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#14509 +(1035)- [X]

<Joe> Who invented l33t-speak?
<Evil_Lawn_Gnome> Joe, I did.
<milencho880> i invented it
<Joe> Really? Good. I always wanted to meet the world's biggest fucking idiots.

#14510 +(213)- [X]

<nightfal> diffused: Runtime().exec() is just a shortcut to
           ((Satan)System.getPropety("SATAN")).burnMyFaceOff(). Don't do it

#14511 +(666)- [X]

(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.

#14513 +(299)- [X]

<Stay99>but anyway, back to me. I want to be the ruler of the world. Sometimes-I play ruler of the world in my basement when noone else is home

#14515 +(268)- [X]

<m0bi_work> what is the "care for the comfort of a dying person" called
<hydro-> euthanasia

#14518 +(73)- [X]

* Craig thinks what it would be like if he had a 20" peins...
<Spooky> You'd have to wear a kilt
<Villager> you'd need to buy more bin liners
<Craig> would I collapse if I got an erection?
<Spooky> And you could never ride a motorcycle

#14519 +(289)- [X]

Craig> craig's penis - 8===========================D O: - spooky
<Spooky> Your "penis" is less that 3 inches long.

#14521 +(150)- [X]

<B|ack> I hate stupid people
<B|ack> god im so stupid.....

#14526 +(1444)- [X]

<oneo|SUMMER> the US has some of the best schools in the nation

#14528 +(264)- [X]

<AutistiCat> I'm forgetful.
<AutistiCat> Yet I can remember 50 digits of pi...
<Arcman> That's why, see.  That took up all your brain space.

#14530 +(675)- [X]

*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't

#14531 +(31)- [X]

<homerj`> what do I know? I load slashdot and get a pink screen
<splice> sounds like your sex life

#14533 +(384)- [X]

<Vedic> Boiling cheese = DON'T EAT

#14538 +(219)- [X]

<usrg>  cigarettes are carcinogenic, too
<oink2u> actually, it's the smoke that you inhale from the cigarette that's carcinogenic
<usrg> well DUH  :-P
<usrg> you don't eat the damn thing!

#14539 +(-13)- [X]

<Funk> I just watched the Tomb Raider film
<Lammy> WOW YOU WONT WATCH HARRY POTTER BUT YOU WILL WATCH TOMB RAIDER
<Funk> UHH I watched Harry Potter the night it opened, spastic
<Lammy> OH
<Lammy> BESIDES YOU JUST USED THE WORD 'SPASTIC'
<Lammy> WHICH NEGATES ANY POINT YOU MAKE ON ACCOUNT OF BEING RETARDED

#14544 +(50)- [X]

<@Chibi> You know you're pathetic when roaches are bigger than your penis :o

#14552 +(565)- [X]

<prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids' otherwise normal names
<prick> Or change them
<prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
<prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
<prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of spelling out her name to strangers

#14554 +(21)- [X]

<fsdf> I DONT CARE I DONT LIKE TALKING TO NAZIS
<fsdf> ESP. JEWISH NAZIS

#14558 +(192)- [X]

<Fishfood> EVERYONE NET PERSON I HAVE MET HAS ENDED UP SUCKING MY COCK
<Eurakarte> WOW, I HAVE GOT TO MEET YOU
<Funk> that's why I don't want to meet you
<Fishfood> I HARDLY THINK THAT'S YOUR CHOICE
<Fishfood> YEAH I BET THE ONLY REASON FUNK DOESN'T WANT TO MEET ANYONE IS THAT HES ONLY JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL
<Funk> That's why Fish wants to meet me

#14562 +(492)- [X]

<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
<lemmer> HOORAY
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
<coolzx> NOW I HAVE 34
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
<Benco> ^_^

#14567 +(101)- [X]

<radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P

#14568 +(154)- [X]

<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT.....

#14569 +(235)- [X]

<Baby_Gurl16> Does any one here have a thousand dollars i could borrow to bail my boyfriend out of jail with if so please msg me

#14571 +(129)- [X]

<Cardsfan> ethan - do u know by any chance how to get rid of something out of dev manager in windows xp?  it says it cannot delete it because it may be required for the computer to boot

#14572 +(203)- [X]

<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow

#14575 +(721)- [X]

<prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW!  PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO!  SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT MUSIC: NIN]"

#14581 +(686)- [X]

<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff

#14582 +(672)- [X]

<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl

#14583 +(147)- [X]

*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming

#14589 +(260)- [X]

<+CmOrHaIr> i can put a computer together and be prepareing the hdd in 20 min
<+CmOrHaIr> or 15 even
<+Jackworks> CmOrHaIr: if u do it in 15 i bet i can make it in 14
* ^Caliban makes sure to avoid any computers put together by Cmor or Jack

#14591 +(122)- [X]

<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)

#14592 +(437)- [X]

<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary, but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I was good.

#14596 +(46)- [X]

<+pfk-serv> your married...thats interesting....your constantly downloading porn...i figure you were just like the rest of us...perverts

#14600 +(208)- [X]

<Wilik> i'd download the .txt version of the bible
<Wilik> but it might corrupt my computer

#14602 +(224)- [X]

<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp

#14608 +(375)- [X]

<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK

#14609 +(37)- [X]

<[ryan]> there have been many times that i popped a boner on accident and i was like
<[ryan]> in a cold sweat
<[ryan]> trying to get that mother down

#14618 +(289)- [X]

<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22

#14619 +(231)- [X]

(@Kensey): what's a cack
(@TheNoid): kensey: PENIS
(@Kensey): cool i have a cack

#14621 +(42)- [X]

(@Grantfly): i'm actually rubbing my balls right now
(@Grantfly): i wonder if my parents' keyboard is gonna smell like my balls
(@Grantfly): they might not like that

#14622 +(514)- [X]

<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume:  Domestic Goddess      <-  Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house

#14623 +(341)- [X]

(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...

#14624 +(305)- [X]

(WoHo): im as pure as a virgin :D
(Lachlann): take out the 2nd, 3rd and 4th word from woho's sentence and it's true

#14625 +(55)- [X]

(@Cloud7): CACK OR HOTDOG
(@Cloud7): THAT IS THE QUESTION
(@RaiNiNG): hotdog tastes better
(@Cloud7): i doubt it

#14627 +(250)- [X]

*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)

#14629 +(77)- [X]

(@Drizzt): being fat = broken
(@Drizzt): it got me off army for obesity :D

#14631 +(362)- [X]

<ne|l> hmm, think i was supposed to get married today
<pilt> i know, she just told me from under the desk.

#14632 +(310)- [X]

<Adie> I could see pinching pain but fire pain?
<Adie> owwwie
<Cel|Work> its quick
<HeiWork> you just need to moisten the breast a little so the vaporizing liquid absorbs the heat instead of the breast
<HeiWork> really, there's hard scientific reasons for why i need to lick your titties

#14638 +(951)- [X]

<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?

#14647 +(277)- [X]

<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
      dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
      the recycling bin.


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