tom: why do girls get grossed out when you say you've tried to suck your own dick?
Kanddak: are you saying you've tried to suck your own dick
tom: today in journalism these girls tied my shoelaces together
tom: so I bend down to untie them
tom: and she pushes my head down
tom: and I'm like "believe me, I've tried about a million times, it's not going to work"