#24892 +(179)- [X]
<Kevyn> Teehee, Rey Sanchez has dirt on his uniform. He is a dirty Sanchez.
#24893 +(596)- [X]
<VgameT> hahahaha, aol just froze
<Mooseka> VGAME THAT'S LIKE SAYING DROWNING VICTIMS ARE WET
#24895 +(156)- [X]
[!] @Techdude kisses doll sooooooo hard, there is an instant netsplit
[!] Quit: L|z\email@example.com\[[Netherlands.Worldircnet.com staff.worldircnet.com]]
[!] Quit: Amy\firstname.lastname@example.org\[[Netherlands.Worldircnet.com staff.worldircnet.com]]
#24896 +(482)- [X]
<elfpower> I wonder why they don't make kumquat juice? i mean, kumquats are pretty good.
<apollo> probably because it sounds like a mixture of semen and vaginal juice.
#24901 +(151)- [X]
<Guest_0135966> Want FUN??? Come to the MjsIRC Chat Network... For High Speed Servers, Ready To Party, With Another Server To Come!, simply type /server mjs48.bsd.st or /server kevin.mjs48.bsd.st or /server steven.mjs48.bsd.st .JOIN NOW!!!
* Guest_0135966 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<HunterSD> Want to FUCK OFF? Come to the Windows Desktop Party... For high speed fun, with another Alt+F4 to Come! Simply type /Quit, or /qUiT, or /QUIT... DO IT NOW!!!!
#24911 +(445)- [X]
<D4NG3R0U5> people with names describing themselves are lame
#24912 +(206)- [X]
<radish> id root you, but im busy trying to work out why it is that whenever i
get paid a series of bills arrive for just about the same amount of money
#24932 +(331)- [X]
<Actinium> so she's like "hey" and i swooned, drooled, and wet my pants
<Actinium> and I came back with "hello"
<Actinium> i think it's love
#24933 +(249)- [X]
<irq> what acronym is posv?
> Pirates of Silicon Valley.
<irq> ah yes
> And it sucks, because I actually had a decent tape.
> Then I loaned it to a co-worker, whose wife interpreted "silicon" as "silicone," got the wrong idea, and threw it out.
#24935 +(206)- [X]
<Sam_> hrmm help me come up with a new email address
<Sam_> i cant think of a clever name
<P|CK|E> Screwdriver Deluxe
<Sam_> im think TommySalami
<Sam_> or im gonna try to get Sam_
<Sam_> i wish that was my name
<Sam_> my real name
<Sam_> actually i'd rather have it be @Sam_
<Sam_> so i have ops.
#24936 +(-9)- [X]
<[HTK]-Goatmeal> why did dp leave?
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his shirt
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his pants
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his irc
#24940 +(526)- [X]
<Greggorian> is it a big book?
<Jakeb> take your hand and make a tight fist
<Jakeb> now move it up till it's a foot in front of your face
<Jakeb> now hit yourself in the face as hard as you can
<Jakeb> that's what if would feel like if i hit you in the face with that book, cause it's pretty big
#24942 +(120)- [X]
icecubes32: i don't like small tvs
icecubes32: i have to squint
fromullins: you are always squinting
fromullins: you're chinese
#24951 +(1087)- [X]
<Rance> the mating ritual has begun... i fixed her cable modem, she was impressed. *flex*
#24956 +(519)- [X]
<D4NG3R0U5> when a girl says 'blow me' what the fuck does she mean
<Ravenouse1> basically, she's telling you to suck her cock
#24958 +(393)- [X]
<Swish> the C5 military cargo plane?
