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#14198 +(627)- [X]

(Horny-Net-Geek): Hi, I just got my computer yesterday morning took all day to set up and I stayed up half the night to download mirc from a web sight in Turkey. My questions is (1) how do I get ops (2) how do you send messages. (3) all women here a/s/l/?

#14201 +(110)- [X]

slightlypissed : I once got hit on by an old man when I was leaving a cicuit city :(
sourgirldaisey : hahahah
sourgirldaisey : did you get his number?
sourgirldaisey : :)
slightlypissed : no, I kinda just walked faster

#14202 +(411)- [X]

<flee> fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to
<flee> suffering, suffering leads to ice cream.
<mrg> mmmm, ice cream
<6> ice cream leads to fat, fat leads to jazzercise, jazzercise
<6> leads to SUFFERING
<mrg> yay the cycle of ice cream is complete!

#14203 +(221)- [X]

<stormin> what's asl?
<Xiautau> age/sex/location
<Xiautau> teen channels have that shit
<Xiautau> not that i go to teen channels

#14205 +(1258)- [X]

<hoche> heredocs, theredocs, everwhereadocsdocs
<geo> old macdonald had a server farm
<geo> He eyed the I/O

#14206 +(414)- [X]

<tague> i want to start a new movement, lets replace God with Allah in
<tague> the pledge and see how long it lasts
<Deke> i wanna replace with it with spam
<Deke> let companies bid on the phrase and raise some cash
<tague> there's an idea
<Deke> "One nation, under < For Rent > "

#14207 +(10762)- [X]

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

#14210 +(250)- [X]

<scud> shadap i was referring to SKYLAB
<CCCP_Lord_Soth> scud has a learning center similar to skylab only its in his basement instead of space..also its a meth lab not a skylab

#14214 +(858)- [X]

<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> and?
<Ryan> lightening
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over

#14215 +(765)- [X]

<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it

#14217 +(1052)- [X]

<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

#14220 +(346)- [X]

<Pi|Mu|Rho> I'm sure that somewhere out there is the
right girl for you . Unfortunately, I think "out there" is measured in
light years.

#14221 +(358)- [X]

<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am?

#14222 +(199)- [X]

<Sierro> I don't need music to get a shag
<mal> well no
<mal> music and miracle, but the musics a start

#14223 +(227)- [X]

<madz> sbs, would you choose:  Linux, or Windows?
<sbs> I would choose: Oral Sex.

#14228 +(42)- [X]

<Compn> i have an acoustic guitar or whatever the non electic ones are called

#14229 +(47)- [X]

<lid> so what did i miss
<dustyX> oh, the secret of life, nothing big.
<lid> did ya decide what it is
<lid> im kinda curious
<dustyX> doncha know, the secret of life is 42?
<lid> lid fixes a beer and clam, and passes it to tasha:)
<lid> well im 50 so i missed that secret:)

#14232 +(609)- [X]

<sWampy> he should have had anikin walk in on jarjar doing portman, and that be the reason that anikin turned so dark, and jarjar being luke and leia's father would explain a lot about why they were so dippy to have such a strong father.
<clemmy> but why would darthvader tell luke he's his father then?
<sWampy> just to confuse him so he could cut off his hand, plus he's in denial that his wife would cheat on him with jarjar.
<clemmy> I guess luke would be more shocked to find out jarjar is his father
<Harekiet> darth vader still had some good in him so he didn't want luke to know

#14239 +(134)- [X]

*** Quits: cuebal (Most parents would hope that that their offspring yearn to become doctors, lawyers, or even a journalist, but these days all kids want to be is Pikachu..)

#14249 +(965)- [X]

<andjusticeforall> I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I got is a $16 bill", then knee him in the nuts when he tries to figure out what the fuck you just said.

#14250 +(298)- [X]

* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw, really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r>  No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character is human
    and she is an alien...

#14255 +(281)- [X]

<D_Knight> I have return
<D_Knight> And i will not be denied(....dont ban again plz)

#14257 +(741)- [X]

<@ScuzleBut> I was an athiest until I realized I was God.

#14258 +(8247)- [X]

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

#14260 +(523)- [X]

<GunnX> I was locked in my bathroom once getting ready for a date
<GunnX> :)
<GunnX> door knob fell off
<GunnX> those were the days
<polyglot> wtf were you doing to the doorknob?

