#34248 +(114)- [X]
* phucknut == drunk
<ian_> phucknut, I replaced your beer with bottles of my piss.
<phucknut> i'm gonna go back to the bar and drink some more
<phucknut> lata chump
<cwd> phucknut turns into a dalnet user when he's drunk
#34249 +(227)- [X]
<DRBS> this is so ghey what happened
<MoDoDynam> I know Bradford, I know.
<DRBS> matts an ayesshole
<MoDoDynam> Well sometimes in a friendship the parties involved have to tear apart and develop a scar tissue in order to strengthen the bond that they never had before. Maybe that's our purpose in life: fighting to eventually gain fulfillment with others.
<DRBS> hold on i have to take a nasty shit.
#34251 +(202)- [X]
<Amish|wuurk> there is no death for me
<Amish|wuurk> just a ping timeout
#34252 +(537)- [X]
<NinjaDebugger> Too... many... fetch... quests!
* Zrith parsed that as "fetish."
<Mandoric> "My black leather panties fell down the well! I'll give you the Dildo of Erdrick if you retrieve them!"
#34253 +(214)- [X]
* Mage_ scoots away from Dykstra
* Dykstra plays with his pokeballs
* Mage_ scoots further
<SteveD> uh huh
* Dykstra squirtles SteveD
#34254 +(241)- [X]
<Bookworm> Jeremiah, I don't tell you what to do, now quit telling people that.
#34255 +(237)- [X]
<PSlagle-Tech> you should have seen me explaining the concept of drivers to my mother when I was setting up their computer... I explained it like this...
* JamesR-Tech covers his eyes
<JP_Tech> this could be interesting
<PSlagle-Tech> "Imagine you woke up one morning with a third arm... you wouldn't know how to control it, right? So you get a book and read how to control it, and then you can use it."
* JamesR-Tech copies and pastes to bash.org
<PSlagle-Tech> trhe arm is the modem, and the book is the driver.
<PSlagle-Tech> hey... she understood after that. :)
#34263 +(572)- [X]
<shrug> Women burn an average of 27 calories during an orgasm
<shrug> Faking an orgasm burns 160 calories
<shrug> I've been helping women loose weight
#34265 +(1)- [X]
<Annieland> i have beautiful skin
<Annieland> some people are just jealous
<rajn> no you don't
<rajn> you're fucking ugly
<Annieland> i do too
<Annieland> fuck you
<Annieland> i'm beautiful
<rajn> fuck you
<rajn> get hepatitis
#34266 +(40)- [X]
TehKirby: once you go black; you dont go back
TehKirby: once you eat a cat; you want to mack
zhulkogh: I couldn't have said it better myself.
#34267 +(197)- [X]
<niko> whenever I see a korean media company or game company it's like
<niko> "HEY LOOK WE CAN DO ANIME TOO! AND GAMES WOO CHECK US OUT!"
<niko> "see you don't need japan!"
<niko> "you can use us! and we work cheaper!"
#34270 +(-42)- [X]
<[PLF]Sohryu> i dont understand why the us didnt just crush canada along time ago
<[PLF]Sohryu> we wouldnt need ground troops
<[PLF]Sohryu> 3 months of carpet bombing
<[PLF]Sohryu> like we did in afghanistan
<[PLF]Sohryu> that'l do the trick
<[PLF]Sohryu> we could send in
<[PLF]Sohryu> seal team 6
<[PLF]Sohryu> all 5 of them
<[PLF]Sohryu> they would own the country in 20 minutes
<[PLF]Sohryu> only becuase its so big
#34271 +(213)- [X]
<[PLF]TehKirby> in canada; if you rape a dog
<[PLF]TehKirby> they give you money
<[PLF]TehKirby> im serious.
<[PLF]Sohryu> id be rich
#34274 +(283)- [X]
* Now talking in #9-11
<[9-11]|vS|darkwinter> cant we just have a moment of silence?
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO MY TERROR DAY BARBECUE
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> WE WILL HAVE GAMES
<[9-11]ILLuSiOnZ|GaS|> we did b4
<Will> holy shui
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> PIN THE JET ON THE WTC TOWER
<Will> no one is oped either
* *** G-line requested by Jaden.. (465)
#34276 +(307)- [X]
<D3KK0N> i am in such a good mood today!
<JudasX> lose your virginity?
<D3KK0N> many times
<JudasX> your hand doesn't count
<D3KK0N> even your left?
#34278 +(147)- [X]
<@mr_zap> kinda like some toilet seat incident I know about
<@Glenn> i went to the loo at kents place
<@Glenn> forgot about the toilet seat
<@Glenn> and i was like
<@Glenn> fuck your toilets uncomfortable
<@Glenn> and hes like, well, u gotta put the seat down
#34279 +(42)- [X]
<Gamer55|FUCKYOU> nah, the thing is me and wacko luv eachother, we have 20 babies :)
<Gamer55|FUCKYOU> i ate them all tho :(
<mik3y> 20 babies and you're 20
<mik3y> and wacko is like 12
<mik3y> explain the math on that one
<Threeboy> if there's grass on wacko's feild, I play ball.
