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#23401 +(215)- [X]

<TTT> you know you're in trouble when your server load is higher than your stock price

#23405 +(400)- [X]

(+profiled) you don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact some times, it's not right to do!
(@krampan) i always take it easy, soft, am a gentle guy, but in end before u cum in her, u hav to b lil hard...u c profiled?
(+profiled) krampan; dude i'm singing a song

#23409 +(166)- [X]

* RuneCaster gives UFG the primary Scottish attack "Plaid Kilt Waving In The Breeze Flash"

#23411 +(36)- [X]

< MaNcO > Sometimes late at night.....
< MaNcO > I lay awake and watch munk sleeping
< MaNcO > hes lost in peaceful dreams
< MaNcO > so i turn off the light
< MaNcO > lay there in the dark
< MaNcO > then a thought crosses my mind
< MaNcO > if I never wake
< MaNcO > in the morning
< MaNcO > would he ever doubt
< MaNcO > the way I feel about him in my heart
< MaNcO > if tomorrow never cums
< MaNcO > will he know how much i looooooove him
< MaNcO > and i try in every way
< MaNcO > to show him every day
< MaNcO > he's my only one
< MaNcO > and if my time on earth was through
< MaNcO > he must face this world without me
< munk-@> wtf
< MaNcO > would the love i gave him in the past
< MaNcO > be enuogh to last
< MaNcO > if tomorrow never comes
< MaNcO > cos ive lost loved mons in my life
< munk-@> get a grip of yourself u filthy faggot
< munk-@> oh wait u already do "have a grip of yourself"

#23418 +(261)- [X]

<Valsholk Angelus> There are some things that a woman shouldn't say to me.
<DaRiachu> Like what?
<Valsholk Angelus> "Hold on, I have to mount my outdoor thermometer."
<DaRiachu> ::snicker::
<Valsholk Angelus> All I could think to say was, "Mercury Rising." (g)

#23421 +(121)- [X]

<LuminousPath> somebody after with the main envi'-boy it has the recovery;) 
<LuminousPath> I have succeeded in confusing them all.
<LuminousPath> Now, in the confusion, I shall cause an overload in the main mIRC hub.
<LuminousPath> This will cause horendous bottlenecks, netsplits and profile colapses
<LuminousPath> In the confusion, I shall route all transmissions through Area 51.
<LuminousPath> This will overload their main servers, causing them to have a netsplit
<LuminousPath> I shall repeat this process thosands of times over...
<YusukeUrameshi> LuminousPath: you do not know much of IRC do you?

#23423 +(326)- [X]

<jonathan> "By spending money on counterfeit software, which is often
           manufactured by organized criminals, customers also are
           inadvertently stifling the growth potential of the economy and
             contributing to the loss of tax revenue and employment.
<dante> HAHA
<jonathan> did you get your copy of win2k from the mafia?
<jonathan> I know I did!

#23427 +(797)- [X]

(Amanda`) I think random orgasms would get old after a while

#23428 +(908)- [X]

<Demonhunter> so.. i may be losing my cable modem soon.. who knows
<Idle_Timmy> man, that sucks.
<Idle_Timmy> maybe you need a mike's hard lemonade.
<Demonhunter> i need a liter of jaggermeister
<Demonhunter> and alzadie
<Idle_Timmy> tell me a hooker couldn't help.
<Demonhunter> depends on the hooker
<Idle Timmy> a hooker with dsl in her hotel room
<Demonhunter> ohh...
<Demonhunter> now i could use that
<Demonhunter> i would be downloading so much porn with her dsl connection...
<Idle_Timmy> "What kind of 'bandwidth' do you get, if you know what i mean"
<Demonhunter> hehe
<Idle_Timmy> "Depends on your 'hardware', sugar" ;o
<Idle_Timmy> "So where can i 'plug it in'?"
<Idle_Timmy> "oooohh, you bring the 'modem', big boy, and i'll give you an 'outlet'"
<Idle_Timmy> "oh yeah, baby, I got your modem RIGHT HERE"
<Idle_Timmy> *pulls a laptop out of his trenchcoat*
<Demonhunter> lmao...
<Idle_Timmy> "now let's see if my 'router' is compatible with your 'hub' and we can get some 'peer to peer' action going"

#23445 +(178)- [X]

<DSCS_SoCalKicks> click the live365 link
<DSCS_SoCalKicks> ont he bottom it says also try and gives links to more stations
<Niq> I'm not into "clicking links".  It's a gateway drug.

#23447 +(287)- [X]

<phoenix-> rjx: im sure #mensa can survive without another intellogant person

#23452 +(612)- [X]

<chao> he and his wife were going to open a ranch for disabled children
<donna> can they graze there?

