#721 +(-2088)- [X]
<SWM> The real issue is which candidate will kill more niggers.
<SWM> Gore's idea of poisoned chicken wings is pretty good
<SWM> But I like Bush's idea of a giant oven disguised as a swap meet.
<SWM> Niggers love swap meets.
#86 +(-2004)- [X]
<EM> heh i wonder if there will be any black people in my classes
<EM> like i couldnt imagine black ppl being in cisco routing!! because black people just jack cars!!!
#875656 +(-1769)- [X]
<Zuuzou> hello everyone
<pronto> hi, im masturbating
<pronto> how are you?
* coldvodka kills a kitten
* pronto eats that kitten
<coldvodka> cat, the other white meat
<pronto> baby, the other other white meat
#509956 +(-1668)- [X]
Shosh912: when tthy say you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: does that mean you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: or 5
#10 +(-1625)- [X]
<Mishmashi> yesterday i got bisexual services
#608216 +(-1516)- [X]
(@prex) man .jp is fucking tight
(@prex) suggest you a get with it
(@antlers_) anyone shit on your face while you were there?
(@prex) yes, and i'm 500 yen poorer for the experience!
(@antlers_) tell you this much, my first time in Tokyo I fucking loved it... still do... but a visit to some of their adultshops just negated all positive thought
(@Blaxthos) never been to .jp
(@Blaxthos) i hear shit is expensive the most
(@prex) yeah well me not being a sexual deviant i didnt visit any adult shops
(@antlers_) <--- sexual deviant
(@prex) man mother fuck some edema
(@prex) flight was 9hrs and change tho
(@prex) fast as fuck
(@kaleido) did any of your less profitable bitches kill themselves because of the dishonor they felt when you arrived?
#11 +(-1391)- [X]
<dazz:#cdr> its it possible to read half a disk at a time, eg, i have a small hd, can i read 300 mb, burn it, and the do the another 300 mb, and som on, eg on a psx game
#30510 +(-1383)- [X]
<@orion> i just mark down all the good nigger jokes on purpose now
<@orion> so they'll be at the bottom
<@orion> aka, the top nigger jokes
<!scabb> that's where those niggers belong.
<@orion> back of the bus, bottom of the /names list, end of the qdb
<@Sir_Neo> first in line @ kfc
#415421 +(-1379)- [X]
#669955 +(-1290)- [X]
<Pbob> you know what would be awesome
<Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower
<Pbob> And then gas them
<Pbob> With that funny voice stuff
<Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy cartoon charatcers
#316 +(-1231)- [X]
<DumbBitch> wtf am i not quoted on the quotes?
<DumbBitch> i have to be one of the most funniest ppl in this channel :/
#21842 +(-1149)- [X]
<skacore> you shut your face you nigger loving pile of intestinal feces, ill rip your bowels out and feast on them, then i'll impregnate your girlfriend and wait 7 months then unwravel her belly button and suck out all the vaginal discharge and feast upon the baby. i will fornicate your liver, then make you guzzle gallon after gallon of putrid diarrhea. you will gag on my green logs of asshole mud butter
#106430 +(-1112)- [X]
* SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke
<SBRLestat> a sprite for me scythe
<SBR_Starfire> Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock
<SBR_Starfire> oh my god
<SBR_Starfire> I'm never going to live that one down am I?
#582647 +(-1083)- [X]
sessorach: you know whats funny?
sessorach: offering people sexual favors in exchange for something
sessorach: be like "Ill give you sexual favors for that whatever"
mathJunkie314: you know whats funny?
mathJunkie314: me reading that last sentence before the rest O_o
#718845 +(-1054)- [X]
<Computer> Today Chuck Norris was released as a downloadable patch for Street Fighter. When asked about a glitch that made all buttons force his character to perform a roundhouse kick, he responded, "what glitch?"
