#15055 +(147)- [X]
<mos6581> i made a pornomovie once. though, i had such a small budget that i couldn't afford to hire any actors, so i had to act all alone. I gave the movie a name "hand".
#15056 +(637)- [X]
* Joins: dad (firstname.lastname@example.org)
<@tatpoop> Hi dad.
<@tatpoop> Quit hitting mommy. ;_;
<@tatpoop> OH GOD MEMORIES
#15059 +(26)- [X]
<Shaolin> "HEY GET OFF MY LAWN!!"
*** Quits: KP-Away (Exit: o[>_<]o)
#15064 +(26)- [X]
<rrrmmm> hi DrtyS0UTH how are ya?
<DrtyS0UTH> pretty good being that the weather is like a sauna here.
<rrrmmm> here its mostly cold and raining
<rrrmmm> maybe we should live somewhere in the middle where its nice or something
#15070 +(275)- [X]
<[Bryan]> maladono: Make with the showing of the boobies.
<Coan_Arcanius> Venom|WorkProblem: you have way too much time on your hands...and i hope thats all you have on your hands...
<[Bryan]> maladono: Why don't you show.
<maladono> im no slut!
<[Bryan]> maladono: well you don't have to be a slut, there are other things you can be. You could be an exhibitionist, or promiscous.... or even just free spirited.
#15071 +(316)- [X]
<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric"
#15073 +(216)- [X]
* Suzuran managed to make KDE change all of the text and error messages (even the ones in shell windows) to Japanese.
<kinzillah> Suzuran: can you read them though?
<Suzuran> kinzillah: Hell no. ^_^
#15074 +(311)- [X]
<Bryan> I need to find some vanilla cock to drink...
#15099 +(181)- [X]
<DumbNewbi> I have conversations with god
<DumbNewbi> it's a little bit like talking with a sleeping Calvin Coolidge though
#15125 +(276)- [X]
<Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
<The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire.
<The_Frymaster> You pervert.
#15163 +(146)- [X]
*** WiLD`stripped is now known as WiLD2`dummphuck
<Swarthy_Foreskin> wild, how was the stripping
<WiLD2`dummphuck> didn't get to it
<WiLD2`dummphuck> Nicole called
<Swarthy_Foreskin> damn women
<Swarthy_Foreskin> keep getting in the way of you getting your pants off
<Catalyst88> and theirs
#15166 +(262)- [X]
[ceman] I get mine from the fact that for the first 2 weeks of playing CS I didnt; know you could buy rifles
[ceman] I thought they were scattered on the ground and that people kept picking them up before me
#15176 +(392)- [X]
[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute of an erection
#15177 +(126)- [X]
[Mills] these new headphones of mie with a lead nearly got me in the shit last night, was watching some porn at about 3 am at pretty high volume and I got up and walked away, the speaker crashed down on the floor but thankfully the headphone jack didnt come out :)
#15181 +(270)- [X]
<red> just because something makes you briefly nauseous doesn't mean it's wrong
<mute> red, that's what i tell my woman
#15183 +(532)- [X]
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job.
#15184 +(311)- [X]
(Pulse): did u know it was part of dayly life in egypt to wank
(cypheh): its part of my daily life too
#15185 +(132)- [X]
<temujin> Linux == brotherhood of the dateless?
#15188 +(782)- [X]
<rbeattie> If you were MEANT to understand it, we wouldn't have called it 'code'
#15191 +(187)- [X]
<fahrvergnugen> I've totally avoided being in geekissues qdb.
<fahrvergnugen> as it now dawns on me, at this moment, that saying that on an irc channel is REALLY DUMB.
#15192 +(230)- [X]
<Kallahar> use telnet
<Nygis> i cant find the answer in telnet
<Kallahar> well, try harder. maybe you aren't pushing the keys in all the way.
<Nygis> but im pushin as hard as i can
#15193 +(1014)- [X]
<jenn> canada is ned flanders to usa's homer simpson.
<slurpee> so true
<slurpee> "hidely-hodely, neighborino!" "shut up, canada."
#15213 +(674)- [X]
|MallBrat[essay]| :"I remember the first time I jacked off. I thought I invented it. I looked down at my handful of junk and thought, 'I'm gonna be rich.''
#15224 +(314)- [X]
<Reiko> girl who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge
#15312 +(956)- [X]
˙¨˙ Quits: JESUS (email@example.com): Ping timeout
<Cyph3r> jesus died from my syn's
#15319 +(1272)- [X]
<Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
<Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
<Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
<Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "N, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
#15353 +(2776)- [X]
<Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
<[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
<aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
<Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
<Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a shift:::
<Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
<Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
<Hvatti> where can i find it
<Tiger> hehe :D
<aegis> at the left of your keyboard
<Hvatti> ok thanx::
<Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
<aegis> apparently it didn't
<Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
<aegis> you have to release the shift.
<Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
<Hvatti> like this?
* Lilly- faints
<aegis> yep, just like that
#15358 +(39)- [X]
<dR i l l 6 2> if it wasn't for the patience developed from windows,
#15360 +(463)- [X]
<FunG> i dunno how anyone thats smart could put up with your opinionated and pretentious ass. if i were locked in a room with you for 10 minutes id stab myself in the face. id have to before your personality oozed all over me and make me second in command of the idiot ship.
#15361 +(256)- [X]
<@dRŽ> nn ?
<@ANŽFunG> night night
<@dRŽ> my granny used to say that
<@dRŽ> are u 86 with blue hair ?
