#24084 +(136)- [X]
<Teratogen> 1) cubic zirconium ring, 2) marriage will take place at the Justice of the Peace (janitor can be witness)
<Teratogen> 3) reception at McDonald's, 4) honeymoon at my apartment
<Teratogen> if she doesn't like that, screw her.
#24166 +(316)- [X]
<x182ways> 4*7= 28, 28+2=20 dumbass
#24206 +(327)- [X]
<JonJonB> <FantasyGa> coz if u want i have this free user and pass to a gay site
<Onyx> JonJonB: tell an Oper he's bothering you
<JonJonB> Not yet dude, I'm about to get a free pass to a gay...um yeah...oper...
#24211 +(31)- [X]
<RS-Ryan> ok, so acting career?
<Websales_Arwen> yeah, I figured anyone with an enthusiam for tropical fish . . .
<Websales_Arwen> I'll just call you troy mcclure
<RS-Ryan> tropical fish.. you think that.. me and.. oh, no baby, you've got it all wrong.. that's all in the past now.. I couldn't have done it without you, you know
<RS-Ryan> you see.. when they said I was sleeping with the fishes, they meant... they though I was dead you see.. yea.. dead
<Websales_Arwen> oh I see
<Websales_Arwen> so enthusiast actually translates to "look but don't touch"
<RS-Ryan> yea.. exactly.. It's not the magazine for fish fetishists
<RS-Ryan> that mag is called Fuckin Fish Fancy
<Websales_Arwen> yeah, I subscribe to that mag
#24213 +(840)- [X]
<GKSetzer> If I was terra I'd break his neck plz
<JonJonB> If I was Terra I'd feel my breasts, then break his neck XDDDD
<melusine> That'd be a messed up scene: Terra looked up at the sorcerer in horror, rage and disgust roiling in the pit of her stomach. Pausing briefly to fondle her breasts, she transformed into an Esper and broke Kefka's neck in one swift motion.
#24245 +(939)- [X]
[freshestprince> wtf i just downloaded crono cross disc 2 from u and it dint work, y
[_ry0suke_> UHH IT WAS 32KB, DIDN'T YOU THINK IT COULD'VE BEEN INCOMPLETE
[freshestprince> ur a fuckin deceptive bastard
[freshestprince> ur banned for life from downloadin from me
[freshestprince> have a nice day dickhead!!!
[_ry0suke_> UH OH I'M DOWNLOADING YOUR JAY-Z MP3S, BAD BOI
[freshestprince> fuck u! ill hack u if u do that again
[_ry0suke_> I'M STILL DOWNLOADING IT
[freshestprince> stop it now
#24262 +(6232)- [X]
<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a bitch"
<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars
<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
<booradley> :: later ::
<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you feel?
<neshura> down in front!
<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
<booradley> * hard drive has died
<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!
<booradley> <modem> aaieee
<booradley> *modem has died
<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?
#24276 +(913)- [X]
Princess Ryo: lindsay, you're not good at keeping secrets at all.
SynistraDeath: rob my dad is in here
SynistraDeath: shut up
Princess Ryo: LINDSAY
Princess Ryo: EVEN IF WE ARE OCEANS APART
Princess Ryo: I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER
SynistraDeath: shut up
Princess Ryo: SEND ME MORE LETTERS
Princess Ryo: AND MORE PANTIES
SynistraDeath: ROB SHUT THE FUCK UP
Princess Ryo: PREFFERABLY SOILED PLZKTHX
#24280 +(40)- [X]
thedrhino: oh man, i got an email called, chefmaster blowout
thedrhino: it's like, we have way too many chefmasters, PLEASE BUY ONE
thedrhino: they're 18 bucks
thedrhino: they must suck ass
Princess Ryo: yes they must
thedrhino: what if it was rocks, and a bit of wood
thedrhino: you bang the rocks together to make the fire
Princess Ryo: and a long dirty branch
Princess Ryo: to stick the food on and hold it over the fire
thedrhino: with bugs in it
Princess Ryo: and a piece of paper with a guy with a pipe in his mouth anda chef's hat on smiling that says "YOU'VE JUST PURCHASED THE CHEFMASTER!" with step by step instructions
Princess Ryo: or just "YOU'VE JUST PURCHASED THE CHEFMASTER! HA HA, YOU SUCK"
#24290 +(1143)- [X]
<Brando`> NEXT THING YA KNOW SHE WAS LIKE FUCK OFF AND LEFT
<Brando`> HAHA SO I CALLED HER SHE WAS LIKE WHAT TOOK SO LONG
<Brando`> AND I SAID I COULDNT FIND A SAVE POINT
<Brando`> NOW IM SINGLE
#24301 +(555)- [X]
«+Stevey^666» klas, send me some girls
«+Stevey^666» hot ones plz :D
«+Klasnikov» ill send u jasmine, shes a model
«+Klasnikov» no shes an actual model, mostly plastic
#24304 +(595)- [X]
*** cK|idle has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)
*** bunka has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)
<ce|Chanto> umm thats not pen island thats penis land
#24333 +(192)- [X]
<Maven`> I'm god in 8 channels of the 8 i'm in. I own 228 sluts.
