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#16409 +(414)- [X]

<Never> Okay, I'm not really going to be a novelist, it just sounds a lot better than "autistic retard constantly lost in own fantasy world"

#16417 +(553)- [X]

* nSu`bNr`t has joined #asp
<nSu`bNr`t> is that a channel for active server page ?
<Karyon> no
<Karyon> its the Asp, Snake and Serpent discussion group
<Karyon> We're snaketrainers
<Karyon> you interested in becoming one?
<ZondrZout> Karyon! I just tought my snake a new trick!!
<Karyon> really?
<ZondrZout> Yeah, I tought it how to find an entrance
<Karyon> You dont have a snake, idiath
<ZondrZout> I don't?
<Karyon> no
<Karyon> thas your dick
<ZondrZout> Dick, go search for an entrance on Karyon!

#16428 +(215)- [X]

<WeaselBoy> livejournal is nothing but thousands of people all saying "Does this make my ass look big?" at the same time

#16431 +(544)- [X]

<Danelope> "Nine people in total have had gene therapy at the Necker Hospital, and seven of them are doing well."
<Danelope> The other two transformed into hideous demon-beasts and began slaying the hospital staff.
<Danelope> And eating their brains.

#16438 +(261)- [X]

<^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
<^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
<^bat-sai> when i was 13
<^bat-sai> i was mocked
<^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were there to play baseball on the snes

#16449 +(698)- [X]

*** Big_Daddy changes topic to '(@ALbino) i sucked nwar, but not like i had a choice :)'
(Big_Daddy) that is in fact NOT taken out of context btw :)
(nwar) nor is it edited in anyway
(ALbino) bd always takes my stuff out of context
(ALbino) what he's not telling you is that nwar was bitten by a poisonous snake and in order to save nwar's life i had to suck the poison out. so, in fact, i am not a raging homosexual with dong-swallowing tendancies, but rather, a hero. someone to be looked up to and respected :)
(Big_Daddy) who eats the cock :)
(ALbino) besides the point :)
(ALbino) surely you aren't suggesting that just because a guy likes to gargle a little cock every now and then that he can't be a hero to the masses :)
(Big_Daddy) now you're saying nwar has a little cock?

#16461 +(303)- [X]

<Devan> I got a 75 dollar check today for no reason!
<Devan> What can I buy with 75 dollars?!
<Devan> Guys?
<Vesp> A shitty blowjob or a fantastic handjob

#16464 +(168)- [X]

* C|sur hates being a genius.
<Lindy^> yeah, i'd think your modesty would hamper you.

#16472 +(629)- [X]

<AkumaUsagi> because every scoobie doo episode could have been 1 minute long if only someone would have eventually bought a gun.

#16475 +(1038)- [X]

<Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.

#16480 +(-24)- [X]

<Aatakinty> afk, im supposed to be sleeping, and i hear my mom walkin around

#16481 +(810)- [X]

<Johnny-5> i just measured my dick and i was like 'yay ten inches' then i realised i was looking at centimeters. life can be so hard sometimes.

#16488 +(189)- [X]

<@SpamapS> he was just a complete asshole to me last night... and then was talking shit about it after I left
<@Redb3ard> dude, i didnt see it haappen
<@SpamapS> I was arguing with him that ReiserFS was better for directory lookups, because it used b-trees to store meta data...
<@SpamapS> so he's like .. "Do you even know what a b-tree is?" ... I told him to kiss my ass...
<@SpamapS> He says "I have my algorithms and data structures book here... so tell me what a b-tree is"...
<@Redb3ard> um
<@Redb3ard> you do realize, that this finalizes your geekhood
<@SpamapS> At which point, I told him I didn't need this crap anymore and went to bed...
<@Redb3ard> there is no turning back, its irreversible, ta this late stage

#16489 +(534)- [X]

<zamros> WHEN I WAS LIKE SEVEN I SAW A CAR GET RUN OVER BY A CAR
<zamros> MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT WITNESSING
<zamros> AND/OR MONSTER TRUCK RALLY

