#31836 +(1385)- [X]
<Meridian> best thing about ramen noodles
<Meridian> my girlfriend did NOT know what they were
<Meridian> so i was making some
<Meridian> and i put the flavouring packet thing on the sink
<Meridian> and she sees the packet
<Meridian> and what SHE sees
<Meridian> is a little condom shaped wrapper
<Meridian> saying "beef flavour"
#31867 +(713)- [X]
<%pain> let's do some al quida jokes. anyone? /:
< baggy> well has anyone ever noticed that The War Against Terrorism is never abbreviated as TWAT ?
#31891 +(208)- [X]
<tester> what did I miss?
<maklic> i was just fucking AdrameleK's momma
<maklic> other than that nothing much
<tester> send the log
#31899 +(1125)- [X]
<RaZ> I should burn my windows ME CD
<Thrawn> no piracy
<RaZ> I mean BURN it
#31914 +(604)- [X]
<Aniki> WOW i just found a hidden porn folder on my hdd
<Cyber_Akuma> aniki found the temporary internet files folder
#31939 +(465)- [X]
<pleb> hey how long does it take to get back the results from a fertility test?
<Ouroboros> Do you have a girlfriend?
<Ouroboros> 9 months.
#32048 +(297)- [X]
<TC> I have a very bad fear of unknown places
<Nastard> like the congo, or the african deserts, or a vagina...
<TC> I dont fear African Deserts
#32082 +(1494)- [X]
<Farrod> One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
<Farrod> I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass.
#32137 +(589)- [X]
<magnafi> portuguese is very dificulty to speak
<magnafi> its like chinese or japanese..
<magnafi> very dificulty
<litigator> kind of like english
<magnafi> english is too much easy to speak
#32153 +(897)- [X]
<@bandXXX> HAHAHA clipse is on new justin timberlake album
<@bandXXX> sad thing is
<@Blaxthos> that you know this
#32223 +(183)- [X]
<daggorath> What are the good Hindu channels on Efnet?
<fdog> I am not to be knowing what the good hindu channels are to being
#32231 +(18)- [X]
<Sk8rDiE> So I was trying to get up the bleachers,
<Sk8rDiE> And this real ugly filipino girl wouldn't move
<Sk8rDiE> So I'm like "'scuse me"
<Sk8rDiE> and she just sits there, staring.
<Sk8rDiE> So i was like "Bitch, Don't make me bust out the ethnic slurs!"
<Sk8rDiE> I don't think she understood the dialect.
#32235 +(9)- [X]
[bew] besides, the only reason ryans mom rides the short bus is because RicePWR's mom's fat-ass broke off the back half when she sat down
[veedub15psi] bew: BHAHAHAHAH
#32381 +(1328)- [X]
<qurve> She's all like "We're in a relationship, you can't go around having
sex with people"
<qurve> Then we get into this huge debate about what defines 'people'
#32482 +(83)- [X]
<drake> this is katie youre a potato throwing asshole (according to your cousin)
<drake> eat dick you poster child for rogain
<terence> <sound of a potato being thrown over the internet> SMACK!
#32491 +(-341)- [X]
<Atrox> So there I was, hunched over Vorgen's dog. The car's grill kind of left this nice opening in it's abdomen, cause really, I wasn't about to fuck a dead dog in the ass, that's just wrong. Anyway, I was thrusting hard, and like hit something hard, I was all WTF, then realized I fucked through the dog and hit the cement. Was wierd.
#32493 +(201)- [X]
kydruid: actually Laura Bush is working undercover for the DEA... every gram she snorts is another off the street.
#32494 +(196)- [X]
<mrburrito>I have pulled my 9110 apart so many times, and I still can't work out what's wrong with it...
<loz>Maybe the fact that you've pulled it apart that many times?
#32501 +(-42)- [X]
(FTF)like that girl in biology class, the teacher said that there is glucose in sperm, then the girl said, then how come it tastes so salty ?
#32508 +(466)- [X]
<Uncle_Istavan> I had some friends once but they keep leaving me
#32509 +(1169)- [X]
<Chelly> What is your biggest fear?