<@ANŽFunG> well, you are what you eat
#15415 +(188)- [X]
<Helios> Guess what I've got in my hand RIGHT NOW
<niff|n> "his penis"
* anavrinny blinks
<anavrinny> tetris? :P
<Helios> and my penis
<Helios> I am rubbing it against the tetris
<niff|n> lucky you rin!
<curious> He won't say whether he's a four-square long man or a _|_ shaped one.
#15417 +(248)- [X]
<andyd> No, I'm not being difficult
<andyd> but it is ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY LICENSES FOR SOFTWARE WHEN THE LICENSES HAVE BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM SALE,
<andyd> I can't tell. For a moment I thought that it was a brick wall.
#15422 +(195)- [X]
<loud_as_it_getz> yea well
<loud_as_it_getz> does n e 1 actually chat on mirc??
<@KittenAssassin> we chat on IRC
<Simwolf> no one at all
<@KittenAssassin> you must be in the wrong place
<Simwolf> absolutely not a FUCKING soul
<loud_as_it_getz> wich is?
<@KittenAssassin> just type /s IRC
<@KittenAssassin> and you will be re directed to IRC
*** Quits: loud_as_it_getz (firstname.lastname@example.org) (Need more parameters)
#15424 +(260)- [X]
<ZondrZout> You sloppy ASP coders!
<Xtreee> ZondrZout, I am @ the stage where I am happy when my code works :)
<ZondrZout> My boss is at the stage where he's happy when I work
#15428 +(122)- [X]
<cosyc> i dont drunk much either
#15432 +(260)- [X]
<^CHH>Stormer> brought some bitch home from the bar last night, had to leave her here this morning when I went to work, I come home and the bitch is gone and stole my damn cat
<^CHH>Stormer> that dumb bitch.....
<^CHH>Stormer> she wouldn't even swallow
#15433 +(130)- [X]
<EmSea> anyone here live in cincinnati?
<|TIA|PoP> not i
<EmSea> was i talking to you
#15434 +(368)- [X]
<juji> but i'd have to learn japanese to play half of its games :)
<z2-Fool> you don't speak japanese?
<z2-Fool> and you're a slope?
<juji> i'd cry
<juji> but i cant fit tears through my chinky eyeslits
#15435 +(1123)- [X]
<Setups> is it a forest fire?
<Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
<SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
<Setups> its in alberta
<Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
<travelyan> they have fire in canada?
<Setups> fuck you
#15436 +(576)- [X]
<Godfather> white people dont go to jail, look at OJ
<Inferno> he's black u fag
#15437 +(219)- [X]
<WarBuddha> can someone explain to me why i have another cd-rom drive all of a sudden
<WarBuddha> my computer hates me
*** Quits: WarBuddha (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
#15438 +(544)- [X]
<teddyg> any1 here like fred dursts lyrics
<teddyg> i can really connect w/ him when i read/listen to his lyrics
<brakums> are you 12?
#15444 +(247)- [X]
<Deke> i think you mean unceunceunceunce
<Deke> if you're going to be an unce'ing wanker, at least do it right
<Hiroechan> you aussies have got all sorts of weird noise sounds
<^WaR^Zzz> wtf is unce :)
<Deke> unce is the noise a wog's car makes as it drives past
<Deke> the techno bass beat
<Deke> nothing like unf
<Hiroechan> i was going to suggest: Universal Noise of Cock Eating
#15445 +(173)- [X]
<BillDcat^> bah, i find most 'religion' to be big business, if i wanna support that, i go to Mcdonalds, where i can at least eat
<[y]> early morning theology
<[y]> film at 11
<generator> so you worship ronald mcdonald and all his value meals?
<[y]> i know i do
<BillDcat^> pretty much, that way i can have my scripture & eat it 2
<BillDcat^> it's easy to believe in , if you can afford it
#15448 +(168)- [X]
<[mac]> whats virii?
<[mac]> the linux txt editor?
#15450 +(298)- [X]
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#15451 +(1549)- [X]
<Kolar> For the record, I want to get a copy of that one video of JFK getting shot, so I can dub in the Unreal Tournament 'HEADSHOT!' sound clip.
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald is on a KILLING SPREE.
<Domarcet> So what does that make the film of Ruby shooting Oswald?
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald's Killing Spree has been ended by Jack_Ruby.
<Kolar> Jack_Ruby was looking good until he died of cancer in prison!
<Kolar> And then the chat window could come up and say "JFKennedy: OMG camper fagz"
#15454 +(249)- [X]
[Shinji] my pants are pretty disturbed too!
[Shinji] then again, you'd be pretty disturbed if you spent your life this close to my crotch.
#15457 +(1465)- [X]
<na-dragon> Who would win in a fight? A Z-Fighter from dragon ball z, or a jedi master?
<jonblake> Well, thats a good question, there are alot of things that need to be factored in
<jonblake> Z fighters can fly, shoot big balls of energy, go really fast, and releport etc
<na-dragon> Yes but a jedi master can see all of that happen before he does it, and he has a light saber..
<jonblake> I guess this is one of those things in life we will never really know
<Vyse> GOD DAMNIT, Has either one of you ever even SEEN what a pussy looks like?
#15460 +(221)- [X]
<ll|||ll||> I meant to say to ant.. "Use themeat from the fridge so we don't have to defrost stuff for dinner".. but I said.. [16:49.43] <ll|||ll||> "Use the meat from the fridge so we don't have to download stuff for dinner"