#34280 +(743)- [X]
<wizardofaaahs> I smoke during sex
<martha> wiz, slow down and use a lubricant
#34286 +(41)- [X]
<fretless-> slackware sucks
<fretless-> brain_: you're laughing like you know better or something
<brain_> fretless-: and i'm guessin... window rules ?
* fretless- smacks the shit out of brain
<brain_> why, so you can eat it ?
#34287 +(259)- [X]
<phyre> my room is hot...
<phyre> I'm sweating like R. Kelly at a girl scout meeting
#34289 +(187)- [X]
<E-vangelist> I just realized I've been running my laptop all day with drugs all in the pcmcia and memory slots
#34295 +(40)- [X]
<Porcupine> #animefiends, lots of fun
<Porcupine> [22:57] <Porcupine> [Chii], do you like your meat hot or cold
<Porcupine> [22:57] <Abizoath> anyways I am off to fade into obscurity....
<Porcupine> [22:57] <Rintaun> theedge[h: not if you use good compression :P
<Porcupine> [22:57] <[Chii]> porc: depends which kind
<Porcupine> [22:57] <Porcupine> [Chii]: my kind
<guns7007> Porc making fun of chii won't get your meat in his mouth any faster
<guns7007> just offer him a buck and mention 10-10-220
<guns7007> it always works in the commercials
#34296 +(709)- [X]
[17:10:00] <aamir> hi
[17:10:17] <aamir> hello
[17:10:17] <Kelavat> hi
[17:10:36] <aamir> asl plz
[17:11:59] <Kelavat> oh why the hell does everyone always ask that, does it really metter what the fuck my asl is, obviously im not a kid and not very femenine so if you planning on hitting on someone just get a baseball bat and knock yourself out cause its the only beating you'll get tonight
[17:13:25] <aamir> asl
[17:14:20] <Kelavat> you dont get it do you, I am not going to answer your friggin asl
[17:14:42] <aamir> y my dear
[17:15:58] <Kelavat> you drink a lot dont you?
#34298 +(250)- [X]
<DoctorRiff> captain planet didnt teach me to save the earth, it taught me to stab hippies for giving me crap cartoons
#34300 +(182)- [X]
<+Saloja> How do you get the timer off?
<infinitySPZ> //timer 0 1 //echo TIMERS OFF
<infinitySPZ> Type that. It should help.
* Timer 1 activated
#34301 +(198)- [X]
*** Quits: Espresso (my sister is a bitch and needs this computer because her homework is already saved on it)
<^Pa|Busy^> I think all words after "bitch" were probably unnecessary.
#34304 +(93)- [X]
* Nanuq copies the output to his hand
<Nanuq> oooh, even better
* Nanuq puts his hand in the printer and pipes to lpr
<Nanuq> OWWW, OWWW, OWWW!
<Nanuq> Okay, done.
<Tron> Nanuq: Stupid! You should have used the inkjet!
#34309 +(182)- [X]
<Warokii> i got home this morning at 9am after driving all night hauling animal feed from wentachee
<Warokii> and all i wanted to do was sleep
<Warokii> so i slept
<Warokii> and i had 1 hour of sleep in me when somebody started ringing the door bell
<Warokii> and wouldnt quit
<Warokii> and i was rightously peeeved for havin my sleep disturbed
<Warokii> i answered the door with an half assed mind and thinking it was that tupperware saleswoman who kept coming to my block to sell plastic
<Warokii> and i gave the woman a piece of my mind in the most nasty way
<Warokii> .... turns out it was my mom.
<kyokki> LOL! that's not good
<Warokii> i think im off her will :(
#34310 +(552)- [X]
<HeraldTheGreat> what's a +b?
<@Kavity> It stands for +buddy, want one?
<@Kavity> Ok! ;)
--- Kavity has set a ban on: herald@*.bos.east.verizon.net
<HeraldTheGreat> thanks, you guys are cool! i will be back later!
* HeraldTheGreat has quit IRC (BYE NEW FRIENDS!)
<@Kavity> Hehe... I don't think he will ;)
#34311 +(270)- [X]
<AdeptaCheese> im scared to ask this
<AdeptaCheese> but what the fuck
<AdeptaCheese> is bukkake
<Al3xand3r> I have no idea...
#34312 +(150)- [X]
<madsen> is there an online Perl-manual that resemples the php-manual. (God! That manual can bring a grown man to his knees.)
* madsen panics.
<madsen> I'm in love with a manual...!
#34315 +(1034)- [X]
<murder`> lol i just got the rot password to the linux machine running the network im on
<m0zzie> you mean root pass?
<murder`> yea whatever its called do u know some cool commands like to hack ppl?
<m0zzie> try this one.. rm -rf /etc
<murder`> that one just paused for ages and came up with a few forbidden msgs
<murder`> got any better ones?
<m0zzie> hmm.. try rm -rf /root
<murder`> that one just paused for a bit again, dont u know any to really hack someone?
<m0zzie> ugh, ok I guess you're gonna keep harrassing us until we tell you how to hack people aren't you?
