#16254 +(1)- [X]
<Serevok> does your penis reach the city of Montreal?
<Cheezric> I'm talking 5, maybe ten minutes tops.
<Cheezric> Well, we jews are blessed.
<Serevok> with choping off your cocks at birth?
#16256 +(444)- [X]
<mrfrosty> your'e a faggot short of a raging fire
<mrfrosty> if you know what i mean
<mrfrosty> and if you do, let me know
#16262 +(461)- [X]
[ +Mattster ] in an emergency, the hard drive will launch itself through my window and safely onto the back lawn
[ +Mattster ] so in the future, someone else can benefit from my mp3's and porn
#16264 +(280)- [X]
<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"
#16266 +(159)- [X]
(dx) i once ordered sears siding for the condo complex across the street
(dx) they showed up
(dx) and knocked on the first condo
(dx) and the dude called the landlord
(dx) and he comes out
(dx) and starts screaming at them
(dx) sears calls me back and asks whats wrong and i told them i had no idea what they were talking aboit
(dx) sears never called me again
#16267 +(612)- [X]
<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience here
#16268 +(265)- [X]
<[m1]> i HATE real world
<[m1]> its a fucking platform for outspoken faggots with a high school vocabulary
<mrwhite> dave, sounds like irc
#16269 +(727)- [X]
<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the hospital'
<jasn> im like 'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'
#16270 +(162)- [X]
<aba> el job search soy el puta
<dave__> <aba> the job search i am the fuck
#16271 +(231)- [X]
<vampyriss> im not a girl
<vampyriss> not yet a woman
<[m1]> so you still tuck?
#16272 +(166)- [X]
<destruct> 88 N Feb 07 firstname.lastname@example.org ( 51) HOW DO YOUR EMPLOYEES SPEND THEIR DAY!!!!
<destruct> READING SPAM!!!!!
#16274 +(394)- [X]
<Calrathan> its amazinz;].jhv0z;].jhv0z;].jhv0z;].jhv how a little liquid in the keyboard can screw it up so much
#16277 +(486)- [X]
<elinsox> dude my boss rules
<mrwhite> with an iron fist
<legacy> and a big black strapon
#16281 +(404)- [X]
<Jugernaut> CLICK CLICK BOOM
<Jugernaut> today is pop metal day
<kaleido> i like to refer to it as 'aluminum music'
<kaleido> since its not as strong as metal
<kaleido> and it will eventually fold up and be thrown out
#16283 +(184)- [X]
<jitspoe> when I was little I had a wet dream... dreamed I was taking a pee in the toilet only to wake up and find out it wasn't the toilet I took the pee in...
<Pluto[BHG]> haha thats not a wet dream
<jitspoe> sure it is
<jitspoe> I was all wet :)
#16284 +(768)- [X]
<Fembot> I choose you, PINGachu!
<Fembot> Variable sized packet attack!
#16285 +(593)- [X]
* KnacK is busy studying for his urine test
* Fembot notes Knack failed his last test -- he kept peeking @ the guy beside him.
#16291 +(198)- [X]
<Zimbu> i was just using common sense, sorry
<Gimik\HMWRK> Zimbu: try to use something you have next time ;)
#16292 +(554)- [X]
<m00ks> ooop that almost wasn't a fart. Brb.
#16293 +(708)- [X]
<Calrathan> omg, the despair is making me use gotos!
<Calrathan> goto cliff
<Calrathan> jmp 0xFFFFFFFF
#16295 +(1209)- [X]
* jitspoe attempts to go back to his paper
<DaveMan> ALL YOUR CONCENTRATION ARE BELONG TO IRC
<DaveMan> YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO PASS MAKE YOUR BURGER FLIPPING
#16296 +(57)- [X]
<sage> Its like my card is a big fat breast and the asus support is a bra...my boob be flapin in the breeze over here.
#16298 +(862)- [X]
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health
#16300 +(139)- [X]
<BoZZ> my thing don't work...
<[TX]-KnacK_WerK> well at least ur not married...