<iban> that's what my mom's boyfriend used to pilot
<iban> yea the C5
<Swish> cooool :D
<iban> he said that when it loads it lowers the body down and opens the front and back
<iban> its' the only plane that gets down on all fours to take it from both ends
#24961 +(269)- [X]
<Swish> life is so ironic
<Swish> Happy hour: when you imbibe great quantities of depressant
#24962 +(339)- [X]
<Cyrix> you can only curse me to eternal damnation for so long
#24963 +(328)- [X]
<PolestaR> Swish I dont have your skill where you just say *smiles* online and the girl is yours
<PolestaR> I have to like, talk for like 5000 chars before I even get the phone number
<PolestaR> which is fake
#24965 +(320)- [X]
<sail> everyone must face their inner canadian
#24966 +(29)- [X]
<Current> Hey, in San Francisco, you don't leave dogs with tags unattended in Chinatown, because it just marks them as edible.
#24967 +(342)- [X]
<RevengePimpy> i found a lifestyles condom in my car
<RevengePimpy> in the back seat
<RevengePimpy> I can't reamber the last time someone rode in the back seat
<RevengePimpy> maybe someone broke into my car to fuck or something
<RevengePimpy> it boggles my mind
#24970 +(234)- [X]
<czth> cue jokes about dyslexic agonostic insomniac that stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog
#24973 +(138)- [X]
<RevengePimpy> man Steven Hawking is the shit
<RevengePimpy> He talks like a robot
#24976 +(322)- [X]
<Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost always have a fully functioning digestive system.
#24981 +(134)- [X]
<Benco> I'M ALL AnGSTY NOW!
<Benco> DAMN MY SOCIAL LIFE!
<Benco> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS!
<Siarin> Benco: Joy to the fucking world!
<zamros> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS TOO
<Siarin> Stupid people. =(
<zamros> THE PROBLEM IS NONE OF THEM WILL FUCK ME
#24990 +(401)- [X]
<Makaveli> let's change girlfriend to boyfriend
<Makaveli> then the statement is true
* SoulVoid whispers to Paralysis: Mak loves the cock
* Paralysis nods sagely
<Paralysis> mak, I have a proposition for you
<Makaveli> fuck you both
<Paralysis> oh, in that case, you already answered!
* Paralysis is away (mak :D).
#24999 +(231)- [X]
<steelcap> Imagine there was a way to make a monitor give off like way more radiation
<steelcap> and give people cancer remotely
<steelcap> thatd be an awesome trojan feature..
#25008 +(267)- [X]
*** Now talking in #christian
<ircbuddy> :matrix.de.eu.dal.net 432 ircbuddy irc-pope :Non-Ethical nickname
<ircbuddy> Even DALNet knows that the pope is 'non-ethical' :P
<BiblThmpr> excuse me
#25026 +(458)- [X]
<Cobain4ever 87> FUCK YOU
<Falaxor> pissing you off is like trying to pick up a fat, ugly women at a bar. It's too easy, and when you suceed, its no fun at all.
#25027 +(362)- [X]
<[avon]> oh man
<[av0n]> even vc++6 rocks
<[av0n]> after install
<[av0n]> do you want to reboot now?
<[av0n]> the system must be rebooted click ok to reboot
<[av0n]> and i bet you anything when i alt+f4 the box
<[av0n]> i'm gonna reboot
<[av0n]> just watch.
*** Quits: [av0n] (email@example.com) (Connection reset by peer)
#25031 +(405)- [X]
<pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a sound?
<Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
<Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it
#25117 +(191)- [X]
<Shinji> i have a #masturbation in my logs
#25190 +(158)- [X]
<Petersen> trying to fit in irc, social life and work
<Petersen> no time for sleep
<Z59B> irc, IS social life? isnt it?
#25276 +(425)- [X]
<Draven> w0ot. 150 MB porn movie done!
<+RedvaldezAWAY> not bad Cow
<@murder1> wd d/l a 150 mb movie when all you're gonna last is at 500kb
#25290 +(340)- [X]
(SithAdmin): paper cut on tongue
([TeMpEsT]): how did you manage that sith?
(Rambozo): he tried to eat out a paper model of anna kournikova
(Rambozo): it came as a cutout in a magazine
(Rambozo): "Put tab A into slot B" "I sure will!!"