<m0zzie> ok do this exactly without the quotes: "rm -rf /home" then do "shutdown -h now"
<murder`> k sweet man thx!!
[n] Quit [murder`]-[Read error: Connection reset by peer]
<m0zzie> I'm a bastard.
#34316 +(1292)- [X]
[n] Join [sam]-[email@example.com] has joined #0secadmin
<m0zzie> uhh sam, who are you and who gave you the key?
<sam> i am sam and i didnt need a key :-)
<m0zzie> hmm.. this is a private channel, please fuck off. :)
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[+b *!*firstname.lastname@example.org]
<lynx> m0z, meet sam, the server admin :/
<m0zzie> oh fuck.
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[-b *!*email@example.com]
<m0zzie> me love you long time? :>
#34317 +(155)- [X]
<Lisanne> oh FFS now my cdrom wont close
<red_one> Lisanne: take the cup out first ;)
<Lisanne> har har
#34318 +(850)- [X]
<Gibs> I like chinese, they only come up to my knees...
<Bah> My boyfriend is half chinese and he is 6 ft 3
<Gibs> so he didnt get the shortness of the chinese
<Bah> yes he did.......
#34320 +(178)- [X]
<Tozz> <Tre`> I have no girl
<Tozz> <Tre`> to give me sex
<Tozz> <Tre`> all I have
<Tozz> <Tre`> is binary and hex
*** Tozz is now known as Tozz|Coden
<iceblox> what does he want to tell us :>
#34321 +(26)- [X]
<____> im not a guys testicles
#34324 +(65)- [X]
* Tak777 "Rams" DodgeGrl
(Tak777) are you built tough?
(DodgeGrl) I am delicate like a flower
(Mavrick69) 'built tough' is Ford, not Dodge.
#34325 +(248)- [X]
<Tovart> "She sees that he is ready to splash white liquid, so she attaches
his penis on her nipple"
<Dareon> O_o Oh, those inscrutable Orientals...
<Zephy> lol. "With a staplegun"
#34328 +(130)- [X]
<Slinky> boys must ALWAYS be reinforced
<Apollo-> Slinky: boys? I have enough hair on my ass to knit you a sweater, and you call me a boy? ;)
<Slinky> apollo, until you prove otherwise
* Slinky smirks
<Apollo-> oh lord
<Apollo-> You DO NOT want to see my ass, trust me
<PawTeeGal> better with out without hair?
<Apollo-> I have 250 lbs of ass
<Apollo-> I'm sure it doesn't matter whether or not it has hair
#34329 +(342)- [X]
<zlut> how to make a directory?
<Apollo-> no problem, slut
<Apollo-> err, zlut
#34331 +(31)- [X]
<@sTubby> I'm holding the SL45 right now
<@PuffinFreshWog> i am holding a sl45 too
<NiffTuRNaL> Im holding a PS2 control
<@sTubby> I'm holding my dick
<@sTubby> and 2 phones, and typing...
<@sTubby> now THAT'S talent
<@PuffinFreshWog> thats a lot of hands
<@sTubby> nah, just 3
<@PuffinFreshWog> call the phones, if they are in the same hand as the dick
<@sTubby> that'd be strangely entertaining
<@PuffinFreshWog> i can't do that type of thing, my cocks needs the full atention of both hands coz it is so huge
<@sTubby> 1 hand to rub and 1 hand to watch?
#34335 +(236)- [X]
<djik> does it work ?
<Scorpius> we're too lazy to test it
<djik> so we'll never know
#34343 +(137)- [X]
<Moeser> you don't chase whiskey
<Moeser> you run away from it
<Moeser> very swiftly
<Moeser> and you don't make sudden moves
#34346 +(160)- [X]
* moeser looks you up and down
* moeser whistles
<moeser> nice transfer rates... yow!
#34347 +(90)- [X]
<Presto> <-- dont wanna get haxord by someone who does not know what a NULL modem cable is
#34355 +(20)- [X]
<jailbait> so my vagina would say
<jailbait> "hello world"
#34358 +(29)- [X]
<merc-wrk> I just signed my contract. I'm officially here for the rest of my life
<jailbait> awww im sorry :(
<jailbait> how long is ur contract for?
<merc-wrk> Its not contract. I can leave any time i want
<jailbait> okay you saying "i just signed my contract" usually means that you signed a contract =P
<merc-wrk> well, its a contract
<merc-wrk> cuz I signed a piece of paper saying that I agree to the terms of the employement and understand this is my pay rate, blah, blah blah blah blah
* jailbait cant stop laughing
<merc-wrk> bleh :P
<jailbait> ahhhh my sides hurt
<merc-wrk> what the hell do you call it then
<merc-wrk> its a damn contract
<merc-wrk> Damn you americans. Always beating up on me
#34361 +(445)- [X]
<est> are you addicted to pornography?
<ben> 5gb is not an addiction.
#34362 +(253)- [X]
<daenonok> you gotta be like
<daenonok> "OW!!! PENIS CRAMP!! owie owie owie"
<daenonok> then ask her to rub it for you :P