#29198 +(1171)- [X]
<Coldfeet®> having sex after 20 beers is like playing pool with a rope
#29237 +(34)- [X]
(irix): team colorado
(jot): we only play people from states that matter
#29243 +(211)- [X]
<tate> has anyone played this Amercan's Army game?
<Goonigoogoo> I've read about it, but never downloaded it
<Beerman> I wonder if you can mod it
<Beerman> "talibans army"
<Beerman> that would be a fun game
<tate> yeah, and you can throw rocks, and mail Anthrax
<tate> and hide in caves
#29247 +(350)- [X]
<dingo> did you hear the polish government bought 5000 septic tanks?
<twolovvers> what in the hell for?
<twolovvers> well, as soon as they figure out how to drive them, they're going to invade germany.
<twolovvers> I'm very naive, and I pay no attention to world news
<twolovvers> so if your bullshitting me I havn't a clue
<dingo> septic tanks....drive them...going to invade...
<dingo> you dye your hair blonde lately?
<twolovvers> no it's dark brown with a hint of red
<twolovvers> septic tanks aren't meant to be driven
<twolovvers> so your making a polish joke to mock them?
<dingo> i think they're mocking themselves at this point.
#29261 +(295)- [X]
<+atseleon> like that girl in biology class, the teacher said that there is glucose in sperm, then the girl said, then how come it tastes so salty
<@LillieCharlotte> smart gal
#29269 +(-44)- [X]
<JP|> I'd choose unix over linux
#29276 +(926)- [X]
<slappy> I leave punk on for my cats so they'll get more hardcore while I'm out
#29284 +(449)- [X]
<enajyram> support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have.
#29291 +(541)- [X]
<acetylcholine> if it's 2 things i hate it's racial profiling and arabs on my airplane
#29317 +(512)- [X]
<Logik-> ymir wants to hire a personal assassin to kill me
<Logik-> <---- has land mines in his yard
<tra__> what happens when the grass cutter comes to clip the lawn?
<Logik-> tra__, they're not allowed to mow certain spots :P
<tra__> so the hitman just treads through the mowed spots, since its easier to walk there anyway?
#29321 +(360)- [X]
<tima> k, i'm starving
<OlDirtyB> im starving too
<EConc_> god, since when did #nerdz become ethiopia?
#29353 +(135)- [X]
<lasereyes> im looking at that dazzle mpeg2.. but its like 350 bucks
<finneas> can you put a price on quality piracy?
#29355 +(400)- [X]
<finneas> the only good thing tom green has been in is drew berrymore
#29356 +(171)- [X]
<SC__AT> 3. What united states president was in office during the civil war?
<SC__AT> Times up! The answer was: forty three
#29379 +(329)- [X]
<@Pumiliocumfustis> these speakers have so much bass
<@qrg> how do they fit fish in such small boxes
#29402 +(426)- [X]
<misogynic> Senor: tell me, is your mother still attractive?
<SenorWeird> for someone her age, I'd say so.
<misogynic> Can I have her number?
<misogynic> What's her name?
<misogynic> Is that her honest number?
#29403 +(350)- [X]
<Chaos[X]> Overclocking can screw everything up.
<Chaos[X]> I've seen it break up marriages.
#29423 +(788)- [X]
<DoomLord9> heh. reminds me of the other day. my mom walked up to me with a pair of panties and says "i found these in your room. care to explain" i was like "......no, i can't explain that, but thank you for the hope that women come into my room and strip when i'm not there. you have made my day happy"
<DoomLord9> unfortunetly, they were just my sisters she had just taken out of the wash. i was kinda bummed about that
#29433 +(2093)- [X]
Nastard> i think i just found an avi of shania twain sucking some guy off
<matt> that don't impress me much
#29435 +(610)- [X]
<nastsm0m> jakob do me a favor?
<nastsm0m> never get married
<nastsm0m> never breed
<nastsm0m> in fact don't even date
<Greylark> don't ever leave your room
<nastsm0m> yeah that either
<jakob> you just described my life... :(
#29442 +(1381)- [X]
<Phuser> Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash...I took 65 pictures of myself making a sandwich...My neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
#29468 +(254)- [X]
<Guilty> <v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next person has a REALLY good idea what i did
<Guilty> Approve Kill Nothing
<gfjgfjgfj> what does nothing do?
<Mdar> is that a rhetorical question?
#29471 +(27)- [X]
<MoLsOnGiRL> hehe ive been just laughing my ass off here the past half hour
<Owyn> I think we figured as much.
<Owyn> Giggly? Now you have the "munchies"?
<Owyn> Or are you starting to "burn out"
<MoLsOnGiRL> hey hey
* Owyn runs out of pot slang
#29498 +(257)- [X]
<ReWom> IRC is full of sexy and beautiful people, they just send you the wrong pictures.
#29529 +(487)- [X]
<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?
#29549 +(290)- [X]
<@rudesmurf> my mom got me "real brewed" iced tea
<@rudesmurf> it tastes like cold tea
<@pikacheney> iced tea is cold tea...
#29550 +(204)- [X]
* Re-monkey (email@example.com) has joined #geekissues
<Re-monkey> It's all the people I've been laughing at.
