#22778 +(190)- [X]
<Rodent> I wish I was still living at my parents... Responsibility and freedom is overrated.
<Rodent> Not having to go shopping for food is god.
<Rodent> Not having to work is Jesus.
<alisdair> not being able to bring girls home is divine
#22782 +(472)- [X]
<Ak0> fuckin hell
<Ak0> am i the only person who has these probs with ofp
<GUZZA> the short answer whould be 'yes'
<GUZZA> the long answer would be 'yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss'
#22792 +(216)- [X]
<drunkers> sugas in jail now
<RtWhO> whats your source?
<RtWhO> I thought he was on his honey mooon
<drunkers> same thing
#22793 +(1799)- [X]
<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> wait... no
#22796 +(744)- [X]
<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with cyber strangers, thats for sure
#22797 +(392)- [X]
<Danny> i never had problems with any italian folks
<Dr SpaZZo> I've had a problem with them grabbing me by the neck and offering me a vanilla coke
#22799 +(808)- [X]
<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy. My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest
#22803 +(371)- [X]
<+[zc]Kinslayer> I tried to have this customer read off his modem's brand name and he said he can't read...stupid Memphis customers.
<+[zc]Kinslayer> so I was wondering wtf he's going to do with the Internet, but then I remembered you don't have to read pr0n
<+[zc]Kinslayer> as long as you can type "neked chiqs" you're all set
#22806 +(101)- [X]
<Scofco> being a global operator is annoying, you see everyone that comes and goes from the server
<phaded> the things some people complain about...
#22810 +(121)- [X]
*** kolby was kicked by Scofco (Get off IRC and go fall in love, you damn pussy)
#22814 +(495)- [X]
<Staunchy> wet suits are cool..... i lost 3 pints of fluid today
<Sureshot^> they're class for cold sea
<Sureshot^> and avoiding jellyfish stings
<Staunchy> no I mean girls in wetsuits
#22818 +(942)- [X]
<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
#22822 +(-388)- [X]
<FreshBrew> niggers are good, but you cant leave fried chicken lying around, or watermelon. they'll snap it up like a fucking.... nigger or something.
#22827 +(317)- [X]
*** Joins: bowswer (~myob@ZiRC-52337.ny5030.east.verizon.net)
[20:38] * Freshbrew jumps over bowswers head, and pulls the key on the other side of the bridge and laughes manically as he watches bowswer fall into the 8-bit lava
#22829 +(260)- [X]
<CaptainCasual> thats just goatse enough to work
<NickBlasta> Fruedian slip?
#22849 +(195)- [X]
<Stormcaller> oh! i found a caltrop in my living room today
#22853 +(459)- [X]
([aE]ZERO) //timerc 0 0 /color background $rand(0,15)
([aE]ZERO) that is ownage
(Headache) no1, i mean NO1 is stupid enuf to do that
<@[MORAT]HellCat> hmm how can i turn it off??? pls :)
#22855 +(200)- [X]
<@Vitenka> ani, for one - you're not a country
<@Vitenka> for another, if you were, I'd bomb you
#22856 +(297)- [X]
(Gr0wleh) I just hit myself
(Gr0wleh) in the balls
(Gr0wleh) brb while I wince in pain
(Gr0wleh) this... hurts
(Gr0wleh) had my hands on top of my head
(Gr0wleh) and they slipped off
#22858 +(164)- [X]
<@shp> you think when we are older we will all sit in irc and say stuff like "remember when we were young and drinks were cheap and priests could molest young boys?"
#22859 +(410)- [X]
<@Iceman> OW i just stabbed myself in the eye with a mechanical pencil
<@Iceman> was trying to get it to stick in my ceiling, it fell in my eye
#22867 +(1297)- [X]
(Headache) oh <censored>, the power just went off
(Headache) wait a minute
(Headache) y does this seem wrong
#22869 +(374)- [X]
<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then
#22873 +(443)- [X]
<fireserve> !is the cumulitve mutiplication thing
<Benoit> ! is lots of things
<fireserve> like 6! = 6x5x4x3x2x1
<Wolfman_Dain> ! is the programming term for "not"
<Benoit> ! at the end of a sentence can also mean exclamation... or so I've been told
<fireserve> and if you flip it upside down and put one at the front, its spanish
<Benoit> !, is there anything it cant do?
#22876 +(330)- [X]
<fireserve> now, if you were to say "you stupid elephant cock sucker" in a font like apple chancery, it would be rude yet classy
#22883 +(114)- [X]
<p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
<BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider it
<BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes
#22887 +(259)- [X]
<RageATM> been sitting here for so long when i walked into the other room i could still see my mirc screen
#22895 +(436)- [X]
<@yay> he doesn't have a low self esteem
<@yay> he thinks he's awesome
<@yay> he's just depressed as hell because no one believes him
#22897 +(192)- [X]
<es0> how you use TCp with an abacus?
<%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack?
