#36258 +(241)- [X]
<Gwindor> I wasn't paying attention until I glanced and saw "squishing" and "cleavage" in the same sentence
#36265 +(388)- [X]
<cherno> midori will pay,
<cherno> somehow, i will find his family,
<cherno> and make hamburgers out of them
<cherno> and make him eat them!
<cherno> and then i will say
<cherno> "midori, would you like some more of your mother?, i mean beef"
<cherno> but it will really be his mother
#36275 +(281)- [X]
<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal sex.
#36296 +(347)- [X]
* inshadowhiding sets off a small sodium bomb for warmth
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<inshadowhiding> well that was efective
#36308 +(637)- [X]
<AwhSchitt> Well, a guy's puts objects into one of 3 categories.
<AwhSchitt> 1) "I want to have sex with it"
<AwhSchitt> 2) "I want to eat/drink it"
<AwhSchitt> 3) "It exists"
#36325 +(51)- [X]
<Snio> pathetic !!!!
<Snio> PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS = Lost dollars
<DawaiDOOM> you tried them?
<Snio> no ! of course !
*** Parts: Snio (~jne@Mix-Bordeaux-208-2-43.abo.wanadoo.fr)
#36342 +(37)- [X]
<l_oke> im sure velocity sucks. Not that i use it, but most people that plugs their solutions all the time tend to be morons, and we all know what kind of code morons write.
#36344 +(433)- [X]
<jamesf> go to work, put your jacket over your chair and a cup of coffee next to your keyboard, then go home
<jamesf> everyone will think you're in a meeting
<jamesf> turn up again at 4, do an hour's work and then go home again
<jamesf> no-one will be any the wiser
#36349 +(127)- [X]
<Unhealthy_Hobo> i like, so have to stop saying 'like' and 'so'
#36355 +(243)- [X]
<synthetic-> God simply does not want me to have any meaningful relationships
<synthetic-> I'm up until 5:15 in the morning talking to a nice 18-year-old girl from Louisiana...
<synthetic-> AND SHE'S MARRIED
<synthetic-> even though I have no hope of ever meeting her, she's still unavailable
#36357 +(30)- [X]
>snoogins> yeah... I can get an ass fucking for free nowadays...
#36359 +(634)- [X]
<Kaymanistic>Jesus Christ. My dog has been licking herself for almost 30 minutes straight!!!
<Rockjunky>God I wish I could do that..would never leave the house
<Whatsupdude>Dude I realize its a dog but dont you think you should ask her first?
#36361 +(257)- [X]
<Sulayman> That was pretty slick of you, trapping Kaete, EQ, and Fry into making idiots of themselves.
<Arazan> yeah they think there so smart but smart peoples always falls for traps because they think there smarter
<Sulayman> Guess you're pretty trap-safe then, huh?
<Arazan> fuck u
*** Quits: Arazan (No route to host)
#36365 +(27)- [X]
<pr0tM4n_> anyone interested in 8 fatty mcse books? the ebay homo doesnt want to pay shipping
<ESD-Wyrk> no thanks, I got the movie
#36367 +(305)- [X]
<Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though. That's good.
<ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
<Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
<Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly Language
<ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you could withdraw
#36368 +(244)- [X]
<gh0z> Microsoft gives you windows, linux gives you the whole house
#36373 +(485)- [X]
-plot· then i masterbated
+chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
-plot· but you wanted to know
+chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has recently masturbated
+chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just to keep track
-plot· thats sick
#36382 +(-50)- [X]
::: Mode: (@agg) sets (+m)
[@agg]: say nothing if ur gay !!!!!!!
#36392 +(121)- [X]
<Lestat> @find africa
<Ganner> @find nigeria
<Lestat> @find cuban missile crisis
<Lestat> @find fisherman tim
<brolli_420> @find SHUT THE FUCK UP
#36394 +(255)- [X]
<lec> saying "no kick?" is like walking into the YMCA shower, dropping the soap, and saying "wow, nobody fucking me up the ass?"
