#27535 +(328)- [X]
<Red_Draco> "See the Pope, $5. Ride the Pope, $10."
#27608 +(467)- [X]
<Tuxedocat> The other day i noticed some similarities between Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and a meth lab
<Tuxedocat> if you stay there a while you see some strange shit
<Tuxedocat> there's stuff that can kill you if you mess with it
<Tuxedocat> it's run by a strange guy who doesn't like visitors
#27628 +(203)- [X]
<Guilty> If I ever smoked crack I'd be sure to put aside a few dollars per robbery for hygenic purposes
<Guilty> Like for every DVD player I jacked, buy a bottle of shampoo
<Guilty> Maybe some q-tips
#27650 +(522)- [X]
<Inter> 90 percent of chicks on the internet are cock teases.
<`MT> other 10% have cocks
#27690 +(814)- [X]
<Dragon-Beast> Yoshi's Story
<Dragon-Beast> so so so easy
<lazz|away> well it wasnt exactly aimed at older gamers
<Dragon-Beast> I know that, but I can't figure out how pregnant women are supposed to get the controller past the cervix so Nintendo can reach its target audience.
#27741 +(513)- [X]
<jagyd> I think you finally found a character not limited by your intellectual capabilities.
<Dwopple the Orc> huh?
#27791 +(478)- [X]
<Raenne> Damnit, my cookies are only half baked
<Tungee> Smoke em up a bit more then
<Futility> Heh heh heh... half baked.
<Raenne> I stuck em back in the oven :)
<Raenne> They are COOKIES, not PEOPLE
<Raenne> chocolate chip :)
<Tungee> The nazi's didn't believe the Jews were people either
#27794 +(1135)- [X]
<Vellius> ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english
#27823 +(580)- [X]
* m4z3` kicks dalnet
* Quits: m4z3` (firstname.lastname@example.org) (Killed (zone.hub.us.dal.net ()))
<Jagfire> And DALnet kicks back
#27863 +(1312)- [X]
(@BigTruck): 'magine havin' to go to the emergency room and fill out that little questionaire paper at the beginning "description of ailment"
(@BigTruck): i got a nerf football stuck in my hootie
*** Joins: hootie (email@example.com)
(@BigTruck): my mind just exploded
#27893 +(172)- [X]
<Rick^y>shit, one time, i jerked off into kleenex, but i didn't have enough time to through it out cause the phone rang
<Rick^y>so i forget about the kleenex, and couple hours later i end up wiping my mouth with it
#27914 +(418)- [X]
<aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
<aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people would automatically start masturbating.
#27921 +(314)- [X]
<Kiko> I love you guys
<@mjau> we love you too kiko
<@mjau> dude, kiko... isnt that a type of soy sauce
<@mjau> salty yet delicious
<Kiko> Thats what SHE said
#27944 +(1999)- [X]
UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather sword in Diablo 2.
#28007 +(512)- [X]
<|Crash|> condoms suck!
<iota> so do kids
#28033 +(107)- [X]
<@i-node> I thought battlenet checked to see if you were korean
#28049 +(639)- [X]
Statik : are you going to sleep?
Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(
#28053 +(121)- [X]
<+Fro`> flea markets have black people?
<+santa|> Fro` yeah, cheap too
#28079 +(152)- [X]
<PS_GAMER> Neill, just to be sure, that text compression problem with SD3 is a thing of the past, correct?
<Neill1712> PS: Well, I killed the text compression. But now the text compression's big brother is hiring someone to kill me, so I'll keep you posted
#28125 +(437)- [X]
<Rjx> I could be good at marketing
<Rjx> I'd target spam at geeks
<Rjx> "Viagra! Increase your Uptime!"
#28132 +(288)- [X]
<BMTwigzta> People act like 9/11 was some big thing, it's not like they crashed EFnet or anything
#28141 +(743)- [X]
<Dedushka> Syntax error: function hell() needs an argument. Please choose what hell you want to involve
<Dedushka> i dunno much fortran
<madiera> FORTRAN compilers are more like "error, gorak think u program not working. gorak consult rock and tree."
#28167 +(1096)- [X]
<worksoufy> man i need to eat
<Trak3r> that's "yoda" speak for "i need to eat a man"
<worksoufy> sick bastard you are
#28175 +(265)- [X]
<clay> my car is immobile
<ryanwrk> doesnt that go against the whole point of a car existing
<clay> i can push it around
#28214 +(278)- [X]
<krisi> anyone from ireland?
<Tbodd> no, we're all sober
#28226 +(395)- [X]
<Threeboy> don't use it ever when i'm in here please.
<_3D_Mike|work> use what?
<Threeboy> "nigger" it's fucking rascist.