#16302 +(295)- [X]
<DaveMan> nerds dont dance
<DaveMan> and DDR proves it again and again
#16359 +(529)- [X]
<knox> i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
<knox> i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
<knox> now i just wear dresses
#16361 +(2343)- [X]
<Jake> so I got dissed by this girl i was talking to online
<Jake> we were getting along really well and she wanted to meet
<Jake> but she wanted a picture
<Jake> so I sent her one (got one of hers, she was fine)
<Jake> she said "I'm really looking for some one more 'athletic'"
<Jake> so i say
<Jake> well im trying hard, ever since i have been able to afford the full time trainer and chef I've lost over 200 lbs
<Jake> she says you can afford a trainer/chef
<Jake> i say yeah
<Jake> she changes her mind about meeting
<Jake> i tell her to go fuck herself
#16362 +(208)- [X]
<SaraMarie> the houston texans
<SaraMarie> how original
<toast_> do they have an open container as a mascot?
#16363 +(251)- [X]
<Paulo> What KOF babe has the sexiest navel?
<Angelblade> Is the navel where your thing-thing is supposed to go?
<K9999> YOUR THING-THING CAN'T GO INTO A NAVEL! Although it might be an intriguing experience...
<MilleniumWEAPON> Your... thing-thing??? Though it does not go into the navel too well, I could recommend some "educational" sites as to where you put your thing-thing, but I'd get banned...
#16364 +(-43)- [X]
<IGNORANT> why do allways the amarican punk rocker go out whit the bullshit new wave hokker girls i dont like it here in norway punkrocers go out whit punkrock girl ore tellephone hokkers ore les they go out whit them self and do homosexual aktivitis!!!!!!!!!!
#16365 +(202)- [X]
<sacarna> i think willingly putting your child in a porno comes under the catergory of unfit parent
#16366 +(15)- [X]
<eriq> ins should be like 'yoink' and throw elian's little communist cuban ass on de plane.
#16367 +(157)- [X]
<cYner> you know, some times, I get all head fuct and then I type something and forget to hit enter, then after about 5 min it's not even part of the conversation anymore, then I just clear the line and all is well.
#16368 +(441)- [X]
<MaXiMUz> so linux and ftp r the same thing rite?
<MaXiMUz> Fuck hacking itz too complicated, i can't ftp and shit
#16369 +(763)- [X]
<esokitty> FUCKING A
<kitten> fuck a B it has more holes
#16371 +(324)- [X]
*** Quits: SkAtEcHiC (Life is the most precious thing u can loose)
<Stuff> the other day I lost 5 bucks, so I'll have to disagree
#16372 +(1970)- [X]
<Cyberllam> I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I am doing an excellant job driving." Then I can cut people off and they won't know what to do.
#16373 +(35)- [X]
<JtHM> if I had a child I'd do it naturally
<sacarna> out your penix?
<JtHM> it's big enough to handle it I reckon
#16374 +(511)- [X]
(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse.
#16376 +(194)- [X]
<BabyDuck> i fucked my wrists playing a pinball game on my PC
<BabyDuck> but I played like 400 games, which would cost $100 at the arcade. I bought the game for $15, so I have saved $85 so far
#16378 +(609)- [X]
<kaleido> when i was at e*trade i went to a dept dinner thing and everyone was drinking 20 year old wines and shit, and i ordered a bud light
<kaleido> everyone looked at me like i called their mother a cunt
#16379 +(1019)- [X]
<outcaste> Rolling On The Floor Because My Artificial Limbs Fell Off
#16387 +(107)- [X]
<@MousePad> Mainframes never forget ;)
#16389 +(9)- [X]
<bigs-:#rap> what is a good website? im trying to find a picture with someone who has platinum or gold teeth
#16393 +(182)- [X]
<kimo> tylenol + advil + a half a shot of JD == an episode of seinfeld, all characters played by your truly
#16396 +(360)- [X]
<sev0> remember in school?
<sev0> remember the kids upside down stuffed into the garbage can?
<sev0> 20 years later, ircops.
<sev0> do the math
#16398 +(340)- [X]
<bix> it was like the flintstones
<mltj> but without the cars.
<mltj> or dinosaurs.
<mltj> or flintstones.
#16400 +(118)- [X]
Ebyan: Dude, Yahoo! Monopoly would be the absolute shit
HolyViper7: Yahoo! Bukkake would be the absolute shit.
#16401 +(803)- [X]
<stutz> I hear you call your dick Godzilla
<stutz> Is that because its green and smells of fish?
<jamey> no, it's because it doesn't really exist
#16406 +(683)- [X]
<Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm the only one, I must be pretty powerful.