#585661 +(-1044)- [X]
<Blaxthos> you know what
<Blaxthos> DO YOU KNOW
<Blaxthos> i'm slightly ashamed
<Blaxthos> then i remember being 7 yrs old
<AltSnooze> you peepeed in your pants again?
<Blaxthos> dancing with mom
<Blaxthos> Elton John - I'm Still Standing.mp3
<Blaxthos> i still love that song
<chilly> did you uncle touch you in funny places?
<Blaxthos> no :(
#707236 +(-1019)- [X]
Lamesauce: Good god
Lamesauce: There's a Pimple Congressional Meeting going on on my face.
Lamesauce: I think they just passed a bill...
#105108 +(-995)- [X]
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
<@SJr> g g
<@SJr> o / / o
<@SJr> a| | | | a
<@SJr> t| `. | | : t
<@SJr> s` | | | | s
<@SJr> e | / / \ --__ \ : e
<@SJr> x / _--~~ ~--__| | x
<@SJr> * _-~ ~-_ | *
<@SJr> g _ _.--------.______| | g
<@SJr> o ______// _ ___ _ (_(__> | o
<@SJr> a . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
<@SJr> t / | C ____)/ (_____> |_/ t
<@SJr> s / /| C_____) | (___> / s
<@SJr> e | ( _C_____)______/ // _/ / e
<@SJr> x | |__ \_________// (__/ | x
<@SJr> * | ____) `---- --' | *
<@SJr> g | _ ___ /_ _/ | g
<@SJr> o | / | | | o
<@SJr> a | | / | a
<@SJr> t | / / | | |t
<@SJr> s | / / __/___/ | |s
<@SJr> e | / / | | | |e
<@SJr> x | | | | | |x
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *
#230407 +(-968)- [X]
#283358 +(-966)- [X]
<prairiePirate> well there was a kid on the news that was born without eyelids
<prairiePirate> they had to use the skin from his circumcision to make them
<prairiePirate> they say he's ok, just a little cock-eyed
#519439 +(-966)- [X]
mouAng: cuz im not perverted
IllIllziroIllIll: say something perverted
IllIllziroIllIll: at least once
mouAng: ums okays
#446742 +(-964)- [X]
<Dee> A man walked along and saw a ladder going up into the heavens
<Dee> he climbed up a ladder and saw an ugly woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> the man got freaked out and started climbing the ladder frantically
<Dee> on the next level, he saw a plain looking woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> seeing a pattern here, the man climbs the ladder again
<Dee> on the next ladder, he saw a really hot woman, very beautiful and sexy
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> the man is tempted, but thinks, 'If the woman is hot here, imagine what it would be like in the next level!' and he climbs the ladder
<Dee> on that level there was this fat ugly hell's angel, with a fucking long beard, piercings and decorated with tattoos
<Dee> the man screamed "who the fuck are you?!"
<Dee> the hell's angel said "i am cess"
#196025 +(-955)- [X]
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US
#875691 +(-945)- [X]
<ditte> my parents had a girl about my age
#50296 +(-939)- [X]
<linux> "So... my girlfriend told me she thought i was a pedophile the other day."
<linux> "so i says to her, that's an awfully big word coming from a 12 year old."
#728958 +(-939)- [X]
<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew
<Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before
#606658 +(-938)- [X]
Skull: The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
#417076 +(-929)- [X]
<NightShade> hey Bamihap, lets do a singalong :D
<NightShade> The internet is really really great
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> i got a fast connection, so i dont have to wait
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> there's always some new site
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> i browse all day and night
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> its like surfing at the speed of light
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<Bamihap> WHY DO YOU THINK THE NET WAR BORN???
<Bamihap> PORN PORN PORN!!!!
<NightShade> I'm glad we have this new technology
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> which gives us untold opportunity
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> from your own desktop, you can research browse and shop
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> untill you want to stop
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<Bamihap> ALL THESE GUYS UNZIP THEYR FLIES
<Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN
<Bamihap> SO GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE-CLICK
<Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN!!!!
