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#12433 +(236)- [X]

<DarkPhan> humm... i want to find some software that will track eye movements on a webcam
<Spooky42> www.fbi.com/shareware

#12438 +(393)- [X]

<Rhombus> US investigators say they have seen neither bodies nor graves while examining a civilian site in central Afghanistan, allegedly targeted by US warplanes earlier this week.
<Rhombus> That sounds like:
<Rhombus> Fox investigators say there is no proof that any henhouses have been raided by foxes.

#12444 +(212)- [X]

<Knamel> but its basically "I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but i'm the only one talking to you" <Knamel> And i follow that line up with "Comon baby, happiness is only a light switch away"

#12475 +(1528)- [X]

<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those
<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do
<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.
<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.
<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and
<flee> laugh for me.
<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.
<mrg> yup!
<mrg> hahahah

#12487 +(32)- [X]

*** oho_ (~jhgjh@mailhub.tup.km.ua) has joined #toronto
<oho_> If you want to marry with ukraininan girls, chat to me. Marriage agency

#12489 +(142)- [X]

*** CASH4GRLS has joined #toronto
<CASH4GRLS> Any Greedy Female College/Univ. Students in here want me to completely pay their for tuition?

#12500 +(212)- [X]

<mrs> ontariom the phone is for you
<sully> OntarioM is ~Ontario@CPE************.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com * Toronto Man
<sully> OntarioM on #toronto #phonesex #masturbation
<sully> Coincidence?

#12547 +(511)- [X]

<veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the bus
<veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
<veggie> he pronounced it fuck
<sully> back to work with you :)
<sully> LOL veggie
<veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really loud...
<veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
<sully> LOL!
<veggie> hahaha
<veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
<veggie> firetruck = firefuck
<veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
<veggie> etc..

#12558 +(705)- [X]

<RaptorII> Screwing with people's minds is my ultimate pasttime however.
<Supe> Or is it?!

#12572 +(635)- [X]

<g_smackchik> did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<cochese_04> I've got the statistics in on how much I give a shit...the numbers are dangerously low!

#12606 +(245)- [X]

(Kawmun_Sentz): Tip of the day: Your daily fudgesicles intake should be less than 7

#12698 +(320)- [X]

(01/21/02) 11:41PM<MrDev-> christ, they should put a nice warning when you log into a solaris box that killall on linux and solaris are entirely different commands

#12710 +(427)- [X]

<Mr_Saturn> im surprised you won the race with 3 million other sperm <VenDi> i never raced in anythin dumbass

#12729 +(-57)- [X]

<tress> black people don't bother me so long as they are in jail

#12746 +(211)- [X]

<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky

#12752 +(40)- [X]

<sneak> do you use gnutella?
<satman> no i use mirc

#12764 +(402)- [X]

<JohnnyCat> the phantasm movies are good too. along the same thread of weird electronic
            horror movie shit, a movie called cube is awesome
<JohnnyCat> http://us.imdb.com/Title?0123755
<JohnnyCat> very unique
<Somni> is that the one with the new Dax from DS9, and the robot cop from that Tek show
        (by William Shatner)?
<JohnnyCat> i'm not sure.. i don't think so. it's about these people that get stuck in
            the middle of this maze of cubes with doors on each face of the cube.  they
            have to figure out whether it's safe to move from cube to cube, or they get
            diced up
<Somni> yep, that's the one
<q[Simon]> That sounds like my office.

#12768 +(2010)- [X]

<eltawater> anyone know the name of a (mathematical) function which calculates how many times a number M fits into a number N?
<eltawater> i.e. 20,4 = 5
<eltawater> ?
<Biddle> Division?
<AlleyCat> divisor
<eltawater> er
<eltawater> *smacks head into desk*

#12787 +(553)- [X]

<Wilke> LEMME SHOW YOU MY FORECAST
<Wilke> COLD WITH LOTS OF FUCKING SNOW AND LIGHTNING
<Wilke> LOW OF REALLY FUCKING COLD
<Wilke> HIGH OF REALLY NOT QUITE AS FUCKING COLD

#12792 +(12)- [X]

<sneak> amazon.com are such pieces of shit
<hellgrrl> what is amazon?
<hellgrrl> travel?

#12795 +(1060)- [X]

<Farnarcle> I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.

#12797 +(119)- [X]

<NCHRIST> advice - while putting ascreen in a pipe do not stab yourself in the
          fucking finger and cut it and then flail your hand around with the
          screen still stuck in it, losing the screen

#12798 +(568)- [X]

<teknoho> im not drinking hard liquor for a lil while. i gave it up for lent.
<mmmichael> what does lent do to you?
<mmmichael> does it fuck you up?

#12851 +(192)- [X]

<Jallak> Now, see, what you've done is just given me this mental image of this prepubescent girl dressed as a boy on stage, addressing the audience and telling them "Tinkerbell thinks she might become well again if little children believed  in sex"

#12861 +(642)- [X]

<Jammer> Bad things happen in threes, don't they?
<Fake_Plastic_Tree> like Hanson.

#12864 +(151)- [X]

<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."