#14265 +(544)- [X]

BeHeMoTh101 : i'm waiting for the right girl..... the kind that will have sex with me

#14277 +(153)- [X]

<nihil-_> she's about as darling as waking up in the morning with another mans semen all over my face

#14287 +(739)- [X]

<fireside> cum is teh nasty
<died_in_sleep> and you know this how?
<fireside> ive (accidently) and unfortuntly licked some
<died_in_sleep> you shouldt know those things, unless your dad rapes you :/
<fireside> i can cum bitch
<dragondyne> how is that possible?
<fireside> um
<fireside> it comes out... on finger... i put finger in mouth, it taste bad
<dragondyne> ...
<dragondyne> I thought you said "accidently"

#14289 +(176)- [X]

* eMeow-v2 fiddles with his r00t
<Apollo-> Can you fiddle with my r00t too? I like it when people play with my root
<eMeow-v2> Apollo-: you want "girlfriend". STFW.
<Apollo-> haha
<Apollo-> No, if I had a "girlfriend", "wife" would STFW for "unsolvable murder"

#14299 +(355)- [X]

Dainichi> Sometimes, I really do think it'd be nifty-keen to have another me around.
Phantbert> no way
Phantbert> I'd hate to have another me
Phantbert> the last thing I need is another pretentious asshole to deal with.

#14300 +(802)- [X]

Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage."

#14301 +(300)- [X]

<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber "magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the privacy of your own home.

#14303 +(307)- [X]

HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.

#14304 +(464)- [X]

ElectromagneticPhantom> there's like this monster, stooping over a dead body, it looks up at the camera, and as it moves, the heavy skin shifts and folds over itself in places and IT LOOKS FRELLING *REAL*
Lyme> Okay, PHant, I read that sentence, and thought you were talking about dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> yeah
Lyme> I reread it like, 3 times, and I still think you're talking about dick.
Lyme> Are you talking about dick?
ElectromagneticPhantom> but this monster has no eyes, I think. and four legs
ElectromagneticPhantom> and claws and stuf
Lyme> Four-legged dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> and nasty teeth
ElectromagneticPhantom> and it eats people
CommandantCleavage> four-legged dick monster? You mean men?
Lyme> four-legged clawed cannibalistic dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> it is NOT a dickmonster!
Lyme> It only eats other dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> STOP IIIIIIIT

#14305 +(459)- [X]

PhantomStark> <-- laughing too hard to express it in internet acronyms

#14308 +(213)- [X]

* EndersShadow remembers erector sets, you had to buy several before you had enough parts to have a big erection

#14309 +(374)- [X]

Dainichi> I'm going to start a band called Hand Solo.
Dainichi> Our first song will be a heavy metal cover of "I Touch Myself"

#14312 +(329)- [X]

[Red-Fraggle] I just noticed sumthin'... Those Star Trek uniforms can't hide a stiffy.

#14316 +(69)- [X]

BoobiePatutti> My mom is now telling me what Hobbits do with their feet at night.
BoobiePatutti> Feeting.
BoobiePatutti> Like fisting, only with their feet.

#14318 +(159)- [X]

Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)

#14331 +(222)- [X]

[Lyme] My granpa is seriously nuts. When my parents went to visit him for his 60th anniversary thingie, he wore 1 dangly woman's earing and a gilligan hat.

#14334 +(614)- [X]

[Dainichi] I want a penis! Hell, you have a penis, you can masturbate anywhere!
[Dainichi] For a woman to do it RIGHT, she has to lay down. Man gets a boner in the kitchen, he can wack off in the kitchen.
[Dainichi] If I had a penis...I'd lock myself in my room for so long that my friends and family would probably end up calling missing persons on me.

#14336 +(247)- [X]

[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies

#14339 +(260)- [X]

Bug> Red, yer a nut.
Bug> A left nut.
justRed-dammit> oooo.. will you be the right nut so that i can rub against you in tight clothing?

#14340 +(91)- [X]

justRed-dammit> i wish i had the ability to go back in time and make sure that what was to become of brittney spears ran down her daddy's leg!

#14343 +(434)- [X]

<Paveourroads> in a multiplayer game, you can be all, "Look, I have cooler shit than you." in a singleplayer game, you're like, "OK, my stuff is cool." and you show people who come over to your house and they're like, "You're a loser." so you cry and die. >:(

#14347 +(37)- [X]

<Numloxx> why is it that when i saw the book troubleshooting winXP, i immediately had a vision of somebody with a sniper rifle trying to shoot through the whole in the middle of a winXP cd...
<Nick> because you're an idiot
<sion> Or special
<sion> "special"

#14350 +(139)- [X]

<malcolm> c pointers work just like laser pointers

#14351 +(356)- [X]

<malcolm> I would appreciate it more if I didn't have to set JAVA_HOME and ANT_HOME and HILL_DEPTH and AVERAGE_LIFESPAN_OF_INSECT and NUMBER_OF_LEGS and DIRECTION_OF_PREVAILING_WIND and BIRTHDAY

#14352 +(415)- [X]

<SophiesCat> my room is making ominous popping sounds.
<malcolm> ghost popcorn

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