#22993 +(747)- [X]
* Vod recites the Mr T prayer
<Vod> Oh Baracus, who was in 'Nam, Mr. T be thy name. Thy van will come with Face and Hannibal, on Earth as it is on TV-Land.
<Vod> Give us this day, our daily milk, and pity us fools, as we pity the fools who cross us.
<Vod> Lead us not into airplanes, and deliver us from Murdock. For thine is the Mohawk and the Van, and the Gold Chains, forever, or at least until the mid-80's. Amen.
#22994 +(671)- [X]
<Keoni> Thank you for using Wordzone's Express Translation service. The text you have just submitted can be translated for the following price. Accepting this price by clicking on the "ORDER" button will allow us to begin translating your document immediately.
<Keoni> Translation Price: $ 10.00
<Keoni> WHO THE FUCK WILL PAY 10 BUCKS FOR 1 WORD???
<Ragnarok> someone who really needs the word
<Keoni> what word is that?
<Ragnarok> i was on the phone with the database tech support a couple days ago
<Ragnarok> nights actually
<Ragnarok> and since it was the middle of the night
<Ragnarok> we get some guy in france
<Ragnarok> and his english was incredibly shitty
<Ragnarok> i'da paid $10 to know how to say assmarauder in french
#22999 +(905)- [X]
<TlMMAH> u kissed a girl?
<Notoes> EXTERNAL 60GIG HD
#23003 +(-14)- [X]
[ Orochi]: Network Interfaces[#1 (Realtek RTL8029(AS) Ethernet Adapt (10Mb/s) 2029.16MB In, 65.49MB Out) #2(3Com EtherLink PCI (100Mb/s) 2541.76MB In, 942.64MB Out)]
[ anim0sity]: hell
[ sTek]: [NetWork] #1 (NETGEAR FA310TX Fast Ethernet PCI Adapter (10Mb/s) 213.70MB In, 55.17MB Out) #2(ELNK3 Ethernet Adapter (10Mb/s) 0.00MB In, 0.00MB Out)
[ anim0sity]: dialup[globe via Generic 56K HCF Data Fax Modem @ 50Kb/s for 6h 34m 44s (4.73MB up, 124.54MB down)]
#23007 +(227)- [X]
<T-Girth> that girl kept me up all night long <G>
<T-Girth> of course it was just cuz she wouldn't shut her trap while i was tryin to sleep
#23011 +(246)- [X]
<haole-writing> did you ever read my story, vampress?
<Vampress> I'm sorry I didn't get a chance yet
<Vampress> it's sitting on my nightstand
<Vampress> staring at me everyday
<Ragnarok> haole must have put a lot of himself in that story
#23014 +(283)- [X]
<Shana> such memories
<Jake> I had some decent memories with Stacy's mom
<Axel> jake unless you had a nice time with a 50 year old you're a sicko
<Jake> She wasn't 50 at the time
<Jake> Hello, son
#23020 +(145)- [X]
<jbou> I live in the liberal state of MA, and we can drinkalcohol, and penetrate naked women at the same time
<YCDK> Drink alcohol, penetrate naked women... #insert "kennedy_joke.h"
#23026 +(594)- [X]
<Sugizo> "Bother" said Pooh. "j00s 4ll my bi4tch3s"
#23029 +(538)- [X]
<MAZgyrl> skootlez, take me off ur ignore list. i need 2 talk 2 u
<jared> that's not going to work MAZgyrl...
<jared> cause if you were on his ignore list he couldn't see you, you are stupid
<MAZgyrl> shut up
<jared> MAZgyrl: send me your pic, you sound easy
#23036 +(149)- [X]
<GreenEyes> gawd i hate it when i'm mid sneeze and it just disappears!
<GreenEyes> it's like almost cumming heheh
<DJUrsus> Does GE have blue sinuses?
#23044 +(25)- [X]
<z0rk> why do you want this indian so much?
<acid> i want him as a wallpaper, reminds me of something my gf did tonight
#23051 +(126)- [X]
<Harlequin> i got fkn fired from westnet coz i cheated in cs
#23055 +(425)- [X]
<JakeStone> *shift change!*
<geo--> that's a very pretty shift, jake.
<geo--> don't think I've seen you wear that one before.
<JakeStone> thank you geo. I got it at Macy's.
<geo--> the pearls complement it well.
