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#22518 +(54)- [X]

<psyk> Axl Rose is an idiot with the voice of a ten-year-old girl choking to death on a brillo pad

#22519 +(372)- [X]

<CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
<CrackZ> its a power hungry female
<CrackZ> ya know the type
<CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't be arsed' profile

#22520 +(853)- [X]

<EssKay> i don't want to have fucking poles in my underwear, man.
<Rjx> that joke went so far over your head it got hijacked and flown into a major landmark

#22532 +(238)- [X]

<NewSonCometh> my sister found 50 bucks today
<NewSonCometh> then the person who dropped it asked her if she found it
<NewSonCometh> with the clenched 50 sticking out of her hand, she said "Nope, I don't have any cash at all"
<NewSonCometh> then the lady just walked away
<NewSonCometh> I wish more people with an abundance of 50's were that stupid

#22533 +(243)- [X]

<Feared> Everyone's against me.
<Feared> It's like my school is here.

#22534 +(568)- [X]

<Sugadon> sup
<Sugadon> i'm in houston
<GaBe-33> houston !?
<GaBe-33> what you doing in texas !?
<Sugadon> honeymoon
<drunkers> you came on mirc on your honeymoon?
<drunkers> the sex that bad?

#22535 +(752)- [X]

<CrdStang> Oh dear
<CrdStang> Oh fuck dear no
<CrdStang> My stupid ass dad just drove the ride-on lawn mower here from his place 3/4 of a mile away

#22540 +(97)- [X]

[ spacefish ] nah, austnet is like.. the s-bend of irc.
[ spacefish ] it catches all teh grime and keeps it in one place.

#22546 +(364)- [X]

<cams> red: yea, well i'll take your land
<cams> then lie to you
<cams> and give you deseases
<reddiwhipper> that was the native americans
<cams> no, actually, im doing my impression of a woman

#22571 +(312)- [X]

<+Normandy> How poor is this.
<+Normandy> that exercise bike I've been lookin forward to start building my leg muscles for the summer finally arrived today
<+Normandy> yet I'm carryin it upstairs and twat it against my knee, and now my uncle who is a doctor says i cant exert any pressure on it for 2 bloody months

#22572 +(655)- [X]

<@Oz> just reading about the human genome project
<@Oz> what a waste of time, if only god had just released the source with the binaries

#22580 +(433)- [X]

(PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"

#22582 +(338)- [X]

<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}

#22596 +(98)- [X]

<cams> dude
<cams> russians rock
<lavhoes> yeah, especially when you pay for them

#22603 +(327)- [X]

slurpee: got p2p?
Arcane: p2p?
Arcane: are you asking me for drugs?

#22604 +(161)- [X]

<Affe> i got a dual head card today
<Arcane> what kind of dualhead card?
<Affe> radeon
<cardian> they make a radeon dual head?
<cardian> which one
<Affe> i dunno
<cardian> you dont know which card you bought?
<cardian> were you high?
<Affe> no
<Affe> it was a trade for services
<cardian> ahh
<Arcane> blowjob?
<Arcane> it musta been shitty head if they gave you a radeon
<cardian> hhaaahha

#22605 +(194)- [X]

<mig|sluice> trillian, like a capitalist social-democracy, will suit me until I see something better to take its place.

#22607 +(327)- [X]

* CookieS rubs SC's boobie
<Kintaro_0e> C.c
<SC> O.O
<CookieS> I'm making a wish
<Kintaro_0e> A deathwish

#22611 +(263)- [X]

<Morelos> i think i want the rtfm shirt
<maxracer> whats rtfm
<Morelos> maxracer - i suggest you rtfm to find out
<maxracer> man rftm?

#22640 +(224)- [X]

<jaff> once my heater caught on fire while I was playing t1 , but I had the flag so I was fucking torn, luckily I was on RW and organised a very quick hand off

#22641 +(222)- [X]

<unknown> once I was wanking while playing doomII and someone snuck up behind me and shot me in the back with his shotgun and I almost tore off my helmet.. Folks I am telling you it's not fucking worth it!!!

