#35923 +(47)- [X]
<CzarKhan> well I have like 20 pillows and two teddy-bears but it's really like alone
#35930 +(555)- [X]
<MystrsPP2> Happiness is like a pineapple
<MystrsPP2> it hurts you on the outside
<MystrsPP2> and is yellow on the inside
#35936 +(518)- [X]
<SageChris> and honestly, as amusing as the handicapped are, to make fun of them on the internet is just cold...
<street> they shouldnt have been criminals in their past lives
<SageChris> hahaha, thats the best excuse i've ever heard
#35939 +(135)- [X]
<Bubbs-> arg, too... much, garlic bread... breast, stinks
#35941 +(247)- [X]
<DMAUL-agay> i was gonna watch slackers but im to lazy to put the cd in.
#35942 +(1288)- [X]
<Arwen`> maybe she hates clubs because she's ugly.
<jasong> maybe she hates clubs because she's a seal
#35944 +(151)- [X]
<MyTh`snoogans> i told one of my teachers one time to stfu.. i said the letters.. he didnt know what it meant
#35948 +(178)- [X]
<CUI> On other hand, I figure that this will be a night to remember
<Psy_Duck> Hand is all you need
<CUI> Hand is all I got =/
#35955 +(6211)- [X]
<EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb
<KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters
#36000 +(221)- [X]
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> yoru dad ejaculates into my mouth
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> your mouth*
#36029 +(547)- [X]
<[VU]JackFrost> ok, explain this... i make 10000 on 3dmark2001
<[VU]JackFrost> but i can't run half of my winamp visual thingys at full screen without jerking
<[VU]JackFrost> without the screen jerking, that is
#36062 +(1448)- [X]
<jeffrey> Starting from: 1 Penn Plaza, New York, NY 10119-0001
<jeffrey> Arriving at: 1535 Broadway, New York, NY 10036-4077
<jeffrey> Distance: 2835.0 miles Approximate Travel Time: 43 hours 36 mins
<jeffrey> GO GO MAPQUEST GO
#36063 +(111)- [X]
<lux> my dog walked in while i was stroking it
<lux> so i gave him a facial
#36088 +(59)- [X]
<Vagabond_> you get hit with a dick when you goto mcdonalds?
<Robyn``> DrklrdBob: Yes, and you will even get a free toy.
<Vagabond_> is it a beefy dick?
<DrklrdBob> Is the toy safe for children 3 and under?
#36091 +(-32)- [X]
<AhrT> i had a gf that would make me sniff her Fillet O' Fish everytime we went to Maccas coz she reckoned it smelle like smoo too
<AhrT> and now i can't even order one without crackin' a fat
#36097 +(373)- [X]
<p0s> interesting.....humans build computers with hundreds of millions of transistors....for rating each others poo
#36098 +(766)- [X]
(backslash) Wow, the introduction to this chapter in the driving book we got today is. . . well, reassuring.
(backslash) 'Finally, the keys and the car... our dream has come true! You climb in behind the wheel, the engine starts and purrs. Wow! Shift into gear and you're off.
(backslash) The sky darkens, rain starts to fall... Where is that wiper switch? Oops, not that one. Oh! There is it! And now, the headlights.
(backslash) What does that bright blue light mean? Why is that oncoming car flashing high beams? My gosh... the car in front is braking... Your vehicle is sliding!! Your heart is pounding! Now what?!'
(zztzed) "If you slam on the brakes and go hydroplaning into the rear end of the car in front of you, turn to page 36."
#36099 +(308)- [X]
<Fat-Burrick> you have an obsession, Fuegan
<Fat-Burrick> let me help you
* Fuegan unzips
<Fat-Burrick> oh jesus
#36109 +(119)- [X]
* RichiH can't help it, but every time he sees bubble's nick he has to think of farting in a tub
#36121 +(48)- [X]
<@MerdeDeSinge> heh makes me wonder if women treat penises like that
<@MerdeDeSinge> or a mother teachering her daughter
<@MerdeDeSinge> "just treat it like an over size tampon"
<@[R]a[Z]o[R]> unless the guy has a small penis
<@ShockSMX> then its a normal size tampon, razor
#36122 +(48)- [X]
<v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next person has a REALLY good idea what i did
#36124 +(265)- [X]
<cORBIT> when i sneeze it sounds like a kung fu movie
#36130 +(544)- [X]
<IdKS> omg.,.....i;m too lazy to get up
#36139 +(141)- [X]
@(external`roid) fuck and when he goes on about racist shit that pisses me off
@(external`roid) hes a stupid little boy who just hit puberty and thinks its cool that air no longer shoots out of his small little penis
@(external`roid) give a kid 1 nut hair and he thinks he owns the world
#36141 +(213)- [X]
<SUPAR> i wonder if unicorn farts smell like potpourri
#36156 +(31)- [X]
<PERL_ZEALOT> Gimme a second, man.