Preach> you're a fucking dork who needs to get laid
<Preach> nuff said
#24351 +(152)- [X]
<fo0bar> it's sad how I can watch these simpsons dvds and pick out the scenes that were cut for syndication
<ogw> yeah...so how's the Android's Dungeon doing for ya?
<fo0bar> worst... channel... ever
#24356 +(48)- [X]
<Legalize-> i eat a lb. of raw bacon in the morning and 10 slim fasts the rest of the day
#24393 +(238)- [X]
<pdd> we like hydraulics because
<pdd> we like to pretend we're matadors riding a rampaging bull
<pdd> even though matadors don't ride bulls
<pdd> i had to relate it somehow
<pdd> you understand
#24487 +(315)- [X]
<largo[mt]> "I'm so mis-understood.." .. "So ill wear all black, get really pale, read anne rice novels, and bite my boyfriend until he bleeds."
#24517 +(48)- [X]
<BitchX> [She] can't find the serial #
I told her it was on the disk...so she ejected the disk and told me it wasn't on it, then showed me the top of the disk
#24539 +(85)- [X]
<Horseymen> Don't you hate when you're doin' a girl.. hardcore.. giving her the love.. giving her the two finger g-spot discount.. and she friggin shoots her load all over your bed and all over you?
<Horseymen> I hate messes though.. chicks need to have that internal orgasm keep that fluid up in there, up in there..
<utahsaint> that is like
<utahsaint> the epitomy of being a stud
<utahsaint> giving a girl a squirting orgasm
<Horseymen> You taught me well, Craig!
<Horseymen> That Amanda chick came like a rainstorm in a tropical forest.. but it was all over her bed.. so it was all good.
#24598 +(38)- [X]
<kojimyuu> "IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WANT TO FORNICATE."
#24624 +(151)- [X]
«%Filash» Are there any ways I can access shit like mp3s on my windows drive through linux?
«+rawr|w3rk» no, linux converts them into .oggs because lunix is for communists
#24650 +(140)- [X]
* Aro|Sick dies slowly
<Straylight> sounds like you've gotten my nasty cold
<Straylight> GOOD GOD
<Straylight> IRC IS A TRANSMISSION VECTOR
#24663 +(685)- [X]
<DAL9000> man real life sucks
<Spec-Chum> sure does
<DAL9000> excellent graphics, no gameplay.
<Spec-Chum> like most games :p
<mcarp> my score is low
#24677 +(430)- [X]
<Surtur> so.. i saw david bowie two nights ago...
<Surtur> t'was good.
<|Wolf|> in concert?
<Surtur> oh yeah.
<|Wolf|> disregard what i just asked
<Surtur> no just walked into my bathroom and there he was, in the tub!
<AlumaSqrl> floating face down
#24709 +(676)- [X]
<GameSlt> I just got back from new york/canada
<GinandPlatonic> rad, and how was new york/canada?
<GameSlt> it was ok...went river rafting which was cooler than one would think
<GameSlt> my mom fell out...was funny.
<GinandPlatonic> oh heh...this river rafting, does it have multiplayer support?
<GameSlt> up to 8 players I think
<GameSlt> and a great frame rate
<GinandPlatonic>: oh, hmm...
<GinandPlatonic>: What about "camping whores"?
<GameSlt>: they are called rocks...the bastards
<GameSlt>: I "ownz" them
#24738 +(259)- [X]
<@Koru> I have a project due for school.
<@Koru> I have to make a collage about my mind body and soul, then explain it.
<hack||SAMA> Just post hentai and ecchi all over it, and say this...
<hack||SAMA> "As for mind, i really like Hentai, or 'Cartoon Porn'. Body is mainly about fapping ot that hentai, or 'Cartoon Porn'. and lastly, Soul. My soul is about finding a girl that loves me for who i am, a hentai-loving fruit."