#23453 +(169)- [X]

<cia> sometimes being a man is having to say you like michael jackson songs.

#23455 +(199)- [X]

<KooLLaiD> I'm not FAT!!! I'm pleasently Plump :o)
<Piston> and i'm not white i'm just not really tan.

#23459 +(94)- [X]

<sg> um did you guys look at my collage :( :(
<Slappie> I couldn't
<Slappie> the filter here at the office said it was "Tasteless"
<sg> it's huddie ledbetter
<sg> that's not tasteless.
<-- sg has quit (QUIT: )
<Slappie> I was being serious
<evad> haha

#23463 +(227)- [X]

<@dos622> apparntly back in the 70s they called cock tube steak
<AppleRuly> ahh
<@dos622> but in the 50s tube steak was hot dog
<@dos622> as in the food
<AppleRuly> my grandma was rofl
<@dos622> what?
<AppleRuly> i told her the tube steak thing and she goes "you're dirty"
<AppleRuly> i just said do you like tube steak
<AppleRuly> and she goes "you're dirty"
<@dos622> lol

#23467 +(274)- [X]

<@mazrimt> the guy seemed kinda decent
<@mazrimt> compared to the normal people who ask for warez ;)
<@mazrimt> irc has lowered my standards of 'decent' quite a bit

#23470 +(102)- [X]

<D1> we used to have "Secret Massages" in english class
<kisama> where you'd rub the guy's dick
<kisama> under the desks
<D1> extacly!

#23472 +(55)- [X]

<D1> theres no reason for me to smell good anymore.
<D1> so I tend to stick with the rancid odor since I don't have to impress anyone.

#23508 +(754)- [X]

<Hiryuu> Hurro
<Hiryuu> Very quiet in here....
<ori[Disko_inferno]> yep
<ori[Disko_inferno]> something happend, we suspect social lifes
<Hiryuu> *gasp!*
<ori[Disko_inferno]> yes, deadly, near terminal, cases of human interaction
<Hiryuu> OH MY GOD
<ori[Disko_inferno]> we should stop this before we look like morons, or somebody decides to quote us.. or both

#23523 +(221)- [X]

<Rjx> someone just posted an ASCII version of goatse in another channel
<c-rOCK> well c/p it
<c-rOCK> lets see it

#23536 +(186)- [X]

<Warped> anyone know a _good_weap for a monk? the kama doesn't seem that good...
<Spiffeh> fists
<Spiffeh> gah now monks remind me of lesbians

#23542 +(121)- [X]

<v33n> ok skep is gone mad, he is stabbing him self now
*** v33n sets mode: +b *!*@d226-65-122.home.cgocable.net
*** v33n was kicked by v33n (i'll unban you when you sleep)

#23543 +(48)- [X]

r ever end in e: i am 1.8MB away from downloading all IE components
e l i t e m r p: where you getting em from?
e l i t e m r p: i wanna download em in 5 mins just to laugh
e l i t e m r p: then maybe ill delete it and redownload it again, and laugh some more

#23563 +(626)- [X]

<@freshmint> How do you get a goth out of a tree?
<@freshmint> Cut the rope.

#23576 +(383)- [X]

<@Toilet> you suck
<Bundy> you swallow
<@Toilet> hell, you gargle

#23589 +(116)- [X]

*** [zc]cha0s sets mode: +o FA|Q3-Rain
<FA|Q3-Rain> woah
<FA|Q3-Rain> i am sexier than I thought
* FA|Q3-Rain dances
<[zc]cha0s> no I felt sorry for you

#23590 +(897)- [X]

<Mal> there were so many people using POP3 at DefCon... it was obscene
<Mal> who the hell sends out a text password over a network surrounded by FIVE THOUSAND hackers!?

#23596 +(92)- [X]

<OutBreak^Monkey> just use my excuse, men built dishwashers so they didnt have to do the dishes.
<OutBreak^Monkey> women should learn from mens wisdom
<OutBreak^Monkey> buy the man a fucking dishwasher or do em yourself
<JT> heh
<^yob> hehe
<`2L_CodeMonkey> no, men built dishwasers cause the divorce rate increased and there wasn't wives to do the dishes for everyone

#23601 +(17311)- [X]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

#23609 +(167)- [X]

(Marxs2): How much do you really know me darn? Did you know i was a overweight 65 year old man that spends all his extra money from his 6.25 an hour job on porn and star wars figures? did you know that?

#23617 +(37)- [X]

Benjyman: man everyone knows there's a black superman though, whatsisface....steel
Benjyman: by day hes mild mannered shaquille oneal

#23678 +(541)- [X]

<c-rOCK> when I was 15 I was fat and a loner.
<KuRoKoSoN> are you 16 yet?