#25302 +(35)- [X]
<Ein> Bottomless pits work on what I like to call "Toilet Paper roll on strings Theory"
<Stefanf> put meat on a string and lower it into the pit! PLANET CORE BBQ!
#25309 +(214)- [X]
<MK|sleeping> i'd be up for bumpin a taxi ;)
<MK|sleeping> 6 pissed gamers runnin away from a taxi
<MK|sleeping> in the midle of the countryside
<MK|sleeping> fall down a ditch or summit
<BadAss> get raped again by that q3 guy who just happens to be there
<MK|sleeping> see it on the news, 6 bodies were fond 2day beaten and left in a bloody pulp, with a note sayin "i 0wn j00, q2 sux, q3 0wn0rz j00" , cryptographers are stil trying to decypher the code
#25324 +(309)- [X]
<tweak> fucking stupid program
<OmniWyse> at least you know where your problem lies
<tweak> why can't I just plug my brain into the pc, lightwave reads what I want and does it
<tweak> this is driving me up the fucking wall
<OmniWyse> cause then MS would find a way to hack your brain and copy all the stuff you wouldnt want them to see
<tweak> nahh I'd have a brainwall
<tweak> I'd start thinking about tits and beer and they'd get bored and leave
#25325 +(114)- [X]
<Random> Mdk: did your mom actually teach Erica to be a ninja, does she come on irc, or is this all some big joke i'm not getting?
#25353 +(486)- [X]
<cylinder> should've left it on goatse when you got off
<Ody> that would've gone down well with the parents
<Ody> "MOM! TRISTAN'S BEEN USING YOUR CABLE MODEM FOR LOOKING AT HARDCORE MAN-PR0N AGAIN!!!!!"
<Ody> not again
#25357 +(1000)- [X]
<Talwin> I masturbate cause my hand doesn't give me any backtalk
<Talwin> I'm like "Get down there bitch"
<Talwin> And its all "!! k"
<Talwin> And afterwards it cleans itself off and doesn't say a thing
<soap> i some times make a little puppet with my hand, and make it talk before i masturbate with it, saying things like "no, please...i'm a virgin!" and stuff like that. you know, resisting a bit. i like foreplay when i masturbate.
#25372 +(16)- [X]
<Router> does anyone feed their furby with their penis
<BassDrop> those things are for pussies
<Router> i think that would be funny
#25375 +(593)- [X]
<jonathans> brooklyn rules
<jonathans> some dude just leaned on his horn in his old italian mobster car and it played the theme to the godfather
#25385 +(1725)- [X]
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#25387 +(42)- [X]
<Blaxxthos> dude these are no joke cameras
<Blaxxthos> 30:1 optical zoom
<Blaxxthos> 800:1 digital
<Blaxxthos> all 360x360 deg PTZ
<madog> you catch a lot of thieves?
<madog> people be tring to steal?
<Blaxxthos> all the time
<Blaxxthos> OH SHIT
<Blaxxthos> DARKIES IN THE HILFIGGER DEPARTMENT
#25408 +(177)- [X]
<Funkadelica> ¬_¬ it's a conspiracy
<maladroit> I LOVE THAT FACE
<@wildkarrdex> I HATE IT AND I WANT IT TO DIE
<Funkadelica> ¬_¬ -----> x_X
* maladroit CAUSES ¬_¬ TO DIE
<@wildkarrdex> HAHA THAT'S SO FUNNY
<@wildkarrdex> IN A FAIRER WORLD YOU WOULD ALL BE DEAD
#25418 +(222)- [X]
[@c-rOCK] no mad
[@c-rOCK] just because you and I and guilty had dealings
[@c-rOCK] we were drunk
[@c-rOCK] and we agreed it was a mistake
[@madog] Guilty was a good piece of ass.
[@c-rOCK] i gotta give him that yeah he was
#25464 +(13368)- [X]
<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
#25469 +(344)- [X]
<AtrocityX> is there a virus that can make your computer lag? heh
<DeskLazer> it's called AOL