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#26615 +(429)- [X]

< Time> that reminds me of when Manning and I installed OS/2 Warp4 on a box and during the install routine it said  something to the likes of 'join the hundreds of people on the internet'

#26636 +(869)- [X]

<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Real^Quasar> hmm
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
<Real^Quasar> ...

#26638 +(826)- [X]

<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it off.
<OniSlave> Did u get an A?
<greenocide> I hope so, cause they kept the video.  Asshole teachers are probably wanking it right now.

#26639 +(-19)- [X]

<gozu> it was an image, and expression, a metaphot

#26640 +(30)- [X]

<fox1324> fucking hell
<fox1324> my mom dosent want me to get that backpack cause she thinks its gay
<neo123> what backpack?
<neo123> HOLY FUCK THAT BACKPACK IS GAY
<fox1324> im gonna get that backpack and then have sex with like 40 hot girls
<fox1324> and then it wont be gay
<neo123> but somehow you will still be
<fox1324> say that after ive had sex with 40 hot girls

#26642 +(463)- [X]

losercmc: I'm going to kill splintercell, or at least get banned trying
Sgtsnowman85: yea u should
Sgtsnowman85: if i had enough money i'd fly to his city and track him down
Sgtsnowman85: and lick his ass
Sgtsnowman85: AH!
losercmc: hahaha
Sgtsnowman85: kick!
Sgtsnowman85: omg

#26646 +(284)- [X]

<GTi-brenter> just went to read the paper, our movie reviewer is so homo
<GTi-brenter> he gives low star ratings to all the blockbuster movies
<GTi-brenter> but then gives 4 stars to all the foreign films that tells about the french mans penis falling off
<GTi-fippy> that one was good

#26651 +(279)- [X]

*iRc-AsS* ok POOP story.......I knew this one fucked up kid.,.he came to ohio from idaho....there was a special tree hangin out over a freewayor something....daily....he would climb that tree..and while being hidden by the trees foliage..he would SHIT on the passing cars

#26654 +(310)- [X]

·SpOoNmAn· my grandpa gave me some cayenne peppers so i could cut some up and add it to food (I like spicy food), so i cut some up. I then went to take a piss. About 2 minutes later, I had a burning sensation on my penis that would make even the mightiest men weep like a little school girl..i tore my pants off and my penis was red and on fire. I jumped in the shower (this is at 2am) and let the cold water hit my peter, but alas, nothing helped.

#26655 +(1136)- [X]

SpOoNmAn· man, one time i had a Mr Heros roman burger...that fuckin thing passed thry my bowels in about 5 minutes...i was in the mall and had enuff time to run to the closest bathroom. I was about to sit down and my ass erupted, i blew shit all over the toilet and a guy was in the next stall....he screamed and ran out.

#26659 +(139)- [X]

<Gartuff|VivaLasVegas> so far my record is like 10+ trips to vegas, without ever getting married

#26661 +(679)- [X]

<JoeSCHM0E> i cook so badly, we pray AFTER meals

#26665 +(202)- [X]

<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head for money

#26666 +(1057)- [X]

<Threeboy> it's cause we're all infected with IRC.
<mutatedjellyfish> speak for yourself
<mutatedjellyfish> im a scientific observer of the victims of this "IRC"
<mutatedjellyfish> me and my associates are working on developing a cure
<Threeboy> doc, we need 55cc's of social life, STAT!
<mach_one> NOOOOOOOO!
<mach_one> get that needle away from me!
* mach_one runs back to his cave
<mutatedjellyfish> restrain him!

#26673 +(-18)- [X]

<[m1]> imagine filling a realdoll with ketchup and dropping it from the top of a building
<[m1]> and your friend is bellow, and you seti tup so he's standing there when the realdoll lands
<[m1]> and he start jerking off
<[m1]> and quoting Macbeth
<friar> imagine filling a realdoll full of mayonaise and leaving it in a carpark while it all oozes out
<friar> imagine putting your cock inside teddy ruxpin so you see the tip everytime he opens his mouth

#26677 +(391)- [X]

<Packet> Reminds me of the time I was naked and tried to break into that grade school...
<Packet> What were we talking about?