<NightShade> o.m.f.g. :D
<Bamihap> sorry shade, we masturbate ;)
#177969 +(-927)- [X]
(Ninja_Mo) definition of irony"
(Ninja_Mo) <Oedipus> Sup mofo?
#718608 +(-923)- [X]
<krad89> Why do black people wear pants so low?
<krad89> Spell saggin backwards.
#754399 +(-923)- [X]
<mayb> procrastination is like masturbation
<mayb> it's fun until you realize you just fucked yourself
#416874 +(-916)- [X]
<[Cadaver]> There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!" George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!" ^_^
#858 +(-913)- [X]
<Berzerker> i saw this black kid at my community college today with a programming cobol book
<Berzerker> whats a nigga gunna do with cobol
#433425 +(-911)- [X]
[30/10/04 00:32:41] Tinkerbell :
last funny for the day
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are
there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself
with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really
The Queen takes a sip of tea.
"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have
a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's
not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in
the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have
a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face,
"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
#477 +(-903)- [X]
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
- Albert Einstein
#208854 +(-902)- [X]
<@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
<@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
<@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
<@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
<@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
<@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary.
<@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
<@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
<@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
#714971 +(-902)- [X]
Nolano so this guy gets home
Nolano and his wife tells him that his son got caught having sex with the teacher
Nolano and so she tells him to go scold him
Nolano so they go outside and he says
Nolano "son, U'm really not angry with you
Nolano In fact, I'm damned proud.
Nolano But you need to pretend I'm mad
Nolano After this, we're gonna go down to the bike shop and buy you a new bike
Nolano So just look like your ashamed
Nolano So they go down to the bike shop
Nolano get the bike
Nolano and he says to his son
Nolano "Now, do you want to ride it home, or just put it in the truck
Nolano And the son says
Nolano "well dad, lets put it in the truck. My ass is still sore."
#719395 +(-896)- [X]
Gee: ROTFBMALFO = Rolling on the floor because my artificial limbs fell off. :)
#515134 +(-882)- [X]
<MetalRox66> Could Jesus make a quote so funny that bash.org would not reject it?
#715644 +(-882)- [X]
<Pulits> So we a have a masochist, a sadist, a zoophilic, a necrophile, a coprophilic and a fetichist.
<Maltos> Why the fuck I have the impression this is going to be nasty?
<Pulits> They're all in jail. So suddenly, the zoophilic says "Hey guys, lets fucking rape a cat!"
<Pulits> And everybody is like "FUCK YES!", but suddenly, the coprophilic says "After we fuck it, we shit on it!"
<Pulits> Everybody applauds. And the necrophile then says "Then, we kill it. And after that, WE FUCK IT!"
<Maltos> Ok dude this is sick.
<Pulits> Everybody is orgasmed. The sadist then says "Before we kill it, lets fucking torture it!"
<Maltos> Jesus leave the cat alone!
<Pulits> So the fetichist is like "And then, we dildo rape it!"
<Pulits> Everybody is like "YEAH MAN LETS DO IT!"
<Maltos> What does the masochist says, then?
<Maltos> HAHAHAHA. XD
#274808 +(-877)- [X]
<-Ex> Did you hear about the new nigger barbie? It comes with 12 kids, aids, and a welfare check.
#715510 +(-875)- [X]
<Dr.Foongoggles> Ya see, the PS3 is hung like a horse.
<Dr.Z> And the 360?
<Dr.Foongoggles> The 360 is the guy who gives you that weird STD called "overheating".
<TheShuffler> so what does that make the wii?
<Dr.Z> You didn't notice?
<Dr.Foongoggles> Well it is rather feminine.
<TheShuffler> How so?
<Dr.Foongoggles>.....Your Wii looks like a vagina, Dylan.
#501719 +(-873)- [X]
rydia 917: I have an insanity test
rydia 917: 1. Do you speak French? Yes No
rydia 917: Yup, you're insane. Only insane people speak French.