#16504 +(422)- [X]

<Clitlover> I am not into that.
<Clitlover> How about roleplay?
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> ok
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> i'll be the dungeon master

#16508 +(179)- [X]

<yesyouam> Never let drugs stand in the way of alcohol

#16509 +(331)- [X]

<yesyouam> marijuana and unix permissions don't mix

#16510 +(169)- [X]

<mb> everytime i've seen Iron Chef they always use sweet fish
<yesyouam> what's sweet fish?
<mb> the meat is supposed to be really sweet
<mb> and the guts are supposed to be bitter
<yesyouam> like ma wimminz

#16511 +(331)- [X]

<noah> no I need a way to come to terms with the fact that I wasted
<noah> my horny years whacking off to porn instead of bagging college
<noah> tail
<dr.adam> might i suggest bourbon

#16512 +(518)- [X]

<KagoniKnight>: You know how sometimes a dog humps your leg?
<Pong-Chan>: .....
<KagoniKnight>: Well, sometimes, why not hump back and show who's boss!!

#16518 +(215)- [X]

<davester> alright, in a month when i'm building this computer, everything will have changed, so i'm not going to bother now
<davester> they'll have gforce9's and p5's and terrabit hdd's
<davester> all for cheap
<Deathblend> and 256bit athlons
<davester> word
<davester> WORD
<Deathblend> you mean dword

#16521 +(240)- [X]

<NoahSoft> wizdom: Where?
<wizdom> UK :p
<NoahSoft> Is that in australia?

#16523 +(29)- [X]

<WoHo> jacob I have the highest grades in english in mah class :[
<WoHo> my only prob is that I facken write in class like I write on irc
<WoHo> my teachers comes up to me and asks
<Nold> rofl
<WoHo> wats ppl ?
<WoHo> wats r ?
<Nold> lol
<WoHo> wats mah ?
<WoHo> dude
<Nold> lolu
<WoHo> its bad :[

#16524 +(886)- [X]

<[0FXTCJ|U> are you excited now?!?!?!
<[0FX|nw> yeah
<[0FXTCJ|U> do you have an erection?!
<[0FX|nw> no
<[0FX|nw> hmm
<[0FX|nw> Ęcant say this in english
<[0FX|nw> i tooked my hand on my cock and drew forwards and backwards
<[0FX|nw> what do u call it?
<[0FXTCJ|U> jacking off?
<[0FX|nw> oh
<[0FX|nw> in sweden we call it runka

#16527 +(1054)- [X]

<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination.

#16529 +(1048)- [X]

<t_h_e_o-> why do u use a period at the end of every sentence?
<dager> ROFL
<dager> BECAUSE
<dager> ITS A FUCKING SENTENCE

#16534 +(169)- [X]

<gh5046> Witness the amazing power of and ice-cold lemon lime soda as I pour it on my crotch and become sexually aroused!

#16536 +(295)- [X]

<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.

#16541 +(338)- [X]

** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears

#16543 +(383)- [X]

<Pest> i was talking to a gurl at school
<Pest> her name was nicole
<Koen> heh :)
<Pest> she was like how are you doing today
<Pest> i went
<Pest> well im alright..but id be better if someone named nicole was slobbing my knob
<Koen> rofl
<Koen> :(
<Pest> she smacked me
<Pest> :/

#16544 +(63)- [X]

<Cole`> I think there might have been a guy at my ptq who crapped his pants. During round 5 I had a bunch of people watching my match and all of a sudden I caught the scent of crap. I yelled out "Who in God's name shit their pants?!" A few people laughed, but I didn't catch the shitter. So round 6 I am playing this guy and he smelled...like shit. I did in fact recall him saying he wanted to go home and take a bath. I felt really horrible for this.

#16545 +(415)- [X]

ywedig: so what do you have planned this weekend?
GnaaaGnaa: I am going to kill your mother, rape your father, cut off his penis and put it in your dead mother's mouth
GnaaaGnaa: then I'm going to see Spiderman

#16555 +(332)- [X]

<@E-vangelist> are asian masturbation jokes shorter?

