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#15785 +(299)- [X]

<b00m> i once got a virus that opened and shut my cd drive and i was like wtf... i ended up taping it shut until i wiped my computer

#15787 +(710)- [X]

<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery

#15790 +(166)- [X]

<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.

#15791 +(320)- [X]

<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down.

#15792 +(117)- [X]

<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)

#15798 +(165)- [X]

<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O

#15810 +(431)- [X]

<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them

#15817 +(208)- [X]

<RikisuuDelta> i'm glad my parents dont play quake, they'd frag my ass and tell me it's dinner time

#15822 +(355)- [X]

<evilpie> P.S. oblique, since both you and your girlfriend live with your parents, how in the fuck do you manage to bang her?
<jre> It wasn't so much of a bang as a dull thud."

#15825 +(355)- [X]

<Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted
<Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely completely fake?
<WeslyC> I hear ya man
<WeslyC> This is one of 'em.
<Moogboy> O_o

#15826 +(817)- [X]

<vqhmdragn> rawk!
<S4murai> exactly
<vqhmdragn> twat I cunt hear you I must have a ear infucktion, plz cum closer
<S4murai> I too have an ear infucktion butits ok, I have a pill to take every half whore
<vqhmdragn> I'm afriad I cunt afwhored such a pill :(
S4murai> a little less expenisive is a small prick to your finger. Tit's the Doctwhore's bill that'll clit you in the end.
<vqhmdragn> so twats up s4murai?
<S4murai> nut much, you?
<vqhmdragn> just chillin out
<vqhmdragn> wait, it's midnut, I just turned 18, that's twats up
<S4murai> really? that's ballsome!
<vqhmdragn> yea now I can buy cigs legaly, I cuntent bewhore

#15832 +(568)- [X]

<TAOC> EVILPIE WILL LEAD US INTO A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTMENT AND PEACE
<TAOC> somebody ban him

#15834 +(352)- [X]

<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever
<@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones break.. but real ones dont
<+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...?
<+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need for it to glow?
<@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility factor
<+elf> i see...

#15835 +(164)- [X]

<shitpencil> I try not to discriminate when calling people niggers

#15837 +(436)- [X]

<cochese04> Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hampster and drop it in the scorpion cage.
<cochese04> I wanna see what a hampster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."

#15839 +(341)- [X]

<Actaeon> Stupid three-dimensional universe.
<Violetnite> Better than a two dimensional universe.
<Actaeon> Well, depends on the dimensions.
<Actaeon> And really, it is a good/bad thing.
<Violetnite> What is the good and bad.
<Violetnite> Just curious.
<Actaeon> The three-dimensionality makes it so that I am seperated from people I meet on here by actualy traversable space. On the other hand, three dimensions are necessary for tits. So, guess I just have to deal.

#15840 +(1546)- [X]

<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.

#15848 +(713)- [X]

<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos.  I would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of 2x4s for autocannon rounds.

#15850 +(111)- [X]

<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out

#15870 +(244)- [X]

<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when you're standing :(
<nzc> so takem off
<dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out
<dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being arrested
<dabblerblue> i hate that

#15878 +(711)- [X]

<Ouroboros> The large print giveth, and the fine print taketh away.

#15886 +(274)- [X]

HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to go into fetal position?
seventhcrow> spice world

#15890 +(69)- [X]

EpsilonII> Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, and Angelina Jolie in the remake of "A Pack of Lips Now!

#15897 +(555)- [X]

Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread

#15903 +(525)- [X]

<HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important
now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.

#15905 +(1123)- [X]

(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id
(juslooken) it was very jedi

#15906 +(585)- [X]

<PoisonPen> Those of us who were on Usenet back when it was all computer geeks,
scientists, and university students remember when the tsunami of AOLusers came
in.  We thought it was the Gotterdammerung... until WebTV came and revealed
the AOLusers as veritable towering geniuses compared to the slope-browed,
mouth-breathing idiocy they displayed.  They made "ME TOOO!" sound like a work
of Shakespeare.

#15910 +(860)- [X]

<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?

