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#13111 +(210)- [X]

<neia_doll> Im 5 foot 11 and 116 lbs..i lost 3 on accident..
<k-rad-bob> accident?
<neia_doll> so Im pretty skinny
<k-rad-bob> you got an abortion?

#13121 +(18)- [X]

<i_am_pi> (pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
<i_am_pi> i love QDB./
<i_am_pi> www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<pedXing> i_am_pi: I believe it's a 2 year minimum sentence, but I'm sure they'd be laughing.
<Kthulu> i doubt they'd find it funny

#13131 +(164)- [X]

<Adamus> I wouldn't care about the bot if you didn't deny me access to the
   channel I that I have been using for this past year
<M[]rgue> meh
<M[]rgue> wasted youth is no concern of mine

#13133 +(297)- [X]

<OneiWilly> ah crap i accidently downloaded winzip again instead of winamp

#13148 +(439)- [X]

[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord

#13151 +(643)- [X]

[ @niffie ] I have no inhabitions right now
[ @aphr0 ] would you finger my asshole?
[ @niffie ] no
[ @aphr0 ] then you have inhibitions

#13193 +(503)- [X]

<XwinGs> can i find any mensa iq test on the net ?
<Ntruder> part of the test is finding the test.  good luck.
<XwinGs> oic

#13195 +(1118)- [X]

<adam1> my gf supposedly has "issues" with me
<Hiroe> Heh, my ex didn't have just a few issues, she had a fuckin *Subscription*

#13198 +(224)- [X]

[01:05] <Hiyaz> I have my Windows 95 dick from my old Desk top
[01:05] <Elysian`> hmm
[01:05] <Elysian`> win95 dick
[01:05] <magtec> some may call me desperate, but i really don't think i'd want one of those.
[01:07] <MrSparkle> magtec:  you never know what kinda virus you could get from a Win95 d....
[01:07] <Elysian`> a STD
[01:07] <Elysian`> Setup Transmitted Disease

#13200 +(666)- [X]

<erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity?

#13211 +(410)- [X]

<PJ> Ok
<PJ> let me get this straight...
<PJ> Your pregnant wife shoved speed down your throat during sex?
<Covert22-UNS> Yup pretty much

#13213 +(8003)- [X]

<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error  :o
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
<Spazz> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> fuck
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

#13246 +(489)- [X]

You're now known as
<@> wtf
<@> what nick am I

#13250 +(692)- [X]

<+phunk> i have to send 8 photos of myself in
<@fraggle> one for each angle
<@fraggle> they're going to make you into a doom monster

#13254 +(151)- [X]

<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"

#13266 +(90)- [X]

(zeki): whats a badger?
(ThinG): hes from wind in the willows

#13267 +(300)- [X]

<Mithrandir> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?12572
- did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<SirPrux> already read that
<SirPrux> it's not funny
<Mithrandir> did you try?
<SirPrux> Yeah

#13272 +(24)- [X]

<Hell`> russ where do u live ?
<russ> delaware
<Hell`> ill come and pick ya up
<Hell`> if its on the way
<Hell`> where the fuck it that
<Hell`> i need a state !
<Hell`> i need a state !
<Hell`> i need a state !
<Hell`> not a city
<Hell`> lol

#13282 +(279)- [X]

<Ferney> WTF??? benchmarks for a fuggin VIBRATOR?

#13295 +(220)- [X]

<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here

#13309 +(28)- [X]

<Moled> the only female people I have spoken to are in my family or teachers at school

#13315 +(814)- [X]

*** Joins: Tallpaul
*** Semper is now known as Smallpaul
*** Smallpaul is now known as Semper
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper_is_gay
*** Semper is now known as Tallpaul
*** Semper_is_gay is now known as Semper
*** Quits: Semper (Kill by NickServ (RECOVER command used by Tallpaul))
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper
<Semper> I'm a dick
<Semper> :D

#13322 +(52)- [X]

<ALegitOne> cls
<ALegitOne> oops.
<ALegitOne> lol this isn't linux or dos

#13325 +(336)- [X]

<Apocalypse23x> dids you noitiuce hitting yourself ehwne drunk dont hurt

#13331 +(455)- [X]

<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....

#13339 +(7)- [X]

<zRz> Hello a question... that I have to make to be able to write in color in the devil??

#13340 +(248)- [X]

<Ludwig> thats amazing, how a company can charge you extra for what you shoulda gotten originally
<Ludwig> its like buying a hamburger, getting the buns only, then having to pay more for the meat
<@Gaile[diinet]> Ludwig, you're wrong, clear and simple
<Ludwig> only thing clear and simple is getting through your panties
*** Ludwig was kicked by Gaile[diinet] (Gaile[diinet])

#13350 +(1013)- [X]

<Sam_> yesterday i saw MIB2 and mr. deeds.
<P|CK|E> i saw mib6-4 like, 6-4 weeks ago
<P|CK|E> my two key doesnt work.

#13351 +(-7)- [X]

<MASTERR_4_SLUT_GIRLZ> i need a slut girl as my sex slave as i have pics of scenes i have in mind. apply on ur kneels with atleast ur topless pic.