#16557 +(113)- [X]

<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

#16564 +(2428)- [X]

<billyblacktop> yo yo yo, sup my niggas?
<jimmy2toes>  your not black
<billyblacktop>  how do you know that?
<jimmy2toes>  I hacked your webcam, and now I can see you
<billyblacktop>  yeah right you cant do that
<jimmy2toes> I can and I did.
<billyblacktop>  ok then what color hair do I have
<jimmy2toes> Hmmm, let me zoom in a bit. Blonde, and you are white, about 6' 2", your room has an emenim poster and your bedspread is yellow and blue.
<billyblacktop>  holy fuck man im telling the cops
Quits: {billyblacktop} (billyb@235.253.473.232) (Quit:)
<jimmy2toes>  LMAO, that was a friend of mine, I just set up his comp today, and showed him mirc, he doesnt know my nick, what a fat tool!!!
<nellcarterlookalike>  A fat tool indeed.

#16566 +(440)- [X]

<jenn> BUKKAKE!
<DogBoy> ouch
<Asmodean> bukkake? isn't that the japanese rope tying fetish?
<DogBoy> no
<prefect> you're so young and innocent, asmodean
<DogBoy> lol
<Asmodean> young.. maybe.. innocent.. no :)
<DogBoy> hmm
<DogBoy> I can't even spell that
<DogBoy> I'm gonna ask my mom what it means
<Asmodean> bukkake?
<Asmodean> oh my
<Asmodean> hitting "i am feeling lucky" in google for bukkake was umm.. *sooo* not work friendly

#16568 +(36)- [X]

<clubransom> I want my isp to block this 900 number stuff.

#16572 +(161)- [X]

<[RCS]MrBojangles-nub> well if i wanted an 8" black penis in my ass id commit a felony

#16574 +(221)- [X]

<McManus-wrk> how 'bout a pr0n site?  you'd get tons of hits  :)
<manual_overide> McManus-wrk: LOL
<McManus-wrk> :D
<KT> when the page loads up the page should say "kiddie pr0n is uncool! you should be ashamed of yourself! your IP has been logged and sent to the nearest law enforcement agency"
<McManus-wrk> and then CLICK HERE for kiddie pr0n...

#16575 +(491)- [X]

<oreth> ever thing to yourself "Hey, it might be fun to go fuck a turkey?"
<AshPlississkin> no
<oreth> yeah.   me neither.

#16579 +(47)- [X]

<kel> she's not great looking
<kel> has looked better
<kel> but has a funny nose
<kel> thin and wear tight clothes
<kel> hrm
<kel> I'm talking about 17 year old girl
<kel> I'm gonna stop

#16586 +(419)- [X]

<shagman> and here I go rollerblading in black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt
<shagman> it must be 40 out
<SourKey> your nuts
<shagman> yeah, they're hot too

#16587 +(182)- [X]

<I am Budwin>I found the meaning of life. . . And I can download it too!!!
<Revica4000>. . . . . . .

#16588 +(393)- [X]

<tipz> just remember kids
<tipz> hippos eat strawberry ice cream
<thadood> I'll keep that in mind next time I visit your mom.

#16589 +(198)- [X]

<azrael69> <----retarded
<madman`> true---^
<FlipMo> azrael69: pics plz

#16590 +(326)- [X]

<setuid_w00t> KT: and you act like you're six
<KT> setuid_w00t: how else is a 21 yr old supposed to act like?!
<setuid_w00t> don't ask me, I'm only 20

#16592 +(17)- [X]

<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude

#16594 +(228)- [X]

Ps3000: what are you doing tomorrow at 3:45?
SocialistNinja: waking up

#16595 +(878)- [X]

Silent4042: What's another name for child molestation?
SocialistNinja: Divine intervention?
Silent4042: What?
SocialistNinja: That's what my priest tells me.

#16601 +(438)- [X]

<Weirdo> Sooty just brought a mouse into my room
<Weirdo> brb
*** Weirdo is now known as Weirdo|F00d


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