#695338 +(-873)- [X]
[ Pwyff ] So one day, George Bush and The Queen of England are sitting in her room talking about politics, when Bush asks the Queen, "How do you know if the highest members of your state are smart enough to be doing their job?"
[ Pwyff ] And the Queen replies, "Well, I usually ask them riddles, and see how fast they respond. That's usually a good way to see if they can think for themselves."
[ Pwyff ] So the Queen calls Tony Blair in, and asks him, "If your Parents had a child, but it's not your sister, and it's not your brother, who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Tony Blair immediately replies, "That's easy, it's me!"
[ Pwyff ] And the Queen, who is very pleased, send Tony Blair away.
[ Pwyff ] Now, Bush, who is very impressed, brings the Queen to find Donald Rumsfield and asks him, "Hey Donald, if your parents had a kid, but it's not your sister, and it's not your brother, who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Rumsfield ponders for a long time, and then admits to Bush that he has no clue.
[ Pwyff ] Pissed off, Bush drags Rumsfield and the Queen to Dick Cheney, where Bush asks Cheney, "Hey Dick, if your parents had a kid, but it's not your sister or your brother, who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Cheney ponders for a long time, and then he finally lights up with an idea, and says "It's me!"
[ Pwyff ] And Bush gets REALLY pissed off, and yells at both of them, "NO YOU IDIOTS! IT'S TONY BLAIR!"
#401323 +(-868)- [X]
<@Kouji_Minamoto> A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all sitting around one day talking about how much their lives sucked. The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad." So the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone puts me in vinegar, puts spices on me, and sticks me in a jar." The penis glared at them both and said, "You guys think you have it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until i throw up and pass out."
#419930 +(-853)- [X]
<Bilbo>: Pac Man time!
<Bilbo>: < ............. M
<Bilbo>: < ........ M
<Bilbo>: < . M
<Bilbo>: Oops. I died.
#492651 +(-852)- [X]
Eglagaladiel: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat nuclear warheads?
#714570 +(-841)- [X]
<komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> So they buried her.
#119073 +(-838)- [X]
<exo> why are redneck murders so hard to solve
<exo> cuz theres no dental records and all their DNA is the same
#74 +(-832)- [X]
<JCamel> heh, no, because i jacked off into his mom's black bra, and she blamed it on him
#567151 +(-832)- [X]
<@ChrisH> Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
<@ChrisH> by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
<@ChrisH> "OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
<@ChrisH> staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
<@ChrisH> president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
<@ChrisH> up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
#373090 +(-781)- [X]
<SC_DNO> i was holding the Canadian flag one day, and i jumped into a car...lmao wait a second!
<SC_DNO> THEY'ER CANADIAN, they dont have a flag
<Eric|TheWheelman> sure they do
<Eric|TheWheelman> its a piece of cloth with a leaf on it
<William> You can wipe your ass with both.
#719376 +(-766)- [X]
<cameltoe> Best resignation letter ever:
<cameltoe> Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.
#1778 +(-754)- [X]
<wild> whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
<wild> it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus
#954477 +(-748)- [X]
fr0gman: my ex gf is blowing up my phooine
fr0gman: and sent me emails
fr0gman: and is trying to call me from a blocked number lol
fr0gman: AT LEAST I FEEL WANTED THIS VALENTINE'S
oldmadtom: she wants the d
fr0gman: i should be like "Happy Valentine's ay... you'll get the D later"
#95680 +(-737)- [X]
[_Fidel_] your husband is that nigger that hugs u in "bigt.jpg"?
[rinat2137] dont use that word please.
[rinat2137] but yeah..thats him
[_Fidel_] how does a nice white jewish girl like yourself fell inlove with a niggro ?