#26692 +(316)- [X]

<@Amitlu> errr
<@Amitlu> i mean do
<SpeedyPhoenix> do who?
<SpeedyPhoenix> >.>
<@Amitlu> -_-
* @Amitlu gives Speedy a black guy
<@Amitlu> eye*
<@Amitlu> If you quote me, I'll kill you >.<

#26703 +(225)- [X]

<Melissa> skinny is teh win
<Melissa> bettar than fat
<DarkShadow> true
<Melissa> nothing weirder than hearing a guys flab smack against you while fucking
<Melissa> talk about a mood killer

#26707 +(328)- [X]

<RokChik> I spent $125 on jeans, two shirts, a sweater thing, two pairs of sox, bra, undies, earrings, bracelet, and necklace
<sixtymhz> Rok: yeah, good job shopping.
<sixtymhz> Wish I could get all that for $125. Even bra and panties.
<sixtymhz> Would make my Friday nights go over better.
<ShinJN> whoa
* ShinJN steps away from 60mhz
<sixtymhz> ShinJN: hater
<sixtymhz> just playing, where's ya'lls sense of humor tonight?
<ShinJN> it's there
<ShinJN> i was joking
<sixtymhz> oh, so you wanna step closer?
<ShinJN> no

#26711 +(38)- [X]

* suicide6x packets stikys brain
<suicide6x> Now you are dumb
<Yottabyte> too late
<Yottabyte> Packeting stiky's brain would be like packeting a dial up connection
<Stiky> shut up
<Stiky> more like
<Stiky> 26k now
<Stiky> cause i smoked a bowl
<suicide6x> ha
<suicide6x> exploit!

#26714 +(47)- [X]

<+|TX|-Narflar> I thought he was Lawless's bitch =)
<@KK> he gets around
<@KK> LIKE VINYL ON A TURNTABLE

#26716 +(137)- [X]

* ogw is zooming along at 650
* ogw looks like that guy from the memorex commercials when he's sitting at his computer
<fo0bar> is it live?
<ogw> has anyone ripped that off yet?
<ogw> or have I just predicted the next Dell campaign
<ogw> "Is it dead?  Or is it Dell®?"

#26718 +(403)- [X]

(@atarax) People act like 9/11 was some big thing, it's not like they crashed EFnet or anything.

#26729 +(93)- [X]

<Dracostian> i just saw the worst movie ever
<spanker> your birth?

#26736 +(327)- [X]

<Jsangspar> PEEKAY! >:O I DEMAND USE OF hi
<Jsangspar> :\
<PK-Fortis> what?
<Jsangspar> violent mood-swings mid-sentence
<Jsangspar> I think I have PMS.

#26739 +(756)- [X]

<IDK> She sure didn't look 15 dancing around in her underwear.
<mothoc> that's probably why your friend was arrested
<IDK> The moral is, beware Russian/Eastern European accents.
<IDK> Apparently, the fall of the Soviet Union caused the world market to be flooded with weapons-grade jailbait.

#26741 +(554)- [X]

<Ouroboros> You know, I think the modern-day computer tech replaces, to some extent, the mystic of ancient times.
<Ouroboros> Here we have these strange, inexplicable boxes that are sometimes possessed by demons, and the mystic comes and opens the sacred box and waves his magic charms and things and somehow exorcises the spirits and makes everything good and whole again.
<Ouroboros> Then he takes all your money and disappears.