#36395 +(391)- [X]
<antimatter> i like my penis
<antimatter> it's so cute
<antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
<antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
<antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
<antimatter> my penis is bilingual
#36400 +(298)- [X]
<zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
<zs> afk for a minute
<waffle> suicide does not count as afk
#36401 +(229)- [X]
<guest1101> techno... I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move
#36402 +(294)- [X]
<Decoy-> hey, the funniest thing happend in 5th period today
<Decoy-> some chick was giving a guy a hand job
<Decoy-> the whole class knew it, they thought they were sneaky ;)
<Decoy-> I was so close to saying "Hey, im next right?"
<Threeboy> sloppy seconds.
#36403 +(486)- [X]
<daveb> ide is hot pluggable, right? ;)
*** daveb has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
#36405 +(-1)- [X]
<overkill_> i bought these
<overkill_> cookie monster cookies
<overkill_> they are the bomb
<ACExNx316> Cookie monster cookies?
<aNuBiS-> overkill_: was it hard to pick up the box with such limp wrists?
<overkill_> yea dude
#36408 +(346)- [X]
<guest1101> YEAH I MEAN.. HEY... HOW MANY PPL HAVE A TAN AND USE IRC.. I MEAN CHRIST..
<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your fingers.
#36410 +(228)- [X]
<Posty> what is it about the lead singer from Garbage that makes me wanna fuck 'er 'til my willy falls off?
<Threeboy> its cause she looks like a guy.
#36416 +(249)- [X]
<Kris> Gay men, after diamonds, are a girl's best friend
#36418 +(118)- [X]
<Arielana> i will not eat animal penis' for $50,000
<Arielana> no way
<Phrizzawh> Arielana is a wuzz
<Phrizzawh> i would eat penis any day
#36419 +(750)- [X]
<Shibbz> my oven goes to like 750, lady who used to live here was a chef or some shit
<Shibbz> i can bake a baby in like 10 mins
<Shibbz> OOPS i mean chicken...
<Shibbz> yeah chicken
#36422 +(328)- [X]
<PyRo_ZaCh> i think i gota try sellin weed or something
<KeLLy`R> i'll buy some!
<PyRo_ZaCh> u got a heat lamp i could borrow?
<KeLLy`R> no sorry
<PyRo_ZaCh> i need that first
<PyRo_ZaCh> i got it planed so if i would no one could find
<PyRo_ZaCh> but i need a heat lamp
<PyRo_ZaCh> and a rabbit
<PyRo_ZaCh> and some sort of hover craft
#36425 +(659)- [X]
<WillaCuz> why do people shoot at robocop
#36426 +(758)- [X]
<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.
#36427 +(23)- [X]
<Geezus-stick> irc has to be the greatest achievement of mankind
#36429 +(772)- [X]
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine
#36430 +(357)- [X]
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be in front of a mirror when i remind myself.
#36432 +(180)- [X]
<Gplex> is this the main channel
<Gplex> where's the main channel?
<Gplex> what's a "main channel"
<Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"
#36433 +(31)- [X]
<chabo> I love you like Ike loves Tina
#36435 +(261)- [X]
<Volt9000> .. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it
#36436 +(229)- [X]
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
#36438 +(44)- [X]
<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"
#36442 +(241)- [X]
<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!
#36444 +(1470)- [X]
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
#36445 +(883)- [X]
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"
#36446 +(-4)- [X]
<WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
<WillaCuz> i missed it
<aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
<aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
#36451 +(78)- [X]
<Hsu> you can have such amazing battle in the beta
<Hsu> i suck ballz and i still have a shit load of fun
<Hsu> it gets you so pumped
<Methos> keeps you fit too sweating from all that adrenalin gaming.. that's how i stay fit
<Hsu> you smell
<Methos> yes, that's the sweat from the "set" i just did..
<Hsu> got to love them
<Methos> it was a quick fast paced HL gib-fest
<Methos> my next "rep" is slower a calmdown by playing solitaire
#36454 +(13)- [X]
<neotech-> It ate my penis and then choked.
#36456 +(82)- [X]
(T1MMY) i just pinged yahoo.com
(T1MMY) 1st trial 888
(T1MMY) 2nd trial 741
(T1MMY) 3rd trial 439
(T1MMY) 4th trial 499
(T1MMY) min 439
(T1MMY) max 888
(T1MMY) avg 666
#36458 +(203)- [X]
<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the feeling.