[rinat2137] i said dont use that word..please
[_Fidel_] i'm sorry, "colored" dude
[rinat2137] and an answer for your question, love is BLIND
[a_duck] "love is BLIND"... i think you are the blind if you got married with a nigger
#882566 +(-731)- [X]
<PacMan85> fresh fl strawberries
<jedrek> strawberries aren't in season here yet
<PacMan85> well that sucks
<jedrek> not really
<jedrek> i prefer waiting a bit to living in america's hospice
#515093 +(-726)- [X]
<Nori123> You don't know jack shit
<VioletSky> That's not true, I know him well
<VioletSky> I'm serious
<VioletSky> Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
<VioletSky> Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
<VioletSky> However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
<VioletSky> She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
<VioletSky> Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
<VioletSky> The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
<VioletSky> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
<VioletSky> So there.
<Nori123> I have actually chortled coke through my nose
#68653 +(-652)- [X]
<chojin> i love reading the bottom quotes on bash.org
<chojin> they're so funny
<chojin> i mean, even niggers know they're funny
<chojin> well, they would, if they could read the quotes
<chojin> dumb niggers
#580518 +(-650)- [X]
RWG> my site is back up
#703614 +(-647)- [X]
<Zio> man, I keep expecting my room to fill up with jews
<Zio> it's an oven in here!
#1246 +(-624)- [X]
<eblan-> if all mexicans just killed themselves the world would be fixed
#60904 +(-617)- [X]
<Squiggle> Also:the bottom ones [on bash.org] are some of the best
<Squiggle> They're all about niggers
<Squiggle> Niggers = funny
<Sulzanti> Not if you have to be in smelling distance
#536960 +(-596)- [X]
<Zell> Can i gline people for threatening to MS DOS me?
#762565 +(-587)- [X]
Erik: when did anakin skywalker become evil?
Erik: in the sith grade!
#913842 +(-587)- [X]
T: that Haitian earthquake is a bad one
T: even the Presidential Palace was destroyed
c: Yeah, nothing was left but two wheels and an axle
#526546 +(-546)- [X]
[dark-force] how long is a second?
[[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless
#275 +(-534)- [X]
<ikkenai> these tortilla chips are growing dangerously salty
<ikkenai> old dutch is approaching the limits of the sodium frontier
<CanuckGod> ikke: the Ristorante ones?
<CanuckGod> those things are as salty as a nigger's balls
#150374 +(-530)- [X]
<pork> GAS THE JEWS
<Kristy> thats horrible
<Kosta> See Kristy, you just misspelled "honorable" again
#289910 +(-525)- [X]
WC128: OMFG that pizza was orgasmic
WC128: it was as if God and Jesus and Mary just bukakked into my mouth
#905920 +(-522)- [X]
<+Djiem> There, I'm troll-baiting my whole MSN friendlist
<+Djiem> "Oh shit, know what's happening December 2012 ?!?!"
<+Djiem> And if anyone asks me what, I'll say "I turn 30"
#914637 +(-494)- [X]
WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: pro tip don't use photoshop when you could get the same effect in pain
WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: t
Bobv2: How do you draw while in pain?
WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: MS PAINT
WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: OPEN FILE ASIANPENIS.JPG: FILE IS EITHER TOO SMALL OR CORRUPT TO BE RUN:
Bobv2: words cannot describe the win
#506323 +(-486)- [X]
<[omni]> wtf... it took you like 15 seconds to show us a picture of your hymen, but I have to wait hours to see a pictures of the pussy I'm actually interested in?
#525446 +(-484)- [X]
<G-nius> Yeah, but smoking is for girls who don't get sex o.o
#1521 +(-470)- [X]
(br0kerman) leave him alone
(br0kerman) hes more l33t then u
(br0kerman) he deserves +o
(Skizer) no, he can fuck off
(Skizer) he deserves +JEW
(Skizer) cause he's a faggot
(Skizer) not even +JEW
(Skizer) some jew's are cool
(Skizer) he's gay
(Skizer) he deserves +SANFRANCISCO cause he's a flaming faggot
#96038 +(-465)- [X]
<QBiT> What happens wen all the niggers are standing on the moon ?
