi> i play with myself
<Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT

#36802 +(978)- [X]

<_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
<minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop masturbating
<Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a towel and u get horny
<minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
<Willacuz> i dont get that one?
<minime--> neither do I?
<_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are afraid to use a dirty sock
<aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step further...
<aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too busy masturbating

#36803 +(201)- [X]

<cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
<HardCore> did it lift u off?
<cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt

#36805 +(204)- [X]

<rancid> if i made my drive NTFS and it is going slow, does my computer just need to get use to it?

#36810 +(187)- [X]

<lice> i swear
<lice> i hate ppl that promise work done without asking me first
<Killeroy> that's called "managing"

#36814 +(332)- [X]

<sheik> your mom
<striderj> what
<sheik> yeah thats why i sucked your moms dick last night
<striderj> what, hahahahahahah
<sheik> wait no thats not what i meant
<striderj> sure

#36816 +(358)- [X]

<Anubis> i hate ppl that use my name and dont even know who or what anubis is
<nyLar> I bet you don't even know.
<Anubis> ya i do
<nyLar> Who is he then?
*** Anubis has quit IRC

#36827 +(15)- [X]

<Noztop> eastern european on women accents are better
<Noztop> plus they'd probably fuck you for a can of coke

#36828 +(648)- [X]

<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"

#36829 +(286)- [X]

<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper

#36833 +(145)- [X]

<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave        
<MidoriKid> Nope.  I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave    
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation

#36834 +(-3)- [X]

<ChuffyCow> "welcome to the vancouver snow boarding championships. thousands of dollars are up for grabs"
<ChuffyCow> WHO CARES, IT'S CANUCK MONEY

#36837 +(41)- [X]

<Pi> I'm being a dick.  It's the only thing I can do well.

#36842 +(324)- [X]

<MSminion> /msg $*.net a/s/l
<MSminion> Let's see how many death threats I can get.

#36848 +(59)- [X]

<BTZ> I learned that you shouldn't drink and drive because you might spill your drink.

#36849 +(208)- [X]

<BTZ|EatingShit> Don't take my name literally.

#36857 +(48)- [X]

<Ryudo> java, the slower of the bunch
<Ryudo> aol, the ones tossed down the stairs when they were 3
<Ryudo> and java aol'ers...the bane of society

#36861 +(-4)- [X]

<BTZ> WHO THE FUCK REGISTERED MY NAME ON DALnet?!?!?

#36868 +(169)- [X]

<Khrath> the thing i miss most about dating
<Khrath> was convincing those kids i was a teachers aid and they they were on a field trip

#36871 +(263)- [X]

<neored13> It's weird. I can masturbate all day with little to no ill effects, but I swing an axe for a few minutes and my hands ache.

#36872 +(483)- [X]

<Nall> I watch porn, and what do I hear? Porn stars. I don't want to hear "OH, GOD, FUCK ME, YES, FUCK ME RIGHT THERE, YES, RIGHT THERE, GJ".
<Nall> No.
<Nall> I want to hear some pre-pubescent sounding ultra-sonic screeching. I want it to sound like a 12 year old girl being attacked by a rhino's horn.
<Nall> Thus, I turn to hentai.

#36875 +(262)- [X]

<Hiro> I go to get a nectarine to eat
<Hiro> I discover all twelve have melted and merged together into a large fluffy animal
<Hiro> It tried to eat me! <=O

#36882 +(1052)- [X]

<Tovart|Away> Pino, i'm wondering
<Tovart|Away> You're from Japan, right?
<pino> ‚g‚‰?I
<Tovart|Away> I'll take that as a yes.

#36887 +(326)- [X]

<lavhoes> fuck, i hate it when i need something from my mom and she's having sex.

#36888 +(99)- [X]

<Chubbzilla> naw, i've kinda got past the porn faze now
<Ody> ...
<Ody> I never thought I'd see those words in YOUR chat window O_O

#36894 +(204)- [X]

<Bloodnose> THESE ANIMAL DILDOS ARE RIDICULOUS.  MY CAT NEVER PLAYS WITH THE TOYS I BOUGHT FOR HIM ALREADY, LIKE HE'D USE THESE.


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