<JakeStone> I'm thinking though, that the tiara is a bit much though.
<geo--> well, only because you're wearing it as a codpiece.
#23056 +(191)- [X]
<Cricket> talk about bush then.
<Cricket> the kind you eat, not the kind you vote for.
<pesti> ew, no
<pesti> no political,stuff,
<pesti> like, mowing the lawn?
<dUb> I like the george michael clip
<Cricket> yeah, like mowing the lawn.
<pesti> trimming the hedge
<dUb> chocking the snake
<pesti> pounding the beaver
<dUb> spanking the monkey
<pesti> dub, you still have a lot to learn if you think that is having sex with a girl
#23061 +(131)- [X]
·nsanity· !kick Buster128 BAHHAHAa
•Buster128• you need a bot first LOL
#23070 +(191)- [X]
<sab0tage> in yer dreams perhaps
<Nys|Work> i dont dream about you
<Nys|Work> although i once fell off a building
<Nys|Work> into a pile of shit
<Nys|Work> that might have freudian links?
#23089 +(489)- [X]
<FFChatter> I wanna' change my nick!
<Onyx> type /nick (NAME HERE)
<FFChatter> Trying to trick me?....
<FFChatter> I won't fall for it....
#23093 +(289)- [X]
<Clockwork> You know.. The complexity of an N64 controller and sensitivity of that analong stick, not to mention the hidden Z button, is alot like a woman..
<Dekan-> Except for the love and affection and sex. And tits. And vagina. Yeah I'd say it's pretty much the n64 controller...
#23096 +(469)- [X]
<nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a graphic calculator yesterday in math class
#23103 +(439)- [X]
<Quixo> how about we kill their daughter and hang them from a tree instead
<Quixo> upside down
<Quixo> split down the middle
<WildWing> With tobasco sauce?
#23105 +(523)- [X]
*** Switch is now known as Jesus
<Jesus> I am GOD!!
*** Quits: Jesus (email@example.com) (Local kill by Lucifer (Muhahaha) )
#23106 +(146)- [X]
<GaiKaiyzer> Eminem is getting his own movie.,
<Grue> I'm surprised he doesn't have his own breakfast cereal.
<Grue> "White Rapper O's" or something.
#23110 +(349)- [X]
<lawngnome> isnt chelsea clinton like, 10 years old?
<fire_hawk> what?! no! She's going to Stanford next year!
<lawngnome> pretty fucking smart 10 year old.
#23114 +(1371)- [X]
<+crystalis> I'm a techno song
#23116 +(145)- [X]
<antijon> So, what does everyone think of a web server written in Java?
#23117 +(2122)- [X]
*** DADDDDDY has joined #hockey2
<DADDDDDY> PIMPIN' AINT EASY
<FredSmyth> PIMPIN' IS QUITE DIFFICULT
<Eulogy_> PIMPIN HAS PROVED TO BE MORE WORK THAN I FIRST ASSUMED
<Maltby> THE DIFFICULTY IN THE OCCUPATION OF PIMPIN' IS EXPONENTIALLY MORE COMPLEX THAN FIRST BELIEVED
*** DADDDDDY has quit IRC
#23119 +(689)- [X]
<Denyerec> Welcome to Britain, the USA's largest non-nuclear aircraft carrier!
#23124 +(390)- [X]
<Nookadum> Microsoft plans to disclose 385 pieces of computer code and internal operating rules, previously kept secret, that outside developers can use to write programs to run on Windows.
<Nookadum> 385 pieces of code...
<Nookadum> WTF do they mean by 385 pieces of code?
<Fraggy> "take one down, pass it around!"
<Fraggy> "384 pieces of code on the page....."
#23126 +(13)- [X]
<[zc]Kinslayer> yo, this customer is a fucking redneck
<[zc]Kinslayer> I'm going to bomb Jackson, Mississippi
<[zc]Kinslayer> and i dont care if I spelled the state name right or not, no one will care when I wipe it off the planet
<[zc]Kinslayer> thereby removing the shallowest gene pool in the universe
#23131 +(605)- [X]
[13:49] <Saxon-> but I am still two steps up the evolutionary ladder from karma
[13:49] *** Saxon- has quit IRC (Read error 54: Connection reset by peer)
[13:49] <ShadiZar> rofl
[13:49] <`KArmA> THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR FUCKING WITH ME PUNK
[13:49] <`KArmA> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[13:49] <`KArmA> incidentally
[13:49] <Vikki> lol
[13:50] <`KArmA> despite the impressive coincidence
[13:50] <`KArmA> I had nothing to do with that
#23137 +(619)- [X]
<dreamkast0r> This is the abosolute worst joke I've ever found on a string cheese wrapper.