<@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :)
<%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs out there
<%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier pigeons"
<@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one
#22899 +(569)- [X]
<@freak> i now have a 'HEERZ WUT IM LISTANEN 2' plugin so i can piss everyone off
* @freak listens to PUDDLE OF MUDD - BLURRY
<@freak> not even a kick? :(
<@freak> i'll do it
*** freak was kicked by freak (NO FAGS IN #WTF ASSHOLE)
#22900 +(319)- [X]
* ILoveJackDaniels is gonna set up a "Ken's Typos" quote site
<kensplace> msssake me anon but ken still
<ILoveJackDaniels> Ken: Lay off the crack. Seriously ;)
* kensplace promises not to slay antyother word
#22902 +(207)- [X]
<@PhiL> jesus fucking christ, hitting tyrant with the knife is like poking a small baby in the stomach
<@PhiL> the motherfucker giggles in your face, then claws it off
#22904 +(461)- [X]
<@Social> mathcore is DEP
<@Social> and mr gayngle
<@Phil> "AHHHHHH ONE PLUS TWO EQUALS THREE I HATE YOUR MOM AHHHHHHHH ::fast guitars::"
<@Phil> i thought it was hardcore with mathematical lyrics
<@Social> oh man
<@Social> that made me laugh
<@Social> that would be great
<@Phil> i was being serious
<@Phil> i would be a pioneer of that genre
<@Social> "AH 2 TIMES FUCKING 3 EQUALS 6 DIVIDED BY THE SQUARE ROOT OF YOUR MOTHER'S LOVE!!!!! FUCK!!!!"
#22905 +(455)- [X]
<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!
#22906 +(517)- [X]
harm|work: there was a fucking insect on my monitor
harm|work: and i saw it and i was like fuck im gonna squelch it
harm|work: and i pointed
harm|work: and double clicked
harm|work: i mustve missed cause it flew away :(
#22910 +(28)- [X]
<Ancalag0n> yes i just used residents as a verb
<dragonbyt> i hate fskcing dialup
<Ancalag0n> dialups gay
<Akki> how about "resides on"
<Ancalag0n> u should get aol
<mikephoen> what the hell, did they install irc at the retard house :/
#22915 +(337)- [X]
<IngyThing> ill probably pop in sometimes about 2300
<ILoveJackDaniels> we'll still be here, and ken still won't be able to type :)
<kensplace> hic i reswomble that remark
<kensplace> look like
#22922 +(929)- [X]
<r-j> ebay bought paypal for 1.5 billion dollars
<smozoma> i wonder if paypal used ebay to sell themselves to ebay?
<smozoma> and did ebay pay by paypal?
#22925 +(370)- [X]
<nilumtil> HOPE U GOT 2 IPS
<BilliamForty> i have twenty anyone want one?
<cln> BilliamForty, YES
<cln> i have no idea what i'd do with it though.
<BilliamForty> ok you can have 250.912.666.56454.258.4145.541
<BilliamForty> and if anyone says thats not an ip they can meet me out back
<cln> that isn't an ip.
<BilliamForty> meet me out back
<cln> will do
*** cln invites you to join #out.back
#22939 +(2529)- [X]
<NyseriA> i just hit my hand with a hammer
<NyseriA> and the first thing i said was "SPLENDID"
<NyseriA> which made me laugh
<NyseriA> then i dropped the hammer on my foot because i was laughing at me saying splendid instead of FUCK
#22942 +(349)- [X]
<NyseriA> at uni we asked this lad why the carpet was a different colour under this computer desk, he said that he had spilled an eggcup of bleach :D What made it worse though was that there was a lass sat on his beanbag on teh floor and she said, did you spill it upwards onto the keyboard shelf bottom as well :P
#22943 +(1527)- [X]
<NyseriA> Things I've learned about war from videogames: If you find yourself mortally wounded by an enemy sniper be sure to let him know that he is a faggot.
#22947 +(181)- [X]
<shitshe> it would be so convenient if cyber sex was real
#22950 +(0)- [X]
Kydaimon: so have you found out which chess piece you are yet?
Kydaimon: if not i suggest you get on that...I'm hedging my bets you're a queen
Jaron95DX: fuck no
Jaron95DX: I hate you
Kydaimon: only because you know that's the funniest thing you've read today motherfucker
#22952 +(604)- [X]
<weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it and blue when you right click it
<weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
<sponge> thats sad
<weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write and debug
#22954 +(1582)- [X]
<Elly_May> my little sister just asked me why my hair was tangled
<Elly_May> i told her it was because my boyfriend came all over it when i was giving him a blow job
<Elly_May> at which point my father admitted he could hear me....
#22955 +(1799)- [X]
<Elly_May> i'm so sick of fucking my father
<Shitshe> you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father
<Elly_May> whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of shit
#22976 +(131)- [X]
<rei> only you can prevent forests! :)
#22978 +(299)- [X]
<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.
#22985 +(142)- [X]
<saunafrend> damn it, walmart doesnt advertise their shotguns on their website.