#24745 +(220)- [X]
* Seph gives potatoe a *Super Tight And Really Super Erotic Groping Fondling Earth Shattering Sonic Boom Oh Gawd If You Stop I'll Kill You Better Than Heaven Yet Hotter Than Hell Watch Where Ya Stick Yer Hands Super Huge Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Don't Ya Dare Stop Touching Me Huggeroonies And A Knees Are Shaking Earth Is Trembling My Heart Has Stop Beating Passionit Knees Shaking Lots A Goosebumps Was That The Ground Moving Passionate Wet Deep
<Seph> wrong one
#24747 +(197)- [X]
* Seph flies herself to the north pole
<Seph> -her +him
<fluffy> well that certainly clears up a lot
#24748 +(222)- [X]
Marnen: you'd think he'd take a second to check spelling, though
Brodie: Mr. Wheaton is a busy man.
Marnen: They have machines to do that now.
sol-D: they also have machines that'll breathe for you. how cool is that>
Brodie: He's reminding people in a grocery store that he used to be famous.
Marnen: Besides, Wesley Crusher is too intelligent to make spelling mistakes in documents that the whole Federation's gonna read...*SLAP*...did I really say that?
spinn: you did, plus the *SLAP* and the part after it, which frankly I'd be more embarrassed about
#24749 +(41)- [X]
<Locke> WinAmp 3 sucks, well it rules cept I keep getting errors
#24753 +(195)- [X]
<Misfortune_Cookie> I went to CostCo today
<Misfortune_Cookie> and you shoulda seen the look I got when I tried to hitch a ride on the forklift
#24755 +(929)- [X]
<Foberts> Dude, you're an op on IRC.
<Foberts> You're a geek.
<tnoy> not really, i just gave the channel owner nude photos of my sister
<Foberts> Why do you have nude photos of your sister?
#24756 +(369)- [X]
<Asskicker064> High Templar One: Wanna merge?
<Asskicker064> High Templar Two: Archon me, baby.
#24757 +(-5)- [X]
(bec)jess is DA bomb
(larry)what her fathers a terrist :( ?????
(bec)shes da bomb not a bomb u idiot
#24760 +(108)- [X]
<shantanu> I cannot log to my remote machine as root using telnet
<shantanu> how do I disable that?
#24764 +(278)- [X]
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian
#24765 +(254)- [X]
--> kNIGits (~email@example.com) has joined #lgl
<Fryboy> if you're as big as your hostmask I"m sure your wife is pleased
#24767 +(41)- [X]
<confuted> some israeli guy just started here
<confuted> whats the url to that suicide bomber flash game?
#24770 +(202)- [X]
<SVJ-FuNiOnZ> you havent seen shit till you've seen jesus throw gang signs..
#24772 +(128)- [X]
<Daniel> maxi wants to unf her :D
<Haggis> saying maxi wants to unf her isnt a big deal :)
<Daniel> yer, but the fact that they live like 4 km from each other sweetens the deal :D
<Haggis> pie...with maxi, if the chick was _ALIVE_ it would sweeten the deal
#24775 +(2)- [X]
<magellanic> got a prob: I keep getting this error message when I try to use iptables , iptables v1.2.6a: can't initialize iptables table `filter': Permission denied (you must be root) Perhaps iptables or your kernel needs to be upgraded. i type this command iptables -F; iptables -t nat -F; iptables -t mangle -F as root
<RichiH> magellanic: your eyes are all wrong
<RichiH> you can't read
<magellanic> RichiH: what you mean?
#24780 +(433)- [X]
<Richie> What fanbois don't realise is that when they speak japanese they sound like the 12 year old girl they learnt it from
#24781 +(-55)- [X]
[atrkid] could somebody help me setup a forum ? a friend of ours died yesterday, we'd like to make a little site for his friends
[+CoLt-] atrkid .. no
[+CoLt-] atrkid .. RTFM
#24782 +(179)- [X]
<friar> that's a horrific thought
<friar> the white, pale flesh of your manboobs glistening with Bliw soap suds
<friar> brb wank
#24784 +(101)- [X]
<geekster> :O world stumbling day
* geekster needs black van and Mr T to drive it
<geekster> "i pitty the foo who doesn't use encryption on there WLAN"
#24787 +(272)- [X]
* hotwetlilgurl13 is now known as MrPinky
<Strawberry-Holocaust> .... damn dude I was gonna pm u for a second there
#24790 +(193)- [X]
<mike> you should add something to the "add quote" page
<mike> something like "remember, your quote may or may not be approved because THE QUOTE DATABASE IS MODERATED BY HUMANS."
<mike> i was serious
<Guilty> You should see how many people email me asking why I didnt approve their awful quotes
<Guilty> Like "HEY I submitted a 14 page long chat log and I dont see it added yet!"
<Guilty> Or "Whats the deal I submitted myself mentioning that I wanted to be in the QDB, and its not on there!"
#24822 +(33)- [X]
(@Alpha|grumble): got home to find my flatmate and a big black man doing a 69
#24888 +(68)- [X]
<zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
#24889 +(1298)- [X]
<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!").