<kingLatency> what is it?
<dreamkast0r> "What happened to the fireproof, unbreakable, shockproof, waterproof watch?"
<dreamkast0r> "It is lost!"
<dreamkast0r> They just aren't trying anymore.
<dreamkast0r> That's not a joke.
<dreamkast0r> It's a sad story.
#23150 +(172)- [X]
(+Normandy) is there an online talking clock anywhere?
(+Kazimierz) he wishes to hear the secksay lady voice tell him the time
(+Normandy) not twue! ;(
(+Normandy) is there one then?
(+Kazimierz) or something
(+Kazimierz) I dunno
(+Normandy) You all suck.
#23153 +(1310)- [X]
<Mr_Day> I think Nick is trying to tell us something. What is it, boy? Is Timmy trapped down a well?
#23159 +(53)- [X]
<LDopa^^^> People are dancing around a burning baby? Where? Where? I hope they are playing some kickin' music....
#23163 +(517)- [X]
<Yoshi> I got free unlimited php asp etc hosting with no banners or ads whatsoever!!!!
<Yoshi> And a free domain name for life!
<Yoshi> Now if I could only speak Norwegian and figure out how to login
#23166 +(220)- [X]
<m477[Lain]> Customer: "I don't have a cdrom drive, and the CD is too big to fit in the floppy drive. And the software store won't take it back. So you have to help me install this, because it's all your fault. If you had sold me the version of Windows I wanted, I wouldn't have had to buy Windows 95."
#23170 +(971)- [X]
<SSJ3_Goku> you fucking nerds should really get a fucking life god like really go and get laid cuz you nerds really need it to let you know what reality is!!!!
<Hsu> this coming from a guy calling himself ssj3_goku
<Chimpbot> point, match, set
#23175 +(724)- [X]
<Ryutaro> I liked it when things were simple
<Ryutaro> gravity wasnt known
<Ryutaro> things stuck to the earth because they loved it
#23179 +(124)- [X]
<Monkey-wrench> when i first came to irc i tried to change my nick to @Monkey_wrench
#23181 +(273)- [X]
<Yoshi> I watch way too much leave it to beaver.
<Yoshi> I'm just going to stop resisting and start calling my dad pops and saying gee wizz alot.
<hampsterdance> g wizz alot?
<hampsterdance> isn't that a rapper?
#23182 +(10)- [X]
<[peepee]> Can I see your $me
#23190 +(525)- [X]
<|fS|Solaris> oh man...i gotta get some viagra darts
<|fS|Solaris> going around shooting people with viagra
<|fS|Solaris> don't like a teacher?
<|fS|Solaris> see how everyone else likes him when he's got wood
<|fS|Solaris> is there a woman that you think is a man?
<|fS|Solaris> you can find out!
#23195 +(267)- [X]
<PabloEsteHome> What do you want for christmas that is under 40??
<|fS|Jot> Solaris's mom
#23204 +(239)- [X]
*** Legalize- (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #baseball
<Lumpy> what do you want to legalize?
<Legalize-> child labor and wastewater dumping
<Lumpy> thats cool
#23209 +(349)- [X]
<Rockman> anyone can be an idiot, but it takes a special kind of stupid to match kornbix
<kornbix> proove it
#23223 +(232)- [X]
<+Fantasma> makes me feel all special and gooey inside
<+Fantasma> like a little catholic shoolgirl having her first orgasm in the rafters of the church during communion
#23224 +(149)- [X]
[Shinji] hate that you know.... pants off, hand cream on the desk, then the fucking thing announces "22 minutes remaining" :/
#23225 +(367)- [X]
[logic1] hmm even though it does state "freakcock" in the url i think this might be a cute picture of a little kitty.. let me take a look
#23228 +(138)- [X]
<pinepusher> Anyone know a good place where someone with no credit can get a loan???
<xENo> yeah, but the rates are high
<xENo> and if you miss a payment, they repo your life
<pinepusher> what are the rates like?
<pinepusher> any idea?