#12865 +(255)- [X]

Jallak went to Hebrew school at this one temple for years...there was no rabbi, the head of the temple was the Cantor. He had long hair and he sang a lot. He would always give us long sermons about judiasm and goodness and all that, getting very very very passionate, his voice rising, tears nearly coming to his eyes as he spoke of God aa a "Great cosmic teddy bear"...
<Jallak> It's been years since I went to Hebrew school...today I found out the Cantor had been arrested...for running a prostitution ring

#12869 +(284)- [X]

<Red_Green> Dar wants me.
<Daroneasa> to die.

#12889 +(1054)- [X]

<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".

#12891 +(175)- [X]

<JallakWriting> "mammario-fetishistic" is a memorably stupid sounding phrase. How about "tit-happy"?

#12897 +(337)- [X]

<Carter> How did you guys used to think babies were made?
<Carter> I thought it was about urine!
<Carter> I thought you had to mix urine, so I peed in this bucket and I tried to get my brother to do the same so that I could have a baby in the bucket

#12899 +(830)- [X]

<DireWolf> My life'd be a whole lot cooler if Vikings invaded every once in a while.

#12924 +(233)- [X]

<Merrick> Elizabethian: To be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Ebonics: I be fixin to hang in the hood.

#12937 +(287)- [X]

<Dayv> Eric, you wouldn't know bad taste if it came up behind you and licked your asshole with your mother's severed tongue.

#12939 +(955)- [X]

<fm> i've had three girls today IM me and tell me that they like me.
<fm> then they said april fools and signed off.

#12940 +(160)- [X]

<SkoL> mofo must be drunk
<Tweedle> |OUF|mofo: you getting AMD?
<|OUF|mofo> no
<Tweedle> yeah he's drunk

#12941 +(204)- [X]

<@Twitch`> i almost got into a fight at futureshop last night
<@Twitch`> these two guys were talking about NWN, and i said before they played that they should go on 'thine quest to wash thy hair'
<@Twitch`> they had long stringy gross oily hair, it almost made me sick to my stomach
<@Twitch`> they said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then i said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then this store guy asked me to go look at stuff somewhere else
<@Path`> haha

#12944 +(244)- [X]

<assmongrel> my dick is covered in zits
<xar0> ew...
<assmongrel> no it's a good thing
<assmongrel> i'm ribbed for her pleasure

#12949 +(289)- [X]

<boarsai> funnily enough it took me a few minutes to realise my pen didn't have "alt + z" capabilities...

#12978 +(182)- [X]

<Mosh76> TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS, HOW DO YOU STOP PEOPLE FROM SENDING YOU UNWANTED CHAT MESSAGES PROMOTING THERE PORN SITES?
<Mosh76> Can someone tell me, or atleast tell me where to look?
<eller> turn off your computer.

#13018 +(775)- [X]

<Effyis> oh crap...
<Effyis> i just dropped the dip on the floor
<gleep> Oh, well.  Someone help KarbonCopy back up.
<KarbonCopy> me back up?
<KarbonCopy> what?
<KarbonCopy> HEY!

#13033 +(268)- [X]

<LilGCube740> are you from a dif country
<|STeReOtYpE|> portugal
<LilGCube740> u speak poor english
<LilGCube740> i speak poor spanish so its all good

#13063 +(332)- [X]

<hawker> just grab a gun then...
<hawker> end ur misery...
<TomServo> shooting my boss?
<TomServo> good idea

#13065 +(838)- [X]

<Rice_Boy> look at the sys requirements for interdev: www.free-trial-sex.com
<Rice_Boy> er... http://msdn.microsoft.com/vinterdev/prodinfo/sysreq.asp
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> PRON HEAD
<Rice_Boy> my bad
<Rice_Boy> damn

#13068 +(836)- [X]

<Rjx> hmm.....goatse.cx is a better link
<ganonboy> what section of the site are the ROMS in?
<ganonboy> ? is it http://www.goatse.cx
<ganonboy> ??
<Rjx> yup
<ganonboy> I dont see any N64 roms?
<Rjx> what do you see?
<ganonboy> A sick picture...
<Rjx> click on it
<Rjx> it's an imagemap
<Rjx> click on his ass
<ganonboy> you are lying
<Rjx> did you try it?
<ganonboy> yes
<ganonboy> and nothing happens

#13077 +(1477)- [X]

corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine?
Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you?
corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one
corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings
corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt
Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have committed that number to memory.
Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*.
corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version?
Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice of words.

#13094 +(703)- [X]

<SexcBlnde> I want a creamy chicken pizza
<Bart> yeah same! but I want meatlovers
<SexcBlnde> Hmm
<Bart> we could get half and half!
<SexcBlnde> ?? LOL like who will buy the other 2 halves?? ?;)
<Bart> you are joking right?
<SexcBlnde> ??whatttt??

#13097 +(1010)- [X]

<Beedub> How the fuck do I get into IRC?
<Swigh> You dumb fuck

#13107 +(15)- [X]

<Dr_Pain_> i need help here about a cble modem to nuke theres a girl who has take my nick and put it on a child porn chan and im unable to nuke that bitch shes on cable im in winshit

#13110 +(259)- [X]

<OreoTZA> ./ignore #k-rad
<OreoTZA> whoa, i wonder if you can actually do that
<OreoTZA> holdon, I'm gonna try
<OreoTZA> ok, hello?
<OreoTZA> HELLo????
<OreoTZA> anyone seen this?
<OreoTZA> LOL!!!!!! IT FUCKING WORKED
<OreoTZA> holy shit
<Dawgyman> josh
<OreoTZA> SHIT I SEE DAWG, it didn't work


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