<QBiT> Then the problem is finally solved :P
#582052 +(-451)- [X]
<ardnew> no way. all europeans are the same. they have hearts made of cheese.
<ardnew> and they can breath underwater.
<ardnew> not to mention the tails they are born with...
<SysSpider> i thought it was a replacement penis
#715357 +(-451)- [X]
* Chrispy is playing : naughty college girls volume 4
#99139 +(-450)- [X]
<Heavy_P> Whats the diffrence between a black and a table
<Heavy_P> A table can support a family
#34891 +(-447)- [X]
<Raenne> .. I'M ON BASH.ORG?!?!?
#524806 +(-445)- [X]
#849870 +(-443)- [X]
<PufF-> think im gonna wait to smoke up til i get to work
<PufF-> i dont like driving high
#526017 +(-433)- [X]
<KOMPRESSOR> guess what i got
<KOMPRESSOR> i got a 100 dollar cigar
<Lurch> wow, don\'t spend it all in one place
#868801 +(-424)- [X]
<zaim> you know the jews had dns back in the day
<zaim> their numbers resolved to a name
#84797 +(-422)- [X]
Motorbreath151: i'm gonna grow my hair and beard like sam jackson's in this movie
Motorbreath151: i'm the foot fuckin' master
TheOffspring326: you should become black too
Motorbreath151: lemme try
TheOffspring326: just rub shit all over your body
Motorbreath151: man that's wrong on so many levesl
TheOffspring326: then you'll smell AND look like them
#867379 +(-408)- [X]
< Magus|Screen> Ooh, that would've been bad
< Magus|Screen> Trying to think of an analogy for a problem this customer's having
< Magus|Screen> "Trying to predict loads on the shared servers is like trying to make a Jew eat pork"
< Magus|Screen> Almost said it
#611458 +(-400)- [X]
<ToasterIron> guys check it out i'm going to be this awesome scientist
<ToasterIron> one day i'm going to invent a base the only melts jews on contact
<ToasterIron> i'll call it holocaustic
<Tristain> "DO NOT CONCENTRATE"
#22822 +(-395)- [X]
<FreshBrew> niggers are good, but you cant leave fried chicken lying around, or watermelon. they'll snap it up like a fucking.... nigger or something.
#422929 +(-392)- [X]
<cyan> You know what would suck?
<cyan> If an accident happened and you had to dial 911, but you have dyslexia.
#831193 +(-388)- [X]
<Corrupte> My friend's a fag he tried this dating servivce
<Corrupte> and found a girl that was like 20 years old, blonde, mature and had big tits
<Corrupte> Foolishly he went out wit a girl with no picture
<Corrupte> But she was actually 20 and had was blodne and shit
<jason> why is he fag then
<Corrupte> She was born on a leap year
#1430 +(-378)- [X]
<LatinKing> Just look at all the contributions Irish niggers have made to society
<LatinKing> Potato Famine
<LatinKing> Black Irish
<LatinKing> Are the worst
<Culex> aren't irish green tho?
<chracker> pots of gold are cool
<LatinKing> You have to be the stupidist person I have ever had the chance encounter of conversating with....
<LatinKing> Only pot of gold you have is your dried up honey pot between your flaming red crotch...and that pot was plundered a long time ago
#414591 +(-377)- [X]
[jbroome] mandrake 10.1 Community is available for download for the
common folk now.
[ jbroome] 'careful though, it's French
[ admiralfrijole] damn frenchies
[ jbroome] in installed SuSE on my network and the mandrake box
[ admiralfrijole] sheesh...terrible
[ jbroome] are you shitting me? That's comedy gold right there
[ fatstrat] ROFL!!!!!!! love it!
#725392 +(-367)- [X]
<@CCFreak2K> Go down to your local Home Depot and ask for one.
<%Zeraliten> No such thing as Home Depot in eurofag-land :(
<@CCFreak2K> Then go to a Home...Gulag.