<JonM> I am not racisct
<JonM> it was easier to type then african american
#28348 +(1842)- [X]
<tis_berni> I'm a construction worker
<tis_berni> for one more week
<tam> and then?
<moof> then he has to be the indian or the navy guy.
#28379 +(171)- [X]
<Tr1driph0n> shouldn't the past tense of shit be shot?
<Tr1driph0n> like, you know, 'i shot my pants'?
#28436 +(39)- [X]
<+santa|> wouldnt it be funny if eminem was mexican
<+santa|> and he was like.. Eminesse
#28496 +(343)- [X]
*** Quits: amyafk (firstname.lastname@example.org) (Exit: Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn isstill dark!)
<jm> Karma is the bird that shits on your car after you wash it from doing donuts on the local church's front lawn
#28605 +(280)- [X]
<Yukanojo> engrish.com is proof that the japanese are just as bad as the americans in that they like to spout stupid things in other languages
<Yukanojo> for all we know, those shirts with trendy kanji on them probably say "WOODEN BLOATED CHICKEN PENIS"
#28690 +(200)- [X]
<Falsity> tricks are fo kids
<ircbuddy> And hookers.
#28701 +(32)- [X]
<Damocles> one of my classmate from HS apparently got a boob job.
<ogre173> is it done good?
<Damocles> she works at the video store by my house.
<Damocles> I should go take a look.
<Jim258> or two...
#28881 +(222)- [X]
<Tbodd> I pull no punches with the women
<Tbodd> otherwise, they just get back up and beat the crap outta me
#28918 +(400)- [X]
•8:08PM• <Shiznaz> for our senior prank we took about ten buckets of white oil paint and painted in 30 foot tall letters "GAY PRIDE" on the black tar shingle roof of out school
<Shiznaz> I went to an all boy's school
<Shiznaz> you could see the GAY PRIDE from blocks away
<Shiznaz> they tried painting the white paint black so you wouldn't see it, but the shingles were more grey than anything, so it was just as easy to read
<Shiznaz> I think they've just reshingled it since then
<Huge_Spatula> I wish I went to an all boys school. All that fresh, untapped man ass
#28923 +(81)- [X]
<FZ1> raff on #banan
<FZ1> raff using irc.efnet.pl ATMAN Network, Warsaw, Poland
<FZ1> raff End of /WHOIS list.
<shaan> the polish have an irc server
<shaan> i wonder how many it takes to run it
#28970 +(449)- [X]
<jestuh> QDB TIP OF THE DAY: ALL THE GOOD NIGGERS JOKES CAN BE ACCESSED BY CLICKING 'BOTTOM'
#28972 +(313)- [X]
<@mike> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity
#28975 +(195)- [X]
<%jdp> i come first!
<%TruWizdom> yeah thats what i hear
<%TruWizdom> like after 12 seconds
#28978 +(23)- [X]
<GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
<GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine
#29003 +(801)- [X]
<nosliwc156> So I walk in to the living room, and Patricks watching Hanson on TV...
<nosliwc156> he turns around to me, and says "I would so totally do her"
<nosliwc156> and all I could think to do was turn around, and walk out...
#29025 +(378)- [X]
<Ed> Why is there so much fat porn lately? Someone needs to be shot.
<Rivorus> what the hell is wrong with fat porn?
<Toad> Yeah, I'm sure they all have great personalities.
#29040 +(242)- [X]
<spoony> i'm not bright but i can lift heavy things
#29043 +(318)- [X]
(|Kore|): whats the best webcam to get lads?
(DawnRazor): to get lads you'll need breasts
#29046 +(1589)- [X]
<zamros> My names Nickie.Im a 17 year old mommie to a beautiful 13 month old little girl(born July 21,2001).Im also 19 weeks pregnant with what is believed to be a boy..and our last child! Our meaning my husband.He's 19 years old and in the army.We've been together 3 years and married for almost 1. We're currently stationed in Fort Bragg,NC. Look forward to reading all your posts!
<zamros> DEAR NICKIE
<zamros> YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE
#29066 +(429)- [X]
<rudesmurf> oh, by the way, you have woman arms.
<@Chomps> not really, but I have child's wrists
<rudesmurf> why is that?
<@Chomps> because i cut them off some kid
#29074 +(729)- [X]
<Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become obsessed with terrible songs?
<Critíc> Pop culture.
#29083 +(928)- [X]
<Chyno> Oww...I was wanking so hard I got cramp in my leg.
<Chyno> I thinked the guy liked it though.
<Critíc> I don't think anybody saw that coming.
#29134 +(466)- [X]
<InkyTriviaBot> Question: what was the first zeppelin made of?
<InkyTriviaBot> answer: --------
#29151 +(144)- [X]
<SteveCase> what does one do here?
<hunnybun> jerk off to girls gone wild infomercials