<Re-monkey> I love reading QDB.
<Re-monkey> This is almost like seeing all the great celebs in one place.
<Re-monkey> But, not quite.
#29649 +(276)- [X]
* mike rolls eyes WITH SEXY RESULTS
<RushMore> you got porn behind eyeballs?
<RushMore> lucky cunt
<RushMore> mine is on the bottom of my foot
<RushMore> which is relly ackward for masturbation
#29653 +(132)- [X]
<KuWaItdog> I can get rid of the ban with my defence extrem ban programme.
<KuWaItdog> I have an american friend he have been in mirc network for 15 years I'm not lying I can tell to give you something I dont know what it is but it is a virus [strong virus]that you cant put ignore or cancel the virus will get in your computer before you know it so what you think scared?
#29657 +(701)- [X]
<Azrel> that was a pain in the ass
<AnalBoy24m> I know the feeling.
#29660 +(161)- [X]
([Locutus]) wait a minute..here we have its in my enbglsi dictionary.." Scrimp, 'prawn "
([Locutus]) know it now?
(@Wagoo) I look at prawn on the net all the time
(@Wagoo) I hate when they ask for your credit card details though :/
#29663 +(293)- [X]
<Olan> I haven't been in her for a while...
<nukem> i'm sorry to hear that
#29666 +(720)- [X]
<eX|NYC> wtf my mom tells this lady to come over then she leaves 10 secs b4 she comes so im stuck here with this lady like uhh dude i dont know wtf she went leave me alone let me play my computer games >_<
<PJ> its called a baby sitter.
#29667 +(232)- [X]
<mentality> THE WORLD IS GOING TO END
<darkLem> and it's coming in all caps.
<mentality> WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE
#29685 +(713)- [X]
@|C|REDS`: I want a fuckin gf
@|C|Nemur: you want a girlfriend or a geforce? plz be specific
#29688 +(318)- [X]
<ATAD> I saw a girl that has a pikachu umbrella
<ATAD> it's all yellow, has pikachu's face on it, and 2 pikachu ears sticking off the top
<Wagoo> Was she seckzy?
<ATAD> I was looking at the pikachu umbrella more
<Wagoo> "Hello my dear, that's an awfully attractive pikachu umberella you have there, maybe you'd like to come back to my dorm room to discuss it's forms, themes, and concept."
#29693 +(150)- [X]
* Amuck50 designs some magic items for a D&D campaign
<Amuck50> heheh Arrows of Nuking.....
<Kyle> Cock ring of glory.
<Amuck50> cock ring of +2 protection
#29709 +(209)- [X]
<Threeboy> i think advertising other channels is like bay employees going into sears and shouting "HUDSON BAY COMPANY NEEDS MORE CUSTOMERS"
#29712 +(817)- [X]
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away) got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone turned back around...that haunts me
#29789 +(685)- [X]
<Boogaleeboo> I'm sorry your budget only allows for 5 dollars to spend on hookers
<Boogaleeboo> And I'm sorry your ugliness only allows sex with hookers
<Joe_> How much does yours allow, Boog?
<Boogaleeboo> You don't PAY
<Joe_> Ah, the confessions of a Boston rapist.
<Boogaleeboo> It's not rape if you kill them first
#29834 +(419)- [X]
<Wilfred> Do you think I could kick your mom's ass Justin?
<Wilfred> And remember...I've had weapons training.
<Michael> Masturbating in the closet doesn't count as "Weapons training" in Canada. No matter how thin and pointy it is.
<Wilfred> It's very thin and pointy.
#29841 +(596)- [X]
<Jim> WOAH, HUGE STORY FROM FOX NEWS
<Jim> KIDS WHO DRINK ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SEX
<Frinky> I never would have guessed that
<Swimguy37> no kiddin
<Jim> It's almost as shocking as their "there are perverts on the internet" story
#29845 +(8)- [X]
<Jedi-Ohki> yah, and im a newbie because i've been a. using mirc since...1998 b. been using the internet since...1995, or c. all of the above.
#29873 +(-23)- [X]
*** Joins: Becky (~ral919@RisaNet-5356.dialip.mich.net)
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Becky
(@Coffee): [Becky] Hmm..your cute.
#29889 +(358)- [X]
<shithead1> it appears my computer just deleted all the cookies.
<JustNoodle> now, all you have to do is rename it "cookie monster"
#29892 +(458)- [X]
CreeDi: I made a joke to this chick about how she was grumpy because she was
beaten a lot as a child, and it turns out she really was.
CreeDi: I felt about as big as a keebler elf testicle.
#29893 +(141)- [X]
dodee: yall need hobbies. =)
CreeeD: says IRC boy.
#29916 +(197)- [X]
<Squiggle> When I grow up, I wanna be arrested for masturbating in front of a daycare.
#29926 +(208)- [X]
<CreeDC> rsw: is the neice cute?
<rswAFK> it's not born yet.
<Dodee> that's young, even for matt.
<rswAFK> she's underage, anyway.
<CreeDC> rsw: but it's a girl for sure right?
#29939 +(33)- [X]
dodee: I look british.
dodee: I think it's the haircut.
[jhk]: it's probably the teeth