<JasonRene> living long enough to become isolated from anyone who cares about me, and then dying alone.
<JasonRene> You asked ;)
<Chelly> I know
<Chelly> I was expecting something like spiders.
#32514 +(41)- [X]
·fetter· do you know how to write appedectimy
·fetter· the surgical operation
•Nt_HoleMan• i have no idea
•Nt_HoleMan• i quit school at the age of 3
•Nt_HoleMan• because all the teachers were playa hatin on me
·fetter· you dont go to school?
•Nt_HoleMan• read above
#32522 +(868)- [X]
<\> she was gonna come over and hang out tommorow
<\> but then... this stupid sept 11th thing
<\> and she has to go play in the band at some picnick
<\> hows that for you
<\> terrorists are cockblocking me.
#32526 +(1404)- [X]
<guugle> haha im gonna submit that to bash.org
<Phyresis> What does that one count as? LOL, I AM SUCH AN INTERNET ADDICT?
<Masa> How about HAHAHA THIS TYPO MADE ME LOOK HOMOSEXUAL AND/OR STUPID!
<Phyresis> "This real life situation is analogous to a computer/internet situation!" "LOL U NERD"
<Masa> lol i r n00b n i sux @ computars!!11 watch me format my hd on accident!!12~
<guugle> hold on my mom is being my bitch
<guugle> ...I MEAN A BITCH
#32528 +(20)- [X]
<Dillinger> i think i'm going to try that at the mall
<Dillinger> wear a tower costume
<Dillinger> and have a friend ram into me at full speed
<Orestes> You'd need someone dressed up as a zombie fireman.
<Dillinger> or just have someone dress up as a fireman and then throw himself onto the ground
<Dillinger> and yell "OH NO I AM HURT WAH WAH"
<Dillinger> and then fucking run.
#32532 +(128)- [X]
<[SA]Gaijinchi> I was ripped as a kid. When my friends wanted to go somewhere on bikes, I ran and kept up
<[SA]Gaijinchi> Then I turned 16 and promptly got out of shape
<ricequeen> Yeah, masturbation got me too
<[SA]Gaijinchi> You can masturbate and drive at the same time?
<[SA]Gaijinchi> That's incredible.
<ricequeen> It's an okay substitute for road head
<[SA]Gaijinchi> that's all kinds of dangerous. I mean, what if you hit a bump or something?
<hoe4damoney> Just get a crash test dummy to fellate you
<hoe4damoney> its safer
<ricequeen> I call it, "Living on the edge"
#32535 +(-143)- [X]
<Acero> you're all a bunch of niggers who are going to die on your fucking computers!
<Morris> That'd suck
<Morris> But you're here also, so stfu.
<Acero> i'm fucking leaving, fuck this!
#32537 +(229)- [X]
<Froggyz0r> well you know warez is just like wanking....your a lier if you say you dont and a fool if you say you do.
#32538 +(288)- [X]
<Skuzzi> swing programah swing programah saaawwwwiiiiing programa
<j0e> Skuzzi: my opinion of your mental status remains unchanged.
#32541 +(828)- [X]
<enntee> i think my fucking cat is pregneant
<angry> you should have used protection.
#32547 +(372)- [X]
<OS|flu> aww poor canadian soldiers
<iZac> canadian soldiers? is it oxymoron night?
<enntee> you're here, so it's just moron night.
#32548 +(210)- [X]
<enntee> my parents told me one time we were in a fancy restaurant, i was
a child, and i had gone to the bathroom to take a piss
<enntee> i ran out of the bathroom screaming "i made bubbles! i made
bubbles!" because i had always wanted to make bubbles in the toilet water,
but never had enough pee
#32550 +(60)- [X]
* tall-sew is a dog person
<eatenn> no, you're a fat fucking person
#32552 +(200)- [X]
[00:55] <enntee> i'm about to go to seven eleven and i'm gonna hit
on the clerk
[00:55] <enntee> even if she looks like ass
[01:00] <enntee> off i go
[01:11] <enntee> damn. she was too ugly.