#23760 +(48)- [X]

<afro> yeh he flies in from sweden every weekend
<SectorX4> Deos he bring you anything illegal?
<toe> aids

#23822 +(423)- [X]

<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details of raping an Internet window.

#23833 +(266)- [X]

<MrSaturn> oh yeah, and I've run a shopping cart into John Romero
<MrSaturn> on accident, of course ... but when I saw who it was, I almost did it again
<MrSaturn> my first thought was "damn slow hippie woman"
<MrSaturn> then he turns around.
<Trikky_Dikk> After he turned around, I still would have thought, "Damn slow hippie woman."

#23843 +(313)- [X]

<Weng> If one were to download every piece of porn on the internet, paysites and all, and remove the duplicates, how many 120 gig hard drives would he have to span?
<Cray0la> hmm
<NaiWiste> a lot
<Weng> including gay, kiddie, fetish and assorted other disgusting variations
<NaiWiste> i'de say. at least 200gb for kiddie pr0n
<Weng> only 200?
<Snickerdo> Wang: Maxtor and WD would get into a bidding war over you, that's how much.
<Weng> Cool. Time to put this 56k pipe to work

#23852 +(183)- [X]

(XBL-im): i have adelphia/time warner wires running side by side
(XBL-im): into my room
(XBL-im): appartently my adelphia one is creating a magnetic field that send the transmition into the air
(XBL-im): high enough that planes can pick it up
(XBL-im): *i live near a huge international airport*
(XBL-im): anyways, the FCC was looking for the problem
(XBL-im): and they found me
(XBL-im): they gave me this 30 min bullshit lecture on how it works
(XBL-im): and then they offered me an alternative to cable
(XBL-im): lol

#23879 +(465)- [X]

<X2> [AlekaiTalon] Uh-oh, watch out ladies, Alekai Talon is in the house
<Tyr> yea ladies, watch out
<Tyr> he might steal ur men :p

#23886 +(554)- [X]

slurpee: it's just wrong to be watching some random pr0nclip and it starts out with some hot, hot chick with a hot, hot bod...  then they start speaking german and you're thinking "wait a minute here" and then she lies down and some guy squats over her and WOAH COMMAND-W

#23888 +(731)- [X]

<doug-> moral dilemma: i just found a pak of 18 chicken legs in the deep freezer, however the label says 'best if used by 06-12-01'.... do i cook it up for the kidz and avoid having to spend money on take out?  i'm not all that hungry myself anyway =]
<Prozzy> I say go for it. If they die, at least you know.
<doug-> hmm, never actually thought about *death*, just figured on projectile diarrhea, etc... now insurance policies come into play... this could be a win-win-win-lose-win situation i have here

#23905 +(598)- [X]

<Rivorus> i feel stupid cuz i can never open the godam condoms
<Rivorus> and then when i get it on i feel even more dumb cuz I'm the only one in the room

#23911 +(253)- [X]

<Guilty> I was in this half-sleep exhausted haze
<Guilty> I was talking to Jesus
<Guilty> In my delusions
<c-rOCK> the guy who mows your lawn?

#23917 +(170)- [X]

<Aus> see, when too many people do something
<Aus> it's just lame
<TK-Work> It could have just been lame to begin with.
<Aus> TK-Work: nah, everything is cool at least once.
<xpander|out> Aus: does that mean child molestation was good the first time?

#23965 +(12)- [X]

[Mew|WC3] linux is unix
[@SiZZuRp] windows is mac
[Mew|WC3] it Is unix
[Mew|WC3] based on the Unix shell
[Mew|WC3] fucking newbie.

#23984 +(286)- [X]

<crazney_> who the fuck spells cheque check
<ambr> err
<ambr> checks ??
<Zensunni> crazney: the americans do...
<ambr> thats the stupidest thing i've seen this hour
<ambr> and i've been reading bash.org

#23996 +(795)- [X]

<drain333> i lose interest after daisy left
<drain333> that was a long time ago
<PunkerGuy> since i've begun weed, i've begun to lose inter.... oo, a cookie
*** SexyCookie has joined #goth
<PunkerGuy> ooo, a cookie

#24001 +(380)- [X]

<bubbleboo> i think 0's and 1's in binary should be replaced with 6's and 9's
<bubbleboo> would be much more entertaining

#24059 +(301)- [X]

<phoenix`> Painting your hand yellow does not mean you have an asian girlfriend.....

#24066 +(25)- [X]

<phat-ta-tat-tat> dis room is borin'
<phat-ta-tat-tat> get sum hoes in here
<hwKP> But i quit being a pimp
<phat-ta-tat-tat> fuk it get bak in da game
<phat-ta-tat-tat> da game needs u
<hwKP> but I threw out my platform shoes with the fish inside
<phat-ta-tat-tat> fuk it u betta go fishin den


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