#13355 +(179)- [X]

<[chromex]> A paleontologist is a type of dinosaur

#13358 +(316)- [X]

<MarZi^> what are you doing on Quakenet if you dont play Counterstrike?

#13359 +(1259)- [X]

<TrivBot> Question 3. A man's beard grows fastest when he ______?
<_Cozmo_> shaves it
<emul8or__> shaves
<RatAway> jacks off
<TrivBot> Here's a hint: antici
<Rjx> anticipates sex
<TrivBot> Rjx got the answer: anticipates sex. In: 5.7secs.
<Rjx> wtf?

#13362 +(313)- [X]

<Kitster17m> i don't quote meaningless blabs
<RainDown> <Kitster17m> " You are a stupid bitch ,
<RainDown> <Kitster17m> and i hate you "
<RainDown> thanks for being oh-so-meaningful
<Kitster17m> that's not meaningless, that's very deep
<Kitster17m> it's an introspective criticism concerning one's relations with another, and the social awareness of the prostitution institute
<RainDown> Screw you

#13367 +(821)- [X]

<Blaxthos> find / -name "*base*" -user your -print |xargs 'chown us'

#13370 +(492)- [X]

<HuStLe> Today I was was flirting with this hot girl in the halls after school but once again my computer screwed me over
<Netminder> How so?
<HuStLe> Well I was gettin far with her, then she me a secret about her and her ex, I went to laugh, but guess what came out.
<HuStLe> Me - "Laugh out Loud", I actually said laugh out loud. :(

#13386 +(522)- [X]

<J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
<DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
<d> you idiot ds
<d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"

#13393 +(153)- [X]

<argol> Argh... There are a cuople of CD's i cant find
<[HaT]Mhor> Go look for em?
<argol> They are in another room
<[HaT]Mhor> Well.. look for em in there?
<argol> erh.. the whole room is filled with cd's litterally. you cant go into the back of the room without some climbing. and i suspect the cds are in the back. =(

#13395 +(226)- [X]

(akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
(akerom) or a fat naked girl
(akerom) im making a comic of last night

#13398 +(146)- [X]

(drifter) I broke my rioport player
(jafo) how?
(drifter) but I'm just gonna take it back to the store and get it replaced
(jafo) trying to upload mpegs to it?
(drifter) plugged in the power source to the earphone jack.
(drifter) cos the power source looks like it goes there.

#13399 +(1537)- [X]

(jeek) Jesus Christ.
(jeek) How the hell am I supposed to swallow two alka-seltzer pills.
(jeek) ?
(seawolf_) put them in water first
(jeek) But then they'll dissolve
(jeek) Oh, I get it
(jeek) n/m

#13401 +(233)- [X]

(tarmac) OMG
(tarmac) PAIN
(tarmac) my nipples are chaffed
(tarmac) from running
(tarmac) with a wet shirt
(tarmac) and
(tarmac) i sprayed colonge on
(tarmac) WOW

#13403 +(115)- [X]

(KrON^) *yawn*
(GoofNOff) *yawn*
(GoofNOff) stop that
..[join/#php] hepcat_(~knight@PPP-159.dentech.net)
(cwc) No, YOU!  Who the hell ever caught a yawn off of the internet?
(GoofNOff) I did... just now
cwc did too.  How embarrassing.

#13404 +(785)- [X]

<@rtav> CaptainX, It is considered outdated and sexist to refer to your barbecue with "her"
<@rtav> CaptainX, Unless it is an erotic barbecue with the erotic feature set of a woman.
<@rtav> Then I propose that you are confusing a hooker with a barbecue.
<@rtav> To determine once and for all whether you are dealing with a barecue or a hooker, simply light it on fire.
<@rtav> If it runs, you are dealing with a hooker.
<@rtav> If it does not, you are either dealing with a barbecue or a dead hooker.

#13405 +(497)- [X]

<Synikal> i do lawns
<mikeyjone> plz no sexual preferences
<Synikal> i do like 2 every day almost
<mikeyjone> one day you'll answer the door and a small blade of grass will be there saying "daddy?"
<Synikal> lol

#13406 +(434)- [X]

<@AJ-> [-amp-]: My girl might be, erm, uh, you know
<@[-amp-]> a man?

#13407 +(838)- [X]

<@durin> wanting to work for redhat is like wanting herpies
<@KrON> theres no i in herpes
<@KrON> that sounds like a personal motto

#13409 +(398)- [X]

<Chow-BBL> fuck, i just realized how much i dislike eating pussy
<rtav> ChOwShAdY, I have to ask why you're trying to pleasure a woman...
<rtav> you need to tell her that were she meant to be pleasured, she'd be a man
<Spamalope> keep in mind how often rtav gets ass before you heed his advice pertaining to ladies.
<rtav> Spamalope, My advice is untainted by experience.

#13412 +(43)- [X]

<renster> you
<renster> YOU
<renster> i blame YOU
* Kosh` blames him too
<Lenin> I blame your mother
<renster> i embalm my mother
<renster> and keep her in a barrel
<renster> like pickled fish

#13413 +(41)- [X]

<splorpo> chickens are bits of chickens put together
<splorpo> into a clump
<splorpo> like a shrub

#13414 +(235)- [X]

<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details

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