<PERL_ZEALOT> I type slowly.
<Dillinger> some code'er you are.
#36157 +(175)- [X]
<Al> people are often friendly until they learn what an irretrievable shit-pit the world is and what a sick, worthless collection of misshapen animals comprises the human species
<DogWelder> I like to think of it as boot camp, then hell.
#36163 +(211)- [X]
<destru> tv just told me i could get a correspondence degree in gunsmithing
<destru> does that really seem like a good idea?
#36167 +(535)- [X]
<Arkansas> wank --device=/dev/righthand --input=/dev/cock/shaft --output=/dev/cock/head --loop-device &
<IBM> I got a frontend to do that for me. It's called "woman".
#36169 +(139)- [X]
<Knux_The_Echidna> Mel Brooks? what was (s)he in?
#36171 +(314)- [X]
* `Glenn scribbles on Illy's face with a washable marker while she is away.
<Lightspeed> Glenn prob seen too much Pokemon....
<BraveFencer> .... No, but by the fact you connected that to Pokemon, maybe YOU have.
#36175 +(139)- [X]
<Joesomebo> but can I operate under a different IP address that's not being used for example? Or is that the type of thing they only do in movies
#36180 +(37)- [X]
(Mr_Moppy) I got me some great head last night
(Mr_Moppy) Tired the dog out though... she's not used to such vigorous work.
#36181 +(713)- [X]
<nom> Bush wipes his ass, right?
<Ultron> No someone does it for him
<Legion> yeah with the constitution
#36184 +(387)- [X]
<Bloaty121> hmm i was just watching a jif commercial and now i want a peanut butter sandwich
<|404notfound> They're brainwashing you, watch out.
<Bloaty121> but i'm hungry
<|404notfound> That's what they want you to think.
#36185 +(142)- [X]
<Eticam> There's a mosquito the size of a monkey here!
<Eticam> and it's eating my leg!
#36186 +(-21)- [X]
<dranyam> Okay, my quote on bash.org is not mine
#36190 +(145)- [X]
<skn3[ac]> ITS A RE-DESIGN
<Clubsoft> Its a FUCK-UP :P
#36191 +(213)- [X]
<Asha`monkey> yeah, i put it in there real good huh you like that
<Asha`monkey> Wrong window.
#36193 +(64)- [X]
<FlatFace> Put it in C:winoot
<SLing> I already have a /winoot/ directory
<FlatFace> SLING USING *NIX!?!?!?!?!
<SLing> It's just so much easier to reach the / than the :P
#36195 +(156)- [X]
<Jenna> how was your weekend?
<ChrisLTD> it was good!
<ChrisLTD> no unprotected sex though
<ChrisLTD> very sad
<Jenna> oh, so sorry, i know how important meeting the unprotected sex quota is
#36197 +(126)- [X]
<Punky^Nopants> *scratches head flakes onto pants*
* pantsME adds milk and enjoys
#36201 +(255)- [X]
<GokuSSJ4> My first car was free
<Genome> GokuSSJ4 u stole it?!!
<GokuSSJ4> Nah my parents gave it to me
<Genome> they stole it???
#36205 +(192)- [X]
<Synonymet> !google kiss me where i pee or you'll get my wang in your shithole
<sx> 9 results for "kiss+me+where+i+pee+or+you'll+get+my+wang+in+your+shithole"
#36213 +(326)- [X]
<punchcard_uc> even the shittiest days at work disappear with a guinni
<punchcard_uc> along with lots of other memories im sure
<punchcard_uc> cant remember really
#36214 +(425)- [X]
<punchcard_uc> tier 1 techs dont know shit
<punchcard_uc> all they have to do is read from a script
<punchcard_uc> first thing you do is ask for a tier 2 tech
<DomMac> I just ask for someone smarter
<DomMac> as soon as they answer the phone
<DomMac> "hello.... this is support"
<DomMac> "gimme someone smarter than you"
#36220 +(163)- [X]
<Ginger`> In pagecount, the script is about at the level of six to seven Shakespeare games, so it may well take awhile. ^.^ A 10% patch was released recently.
<Ginger`> I can't believe I said Shakespeare games. -.-;
#36225 +(1694)- [X]
<Ariela> I want a man that is like a purse: looks good on your arm, carries your things, and hopefully matches your shoes.
<Nap> I want a woman who's like a good pair of shoes: looks good, provides support, and doesn't recite stupid analogies.
#36234 +(542)- [X]
<aNuBiS-> im gonna invent a new internet acronym: tltttwt
<Tokae> wtf is it?
<aNuBiS-> too lazy to type the whole thing
#36237 +(331)- [X]
<shithead1> oh good sir geoffrey
<shithead1> did you slay any dragons in the last fortnight?
<jeff> unless by slay any dragons you mean rub one off