#15913 +(370)- [X]

<Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole
<StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?

#15916 +(142)- [X]

<HighKaramba> people who live in silicon houses should not throw pocket protectors

#15920 +(1647)- [X]

<+kmad> whats the best way to get vaseline off your dick
<@BigJesus> sand paper
<+royceda59> lol
<+kmad> fuck you, not fallign for that again

#15922 +(194)- [X]

<mikem> Myst IV:  Yes Mac Users Still Think This Is Fun

#15926 +(819)- [X]

<@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie, and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite." Bastards.

#15930 +(333)- [X]

<intokbles> sorry, i cant understand...
<intokbles> im from argentina,
<nobody> its ok jose
<intokbles> and my english it`s not so goof
<nobody> : )
<nobody> actually it is goof

#15932 +(122)- [X]

<Zorix> fuckin sob.. one of utelfla's routers is down
<Zorix> i only got half the internet

#15941 +(60)- [X]

<|^V^|Grim_Reaper> sorry but im exstreamly intelagent and i have a dick and my g/f happens to be scard of it

#15942 +(600)- [X]

<SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking I just got a ton of piss all over my hands.  Then I realize it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss.  What the HELL was my brain thinking?

#15943 +(431)- [X]

<SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline
<Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
<SamGod> Coda:  'cuz I smell like gasoline
<Coda> why?
<SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a few hours last night
<Twist-> See? he is a psycho.
<SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc...
<Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car?

#15946 +(297)- [X]

<Samrod> while ME, on the other hand, FOUND a digital Casio watch, spend 2 days breaking the code to access the phonebook, called a buncha peaple to see who they know in common, and eventually found its rightfull owner, which turned out to be a classmate
<fGewA> me find digital watch!
<fGewA> me call rightful owner!

#15956 +(880)- [X]

<mrm> i hate realplayer
<lummie> its good for cartoons
<mrm> yeah
<mrm> but it crawls deep into the anus of my computer
<mrm> and hides there eternally
<mrm> until i least expect it
<JtHM> your computer has an anus?!
<Fesh> realplayer installs it

#15961 +(352)- [X]

<ninth> creed is the cutting edge
<JtHM> just cuz they make you want to slit your wrists doesn't make them cutting edge

#15965 +(238)- [X]

<^bat-sai> sendai :p
<sendai> bob
<^bat-sai> hows lismore?
<sendai> ok
<sendai> not horrible
<sendai> :)
<sendai> leaving tomorow afternoon   :)
<^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
<^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
<^bat-sai> when i was 13
<sendai> what happened bob?
<^bat-sai> i was mocked
<^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were there to play baseball on the snes

#15970 +(511)- [X]

*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12

#15973 +(458)- [X]

<Fanboy> c00l, 1 l1k3 wr17ing like th1s
<Fanboy> cool.
<PrincessLeia2> heh... fanboy is so 1337
<Fanboy> 1337, what does that mean?

#15982 +(530)- [X]

[Shinji] I think he threatened to kill me actually, although it was so badly spelt that I wasn't sure if it was a death threat or a request to see if I wanted another cappuchino

#15983 +(1919)- [X]

<gig103> I drove by the fire department the other day, and they had a big public awareness sign that read, "Are your house numbers visible?" I thought, "Who the hell cares?  How about you just stop at the house that's on fire?!"

#15999 +(175)- [X]

<murderoustroll> what do you guys think.. my freinds mum splits neurons n shit 2night and tells me that its $3 to stay for dinner, $1 to stay the night , prerequisites being that i shower and strip before bed..
<murderoustroll> was i right to swear a heap n leave?

#16008 +(48)- [X]

<eX|chika|afk> BTW how was Singapore ?
<eX|chika|afk> get any cool shit while u were over there, like HIV or Herpies ?

#16012 +(242)- [X]

-Stevie-O- from what I hear, the average WebTV user makes it look like the average AOLer belongs in MIT

#16017 +(-61)- [X]

* ween has joined #gaysex
* ChanServ sets mode: +o ween


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