#32560 +(130)- [X]
-:- enntee beats the MCSE out of hakk
#32584 +(389)- [X]
* Preachy gets out the guitar
<Ron> you play guitar? cool
<Ron> i play guitar too
<Preachy> actually I call my cock a guitar
#32591 +(574)- [X]
<ZWeirdVT> how's life?
<BubFISHi> it's ok for a fiber filled oat square covered in cinnamin, but personally, I prefer Frosted Flakes... why do you ask?
#32638 +(745)- [X]
<Ronwe> I never claimed to have a good memory....
<Malice> Maybe you did. It's not like you'd remember.
#32659 +(2301)- [X]
<Tizitchy> you know what sucks
<Tizitchy> I was staring at this girls ass in the mall while waiting in line
<Tizitchy> she was by a trash can
<Tizitchy> and this guy was behind me
<Tizitchy> said "Get a good view?"
<Tizitchy> i was laughing and said "yeah"
<Tizitchy> he goes "That's my daughter"
#32660 +(288)- [X]
<pyroman> I am unilateraly discontinuing diplomatic relations with hexbit.
<hexbit> we had diplomatic relations?
<pyroman> I don't need tsalmavet's or anyones support, I prepared to take action alone if necessary. pyroman can not just sit back and let someone like hexbit continue to harbor weapons of mass stupidity, and do nothing.
#32680 +(60)- [X]
<!Suicidal> Thats how stupid are government is
#32701 +(450)- [X]
<Snobbenunge> does anyone waht error: 0x1d1c4e86 referenced memory at 0x0000000000 the memory could not be read mean? :D
<Snobbenunge> what does it mean
<Snobbenunge> i only get it when i'm browsing the harddrives
<matricks> someone forgot to check if a pointer was null before reading from it..
<Snobbenunge> ok. so some troubles with the mouse drivers?
#32752 +(-30)- [X]
<Quad> [Two men are standing face to face. One man is with a woman who looks suspvcisouly like a prostitute. Money is exchanged, and the woman leaves with the second man]
<Quad> Fur trader
<Quad> [Molson drops from the sky]
<Quad> Molson....Canadian for Budweiser
#32758 +(109)- [X]
<NativeAmericanPsycho> It's a black thing.
<EMWCPrez> Like KFC?
#32775 +(1672)- [X]
<dranyam> It's nature. How do you make nature against the fucking law? It grows everywhere. Serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying to God made a mistake. You know what I mean, it's like God on the seventh day looked down on his creation:
<dranyam> "There it is, my creation, perfect and holy in all ways. Now, I can rest."
<dranyam> [Mimes God looking around - spotting pot]
<dranyam> "Oh my me."
<dranyam> "I left fucking pot everywhere."
<dranyam> "I should never have smoked that joint on the third day ..shit."
<dranyam> "That was the day I created possums. Haha. Still gives me a chuckle."
<dranyam> "If I leave pot everywhere that's gonna to give humans the impression they're supposed to... 'use' it."
<dranyam> "(sigh)Now I have to create Republicans."
#32784 +(372)- [X]
<cheese^> a virus that reboots your computer all the time seems kinda pointless
<@BenKenobi> •cheese• i dunno.. microsoft makes millions selling it every day
#32803 +(33)- [X]
<Frozen-Solid> i say fuck rare, the have only made 1 game for GCN, and it's taken 5 years
<agapencs> that's true...but x-box will have some really nice titles in 2007
#32816 +(774)- [X]
<mogismog> I hate people who come onto IRC and whine
#32856 +(259)- [X]
<MiGiSHu> Harvey Norman?
<Crazy> fuck the shut up
<MiGiSHu> So the next person who says "shut up", I gotta fuck?
<Crazy> shut up!!!!
#32857 +(559)- [X]
<NiffTuRNaL> its ok BenZor
<NiffTuRNaL> windows isnt real
<NiffTuRNaL> its just a fairytale linux users use to scare their kids