#26766 +(203)- [X]

<Spink> man
<Spink> I shot myself in the neck, that sucked
<Minion> it's too bad you obviously survived
<Spink> yeah
<Spink> If only it was a gun
<Spink> I'd probably be happier
<Minion> We'd all be happier
<Spink> jizz on my collar :/

#26767 +(173)- [X]

<Comedy> Now now, we all like our anal virginity.
<timbo`> mine was violated with my first poo

#26768 +(261)- [X]

<@kronz> dot <--
<@kronz> wait no
<@kronz> . <-- dot

#26770 +(872)- [X]

<Midtown> my family is going down the tube fast...
<Punkrwker> y is dat?
<Midtown> i walk into my rents comp room and my 13 year old bro is beatin off
<Midtown> so i run into my moms room laughing my ass off and i say "go look at spence"
<Midtown> she goes "is he playing with himself again"
<Punkrwker> hahahahahahaha
<Midtown> i almost fucking died laughing, then i was like ...."again?"

#26776 +(-3)- [X]

* Lieutenant_Dan thinks that it strangely tastes like poo
<Lieutenant_Dan> my mum made heaps of this cream caramel stuff
<Lieutenant_Dan> it's awesome!
<Jed_D`Lagged> Ew.
<Ragnarok`> did ur mum have a shit or something?

#26778 +(25)- [X]

<LunchPailTree> the moral of this story is: if you have no morals, go get yourself a 12 year old friend so you can fuck her after you drug her

#26791 +(657)- [X]

<bn> YOU SON OF A BITCH
<Watts> bn raises an interesting point

#26798 +(1294)- [X]

<fox> i just banged my boob and lost my dog :(
<itchy> better than losing your boob and banging your dog

#26803 +(626)- [X]

<irq> so i was spanking-the-monkey for all it was worth and just about to cum
<irq> when my dad bangs on the door
<irq> i say "i'm comming"
<irq> and my dad says "that wont help you open the door"
<irq> now i am going to need theorpy for life!

#26804 +(35)- [X]

<SupaSupa> I got an Eclipse and it is missing the 3 bottom gears, wtf is wrong with it
<Monte`SS`> bahahahahaha
<Monte`SS`> "missing"
<Monte`SS`> whered they go?
<SupaSupa> They are hiding

#26811 +(-59)- [X]

<Qualjyn> you fucking pussy ass fucker
<Qualjyn> i hate your fucking mom you bitch
<Qualjyn> suck my cock crap face
<Qualjyn> -
<Qualjyn> a haiku by Qualjyn

#26819 +(337)- [X]

<CM^> Im just two letters and an arrow to you, arent I?

#26837 +(128)- [X]

<Shephard> what I look like in real life is not relevant
<Shephard> Imagine Adolf Hitler

#26905 +(667)- [X]

<AxlRs> Wow the bottom 50 of quotes sure seems to consist of geeks bashing everything from the Irish to blacks to gays.
<AxlRs> Makes me think there are a lot of computer nerds out there living in the closet secretly yearning for a big black Irish cock in the butt.

#26915 +(-33)- [X]

<toilet2k3> im full of shit
<toilet2k3> ://///////////////////

#26937 +(281)- [X]

[8:39pm]«+ w2o » Are you religious?
[8:40pm]«@ Dwarf» no Christian

#26945 +(778)- [X]

<crisp> http://www.sexfantasyzone.com/main/category.cfm?Category=7&aff=12691
<bongy> frankly, i'm getting myself one of those!
<bongy> "Glow In The Dark Vagina Orifice. It looks so real, especially during use. Mild lime scent."
<bongy> tara, does your orifice glow in the dark?
<Teargarden> only if I have a flashlight up my ass
<Teargarden> er...um...nevermind

#26967 +(756)- [X]

<^Tony_Soprano^> TommyT, we all knw that all girls on mirc are guys, all guys are guys, and little boys are FBI agents

#26968 +(236)- [X]

<LilGCube740-> im not an idiot i just dont like things that are too comlicated

#26969 +(392)- [X]

<Darth-Phenom> I remember in third grade I was taught that it's sinful to erase the word "God".  But now I backspace "god" when I want to type "good" so frequently I'm obviously going to Hell.

#26977 +(509)- [X]

<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot

#26981 +(34)- [X]

<@lucid> good warez comes to those who wait ;)

#26984 +(142)- [X]

<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you.


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