#144842 +(-366)- [X]
<Costilled> "Try our new pepperoni pizza!"
<Costilled> and I'm left thinking
<Costilled> what's so new about it?
<Costilled> so I kick the guy in the throat
<Costilled> and take his wallet
<Mystech> o.o out
<Mystech> Or ouch
<Mystech> depending on how weirdly my brain is functioning tonight.
* karass has joined #jack
<Costilled> and then there was deer
<Costilled> don't get me started on deer
<karass> i wont
<karass> sorry i brought it up
<Costilled> but the pizza was hand tossed
<Costilled> the cook could have tossed off in the dough and we wouldn't know
<Mystech> Well like didn't you watch him make the dough, too?
<Costilled> He was kneading the dough as only a hooter girl could understand
<Costilled> you know if they drop the dough while tossing it, your pizza is free
<Mystech> Wow, man, that's deep.
<Costilled> Did you know
<Costilled> you can no longer get a pitcher of soda at pizza hut
<Costilled> your refills are free
<karass> ive never gotten a pitcher of soda at pizza hut, so i dont think im terribly put off by the bad news
<Costilled> they just don't want you hording the soda
<Costilled> the glasses are rediculously small however
<Mystech> Arizona is the state of free refills.
<Mystech> all refills are free.
<Costilled> A smurf would get caught by his knickers if he decided to go for a swim
<Mystech> uhhhhh. . . huh?
<Costilled> and remember, it's never polite to place your tip to the server by aiming coins into his buttcrack
<Mystech> O.o It's not polite for your server's buttcrack to be showing.
<Costilled> I didn't care
<Costilled> I was tipping him with the money I got from the guy I kicked in the throat
<Costilled> nevermind the fact that it was canadian
<Costilled> the money that is, not the buttcrack
<Mystech> Them canadians are infultrating out society.
<karass> apparently the new 20 is going to be peach colored
<Mystech> have you seen the new twenty dollar bills?
<Mystech> They are colored!
<mulefoot> They're peachy :)
<Mystech> Just like canadian funny-money!
<karass> i hear thats because they are made of human flesh
<mulefoot> Soylent greenbacks?
<Costilled> soylent cash
<Mystech> By gadzer!
<Costilled> I must unshare my brainwave with you
* Costilled takes his brain out of the DMZ
<mulefoot> Its just a harmonic...here file on one one of your fillings.
<Costilled> I have no fillings
<Costilled> I'm crest's bitch
<mulefoot> In that case we're going to have to change the shape of your brain cavity. I'm going to need a power drill and an M-80.
<Costilled> scope flavored
<Costilled> the currency of the UK is multicolor
<Costilled> and also scratch and sniff
<Costilled> scratch it and it smells british
#21 +(-351)- [X]
<Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
<Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
<Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her
#32491 +(-344)- [X]
<Atrox> So there I was, hunched over Vorgen's dog. The car's grill kind of left this nice opening in it's abdomen, cause really, I wasn't about to fuck a dead dog in the ass, that's just wrong. Anyway, I was thrusting hard, and like hit something hard, I was all WTF, then realized I fucked through the dog and hit the cement. Was wierd.
#915759 +(-344)- [X]
<Alex> I come in from a night out, pissed. And suddenly I turn into Gordon Ramsay
#267722 +(-341)- [X]
<Twizzlers> I wanna become a counsler so i can tell rape victims they asked for it.
#767620 +(-339)- [X]
CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home
CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?"
CarlXxX: I sat down..
CarlXxX: cut my nails
CarlXxX: played with my cat
CarlXxX: jerked it
CarlXxX: and slept
#393563 +(-337)- [X]
<JoeDawson> "Tour De France Winner Lance Armstrong was stripped of his title after 3 substances banned by the french were found in his hotel room"
<JoeDawson> The three banned substances... Deoderant, Toothepaste, and soap.
* JoeDawson TEH FUNNAY