#22643 +(114)- [X]

<psil0gik> is loving computers considered a symptom ?
<rewben> no a cure

#22658 +(400)- [X]

<nae> will you guys PLZZ stop that?
<nae> are there any mods around that can ban them plz?
<@Athene> nae: what is the problem?
<nae> correct me if i'm wrong but isn't this channel for d/l?
<@Athene> no, this is a chat channel
<nae> isn't htere any law against spamming?
<nae> slyspy hold 1 out of every two messages in here!
<@slyspy> nothing unusual in that
<@Athene> that is called a conversation
<@Athene> maybe you have had one before
<@Athene> or at least seen them in movies ;)
<nae> then can you plz convirsate in a new chat??? cause it blocks 0.7 of my d/l's speed!

#22663 +(305)- [X]

<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct

#22668 +(777)- [X]

<Taganath> Mary had a little lamb.  It bumped into a pylon.  Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon!

#22671 +(88)- [X]

<FoxyRoxy> i fucking fried my cd player badly i plugged it into this outlet that had tape on it (god knows why) i didnt even see any tape and it set on fire

#22672 +(494)- [X]

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*

#22674 +(89)- [X]

<grifferz> I am afraid we are going to have to jupe the nick blitzed-is-gay since it is too politically incorrect. you may however use many-blitzed-users-are-gay

#22686 +(169)- [X]

<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3 just like you dont want   to wait an hour to upload it so lets cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place

#22687 +(29)- [X]

<ZedR> I've got...
<ZedR> ...
<ZedR> POWERS
<Drevlin> no
<Drevlin> you got sympathy :P

#22688 +(184)- [X]

<rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
<rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
<Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini Diablo into your parking lot?
<Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
<Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into my drive way in a Panoz Roadster.

#22696 +(292)- [X]

<Pandemonium> Those popups could poke someone's eye out.

#22698 +(136)- [X]

<Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read all the articles online...
<Soda_Tab> period.
<spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you to read on the shitter

#22703 +(125)- [X]

* ILoveJackDaniels looks out of the window to laugh at the man wearing a mini-dress dancing in front of a car
<ILoveJackDaniels> Accelerate, damn you!

#22704 +(159)- [X]

(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P

#22707 +(806)- [X]

<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED

#22713 +(247)- [X]

<RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"

#22724 +(136)- [X]

<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their heads?

#22725 +(742)- [X]

<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a webcam and have to be naked

#22727 +(895)- [X]

(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?

#22733 +(338)- [X]

McPhile:  Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality show.
McPhile:  I can just see him up there with Michael and Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching.  "Whoa!  Did you see THAT?  I didn't even know I built them to do that."
ecstaticsurfacer:  Hell yes.  I've been saying for years that my life is God's favourite soap opera.
McPhile :  Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life for it to be His favorite.

#22742 +(273)- [X]

<miriamb>  is there really horse in horseradish

#22745 +(103)- [X]

<@Bikutoru|gone> well, you beat me
<@Bikutoru|gone> i'm out of ammo
<+Edwin> already?
<@Bikutoru|gone> damn right
<+Edwin> jeez no wonder men call you the "minute man" in bed
<@Bikutoru|gone> =|

#22748 +(206)- [X]

<cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as Kano... and I did the fatality on my opponent and I go "ULTRA COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(

#22751 +(190)- [X]

<jimblob> did you know that haggii (thats more than one haggis) have two legs shorter than the other two, this enables them to run around hills very quickly, the down side is  that , depending on which two legs are the shortest, the haggis can only run round the hills in one direction
<miriamb> really Jim? 
<miriamb> gosh
<jimblob> yes miriam

#22754 +(540)- [X]

<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

#22757 +(305)- [X]

<[zc]Kinslayer> omfg
<[zc]Kinslayer> it's days like this i hate my fucking job
<[zc]FuLLcLiP|work|> why whats up
<[zc]Kinslayer> argh this customer cannot find her address bar

#22768 +(54)- [X]

<KKR[b0r3d]> i once had a wet dream and was glued to my bed the following day

#22770 +(249)- [X]

<m477[LainOS]> Phone call: "I can't get online" Sir do you use AOL? "Yes" It's working then

#22774 +(193)- [X]

<Sureshot> some cunt nicked my milk
<NyseriA> i was so fucked off last year with someone nicking my milk i pissed in it
<Sureshot> ROFL
<NyseriA> i nearly fyucking died when i walked into the kitchen in the morning to see the fucker eating it with frostieS :)
<NyseriA> i have also soaked a cheese in rancid milk
<NyseriA> washed it
<NyseriA> and put it back in the fridge
<NyseriA> some fucker ate that as well


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